November
by emotional-static
Summary: Post RENT - "The old Mark wouldn’t have done this and I don’t know what he’s trying to prove, but I still love him. I just can’t be with him right now.” Mark's secret comes out & with it comes the end of his relationship with Maureen. Updated 9-
1. November 25th, 6 PM EST

[A/N: I was sitting around today, enjoying my day off from school, and I was leafing through my huge RENT book, just thinking and crap. I realized that all I've been writing is post RENT stories, so I figured, why the hell not write a pre RENT story? Okay, so maybe it's not a totally pre RENT story, but eventually everything will be explained.** Deals with pre RENT themes**. There ya go! Here's my little addition. Feedback is always awesome, and I swear this one will be continued this time.]

**Note**: Takes place a year after the play ends. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: All credit belongs to Jonathan Larson. 3 Thank you.

_________________________________________________________

NOVEMBER 

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Abby…come on sweetie, you have to eat."

"No! This place has yucky food!" she whispered, her blonde hair falling slightly into her face. I sighed.

"Please don't be difficult. How about some of my burger?" I suggested, cutting off a small section and handing it to her.

"Okay." Abby took a tiny bite of it and smiled. As much as my 3-year-old daughter could be a handful, she had her angelic moments too. "Mommy, your phone is making the funny sound again," she giggled. 

I pulled out my cell phone and smiled back at her. She was referring to the song it always played every time somebody called it, which happened to be a cheap knockoff version of "Frosty the Snowman" for the holidays. Thanksgiving was Friday, after all. "Jenna Walsh."

"Jen, it's Kelly. Did you fax me over the sketches before you left?"

"Yeah, they should be on your desk. I won't be back in the office until Tuesday," I reminded her, holding Abby's glass of lemonade so she wouldn't spill it all over herself. 

"Okay. Have a great Thanksgiving."

"You too." I shut my phone off and placed it back in my bag to find Abby pouting at me. "What did I do now?"

"No more phone calls," she said, taking a french fry off my plate.

"No more phone calls, I promise," I said. 

The waitress came back over and paused by the table, smiling at Abby. "Sorry, I'm taking over Maria's shift. Is there anything else I can get you both?" Her brown curls were piled messily on top of her head, and Abby giggled again as one fell into her face.

"No thanks. Just the check," I replied, handing Abby a napkin to wipe her face with. When the waitress wasn't leaving, I noticed her staring at me. 

"I'm sorry to stare, but you look familiar."

I shook my head and shrugged. "Maybe from another time. Another place, you know?"

The waitress shook her head. "No, but I really feel like I know you from somewhere."

"Maybe I just have one of those faces." I glanced down at her nametag before realizing that I _did_ actually know this person. "Maureen."

"Yeah?"

"Maureen Johnson, right? Mark's girlfriend?"

She blushed at this. "Yeah, but more like ex girlfriend now. I told you I knew you! Jesus, let me think…"

I decided to help her out. "Jen."

"Jen?! Oh my god, how are you? I haven't seen you in forever."

"Three years," I added. "Long time, I guess."

"Wow, so what are you doing back in the city?"

"Never left. I'm apartment hunting basically, and I promised Abby I'd take her to see the parade."

"Have you seen—"

I cut her off. "No, I haven't, and please don't tell them I'm here. I was going to stop by later on, but I don't want everyone knowing ahead of time," I begged her. 

"No, of course I won't." She pulled out her ordering pad and scribbled something down on it. "Here's my number. I know some places around here that are selling apartments for decent prices. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?"

I ripped a small piece off and wrote my own number on the bottom and handed it to her. "Oh, um, I'm not sure really."

"Why don't you come over and have Thanksgiving with all of us at the loft?" Wow, she didn't hesitate at going in for the kill at all. 

"I don't know, Maureen. Let me get back to you on it?" I said, as Abby started squirming in her seat. 

"Sure." She pulled the check out of her apron and placed it on the table. "It was really great to see you again."

"Yeah, it was." She waved at Abby before turning her back and walking away.

"Mommy, who was that?" 

"Just an old friend of mine."

"I liked her hair. It's pretty."

"Yeah." I preoccupied myself with taking the money out of my wallet and setting it on the table. I stood up and grabbed my purse before helping Abby hop down. "Ready?"

"Yup!"

"Want to go and meet some more old friends?" I questioned her. I knew now that Maureen would have an extremely hard time keeping her mouth shut, so it was either now or never, and I had definitely put it off long enough.

"As long as we get to come back to the Life…Life Café," she read, clutching on to my hand. I adjusted her scarf around her neck and nodded.

"Sure."

______________________________________________________________

As we walked through the East Village, I didn't remember this side of town ever unnerving me as much as it did today. I guess having a toddler really changed your perspective on things—that, and revisiting your past.

"How much farther?" Abby whined. I bent down to scoop her up, and rested her on my hip.

"Better?"

"Uh huh." She started to twist my shoulder length light brain hair with her gloves. 

"Hey, it's beginning to snow," I said, smiling as I twirled her around. She giggled and clapped her hands together, trying to catch a few snowflakes unsuccessfully. God, it really killed me when she did that. She reminded me so much of him that even now, 3 and a ½ years after I left, it still came as a shock. She was a complete mirror image of her father, even down to her eyelashes.

"Can we make snow angels?"

"I don't know. We'll have to see." I paused in front of old weather-damaged apartment building and hesitantly climbed the stairs all the way to the fourth floor. I paused before apartment 4B.

"Can I knock?" she whispered in my ear.

"If you want," I whispered back. She smiled and reached out her gloved hand and knocked, which didn't make very much sound at all. "Mommy, you try."

"Okay." I set her down and knocked twice. After waiting for a few minutes with no answer, I grabbed her hand and turned away. "I don't think anyone's home, baby."

"Oh." She yawned and shrugged. "Oh well."

"Oh well, huh?" I laughed. 

"Jen?" Shit. I guess we weren't out of the woods.

I turned around and smiled half-heartedly. "Hey Mark."

"You're back? I mean—you look great," he said, smiling warmly at me. "Sorry, I was just on the phone in my office."

"Oh, that's okay. I was just stopping by to say hi?"

"Hi after three years?"

I smiled again to find Collins come out into the hall, enveloping me in a hug. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah, it has," I said, returning the hug. "Still teaching?"

"At NYU."

"I'm glad. Hi Marky." I gave him a hug too. 

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Mark asked.

"No, but being invited in would be great," I said sarcastically, ruffling his blonde hair, just like the old days.

"Ah, the sarcasm drips from her voice. Now this is the old Jen we've really missed around here," Collins chuckled.

"Excuse me," Abby said, tugging on his pant leg. "What's your name?"

I shook my head at her. She was so outgoing, and not afraid of anything in the least. 

Collins bent down to her level and stuck out his hand. "Thomas B. Collins. What's your name?"

Abby giggled and put her much tinier hand in his larger one. "Abby Nicole Davis. It's nice to meet you Mr. Collins."

I saw the looks that crossed both of their faces, even though I wasn't directly staring at either one of them. 

"Well, Miss Abby, would you like to take a walk in the park with me?" Collins suggested, holding at his hand.

"Can I?"

"Sure sweetie, as long as you promise to listen to Collins, okay?"

"Uh huh. C'mon Collins!"

I mouthed a silent 'thanks' and Collins nodded as he headed down the stairs with Abby.

"So uh, do you want to come in?" Mark asked, breaking the void of silence. I nodded and stepped into the loft as Mark shut the door behind both of us. It was complete déjà vu—down to the beaten up couch that had housed so many memories. The only things that I picked up right away were that the walls were repainted, and a light carpet had been lain down in place of the wooden floor. I took of my coat and scarf, and Mark immediately took them from me and hung them on the coat rack.

"I'm sorry to drop by like this—I know I probably should have called first," I added, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

"No, of course not. It's really great to see you again. Abby's beautiful."

"Thanks." 

"Do you want a beer?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt." He set one in front of me and popped the top off.

As he took a seat across from me on the overstuffed, equally beaten up chair, I could tell that he had a lot of questions, especially about Abby.

"I don't mean to be blunt or anything, but is Abby Roger's?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer.

"How many other Davis' do we know?" I laughed, throwing my hair over my shoulder. "Yeah, she's his."

"Does he know?"

"Let's think about this logically Marky. If Roger knew, who do you think the first person he'd share this with?"

"Yeah, I guess that was a stupid question, but you never know, Roger's been known to battle his demons on his own."

"I suppose. Is he—"

"No, not dead. Far from it. He's out at practice right now with the guys. He should be home in about twenty minutes, so if you want to bolt before then I can set the timer on the stove," he smirked, checking his watch.

I threw a pillow at him and it creamed him right in the face. "You're so amusing."

"So I've been told, once or twice."

"Is he still shooting up?"

Mark shook his head. "He's been completely clean for over two years. It'll be three years in February. He's changed, really he has. Exactly like the old Roger we knew growing up. And he's single."

I rolled my eyes at Mark. "Gee, thanks for adding that in."

"Hey, I figured you want to know."

"Thank god he's off the drugs now. I really thought if I ever came back here he'd be dead, and then I'd regret never coming back in the first place." I tucked my feet underneath me and took a sip of my beer.

"I know. It's been hell, but he's pulled through. He's really focused on his music right now."

"Yeah."

Mark cleared his throat. "Were you pregnant when you left?"

I nodded. "Almost four months."

"I wish you would have said something."

"I'm glad I didn't. I didn't want to raise Abby around all that shit. I didn't want her to know her father when he was hooked on drugs."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Looks that way," I smiled, glancing down at my hands.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Let's hope."

Mark stood up to adjust the heater and sat back down. "Did you ever finish your degree at NYU?

I shook my head. "I realized I was pregnant by the end of August of '93—"

"That's right around when you left."

"Yeah. I packed up my things, dropped out of NYU, and headed back home to Scarsdale. My parents weren't too thrilled about me "wasting" their precious money, so it was pretty tense between us for a few months. I was 22 years old with no degree, no job, and an ex boyfriend who was strung out on heroin. Abby was born in March, and I ended up transferring to Quinnipiac. I took two classes to finish up my Journalism degree a week, mostly on the weekends, so I could spend time with Abby during the week. My mom was really great about watching her—even Erica gave up her Friday nights to watch Abby sometimes."

Mark nodded. Erica was Jen's younger sister. "How old was Abby when you went back to school?"

"About five months. The commute was killer—about an hour each way, so I ended up staying on campus overnight from Friday to Saturday and come home Saturday night. I finally graduated in June of '95, and by then Abby was a little over a year old, so I was offered a job with a fashion magazine in the city. I bought an apartment and found a wonderful daycare for the first few months, and then hired a babysitter instead. Abby's three now, and I've been working at the magazine for about two years."

"Wow, that's really great. So you basically set the tone, huh?"

"I guess so. It hasn't been easy—far from it. You try studying for exams with a seven month old with an ear infection screaming," I laughed. I realized that I had missed these people more than I could give them credit for. "What about you and Roger?"

"I've just been editing scripts and working part time at a production company. The people are unique, and I get to do what I love, so I'm happy. Roger's been busy with the band, playing a few gigs around town. He's been doing pretty well, actually, at least after Mimi."

"Who's Mimi?"

"She was his girlfriend. She died back in February." He held off on telling Jen why Mimi had died, figuring that was a conversation Roger and Jen should have on their own.

"Oh." It was silent again. 

"Anyway. What are you doing around here?"

"I was actually apartment hunting. My landlord upped the rent way too much and it's definitely not worth it anymore, so I was looking for a place. No luck so far," I added.

"Yeah. Our building's full too, although you could always stay here," he offered. 

"Thanks, but I think that would be a little too awkward for me, you know, with Roger and Abby and everything…"

I heard the key scraping inside the lock and felt the color drain from my face. Mark must have taken noticed, because he smiled sympathetically. 

"Hey, it'll be okay. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I added. This was just Roger—my first boyfriend that I lost my virginity to, the guy I went to prom with, who I ran away with to New York. Everything had started and would eventually end with him, and if it fell apart and ended today, then at least I'd know. Right?

Roger walked in and placed his guitar by the door, taking off his leather jacket as he shut the door behind him. His hair was lighter than I had remembered, but it suited him. Who was I kidding? He looked good. He didn't seem to take notice of anything right away.

"How was practice, Rog?" Mark questioned, as if I wasn't sitting on the couch at all.

"Same as always. Gig next Friday at CBGB's…" He had turned around, and his eyes automatically settled on me, a pure look of "What the fuck are you doing here and who let you in?" written across his features. "Jen?"

"If you need me, I'll be downstairs at Maureen's." Mark stood up and bolted, leaving Roger and I staring at each other from across the room.

"Yeah," I answered. As we both continued staring at each other, I had to admit I wasn't sure if it was right for me to be here. I had wanted to come back so many times before—and now that I was here, I felt out of place—like I was treading in deep water. 

Roger waited for the loft door to close and Mark's footsteps to retreat before saying anything to me. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't think I could." I noticed a pained expression cross his face, but I didn't regret it. 

"Oh." He walked into the kitchen briefly before coming back into the living room. "You look good."

Was that supposed to gain bonus points with me? Funny how I thought the same thing about him moments before. "So do you."

He looked horribly uncomfortable, and before our conversation could carry on any further, the loft door opened again. Collins entered, carrying Abby on his shoulders.

"Hi mommy!"

I smiled as Collins put her down. She toddled over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Hi baby."

"Collins took me to the fountain and we threw pennies in it and he told me to make a wish," she rambled.

The look on Roger's face had advanced to shock by now as he took in the scene in front of him. "Well Collins is a very smart man," I added. Collins shook his head and shrugged.

Abby looked up at Roger and ran—more like bounced over to him. "Hi there."

Roger looked amused and bent down to her level. "Hey," he greeted. 

"My name's Abby Nicole Davis, what's yours?" she questioned innocently, looking at the tattoos on his arms. I bit my lip and sighed. I hadn't exactly planned on telling him this way, but now there was nothing else for me to do.

He looked, well, kind of pale, but quickly regained his composure. "Roger…Davis."

She giggled at this. "We have the same last name. Cool."

"Yeah. We do, I guess," he replied, looking at me and raising his eyebrows. I pulled my hair back into a loose twist and slumped back against the couch a little.

"Hey mommy, Collins said he's gonna take me downstairs to…Maureen's house."

"The lady with the pretty hair," Collins added, smiling. "Ready?" He held out his hand and she took it.

"Bye Mommy. Bye Roger."

"Bye," Roger added, waving a little.

"Bye sweetie."

Roger crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me. "Did I miss something?"

I nodded, still biting my lip. "You've missed a lot, depending on how you look at it."

_Spinning on that dizzy edge_

I kissed her face, I kissed her neck 

_and dreamed of all the different ways_

_I had to make her glow_

_"Why are you so far away?" she said_

_"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?_

_                                                      That I'm in love with you?"_

________________________________________________________________

A/N: Did that completely suck? You guys tell me, because it was just an idea floating around in my head. 

**NOTE:** Jen is Roger's girlfriend from high school. They, along with Mark, graduated together. Mark went off to Brown University for a year or so, and Jen and Roger ended up moving into the loft with the help of Collins, Jen's old professor from NYU. Basically, I had Collins start out at NYU, then bounce over to MIT, then back to NYU for the course of the play. Eventually, Roger got involved with The Well Hungarians and drugs. Jen left about two years before the actual start of the play, pregnant with Roger's baby. She was pretty good friends with everyone, with the exception of Joanne of course, but no one has heard from until now. Hope that clears a few things up and gives a little background.

NEXT UP: Jen confronts Roger; the gang celebrates Thanksgiving.


	2. Abby

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 2

**NOTE**: Changing point of views. I decided I wanted to tell the story both from Jen and Roger's perspective, and I can't really do that when I'm speaking from Jen's point of view all the time. ;) Thank you so much to **Kelby, elodie, **and** Eponine54.** It means a lot to me that you all take the time to review my story. 3

_Roger crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me. "Did I miss something?" _

_Jen nodded, still biting her lip. "You've missed a lot, depending on how you look at it."_

Roger looked a little disgusted by Jen's last statement. "Why'd you come here Jen? When you left, you made it sound like you had nothing to ever say to me again. I fucked up and you left. The end."

"I didn't want to leave," she said quietly. She hated arguing with him. She didn't come here to argue, she came here so he could meet his daughter. "I didn't have a choice."

He rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, okay."

"You were so self absorbed in drugs and fucking every other girl you met. You abandoned me a long time ago," she shot back, raising her voice.

He picked up Mark's half empty beer bottle and tossed it in the trash, missing by a few inches. It shattered, falling to the floor. "What do you want from me? An apology? Then I'm sorry, okay? If I could take it back, I would, but I can't! Did you want to fucking prove that you're better than me, because good, you just did."

"That's not the reason I came here."

"Then why did you?" he shouted at her, bending down to pick up the glass off the floor. 

"Because Abby's your daughter Roger, and she deserves to know who her father is!"

"Then why didn't you tell me?" He had grabbed some paper towels off of the counter and threw them on top of the spilt beer.

"What were you gonna do? Get clean for us? For how long, Roger? A month, maybe two? You couldn't take care of yourself!"

She could tell that he was getting really pissed off. "But I can take care of myself now. I can't make three years up overnight. You sound like you don't even want me to know her or give me a chance."

"I wouldn't have come here if I didn't want to give you a chance. I don't want to keep her from you any more." 

He looked up at Jen and finished cleaning the broken glass up and shrugged. "Then don't."

Some of the beer had started to seep into the edge of the carpet, and Roger had taken no notice, so instead she stood up, brushed past him, and threw a chunk of paper towels onto it and stepped on it. "Whatever you say Roger."

"Stay for Thanksgiving weekend."

Jen looked at him. "What?"

"I said, stay here for Thanksgiving weekend. Let me get to know her. That's what you want, isn't it?" he asked calmly. 

She nodded, thinking it over. That _was_ what she wanted, but wasn't sure if this was the right way to go about things. "I don't know."

"What's not to know? It's not like we're getting married or anything. Stay for the weekend and we can hang out." 

"Well—"

"Please Jen?" His eyes were begging her, and she hesitantly nodded.

"Yeah, I guess. I'd have to go back to my place and get some stuff, but okay."

He smiled and Jen thought she would melt into the fucking carpet. "Good."

His watch started beeping and she glanced at the time on the clock. 5 PM. "Hungry or something?"

"What? Oh—um, no—I mean yeah, but that's not what. Never mind." He looked away and walked into the kitchen.

"Did you eat anything at practice?"

He shook his head. "Not since this morning."

"Do you want me to make you something?" He shrugged. "Abby's probably going to be hungry soon anyway."

"You don't have to do that."

God, he was so stubborn. "Look, just let me make you something to eat, okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. I don't know what we have though. There's some pasta in the cupboard, but you don't have to go all out—"

"Roger shut up." Jen headed towards the kitchen and started pulling cabinets open. There were three packages of pasta and two jars of tomato sauce, along with a box of Cap'n Crunch, some bread, Chips Ahoy, and granola bars. Not much to work with. "Just call Mark and find out if he wants to bring himself and whoever up here."

"Okay."

_______________________________________________________

The pot was set on the stove and the noodles were already cooking twenty minutes later. Roger and Jen had made idle attempts at conversation—mostly revolving around his band, her job, and Abby. 

"What's her favorite color?" he asked, sitting at the barstool behind her.

"Last week it was green—but not regular green. A neon green, I think," she smiled, stirring the pasta a little. "Now it's black."

He seemed amused by this. "Black? I thought most girls liked pink…and purple?"

She shrugged. "Abby thinks outside of the box, I guess."

"Yeah." He seemed to get quieter and quieter as the minutes wore on, and Jen had a feeling it had something to do with Abby—maybe a mixture of guilt for not knowing in the first place, and depression because he had missed out on the simple things as she grew up.

"Can I ask you something?" Jen nodded and turned towards him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you regret everything that happened between us? I mean, do you regret ever dating me in the first place?"

That was the kind of statement that either made you laugh or cry, and for Jen, it seemed to have the opposite effect. "God no. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me." She realized what she had just said and laughed a little. "Did that sound too movie clichéd and cheesy?"

Roger shook his head and smirked. "Nah. I kind of realized after you left that you were good for me to."

"Yeah." 

The loft door opened and Abby came running in and around the corner into the kitchen. "Mom! Look at the picture that I drew!"

Jen crouched down to Abby's level and took it from her. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"Kay. See, this is…Mark's house, and that's you, and Roger. And you're holding hands, because you both have blue eyes. That's Collins, and then that's Maureen and Joanne, and they're holding hands because Mark told me their in love!"

Roger burst out laughing and Mark grinned sheepishly from the door. "Way to corrupt a 3-year-old," Roger added, shaking his head at Mark.

Jen started laughing too. "Good job Marky. Bring Collins with you?"

"Yup. Collins said he'll be up in a second, and so will Maureen and Joanne."

"So I guess the grass was greener on the other side for Maureen, huh?" Jen teased. Mark blushed, which only made Roger laugh harder.

"I don't get it," Abby said, staring at everyone curiously.

"That's okay sweetie, it's just us grown ups talking." 

"Oh. Alright." Abby took her picture back from Jen and handed it to Roger. "For you."

Roger got off the bar stool and smiled. "Thanks. Want to come help me find a spot to hang it up? Then maybe I can show you something really cool, like my guitar, but only if your Mom lets you." Roger looked over to Jen.

"Mom he's got a guitar!"

"So I heard. Go ahead," Jen added, smiling back at Roger.

"Sorry about telling Abby about Maureen and Joanne." Mark took off his coat and placed it on the couch.

"No, it's fine. I'm trying to teach her to be open minded."

"Is it working?"

"The kid's favorite color is black, what do you think?" Jen smiled, pouring the two cans of sauce into a separate pan.

"I take it things went well with Roger?" Mark asked, collecting the plates from the cabinet and placing them on the kitchen counter.

"Definitely not at first. We started arguing, but then we both calmed down. He wants us to stay for Thanksgiving weekend."

Mark added some glasses to the counter. "Are you?"

"Yeah. I really want to give him the chance Mark, I do, but it's hard."

Mark nodded. "Don't let the past stop you. I'm serious Jen, he really has changed, and this time it's for the better."

"I'll take your word on that."

"So, are the fireworks going off yet?"

"Let's just try to get him used to the idea of being a father first."

Mark laughed and pulled out his camera. "Good idea. Look at them."

Jen looked over his shoulder in the direction of Roger's room. Roger's door was opened, and Roger was sitting on his bed with his guitar, Abby perched next to him. "I can't believe you still have that old thing."

"I really do."

"Dork."

"Shut up. November 25th, six PM, Eastern Standard Time. Close on Roger and Abby, bonding together after being separated for three years. Jen's here too. Say hi Jen." Mark panned the camera over to Jen, who gave a little wave and made a goofy face.

"Hi Jen."

"Loser!"

"Shut up, Cohen. Now put the camera down and help me with the food."

"I'm here to serve."

____________________________________________________________________

Jen was just dishing the pasta into a larger bowl when Collins, Maureen, and who Jen assumed to be Joanne entered the loft. Collins had brought a large loaf of Italian bread with him, and Maureen had brought what smelled like brownies.

"Hey," she greeted. "I'm just finishing up in here."

"No problem," Maureen added cheerily. "Oh, Jen, this is my girlfriend Joanne. Joanne, this is Jen. She used to live with us back in the day."

Joanne smiled warmly and shook Jen's hand. "It's nice to meet you. Your daughter is charming."

"Thanks. She tries."

"We could all eat in the living room? Mark suggested.

"I'll cut the bread." Collins headed off into the kitchen. 

"Jen, where should I put these?" Maureen questioned, holding the brownies in her hand.

"On the counter, I guess. If Abby sees them, she'll make a beeline and a holy mess." Jen brought the pasta out from the kitchen and set it on the coffee table. "Abby, Roger, dinner!"

Abby ran out of Roger's room with a big smile on her face. "Roger let me play his guitar!" she beamed, taking a seat in between Jen and Maureen. Roger sat on one side next to Jen, while Collins, Mark, and Joanne filled in the other side.

After half an hour of various conversations, everyone was finished eating, including Abby—who had managed to get more of it on herself than in her mouth.

"Okay, so who's up for coffee and brownies?" Maureen asked, picking up a few dishes.

"Oh! I am!" Abby yelled out. 

Jen picked Abby up and wiped her face with a napkin. "How about we go get your face washed and then you can have brownies with Roger and Mark so I can go get some of our things from our apartment?"

"Yeah. We're staying here?"

"Yup. For the weekend." 

"Cool." Roger, Collins, and Mark laughed at this, as Maureen and Joanne smiled.

Jen carried Abby into the bathroom as Mark and Roger finished cleaning up. 

"Davis does dishes. Shocking," Maureen said, sarcastically running the water over the glasses and dishes stacked in the sink.

"Fuck off," Roger said, flipping her off. 

"Language," Joanne scolded, laughing. She and Maureen left to go sit in the living room with Collins, who was grading some papers he had brought with him.

"So what do you think of Abby, Rog?" Mark asked, getting the coffee started in the kitchen.

"She's great Mark. Seriously. She's so smart. I just wish I could have been there throughout everything."

"Yeah, but you were a different person back then, and Jen had her reasons," he added.

"I know."

Jen walked out with Abby, setting her down on the couch next to Collins. "Can you guys keep an eye on her for a little bit? And Mark, make sure she doesn't have too many brownies. She tries to guilt trip you sometimes."

"Do not," Abby said, watching Collins grade papers. "What's guilt trip?"

"How about a brownie sweetie?" Maureen asked, changing the subject. "Can you get them for me, pookie?" she added, referring to Joanne.

"Hey Jen, can I go with you?" Roger asked. Jen shrugged and nodded, grabbing her jacket from the rack, tossing him his leather jacket as well.

"Guess some things never change."

"What, like you and me sneaking out in the middle of the night?" he smirked.

"Nah, I was talking about the leather jacket."

___________________________________________________________________

A short subway ride later, Jen and Roger had reached Jen's apartment building. She found her key and opened the door, flicking on the lights.

Roger did a double take as he walked in. "Wow, it's pretty nice."

"Yeah, minus the whole expensive rent deal," Jen said, setting her keys on the table. "I'm gonna go get a few things, so make yourself at home."

Roger nodded, his eyes resting on the wall by the couch. A large group of pictures were scattered along it in chronological order. Roger made his way to the end—or beginning, depending on how you looked at it. There were a few pictures of himself and Jen in the beginning, and god did they look young. They must have been about 17 or 18 years old. Then prom, graduation, and a few more taken in the city after Jen and Roger moved into the loft. The familiar faces started disappearing after that, and before long Roger noticed how the people gathered in the pictures become almost nonexistent. He saw a few of a very pregnant Jen showing off her belly and making a crazy face with a girl Roger didn't know. Jen in the hospital with Abby, Abby sleeping,  crawling, standing, walking. Abby coloring, watching TV, Halloween, Christmas. 

_He really had missed a lot_.

Roger wandered down the hall and found Jen searching through a dresser in a very pink room that he could only assume was Abby's.

"Need any help?"

She looked up and shook her head. "No, I was just getting some clothes for her. Her blanket, a few books, Pinky."

"Pinky?" Roger asked. 

"Yeah." Jen held up a stuffed Pink Panther animal. "Pink Panther? C'mon now."

"Oh. I had a Cookie Monster."

"I remember. It used to sit on your bed. Kind of hard to make out with someone when it's staring right back at you in the face."

"Weirdo."

"That's so 80's. Weirdo. Nice comeback," she teased, tossing the Pink Panther at him.

"Do you have everything?" he asked.

"Yeah. My clothes, her clothes, liquid Tylenol, her vitamins, toothbrushes. I brought her baby book and a photo album with me. I don't know, figure you might want to look at them later."

Roger nodded. "Okay."

"Look, I'm not trying to force anything on you. Abby gets attached to people easily, but if you're gonna let her down they just let me know ahead of time." Jen walked past him and down the hall, checking the messages on her answering machine.

"Jen, it's Mom. Give me a call back and let me know if you and Abby are coming up for Thanksgiving. Love you, bye."

_"Jen, it's Kelly. Your cell's off. Can't find the sketches for the article, help! Can you fax them again? Later."_

_"Hey Jen, it's Michelle. What do you think about you, me, and Cancun in March? I'll explain later. Bye."_

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine."

"Jen."

"What?"

"I'm not."

"I said fine."

"Fine."

"Let's go."

"Fine."

[A/N: I really do have a stuffed Pink Panther named Pinky, lol. Except mine's about 17 years old and ready to fall apart.]


	3. Miss Ivy League

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 3

Thanks for the reviews guys! I 3 you all!

_____________________________________________________________

Jen rolled over in bed, squinting at the numbers on Roger's alarm clock. 6 AM. She groaned and shut her eyes again. Any minute now Abby would be running into the room, yelling about the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade at the top of her lungs. She felt bad enough about kicking Roger out of his room, although he insisted that the pull out couch was fine for him and that she needed the bed. Mark had his room, and Abby was set up on the other pull out couch in his office.

She had heard Roger get in around midnight last night from bartending, reminding her of all the times she would be lying in the very same bed, waiting for him to come home. As the months wore on, it would be progressively later with a different excuse, and there were very few mornings when he wasn't high or hung over—or a combination of both. 

She pulled a pillow closer to her and inhaled his scent on it. How many times had she done this, when she couldn't find him or he wasn't home? Too many. 

Closing her eyes, she was close to drifting off to sleep when she heard tiny footsteps running down the hall and giggling before Roger's door squeaked open.

"Mom?" Abby whispered, peeking in from the hall.

Jen pretended she was asleep, learning from experience that if she didn't answer right away, Abby would go back to sleep for another half an hour or so—most of the time.

"Mom?" she repeated, her voice getting a little higher.

"Hmm?" Jen opened one eye to find Abby at the foot of the bed and Roger leaning against the doorframe, grinning.

"MOMMY!" Abby shouted, jumping on the bed. Unfortunately, she bounced a little too high and Roger made a dive to catch her before she tumbled off the bed.

"Whoa. Cool. Can I do it again?" she asked him.

"No," he laughed, placing her back on the bed.

"Definitely not," Jen added.

"Mom get up! Now. I wanna see the balloons!" she said, taking the pillow away from her. When Jen didn't get up, Abby looked at Roger. "Do something Roger."

He grinned again. "Like what?"

"Tickle her," Abby giggled. "Feet!" she whispered.

Jen shook her head and tried to get up as Roger grabbed onto her right foot and started tickling it.

"No, fuck, Roger! Stop it! Davis!" she shouted at him. "Mommy didn't say that sweetie. You never heard that word."

"Yeah I did. Mark said it last night when you weren't here, but I won't say it, I promise," she laughed, as Roger still had Jen's foot in his grip.

"Well I guess I'll have to have a talk with Marky, huh?" She smiled at her. "Did you eat?"

"Nope."

Jen crawled out of bed, pulling her hair into a messy bun. "I have to take a shower, so what do you want?"

"I'll get it," Roger added. "Go take a shower."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Abby, let Roger make you something to eat and don't give him a hard time."

"Kay." She ran out of the room as Jen grabbed some clothes out of her bag. 

"You don't have to come with us if you don't want to. You look tired."

Roger shrugged. "Nah, I wanna go. I never saw someone with that much energy at 6 AM, well besides Mark, the workaholic," he laughed.

"Yeah, so by noon she'll be ready for a nap," Jen added, grabbing her hairbrush as well. 

"Roger!"

"You better go," she smiled.

________________________________________________________________

"It's not my fault I don't know how to cook a turkey!" Maureen shouted, slamming the potholders down on Mark's counter. "It's been in the oven since 9 AM, I think it should be done by now."

Joanne glared at Maureen from the island, where she was sitting on a barstool flipping through a folder of legal documents. "It said 3 ½ hours. It's almost noon. Therefore, there is half an hour left," she said sarcastically.

"Okay Miss Ivy League, why don't you try?" Maureen added, shooting an icy stare Joanne's way.

"Why don't you just shut your—"

"Okay! Moving on!" Mark said, intervening and trying to change the subject at the same time.

Collins chuckled as he covered the mashed potatoes and placed them on the other side of the oven. "Roger and Jen should be back soon?"

Mark nodded and took the gravy out of the microwave. "His mom keeps calling and I keep running out of excuses."

"So make him call her back?" Maureen suggested, adjusting the timer.

"Don't do that!" Joanne argued. "Leave the timer alone."

"I'm in charge of the turkey and I'll do whatever the hell I want with it!"

"Ladies. Let's just be…thankful today?" Collins suggested.

"Hmph," Maureen said, placing the potholders back on her hands.

"So much for originality," Mark smirked.

"Move it or lose it!" Maureen screeched, shoving him out of the way.

___________________________________________________________________

"I can take her if she's too heavy for you."

Roger shook his head as he and Jen continued walking through the East Village. "Nah, she's fine," he said. Abby was sleeping, her head resting against Roger's shoulder.

Jen brushed some of the hair out of her face and placed her hands back in her pockets. "She must be really exhausted. I never saw her that excited about the parade before," she laughed.

Roger grinned. "Yeah, it was fun."

"Liar," Jen said, smiling and shaking her head.

"Hey I'm serious. I need to get out more, even though it was freezing."

"Yeah. It was kind of cold."

They crossed the street and continued walking past Tompkins Square Park. "So, were you supposed to go to your mom's for Thanksgiving?" he asked.

"I don't know. She asked me a few times. How'd you know?"

"Your answering machine," he laughed. 

"Oh. Well she asked me a few times, but like I said, my dad's schedule is always crazy at the hospital. Last year he had to do an emergency appendectomy exactly when my mom was pulling the turkey out of the oven. My mom was pissed, but it's not like he has control over when he gets paged. She should know, she did the same thing Christmas Eve. They were short on attendings in the ER and she got called in to fill the rest of a doctor's shift. Didn't get home until 5 AM Christmas morning."

Roger laughed. "I forgot for a second that both of your parents are doctors."

"Don't ask me why a doctor would marry a surgeon—they barely see each other, and when they do, they usual argue," Jen shrugged.

"How's Erica?" Roger asked, adjusting Abby a little on his shoulder.

"Good. Had her sweet 16 in July. Got her permit last month. Has a boyfriend—you know, normal teenage stuff. She got in trouble with my dad last week," Jen grinned.

Roger looked over at her. "Why, what did she do? Throw a wild party or something?"

"No, but speaking of parties, remember that one party you had when the cops showed up?"

"Let's not go there."

"How long were you grounded for?"

Roger laughed. "Four months."

"And who snuck in through your bedroom window every night?"

"You did," he added. "Good thing you kept me sane, because my family sure as hell wasn't. Don't ask me how Lindsey got grounded for three weeks and I suffered through four months."

"Poor baby."

"Yeah. So what did Erica do?"

"Mom found condoms in her sock drawer," Jen grinned.

"She what? Are we talking about the same Erica here?" Roger laughed.

Jen started laughing. "Yeah, so my mom finds them and gives her the little speech and everything, then she takes them from her and leaves them on the counter in the kitchen."

"What kind of sense does that make? Like if you know your kid is having sex, then why take the condoms from them?" Roger asked, trying to be quiet so he wouldn't wake up Abby.

"Don't ask me. Anyway, my dad walks in from the hospital late one night, around 11 I guess. My mom's upstairs watching TV in their room, and Erica was out with Vinnie—that's her boyfriend. So he starts going through the mail and magically finds the box of condoms. He starts yelling for my mother to come downstairs and asks her if she was planning some kind of romantic getaway for the two of them. My mother starts cracking up and saying that no, they're Erica's, and then he starts laughing and doesn't believe her. So Vinnie drops Erica off about twenty minutes later, and my dad asks her if the condoms are hers, and she says they are. So instead of yelling at her right away, he starts telling all of these horrible 'One night I went to the bar and met a hooker' jokes, and telling her about the importance of protected sex. Then he starts going off at her, and my mom had to get into the middle of it."

"Wow."

"So the next day, he comes home around 3, right after Erica gets home from school and leaves a bunch of colored condoms on the kitchen table. Erica wanted to kill him."

"Kind of reminds me of the time your mom found condoms in your jeans," Roger smirked.

"Oh shut up. Only because I was holding them for you," Jen said, shoving him a little.

"Right. Blame it on the guy, naturally." Jen whacked him on the arm and rolled her eyes. "Can you get the key out of my back pocket?"

Jen nodded and pulled the key out of his jeans and opened the loft door, the smell of turkey wafting out into the hall.

"Holy shit, it smells good in here," Roger admitted, closing the door behind them.

"Thanks," Maureen replied cheerfully. Mark and Collins were carving the turkey, although Collins was taking charge and Mark was more like stabbing it. Joanne walked in right after Jen and Roger with a bottle of wine she had brought up from downstairs.

"How was the parade?" Mark asked, finally giving up with the turkey and passing the knife to Collins.

"Good," Roger answered. Abby started stirring against his shoulder and woke up.

"Cold," she yawned.

"Yeah," Roger agreed, putting her down. She climbed onto the couch and sat on it as Jen took off Abby's jacket and shoes.

"Can we have turkey now?" Abby asked, rubbing her eyes.

"If you want," Jen smiled.

"Is Roger having some?"

"Yeah," he answered, trying to pry the cork out of the wine bottle.

"Okay." She got up and ran over to Joanne. Jen was in the kitchen, talking to Maureen and pouring the gravy into a separate dish. Mark seized the opportunity and pulled Roger aside for a minute.

"So?" he asked.

Roger laughed and shrugged. "So what?"

"How was it?"

"It was good, I had fun."

"And?"

"And Jen is a really great person. But we already knew this."

"Do you miss her?"

"I do, but not in the same way I did before."

Mark raised his eyebrows at this. "What do you mean?"

Roger sighed. "Before, I had April and Mimi and I only thought about her once in awhile, but she was still always in the back of my mind. But now that she's here, it's another kind of missing her."

"You're being too intellectual for me," Mark said sarcastically. "Meaning what exactly?"

"Meaning that I still care about her, but I really fucked up with her. I know I hurt her, and I don't know if she's willing to give us another chance. I don't even know if I want another chance. I do, but I don't, but I do."

Mark started at him before answering. "You don't know that."

"I don't know, I think she's used to being a single mother and I don't think she'd want me in their life that much, especially with all the extra baggage I have now," he added.

"Then talk to her."

"And say what?"

"Tell her how you feel."

"You know I'm not good with shit like that."

"Hey, I'm not Dr. Spock or anything, but Abby really likes you, Rog."

"She likes everyone."

"No, but it's different with you. For the past two days the Jen's been here, she's gotten really attached to you. More than me and Collins, or Joanne and Maureen."

"Yeah."

"Mimi's gone Roger. Don't keep living in the past."

"I know."

"I'm not forcing you to do anything."

"I know."

Mark cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Your mom called again."

"Oh."

"She wanted you to come up for Thanksgiving," Mark said.

"I know."

"So why don't you go? Not for dinner, but for dessert or something? And take Jen with you? Then maybe you both could have some time alone without Abby."

"I don't know Mark," Roger said, frustrated.

"Look, just go. We'll watch Abby for the night. You guys can go, visit your parents and maybe Jen's parents. Hang out together just like the old days?" he suggested.

"I guess I'll ask her."

"Good, because I'm starving," Mark grinned.

"You're such a loser."

"Exactly, but I'm still hungry, and you are the most complicated person to have deep and meaningful conversations with."

"Thanks, I think."

"Dinner you guys! Stop professing your love for each other and come and eat!" Maureen yelled out, clanging her spoon against the gravy dish.

"Maureen calls."

"You're still a sucker for her, you know that?" Roger laughed, following Mark into the kitchen.

__________________________________________________________________

An hour later, Jen was helping Maureen with the dishes when Roger walked in.

"Hey," he greeted, leaning against the refrigerator.

"Hey." Jen grabbed the dishtowel and wiped her hands. "What's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Jen nodded. "Yeah, sure. Just let me put Abby in Mark's office so she can take a nap and I'll be right out."

Roger nodded and walked into his room. He made his bed and cleaned a few things up off of his dresser before Jen walked in five minutes later. She took a seat on his bed and watched him.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Oh—um, my mom really wanted me to come up for Thanksgiving, so I was gonna leave in a little bit so I can at least get there for dessert."

"Okay."

"And I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me? I know you mentioned something about your mom wanting you to stop by her place, but you don't have to come with me if you don't want to," he blurted out. He took a small duffel bag out of the closet and threw a few shirts and pants into it, along with some socks.

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I guess that's fine. I'll go," she said. "Do you think Mark's gonna be okay watching Abby?"

Roger nodded. "Maureen said she'd take her. Joanne too."

"Okay, I'll just get some of her things to give to them and we can go." Jen stood up and smiled at him before leaving the room. 

Ten minutes later, Maureen and Joanne had left with Abby's things, and Mark and Collins had promised to take Abby downstairs to them when she woke up from her nap.

Jen had added her clothes to Roger's bag, and he had grabbed his pills and tossed them in as well. He made sure she hadn't noticed, because he wasn't ready to tell her yet. There was a lot of things he wasn't ready to tell her yet, but he knew this weekend would give him a good opportunity to get some things out in the open.

"Who's car are we taking?" Jen asked, slipping her shoes on.

"Mo's. I already got the keys from her," he grinned.

"You sure about this Marky?" Jen asked.

"No problem. Have fun, don't let Roger get too drunk, and use protection," he winked. Jen walked over and hit him as Roger laughed.

___________________________________________________________________

Roger was just turning off the parkway when Jen's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Please tell me you're coming to the football game tonight?" 

Jen grinned. Erica was co captain of the cheerleading squad this year, and tonight was the annual Thanksgiving game at the high school. "I'll be there. What time does it start?"

"At 7. Eagles against Cougars. Dad's gonna be stuck in surgery all night, and Mom has a double shift at the hospital."

"I swear I'll be there. You need a ride home to and from?"

"Yeah, I was gonna go out with the girls after the game, but I have a cold or something, so I feel like shit."

"No problem. We'll meet you there."

"Whose we?"

"You'll find out when we get to the house. I'll talk to you later. Get up and go, take it to the field…"

"Get ready to face boys tough as steel. God that cheer sucks."

"I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye."

Jen tossed her phone back in her purse as Roger grinned at her.

"I liked that little cheer you just did there. How about I get a little private show after the game."

"Pervert." Jen rolled her eyes and rested her head against the car window.

"I was only kidding," he added, noticing how she withdrew herself from the conversation after he said that. "Jen."

"Roger."

"Walsh."

"Davis."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Never mind," he added, pulling into the residential section.

"Erica wants me to come to the football game tonight. Do you want to go?" she asked. "I feel bad because my parents can't even go."

Roger nodded. "Sure, why not? I guess we'll just have dessert or whatever at my mom's and then leave around 6 to take her over to the high school."

"Yeah."

Five minutes later, they were driving down Roger's street. "Who the hell is here?" he asked, parking on the street because the driveway was completely full.

"Don't know. Did your mom say?" Jen opened her door and got out.

"Of course not." He grabbed the duffel bag from the back seat before meeting Jen on the other side. 

Jen bit her lip a little. She could tell her was nervous—she could always tell when he was angry, upset, nervous, or tired. That's exactly how well she knew him and how well she could read him.

"Nervous?" she asked.

He shrugged and nodded. "A little."

"It'll be okay," she reassured him. She slipped her hand through his and felt him relax a little. She felt more than awkward in doing so, considering that she hadn't seen him for three years and had only spent the last two days with him, but in a way it was like picking up where they had left off—almost. She made a mental note to have some kind of talk with him later, on what they were or what they wanted to be. She was happy with just being Abby's mother; it's what she had been for the last few years, but a part of her needed someone else to be there for her now.

They walked up the side of the driveway, squeezing in between the cars. As they reached the porch, Roger rang the doorbell, shifting uncomfortably. You could hear the laughter and talking filtering outside through the slightly opened bay window adjacent to the porch.

"Sounds like they're having a good time," Jen said.

"Yeah."

"It's okay Roger."

"I know."

About a minute later, the front door opened, and a small silver haired woman with glasses appeared in front of the glass screen door. She had an apron on over her pantsuit and was smiling broadly when she opened the door for them.

"Look what the cat dragged in—my vagabond grandson," she smiled, giving Roger a hug before he could even get through the door. "It's so good to see you."

"Hi grandma."

She wiped her eyes on the corner of her apron before letting Roger and Jen through the door.

"Hi Linda," Jen greeted, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

"Jen honey, you look so good! It's been too long since I've seen you. Oh my, Sandy, Annie! Look who I found out on the porch!" she called, taking Roger and Jen's jackets from them.

A tall brunette and a shorter woman with highlighted blonde hair appeared around the corner, chattering animatedly.

"Roger! Oh my god sweetie! You came!" the brunette exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Oh god," she said, crying a little.

"Sandra honestly, don't start blubbering over him, you're embarrassing him," the blonde laughed, giving Roger a hug as well.

"Hi Aunt Annie."

"Don't hi me after all this time. I have half a mind not to speak to you right now," she teased.

Jen tried to blend in with the wallpaper when Sandra noticed her and clapped a hand over her own mouth. "Jen! Oh my god! Sweetie I haven't seen you in such a long time! I just talked to your mother the other day, she was telling me about you and that sweet little baby of yours." She gave her a hug as well and making a fuss.

"Hi Annie," Jen greeted as well. She used to love coming over to spend time with Roger's family—they were always so warm and inviting, and home most of the time, unlike her parents.

"We just pulled the turkey out of the oven. Russ, Jerry, and Doug are carving it right now, and your brothers are downstairs watching the pre game show on the big screen," Linda added, rushing off back into the kitchen. "BOYS! YOUR BROTHER'S HERE! So help me god if any of you want first dibs on my homemade apple pie you all better get your behinds up the stairs!" 

Roger laughed, and Jen cracked a smile

"Ah damn grandma, I was comfortable."

"Don't sass me, Jimmy. I'll bring that wife of yours from upstairs and have her whip you into shape."

"So these two blondes walk into a bar…"

"Joseph Alexander if I happen to hear another joke…" Sandra warned, as everyone filed into the living room.

"Ma, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Kyle!' he said, defending himself.

"Stop blaming your cousin."

"Kyle, stop influencing him," Annie added, shooting a glare at her son as well. "23 years old. Grow up."

"Mom…"

"Don't Mom me!"

Nobody seemed to take notice of Roger until Jimmy started looking around and happened to realize he was in the room. "I guess if you leave the door open long enough anything wanders in," he joked, giving Roger a hug. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah," Roger answered. "You too."

Joey smirked at him. From behind, you could barely tell the two apart. They even had the same hairstyle going for them. "Mom finally dragged you home, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Gee thanks. I love how my children refer to me simply asking them to come home as dragging them," Sandra laughed, peeking her head into the kitchen

"Don't upset your mother," Linda warned, shaking her finger at all of them. "Especially you, Joseph."

"Grandma…"

"Ma, leave everyone alone," Annie said, walking into the kitchen.

Everyone minus Roger, Jen, Sandra, Annie, and Linda returned downstairs. Linda and Annie reentered the kitchen, as Sandra gave Roger another hug.

"I'm so glad you're home. And you too Jen, sweetie," she said, smiling.

"Thanks Mrs. Davis," Jen said.

"Your momma's so ugly…"

"JOSEPH ALEXANDER DAVIS!" Sandra hollered.

________________________________________________________________


	4. Risk

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 4

[A/N: Whoa, definitely just got the Well Hungarians joke. Heh, Well Hung. Aw man that's great. ***cough* **Thanks to Kelby and elodie for the reviews!]

"So did you both eat?" Annie asked. She and Linda were finishing with the salad, adding tomatoes and olives to it.

"Yeah, we ate with Mark before," Roger said, grabbing a bunch of olives from the salad bowl. Linda slapped his hand away and Annie laughed.

"Okay Ma, we don't have to get violent over your precious salad." She grabbed the dressing out of the fridge and left to carry it into the dining room.

"They're all the same. My god, Jimmy and Joey were up here starting on the mashed potatoes at 10 in the morning," she said. 

"That's what I get for raising boys," Sandra smiled. 

"Don't know how Lindsey and Heather had the sanity to put up with the three of them when you were all growing up," Annie added, referring to Jimmy, Roger, and Joey.

"Four," Linda added. "They had your son Kyle too."

"Roger, can I talk to you for a second?" Sandra asked, setting down the potholders on the counter.

He nodded. "Yeah. Sure." He looked at Jen before leaving, who gave him a small smile.

"Jen honey, can you bring me the gravy?" Annie called over. 

Roger and his mom entered the living room, where Sandra started to put away the piles of coats stacked on the end of the couch. "So how are you? Honestly."

He sighed and started helping her with the coats. "I'm okay Mom. I've been clean for almost three years."

"Good. That's what I wanted to hear for so long now." 

"Yeah. I really owe it all to Mark."

Sandra smiled at this. She remembered all the late night phone calls she used to receive from Mark when Roger had been too stubborn to call her. "How is he?"

"He's good. Producing films and everything, so he's happy."

"And what about you? Are you happy?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah."

Sandra closed the closet door. "Good. So what's going on with you and Jen?"

"Nothing right now. We're just friends," he said.

Sandra laughed and hugged him again. "You could never be just friends with her. That's close to impossible for the two of you."

"I know," he said, smiling.

"Give it time." They started heading back towards the kitchen. "Your father called about you the other day."

Roger stopped and rolled his eyes. "What for?"

"I don't know. He wanted to see how you were."

"Is he coming here tonight?"

Sandra shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Okay."

As they entered the kitchen, Jerry was washing his hands over the sink. He turned around and smiled at Roger and Sandra before drying his hands with a paper towel.

"Jerry, look who's here!" Sandra smiled, noticing the look on Roger's face.

"It's good to see you Roger," Jerry said, giving him a hug. "Welcome home." 

"Thanks," Roger added, looking back at his mom. Jerry and Sandra walked out into the dining room shortly after, and Jen came back in.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine."

"Kids! Dinner!" Linda called out.

"Ooh time to mingle," Jen laughed, grabbing his arm. "Let's go Morris."

Roger stopped and looked at her. "What did you just call me?"

"Morris."

"You still remember that?"

"Of course I do. Don't you?" she said, laughing.

Roger rolled his eyes, pushing her towards the dining room. "Go Screech."

"Dork."

"Wow, that hurt right here," he said, placing a hand over his heart. "Pathetic."

"The only thing that's pathetic is you in bed," she said, cracking up at the look on his face. 

"You've lost all speaking privileges for the weekend," he joked, picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder.

"ROGER! PUT ME DOWN!" she shouted, laughing as he carried her all the way into the dining room.

"Oh for Christ Sakes Roger, put Jen down," Linda said, laughing as she carried in a pot of stuffing.

"Sorry grandma." Roger complied and took a seat in the middle of the table. Jen sat on the other side of him as Joey filed in on the opposite. Annie walked in and whistled loudly, trying to get everyone's attention. 

"Okay, everybody sit down and shut up for a minute," she said loudly.

"My god Mom, it's Thanksgiving, I'm hungry."

"Kyle!"

Everyone laughed and looked up at Annie. "First of all, I'd like to welcome Roger home—"

"Bring out the booze!" Jimmy hollered, clapping loudly. "He'll need it by the end of the night!"

"Do the chicks come with it?" Joey added.

"You're such a pervert, Joey," Lindsey added, smacking him on the side of his head.

"EVERYONE QUIET DOWN!" Doug boomed. Silence fell over the table. "Let your aunt talk," he added, smiling.

"Like I was saying, I'd like you all to be nice to Jen too. Roger's part of the family, you can be mean to him all you want," she added, laughing and giving Roger a hug from behind.

"Anyway," Sandra picked up. "I don't remember who you know and don't know, Jen, so let me just do a big introduction. At the head of the table is my dad, Doug, and next to him is my mom, Linda. Next to Linda is Jimmy and his wife Kim, then Lindsey and her boyfriend Rich. Across from Lindsey is Joey—" She shot Joey a reprimanding look. "Now then let's see…you know my sister Annie and her husband Russ. Their son Kyle is next to Joey over here, and that's my husband Jerry."

Jen nodded and waved at everyone, who all said his or her hellos. 

"Did you put the kids down okay Kim? Lindsey?" Linda asked, bringing two wine bottles up from the cabinet by the window. Jimmy started passing out the beer at the same time.

"Double or nothing, little bro," he warned.

"You're on," Roger laughed, popping the top off of his beer.

"Aidan has a cold, so he should be out for the next few hours," Kim replied, as Jimmy poured her a glass of wine. "I think the terrible twos are almost over."

"Oh isn't that just so sweet," Joey said, batting his eyelashes. Kim laughed and threw a dinner roll at him, which was intercepted by Kyle, who instead of throwing it back, bit into it. Sandra rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Jerry. 

"Cory's at my parents, so he should be pretty much entertained for the day," she added, taking a sip of the wine as Kyle grinned evilly at her from the other end of the table, waving the dinner roll.

"And Marissa's down for her nap," Lindsey added.

"All right then, let's eat!" 

_______________________________________________________________________

"Okay, so one day, a little boy writes to Santa Claus, 'Please send me a sister.'" Joey took a sip of his beer and continued.

"How about you slow down on the beer son," Doug added, pouring some gravy on his own turkey.

"He's 21 now. Let him drink himself silly. It'll teach him a lesson," Sandra laughed.

"Anyway, so Santa wrote him back saying, 'Ok, now send me your mother.'"

Everyone looked at him funny until Lindsey started laughing a little bit, mocking him. 

"Dude, you suck at telling jokes. I've got a better one." Jimmy called out, his arm wrapped around Kim's chair.

Roger laughed and looked at Jen, who was eating a little bit of the salad.

"Your momma is so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor asked which end!" Jimmy shouted out, as Joey and Kyle high fived each other and started cracking up.

Annie shook her head and started laughing as well, passing the potatoes down to Jen. "Are you sure you both aren't hungry?"

"Yeah, we just ate at Mark's," Jen answered as Roger shrugged and spooned some potatoes onto his plate.

"So what do you do now Jen?" Sandra asked, sipping her wine.

"Hey Lindsey, have you heard about the new mint flavored birth control pills you take right before sex?" Kyle asked, turning his heard towards her.

"Huh? No, why?" she asked, taking a bite of the turkey.

"They're called Predickamints!" he said, smiling.

"Kyle!" Russ shouted, trying to hold back his laughter.

Everyone—including Roger's grandparents, were cracking up by then.

"Okay, how about we take a breather from the jokes, boys," Sandra said. "So what were you saying Jen?"

"Oh, well I finished my degree at Quinnipiac after Abby was born and work for a fashion and celebrity magazine in the city now. It's good for me, because I basically just get an assignment and have a few days to work on it from home, this way I can spend more time with Abby and not have her stuck with a sitter all the time."

"That sounds interesting. Is it a monthly or weekly publication?"

"Weekly. Kind of like _People_ or _US Weekly_. So basically it goes to press every nine days."

"I love those magazines," Linda chimed in. "So sleazy. Who's showed the most of what this week, Jen?"

  
Jen laughed and shrugged. "That's not my department," she said, laughing.

"Are you all up for the annual Davis family flag football game in the backyard tomorrow boys?" Doug asked.

"Hell yeah," Joey called out. "We're gonna kick your asses." He popped the top off his second beer.

"Yeah right." Jimmy laughed, rolling his eyes.

"What's the line up this year?" Annie asked, passing the cranberry sauce to Sandra.

"I've got…Lindsey, Russ, Roger, and Jen," Jimmy said, glancing down the table.

"Dude, who said you get Roger?" Kyle called out, giving Jimmy the finger.

"Nobody was talking to you," Lindsey added, laughing.

Roger shrugged. "You guys don't have to fight over me. I'd rather be on Jimmy's team anyway."

"Yeah, because Jen's on it," Kyle added, smirking.

"So what?" Jen asked, sipping her wine.

"No, because you really do suck Joey." Roger laughed, taking a piece of bread out of the basket.

"Whatever. I've got Kim, Rich, Jerry, and Kyle. We're still beating your asses," Joey added. "It's on tomorrow."

"Who's the ref?" Lindsey asked.

"I am," Doug added, pulling a whistle from out of his pocket.

"Grandpa's ref. Now you're all really going down," Joey said, high fiving Jerry over the table.

"I guess we better get the first aid kits ready," Sandra said, laughing.

"Good to know my nursing training's really going to come into play tomorrow," Annie replied, shrugging as she passed the olives down the table.

___________________________________________________________________________

"I don't remember any of our football games being that cold," Jen said, rubbing her hands together and waiting for Roger to open the door.

"Because they weren't, and you had me to huddle up against," he said, finally getting the door open, turning back to grin at her. "I think everyone's sleeping. It's after 11."

Jen shrugged and took of her coat, hanging it up in the closet. "Or maybe not," she smiled, as Sandra and Jerry came out of the kitchen.

"Hey guys. How was the game?"

"It was good. We won 21-0," Roger answered, hanging up his jacket next to Jen's. "Everyone still here?"

Sandra shook her head, taking a sip from her cup of coffee. "Jimmy and Kim left right after you did to take Aidan home and get Cory from her parents. Lindsey and Rich went back to their place with Marissa. Joey's either passed out in the basement with Kyle or they're watching the end of the football game. Annie and Russ went home, and your grandparents are asleep upstairs."

"Okay."

"I put sheets on your bed and added extra blankets to it."

"Thanks Mom," he said, as she gave him a quick hug and a kiss.

"Well, goodnight both of you. Sleep well," she added, following Jerry up the stairs.

"Night Mom."

"Night Mrs. Davis, Jerry."

Roger walked down the hall to his room, Jen following close behind. He flicked on the lights and yawned. "I'm beat."

"Me too."

"You can have the bed, I'll take the couch," he said.

"Forget it. We can both fit in it. I'm not making you sleep on the couch," she said, pulling her tank top and pajama pants out of the duffel bag. Roger watched her carefully, even though he had tucked the pills on the very bottom and her clothes were on top of his.

When she came back out of the bathroom five minutes later, Roger was already sprawled out underneath the sheets. She flipped the switch and turned the lights off. "Move over," she said, sliding in next to him. "Night," she yawned.

"Night," he said. She was asleep within five minutes, and soon enough, Roger was too.

__________________________________________________________________

Jen opened her eyes, squinting as the sunlight streamed through the windows. She looked over and noticed that it Roger wasn't in bed and checked the clock. 10 AM. She couldn't remember the last time she had ever slept until 10. She was usually up by 8, maybe 9 latest, with Abby. She had just sat up when Roger walked into the room, fully dressed and rubbing his hair with a towel.

"Hey," He greeted, throwing the wet towel at her. "Sleep well?"

"Did I ever. I can't remember the last time I ever slept this late." She made a face and threw the towel back at him before standing up.

"Yeah, come to think of it, neither can I. Mark makes too much noise, and by this time people just keep showing up at our place non stop."

Jen smiled. "Aww, Marky keeping you up too late?" she teased, ruffling his hair as she walked by. "I'm taking a shower. Go get your game face on."

__________________________________________________________________

Half an hour later, Jen and Roger entered the kitchen to find Sandra and Annie hovering over the stove, flipping pancakes.

"Ya think you could get up any later?" Jimmy teased. Kim was sitting on his lap, eating a piece of toast. 

"Fuck off," Roger said, taking a seat next to him at the table, Jen on the opposite side. 

"Roger!" Linda scolded, setting a plate of pancakes in front of both him and Jen.

"Sorry grandma."

Lindsey walked in a minute later with Rich and Joey, Kyle behind them. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, she had an old jersey on, and was wearing sweatpants, one pant leg up higher then the other. Joey pretty much matched her, except he had a black bandanna tied over his messy blonde spikes. Both were sporting black lines under their eyes.

"DEFENSE!" Kyle shouted.

"YOU KNOW!" Lindsey and Joey added, laughing.

Jimmy rolled his eyes as Rich threw him, Roger, and Jen old jerseys.

"Are you sure that's all you want to eat sweetie?" Sandra asked, motioning to the two pieces of toast on Kim's place. 

Kim looked down and blushed. "Oh, yeah," she said, smiling.

"Geez, you're eating like you're pregnant or something," Joey said, sitting on the edge of the table and biting into an apple.

Jimmy and Kim looked at each other and laughed, grinning at everyone.

"Well actually, we were saving this for tonight, but because some people have big mouths," Jimmy adding, shooting Joey a look.

"Well that runs in the family," Annie added.

"We're Italian, what do you expect? " Linda said.

"What? Hey, I was only kidding."

"Oh my god!" Sandra said, running over and giving Kim a huge hug.

"Yeah, I'm pregnant. Again. Surprise!" she blurted out, as Annie and Linda hugged her at the same time.

"How far along are you?" Jen asked, pouring some syrup on her pancakes.

"Nine weeks as of the 23rd.  A little over two months," Kim answered, finishing her toast. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Linda added, rinsing out the pancake bowls in the sink.

Kim shrugged. "We wanted to make sure before we said anything. I'm going to the doctor on Monday for an ultrasound to hear the heartbeat and everything."

"Cool," Kyle said, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and taking a sip right out of the carton. 

"Kyle Harper! We're not at home!" Annie yelled.

"Oh. Sorry Aunt Sandy," Kyle apologized, shrugging. Sandra laughed and started drying the dishes in the dish rack.

"Are we getting this game started or what?" Doug asked, walking into the kitchen with Jerry and Russ.

"Now that Kim's knocked up, she can't exactly play, so we're one person short," Joey said.

"What? Kim's pregnant?" Doug asked, looking right at Jimmy. "Jesus Jimmy."

Everyone laughed at this. "Sorry grandpa. Shit happens," he said, as Kim rolled her eyes.

"When's the baby due?" Jerry asked, giving Sandra a kiss on the cheek as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"July 15th," Kim responded. "I'll be huge for the 4th of July barbeque."

"Dude, can we play now?" Joey added. 

________________________________________________________________

"Alright, now I want a nice, clean game," Doug said, walking into the middle of the backyard. Jimmy, Lindsey, Russ, Roger, and Jen were on his right side, and Joey, Rich, Jerry, and Kyle were on his left. "That means you too Joseph. No depantsing your brothers, and Jimmy, no wet willies. Captains, step out and get ready to call the coin toss." Jimmy and Joey stepped forward, Jimmy calling heads and Joey tails. 

Doug flipped the coin and it landed in the grass. "It's tails. Joey, take it away."

"Okay. Rich is going to take the ball, and we get the goal near the pool. You guys defend for the first half."

Linda, Annie, Sandra, and Kim were sitting on the porch, drinking coffee and handling the kids. Cory was sitting on Kim's lap, Marissa on Sandra's, and Aidan was inside taking a nap.

"Anyway. The game runs for two twenty minutes halves, and a three-minute break in between. Blah blah blah, you know the deal, let's play ball." He stepped out and blew his whistle.

By the end of the first half, Joey and Roger had scored 4 times each, Jerry twice, and Lindsey once, bringing the score 48-30, Joey's team leading. Doug had called five penalties, twice for Joey, who had tried to distract Jimmy, then Roger, by pointing in the opposite direction like an idiot. Lindsey had tried and succeeded in depantsing Roger, Russ had made an illegal snap, and Jen for trying to hold Joey's arms behind his back while Roger swiped the ball.

Half an hour later, the game was completely over, with Joey's team winning 84-60. After he and Kyle made several victory laps, everyone either collapsed or went back into the house. Jen was sitting on the ground, pulling her sneakers off, when Roger came and grabbed her hands, pulling her up.

"You okay?" he asked, as they walked towards the house.

"Fine. My ankle kind of hurts, but I'm fine."

Roger sat down on the steps and pulled off his jersey, pulling Jen down next to him.

"What?" she asked, noticing him staring at her as she pulled her hair up into a loose twist.

"Nothing."

"Seriously, what?" she asked.

"I don't know."

She rolled her eyes and tried to stand up, but Roger pulled her back down. "What? You're so—" She was cut off as he kissed her, first lightly, but when she didn't pull away, he deepened it. She finally did pull away and stood up, opened the door, and walked inside.

"Jen!" he shouted, calling after her. "Fuck."

_____________________________________________________________


	5. Shimmying Down the Drainpipe

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 5

Hugs to Kelby and elodie again. You guys are awesome. 33

"Jen?"

Roger made his way over to his bed and stuck his head out the window. She was sitting on the roof, her chin resting on her knees.

"Yeah?" she answered, tilting her head to look at him. 

"It's cold out. What are you doing sitting on the roof?" He pulled his body through the window, shutting it behind him. 

"I don't know. Reminiscing?" she suggested, shrugging her shoulders. He sat down next to her, glancing over the edge of the roof.

"I forgot how high it was up here," he said. "I'm sorry about before—"

Jen looked at her feet. "Yeah. It's okay."

Roger sighed and placed his hand on Jen's hip, pulling her closer to him. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," he laughed. "I didn't think the kiss would upset you that much."

Jen shifted over and rested her head on his shoulder. "It wasn't that."

"Then what was it?"

"I don't know really. You hadn't kissed me like that in over three years—and even towards the end, when you were getting bad—before I left, you never kissed me like that. But when you did kiss me, it was without feeling—kind of empty," she said quietly. "It just felt weird to be kissed by you after so long, but it was the right type of kiss—at least it felt right to me. It wasn't empty anymore."

"Oh." 

"Sorry, did I confuse you?" she said, smiling at the look on his face.

"No. I know I was bad back then." He looked over at her. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty," she added.

"You didn't."

They were silent for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. "Roger?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to do about us?"

"Oh. Well what do you want to do?"

"I asked you first," she stated, grinning at him.

"What are we, in first grade?" he laughed, as the wind started picking up and blowing the old leaves across the roof. "I didn't just kiss you for the hell of it, you know."

"Roger Davis, the intellectual," she joked. "So we could do one of two things. We could stay friends and share custody of Abby, or we could take things slow and see where we end up."

"Take things slow and see where we end up," he blurted out quickly. Jen burst out into laughter when he said that.

"You don't hesitate, do you?" she added.

"Well no, depending on what it is."

"Pervert."

"Hey! I wasn't even talking about that!" he laughed, defending himself. 

"Uh huh. Sure," he said. "So can I do it again?"

"Do what again?"

"Kiss you again?"

"Oh god, do you have to?" she teased, rolling her eyes as Roger wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "Not bad," she said, kissing him back.

"What can I say? I'm skilled." He stood up, pulling her up with him. "Let's go inside. It's fucking cold out here."

"Thank you, captain obvious." 

"Uh. Jen?"

"What?"

"The window's stuck," he said, trying to pull it open.

"Let me try," she said, pushing him out of the way. 

"I don't think you—"

"Shut up," she groaned, trying to pull it open. "Good job. When you shut it, did you check to see if it was locked?"

"No," he added, sheepishly looking at his foot and then over the edge. "We're gonna have to climb down, because my whole family is in the basement and I doubt they'll hear us yelling."

"Genius. That's like…12 feet," she said, standing near the edge with him. "Are we supposed to shimmy down the drainpipe or something?"

Roger raised an eyebrow at her. "Uh. Maybe."

"I said shimmy down the drainpipe, not shimmy down you," she laughed. 

"Oh ha ha. That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

Jen laughed and shook her head as Roger stole another kiss from her. "Okay, so get moving, blondie."

"Yeah." Roger said, gripping onto the edge and pulling himself over it. He climbed onto the drainpipe, trying to slide down it, and then the whole thing collapsed, resulting in him falling to the ground still attached to the gutter.

"Oh my god! Roger, are you okay?" she shouted after him. "Can you move?"

He winced, standing up. "Yeah. I'm fine. I broke the goddamn gutter though."

"How am I supposed to get down?" she asked. Without the gutter, her only other option was jumping, and that would easily result in a broken leg.

"Um, hold on. Jump," he said, holding out his arms to catch her.

"What?! Are you crazy?"

"No. I'm serious. Just jump. I'll catch you. Ready? One, two three—"

"Roger."

"Just jump Jen," he said.

"Uh, okay," she laughed, walking to the edge. Without looking, she jumped off and landed in Roger's arms, knocking them both to the ground.

"Ugh," he groaned, as she sprawled out on his stomach. "You okay?"

"Yeah. You broke my fall. What a hero," she teased.

"The ground didn't break mine," he groaned, as they both stood up.

____________________________________________________________________

"I wonder where everyone is?" Jen asked, taking off her jacket.

Roger shrugged and walked into the kitchen of the loft, checking for a note of any kind. "They're downstairs. Mark says to call when we get home and he'll bring Abby up."

"Good," Jen laughed. "Because I'm so not walking back downstairs again."

"Lazy."

"Me? Look who's talking. You're the king of lazy," she giggled.

Roger's watch started beeping again, marking 5 PM. "You got me with that one," he said, dragging his bag into his bedroom. He pocketed his pills and headed back into the kitchen with them, as Jen obliviously sat on the couch, on the phone with Mark.

"He's bringing her up right now. I missed her so much," she laughed, placing the phone back on the table. "He claims that she's been asking about you all weekend."

Roger nodded, placing his pill bottle on the counter near the coffee pot. "Really?"

"Yeah. I told you she attaches herself easily."

Just then, the loft door opened and Abby ran in, followed by Mark.

"Mommy!" she screeched, running full force towards Jen. "You're back. Hey, you know what?" she said, as Jen kissed her on the cheek.

"What?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too baby."

"Did you have fun with Roger?" she asked in a singsong voice. "Mommy likes Roger!"

Roger blushed and Jen started laughing. "Okay, what did Mark tell you now?"

Mark laughed. "Nothing, I swear!"

"Were you good for Mark, Maureen, Joanne, and Collins?" Jen asked, as Abby scooted into her lap.

"Yup. We went to the Life Café again and had fun. The waiter was mean though. He kept saying stuff like "Not tonight please!" and "Oh no!" she giggled.

Jen raised an eyebrow at Mark, who shrugged.

"It happens a lot," Roger said. "The waiter hates us."

"Then I slept at Maureen's, and she did my hair just like hers. She took pictures too, and she said we can have them when they get devel—"

"Developed," Jen corrected. "Good, I can't wait to see them."

"And then the next day Mark took me to the park, and Collins took me to see the big Christmas tree. Then we watched movies. Marky likes **The Little Mermaid**," she said, pointing a finger at him.

"Whoa Mark, she's really ragging on you tonight," Roger laughed. "I didn't know you were into the Disney classics."

"Maureen had a copy."

"Uh huh. Yeah sure. You know you'd want to bang Ariel anytime." Jen gave him a disapproving look and pointed to Abby. "Oh. Sorry."

"Then I stayed here, and Mark and Collins made me chocolate chip pancakes. Mark burned the first batch. They were gross."

Jen and Roger started cracking up as Mark turned red. "Hey, I never said I was a chef, Abby."

Abby shrugged. "It's okay Mark. I still love you."

"Aww," Roger laughed. "She accepted you!"

"Stuff it, Davis," Mark added, defeated.

"So what did you do this morning baby?" Jen asked.

"Maureen and Joanne took me out to breakfast, and then Joanne had to go out so Maureen made pictures with me."

"Awesome."

"Yup." Abby hopped off Jen's lap and walked over to Roger, opening her arms. "Hey Roger, I missed you. Hug?"

"Sure." Roger bent down and gave her hug, looking back at Jen the whole time.

"What's for dinner Jen?" Mark asked.

"Excuse me?" Jen laughed, as Abby climbed onto a barstool with Roger's help.

"Yeah Jen, what's for dinner?" Roger whined, mocking Mark. "You want some juice Abby?"

"I'd make chicken parm, but we have no chicken," she said.

"Chicken parm?" Roger asked, pouring some orange juice in a small glass. "Man, I love chicken parm."

"Looks like you just got suckered into going to the store," Mark laughed, as Jen whacked him in the side. 

"Thanks," Abby said, drinking out of the glass.

"No problem," Roger added, slipping the juice back in the fridge.

"Good, because you just got suckered into going with me, ass," Jen responded, jumping onto his back. "Onward ho, Marky!"

_____________________________________________________________

"Do we need anything else?"

Mark looked around and shrugged. "Nah, I think we're good. I haven't had chicken parm in so long. Mrs. Davis makes the best chicken parm ever."

"Oh yeah? Just wait until you try mine. Family recipe and all," she laughed, taking things out and placing them on the conveyor belt. "We have hair dye, right?"

Mark nodded and fished through the basket. "Yup. Right here. Roger needs to fix up his roots?"

"Something like that, and I told him I'd do it for him."

"So how was the weekend?"

"The weekend was good. How was yours?" she teased. "No, but seriously, I almost forgot how much fun Roger's family was until I spent a few days there. I had a good time."

"How much of a good time?" he winked. Jen paid for the groceries and handed one bag to Mark, already halfway through the door.

"He kissed me. Happy now? God, you're like the gossip whore around here," she laughed.

"Hey, I was just asking."

"Uh huh."

"And?"

"No, we didn't end up sleeping together, although I'm sure that would have made your little heart go pitter patter," she laughed as he playfully shoved her on the sidewalk.

"So are you moving in with us?"

Jen shrugged, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I don't know. My rent's too high and I'm not going to be able to stay there with Christmas coming up and everything. The expenses are going to be out of the roof."

"Move in with us. Problem solved. You and Roger can obviously share a room, I have my room, and Abby can take the spare bedroom, because she'll have a bed, right?"

"Yup, I'm not leaving her bed at the place, so that could work."

"There. That's the end of it. You're moving in with us."

"Sure, but then there's the matter of actually packing everything and getting it over here. And believe me, I have a lot of shit to pack. Plus my furniture."

"We could remodel?" he suggested, fishing around in his pocket for the key. He shoved it in the door and opened it, letting Jen in first before shutting it behind them.

"Yeah."

"Hey, look," Mark whispered, setting the groceries on the counter. Roger was asleep on the couch, Abby curled up on his chest. "How cute is that?"

"Cute enough for you to get it on film. Go," she whispered, starting to pull the groceries quietly out of the bag.

Mark pulled out his camera and started narrating as Jen fired up the stove and started preparing the chicken parm.

"November 29th , 7 PM Eastern Standard Time. Roger and Abby are out like last year's Prada shoes…"

"I heard that, you shitface," Roger said groggily, flipping him off, but at the same time, trying not to wake Abby.

Mark turned the camera on himself and shook his head. "You see the terms of loving endearment that float around here?" he said sarcastically before shutting the camera off.

"Hey Jen, should I wake up Abby?" Roger asked.

Jen shook her head. "Nah, just pick her up and put her in Mark's office or your room. She could use a nap."

"All right," he added, scooping Abby up gently and carrying her into his bedroom.

_____________________________________________________________________

"Mark asleep?" Jen asked, walking out of the bathroom, brushing her wet hair.

Roger nodded and scooted over, giving her some room on the couch. "Yeah. He's gotta get up for work tomorrow."

"Abby still asleep?"

"She's out. Snoring too."

Jen laughed and rested her head on Roger's shoulder, as he wrapped his arm lightly around her waist. "She definitely inherited that from you. What are you doing?"

Roger laughed, shrugged and closed the notebook. "Trying to write song lyrics."

"No luck?"

"Kind of. Can't really think straight."

Jen yawned and nodded. "You wanna come with me when I drop Abby off at daycare tomorrow?"

"Sure. How long is she gone for?"

"She goes from 9 to 12:30, and then I usually pick her up on my lunch hour and bring her to the sitter on the days I have to go into the office. But tomorrow I'll just bring her back here. She'll fall asleep and be out for at least another good three or four hours."

"So we have some time to ourselves?"

"Yeah. What do you have in mind?" she laughed, as he kissed her.

"Oh, I don't know. We'll think of something."

"I'm sure we will. C'mon, I'm tired, and I've got dibs on your bed," she said, standing up and heading towards his bedroom.

"Okay," he yawned, turning off the TV and following her. "I need to talk to you about something tomorrow."

"Uh huh," she said, pulling a t-shirt on over her tank top and pajama pants. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped in next to her, turning off the light and setting the alarm.

"What time?"

"8. She'll probably get me up before then."

He punched in the numbers and set it back on the nightstand as Jen cuddled up against him, her head resting on his chest.

"Night," she said, kissing him before closing her eyes.

"Night."

_________________________________________________________________________


	6. Well Hung Sex God

November

Chapter 6

_________________________________________________________________________

"Mom?"

"Yeah baby?" Jen yawned, making her way into the kitchen. Mark and Roger were still asleep, and Abby had just woken her up.

"Can I have Cap'n Crunch for breakfast?" she asked, pulling herself onto the couch. 

"Sure sweetie. Just watch _Sesame Street_ for me right now and I'll get you some," she answered, turning the lights on in the kitchen. 

"Kay." Jen opened the cabinet and poured a small amount of the cereal into the bowl, added some milk to it, and brought it back over to Abby, setting it in her lap. "Be careful. Don't spill it all over the couch."

"Yup."

Jen yawned again and walked back into the kitchen, trying to figure out how to reset the coffeemaker. She pulled the plug out and replugged it back in, hoping that alone would have some effect on it, knocking over an orange pill bottle in the process.

"Fuck." She picked it up, glancing quickly at the label.

ROGER DAVIS

Azidiothymidine (AZT)

She did a double take and stared at it. Roger had HIV? She placed the bottle back on the counter and stared at it, biting her lip. Then it all made sense. The heroin. The visits to the doctor all the time. How could she have been so stupid not to think that something like this could never happen? She'd come back because she needed him, and now he was going to die on her and Abby? Oh god, Abby. How was she supposed to explain to Abby when her daddy eventually gets too sick to get out of bed? Suddenly Jen wished that she didn't have parents that were doctors, because maybe she would be a little out of the loop and pretend that it was just a regular old prescription. 

She looked over at the couch, where Roger had just gotten up and was sitting next to Abby, laughing and tickling her.

"Mommy, Roger's up!" Abby called, giggling.

"Be there in a minute," Jen said, pulling open the fridge and getting herself a glass of juice. She set the juice on the counter and slumped against the cabinets, blocking herself from Abby and Roger's view. 

And then, before she knew it, she was crying. She didn't want to and she knew she shouldn't, but once she started she couldn't stop. 

"Mommy, I said Roger's up! Come on!" 

"I said I'd be there in a minute," Jen said, more harshly then she had intended to.

Roger looked up when he noticed the tone in Jen's voice. "Hey Abby, why don't you go see if Mark's up yet? I'm gonna go talk to your mom for a minute."

Abby shrugged and slid off the couch. "But Mom's only getting juice—"

"Go wake Marky up, okay?" he repeated. Abby nodded and took off, her blonde hair bouncing over her shoulders.

Roger walked into the kitchen. "Jen?"

"Yep," she answered. He walked past the island and found her curled up against the cabinets, her head resting on her knees. He also noticed the pill bottle clutched in her hand, and her shoulders shaking.

"Oh god Jen, I'm sorry," he said, sliding next to her and pulling her against him. "I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around her as she cried into his shoulder. "I didn't want you to find out that way."

Jen sniffled, nodding into his chest. "How long have you known?"

Roger sighed and started stroking her hair. "I've been positive for almost 3 years now. 3 years in May."

This only made her sob harder, and as she tried to gulp for air, Roger pulled her into his lap and started rocking her back and forth. "Why?" she whispered, staring at the kitchen tile. "Why you? I know that's so incredibly selfish, but why?"

Roger kissed her forehead. "I don't know baby. I don't know. I made some fucked up mistakes."

"Mommy?" Abby called, rounding the corner of the cabinets. She stood there, her tiny arms resting on her hips, eyes wide. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

Roger looked up at Mark, who was standing behind Abby, a worried expression stretched across his face. He nodded his head, and Mark understood. Jen knew.

"Nothing baby. I'm just a little upset right now," she whispered, smiling at her a little. 

"Oh."

"Hey, how about we go downstairs and see what Collins is up to? Then Mom and Da—Roger are going to take you to daycare," he added, catching himself in midsentence.

"I'll see you in a little bit sweetie," Jen said. Abby nodded and waved.

"I'm sorry," Roger repeated. "I should have told you. I feel like a fucking ass for leaving them out. I usually stash them in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom but I fucking forgot, and you found them, and now everything's fucked up. I seriously understand if you don't want to be with me because I'm positive and everything."

Jen shook her head and stood up, putting the juice back in the fridge. "Jesus Christ Roger, how could you ever think that? That I wouldn't want to be with you because of **that**? You have to come up with something better to send me packing," she laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

He stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach. "Okay. Good."

"So um, how's your T cell count?" she asked, resting her head against his chest.

"It's good. My doctor lowered my dosage back in June. I'm doing good."

She nodded. "Thank god."

"Yeah." He kissed her, rubbing her back at the same time. "I'm okay. Really. Are you? I thought you were gonna get psycho on me for a minute there," he laughed, as she punched him in the stomach playfully.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Jen walked into the living room, picking up Abby's cereal bowl and dumping the leftover milk in the sink. 

He ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. "Honestly, you were the only person that ever stood up to me. Like Mark, he's a pushover."

"Oh, nice thing to say about your best friend," she smiled, rolling her eyes.

Roger laughed. "And Collins never really intervened. But you always dished it out like it was, and when I pissed you off you'd fucking go off on me and put me in my place. You wouldn't be afraid to do it, or afraid of me for that matter."

"You're not a scary person."

Roger grinned. "Oh yeah?"

"You're threatening. There's a difference. Probably has something to do with you being 10 inches taller than me and the rest of the population of the city."

"I like being over six feet tall. It works for me. You're just short. How tall are you again?"

"Five-five," she said, grumbling.

"Don't forget that your boyfriend can get you in all the clubs around the city. I know people," he joked.

Jen looked up at him. He had just said it. Boyfriend. In a way it scared her, but in the other—she felt entirely comfortable with him. "Oh yeah, Mr. Well Hung over here. Well Hung my ass."

"Whoa, don't knock it. We were a perfect fit."

Jen laughed and stared at him. "Ew. Great thanks, now I don't want my toast," she said, tossing it at him. 

"Thanks," he said, intercepting it and finishing it off.

Jen took a sip of her juice. "Question."

"Shoot."

"Can we…you know? Since you're positive? I mean, what did your doctor say?"

Roger started laughing, and picked her up. "You mean can I stick it in you? Do you want it now?" he asked, starting to tickle her.

"Roger!" she giggled, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

"Yeah. We can. As long as we use condoms we're okay. And this comes from the girl who's parents are both doctors," he laughed.

"Don't make fun of me. Sorry, I guess that was kind of a stupid question," she added.

He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. Was that for future reference?"

Jen glanced at him mischievously. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'll guess you'll just have to wait and see," she teased.

"That's it." Roger started tickling her again.

"ROGER! Put me down! You're gonna drop me on my fucking head!" she yelled.

"Not until you say it."

"Say what?"

"Roger Davis is a well hung sex god."

"No." 

Her answer only made Roger tickle her harder. "Say it." When he reached for her feet, Jen started begging him to stop.

"Okay okay. Roger Davis is a well hung sex god. Now put me down!" she laughed, as he set her back on her feet. She walked back into the kitchen and checked the clock. 8:40 AM. "Shit."

"What?"

"Get changed and get your coat. I've gotta get Abby to daycare by 9," she said, stripping off her t-shirt halfway across the living room.

"Oh yeah. Right."

________________________________________________________________________

"I really don't want to get the door," he grouched, running his hand up and down her side. "Because that requires me to get up and move."

Jen laughed, stretching out on his lap some more. Roger pulled the ratty flannel blanket closer around them and switched the channel, hoping for something else besides commercials for once.

"You could hope that whoever it is has a key?"

"Ho ho ho, it's your favorite landlord," Benny chimed, opening the door and grinning broadly. A very pregnant Alison shuffled in behind him, her hand linked through his. "And I'm not here to collect the rent!"

"Oh fuck me," Roger whispered into her ear.

"Behave," she warned. "Hey Benny." She climbed off of Roger and stood up.

"I heard Collins say you were back, but I had to come back and see for myself," he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You look great."

"Thanks," she said, as Roger came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

"You remember my wife Alison?" he asked. Alison smiled and extended her hand.

"Vaguely," Jen replied. "But it's nice to meet you."

Alison smiled and placed a hand on her stomach. "Nice to meet you too," she laughed. 

"So when's the baby due?" Roger asked, shaking hands with Benny briefly.

"Two days ago. I think this kid is contemplating a permanent home inside my stomach," she groaned. She walked over to the kitchen and set herself on a barstool. "Sorry, I just really had to sit down. Benny thinks that walking up and down four flights of stairs is going to move this kid along for some reason."

"No problem," Roger answered.

"Hey, how come we weren't invited to the party?" Maureen whined, stepping into the loft with Collins.

"Because there really isn't a party Mo," Roger said, taking a bagel out of the bag that Collins was holding.

"Oh my god Alison, you look huge!" Maureen added. Collins shot her a look and she bit her lip. "I mean—well, you know what I mean."

Alison laughed. "No, it's fine. I've been getting it from everyone. I just wish this kid would come out already. My back has been killing me lately."

Collins placed the bagels in the kitchen and handed one to Alison. "Hungry?"

"Famished," she laughed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"So what are you having?" Jen asked, taking a seat on Roger's lap again.

"A boy," Benny grinned.

"Any names picked out?" 

Alison nodded. "A few. Haven't really made up my mind yet. It's either going to be Trevor or Jesse."

"At least that'll give you something to do when you're in labor," Maureen added sympathetically.

"Don't be a hero. Go for the epidural," Jen added. "I was in labor with Abby for 20 hours, and I was in love with the epidural." She looked back at Roger, who had his chin resting on her shoulder.

Alison glanced up at her. "20 hours? You've gotta be kidding me. Jesus, I hope I don't hold out that long."

"First births are always longer."

Benny helped Alison off of the barstool, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Well we've gotta get going. Alison has another appointment in an hour, and hopefully he'll either induce her or tell us what we can do to get this kid out faster."

Alison grinned. "We'll be sure to call if something happens," she added, as Collins gave her a hug. "Bye guys."

Collins shut the door after them and grabbed his coat, putting it back on. "I'm off too. Class at 12.  I'll see you later for dinner. The Life?"

"Sure," Roger added. 

"See ya," Jen added. "Thanks for breakfast."

"No problem. You game Mo?"

Maureen nodded and slipped on her coat. "I'm meeting Joanne for lunch so I'll see you guys tonight."

Roger yawned as Jen waved. "I thought they'd never leave." 

  
"Neither did I. Mark's getting Abby from daycare, so I think I'm gonna run over to my place and start packing up my shit. Wanna come?"

Roger nodded and grabbed his jacket, throwing hers to her as well. "Subway?"

"No, we're walking," she laughed as he kissed her neck.

"Nobody likes a smart ass."

"Huh. Then I guess nobody likes you, Davis."

____________________________________________________________________

"Where do you want the towels?" Roger asked. His head was lodged in the linen closet as he tried to grab a stack of towels and washcloths from the top shelf.

Jen stuck her head around the corner, a box marked 'Bathroom' in her hands. "Um, just stick them in with the sheets and pillowcases. Here. Label it." She threw him a black Sharpie.

"Okay." 

Jen stepped over him and placed the box in the living room. They had done a pretty good job—remarkable for the short time they had been in her apartment. Abby's bedroom was completely packed up, and the only items left were Abby's bed and her two dressers. 

"How do you want to get over to my place?" he asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Um, we could use my car and take Abby's shit over today. Then I'll probably hire someone to get the beds, dressers, washer, dryer…and the huge entertainment center over there."

"Nah, don't do that. I can get the guys from my band to do it."

"I think you should ask them before you go ahead and tell them that they have plans to move pieces of very heavy furniture up four flights of stairs," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'll just hire movers."

"Whatever you want," he added. "Your mom called before."

"She did? When?"

"When you were packing up Abby's room before. She told me to tell you that she and your dad want to take Abby to Boston for the weekend. From Thursday to Sunday morning, I think," he added.

"Probably to make up for them both not being home Thanksgiving weekend," she said, rolling her eyes. "Did she actually remember who you were?"

Roger laughed. "Kind of. She wanted to know if I was still in that band or whatever, and what I was still doing with you."

"Jesus, I'm sorry. My mom's a snob sometimes," Jen groaned, kicking a few boxes to the side.  "Most of the time."

"Nah, it's okay. She doesn't know that Abby's…?"

"Yours?" Jen nodded. "She knows. I told her. Why, she didn't make some comment did she?"

"No, I was just wondering," he said, kissing her forehead. 

Jen nodded. "Go in the bottom drawer of the cabinet, right side of the TV."

"Why?"

"Just do it," she laughed, pushing him towards the TV. "See what you find."

Roger crouched in front of the drawer and pulled it open. What he found, however, was a different story. There was a whole row of tapes, marked with such names as "Abby's first Christmas" and "Abby's 2nd Birthday". "Home videos?"

"Mark would be proud."

"Probably. I want to shove that camera up his ass 90 percent of the time." He kept looking, and at the very back, there was a tape labeled 'Abby's birth'. 

"What about the other 10 percent?"

"I stash it away somewhere so he can't find it," he laughed, pulling the tape out and handing it to her. "You taped her birth?"

"My friend Michelle did. That's the ultimate blackmail tape. I look like shit and I'm screaming out about every word you don't want your close family to hear. I think my favorite one was calling the doctor a douche bag—repeatedly. He was a good sport though," she laughed. "Said he's heard worse."

Roger grinned. "Can I watch it sometime?"

"Sure. Put them in the box by the door and I'll remember to put them in my car."

She walked away and into the kitchen, where she started deleting her messages on her answering machine. 

"Do you want your laptop too?" he called over.

"Yeah," she answered. 

"Hey Jen?"

She looked back as she exited the kitchen and started walking down the hall. "Yeah?" she asked, shifting the box she was carrying higher in her arms.

"I missed you. I don't know if I ever told you that—but I really missed you when you were gone."

She smiled at this. "I missed you too Rog."

_______________________________________________________________________


	7. The Gig and Apple Martinis

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 7

*Thanks Kelby, elodie, Eponine54, Daydreamer731, and Alisson for the reviews.

And elodie: yep, I've seen the pics of Adam as the emcee in Cabaret. *squeals* ohh man. 

Coughing.

Roger sat up in bed and looked around, eyes scanning his dark room. It was close to four in the morning, and it didn't take him long to notice that Jen wasn't in bed anymore. 

There it was again—that coughing sound. He hated it. When Mimi was getting bad towards the end, she was always coughing nonstop, even when she took her meds. It unnerved him.

He slipped out of bed, pulling on a faded black band t-shirt in the process and opened his door. Walking into the living room, he found Jen on the couch, a box of tissues near her feet and a bottle of Tylenol on the coffee table.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, taking a seat next to her.

Jen smiled weakly and shrugged. "I guess. My chest feels like it's going to explode."

"But you were fine when we were at your apartment before packing," he said, placing his hand on her forehead. "You have a fever."

"No shit?" she grinned, turning her face away from him and coughing into her hand. Roger walked into the bathroom and got the thermometer.

"Open."

Jen did, and he slipped it under her tongue. She rested her head in Roger's lap and pulled it out two minutes later. "Read it."

Roger held it up to the light and checked the numbers. "101.8."

"Ugh." Jen groaned. 

"I'm putting you to bed. You can watch I Love Lucy later," he grinned, picking her up in his arms, blanket and all.

"Is this because you just want to play doctor?" she asked. Roger tucked her under the covers and kissed her forehead.

"No. Not that playing doctor would be a bad thing," he laughed, shutting the lamp off.

"True," she yawned.

"I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow night if you still have a fever."

"Mmhmm." 

________________________________________________________________________

Roger woke up to the sound of giggling the next morning. He opened one eye to find Abby playing with his hair, a big smile on her face. 

"Hi," she greeted. "Sorry I was playing with it."

Roger grinned and grabbed her around the waist, putting her in the middle of the bed. Jen was sound asleep. "That's okay. Marky up yet?"

Abby shrugged. "I dunno. He snores."

Roger laughed. "I know." He checked the clock and realized it was close to 8:30. "Your grandma's coming soon to get you."

"Oh man."

"Oh man?"

"Yeah." 

  
Roger shook his head and helped her off the bed. She climbed onto the barstool and watched Roger as he opened the cabinets, looking for something to eat. "Poptarts or Cap'n Crunch?"

"How about Dunkin Donuts?" Collins asked, slamming the loft door.

"Oooh!" Abby squealed.

"Guess you lost out on that one Rog," he laughed as Abby hugged Collins around his leg.

"Sorry Rog," Abby mimicked, taking a chocolate donut with sprinkles out of the bag. 

Roger handed Collins a cup of coffee and took a seat at the island, Abby right next to him.

"Can I have some of that?" she asked, pointing to Roger's coffee cup. 

Roger shook his head. "Nah. Sorry, you're not old enough. How about hot chocolate instead?"

"I'll get it. You're still on liquid probation." Collins headed towards the cabinet and pulled a box of hot chocolate out.

"Hey, that wasn't intentional, the microwave exploding and all."

Mark shuffled into the kitchen and took a seat across from Roger, grinning. "Not the infamous microwave story."

"Shut the fu-hell-be quiet," Roger finished, laughing.

"Nice parenting," Mark laughed. 

Abby tugged on Roger's arm. "You killed the microwave?"

Roger grinned. "Kind of. Collins had his coffee in there and instead of putting it on 3 minutes, I put it on for 30, and we all forgot about it."

Abby shook her head and took a bite of her donut. "Loser."

Mark high fived Abby over the table. "She called you a loser Rog. Abby one, Roger zero."

Roger flipped him off as Collins chuckled.

"Stop that. You're a bad influence," Mark said.

"So ANYWAY," Roger said, ignoring Mark. "Why are you here so early Collins?"

Collins gripped his chest and pretended to be hurt. "Oh, so now I need a reason to be here so early with you shmucks? Just came by to drop off breakfast and share the news—Alison has been in labor since 2 AM."

"Really?" Mark asked. He added sugar to his coffee and flung the empty packet at Roger. Abby giggled when it hit him square in the forehead. 

"That poor bastard," Roger laughed. "He's probably gonna make his kid pay rent too."

"Don't be cruel," Jen said, yawning and coming into the kitchen. She was carrying a box of tissues and had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"Sorry," Roger grinned sheepishly.

"Morning Mommy. Want some?" Abby asked, waving half of a pop tart.

Jen shook her head and took a seat on the couch. "No thanks baby. I don't feel that great."

"Are you going to work today?" Mark asked.

Jen shook her head and reached for the phone. "I'm going to take the rest of the week off. Well not technically take the week off, but have my boss email me my assignment for the week," she said.

"Okay." Mark took the donut box from Roger, who glared at him.

"I kind of wanted those."

"Oops. Sorry." Mark shoved the donut in his mouth and grabbed his coat. "I'm out of here."

Roger stared at him. "Coming to the gig tonight?"

"Not that I would ever miss it," Mark grinned, disappearing out the door.

Jen covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "I thought the gig was Friday night?" 

"It was, but Wes called and said that Robbie wanted us there tonight to play for the Thursday night crowd," Roger said, taking a sip of his coffee. "I have to bartend at 6."

"Oh. Okay." Jen hung up the phone and walked off into the other room. She was back out fully changed into a shirt and jeans and clutching her laptop two minutes later. She had just plugged it into the phone line when the doorbell buzzed.

"Is that grandma?" Abby asked, climbing off the barstool and running over to the door.

Jen looked up and smiled. "Probably."

Roger stood up to help Abby open the door, and a middle aged woman with light brown hair appeared, dressed in what he assumed was an expensive pantsuit ensemble. "Hi Mrs. Walsh."

She studied him for a moment before responding. "Hello Roger. I see you haven't changed a bit." She bent down to Abby's level and gave her a tight hug. "And how is my beautiful grandbaby?"

"Good."

"Ready to go to Boston?" 

Abby nodded. "Uh huh." Abby ran off to her room and reappeared with her stuffed pink panther and a mini suitcase. "Let's go."

"Hi mom," Jen said, standing up and helping Abby into her black pea coat. "Collins, this is my mom Rebecca. Mom, this is my old friend and professor Tom Collins."

Rebecca stuck out her hand politely, and Collins shook it. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Collins responded, sipping his coffee.

Rebecca turned and surveyed the room. She glanced from kitchen to floor to ceiling to bedrooms—even the bathroom. "I have to say I liked your place much better."

"Mom."

"What? It certainly was nicer, and warmer. I hope Abby doesn't get sick from living here. You look like hell yourself Jenna."

Jen stared at her. "I have a cold."

"Oh. You look like you put some weight on too," she added. 

Roger glared at Rebecca, but Collins shook his head at him. He sighed and crossed his arms out of frustration. Roger remembered how much Jen's mother hassled her in high school—about grades, clothes, her car, her job—everything, but especially her weight. Jen had always been small, and as a senior in high school she was barely a size 3. He could never figure out why her mother ragged on her so much for it—even now he estimated that she was still a size 3, although she had filled out more in places where she was previously tiny.

"Um. Thanks," Jen mumbled. 

"I'd love to stay and chat, but your father's waiting outside in the car. We'll see you Sunday night then." Rebecca gave Jen a quick kiss on the cheek and took Abby's hand in her own.

"Bye sweetie." Jen bent down to give Abby a kiss and a hug, holding the door open for Rebecca.

"Bye Roger. Bye Mom," Abby said. 

"Goodbye Roger," Rebecca added.

"Bye," he said. Jen shut the door and immediately busied herself with her laptop. She curled up onto the couch with it and rested her chin in her hand as she checked her email. Roger stared at her, but Collins cleared his throat.

"I better get going. I'll see you both later tonight at the gig."

"Bye," Jen said unenthusiastically, not even bothering to look up from the screen.

"Later Collins," Roger added. When the door shut again, Roger took a seat next to Jen.

"You okay?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"M'fine," she said quietly, placing her laptop on the coffee table. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Roger nodded. "Oh. Okay. Don't listen to your Mom."

Jen shrugged. "I said I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"I said I'm fine Roger, okay? Just drop it." She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving a puzzled Roger still seated on the couch.

________________________________________________________________________

"Jen? You almost done?" Mark asked, lightly knocking on Roger's bedroom door. "We've gotta leave soon or we won't get good seats."

"Or a good table!" Maureen added.

"Yeah. In a minute," she answered. She finished with her lip gloss and tossed it back in her makeup bag before taking a final look at herself in the mirror. It had taken her a hell of a long time to get ready, considering she hadn't really been out much in the past few months. She finally decided on a pair of tight faded jeans and a black strapless top that crisscrossed over her back. She knew from experience how hot these clubs could get and figured she was better off with something that wouldn't keep her sweltering throughout the night. Grabbing her purse off the bed, she slipped into her stiletto heels and flung the door open. Maureen was fluffing her hair in the mirror near the door and Joanne was putting on her coat.

Mark turned and grinned at her. "You look great."

"Oh. Thanks," she blushed, running her fingers through her straight hair. "It's been awhile since I've been out."

"Roger will approve," Collins added.

"Yeah, and so will twenty other scumbags at the gig," Maureen said, rolling her eyes. She turned around and smiled at Jen. "But you do look great sweetie. How the hell do you pull off those shoes?"

Jen shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think they're comfortable, for me at least."

"My feet would be on fire by the end of the night."

Mark laughed. "As well as other parts of your body."

"Shush," she said, grinning. "Ready?"

__________________________________________________________________________

The club was smoky—and packed when they arrived. Jen, Mark, Maureen, Joanne, and Collins quickly found a table up front and off to the left side of the stage. 

"Anyone see Roger?" Maureen asked, grabbing a cocktail off of the waiter's tray. Joanne sighed and pulled her down in the seat.

"Nah, I don't see him," Jen said. She scanned the room but gave up quickly after a few minutes. "I think I'm gonna get a drink from the bar."

Mark nodded. "Want some company?"

"Nah. I'll be back in a few."

Jen pushed her way through the crowd and headed for the bar. It had been a long time coming since she had drank much of anything to give her a buzz, but considering Abby was always at her heels, there wasn't much time for beer in between re runs of Full House and Sesame Street. She ignored the stares and whistles and stood near the end of the bar, brushing her hair over her shoulder.

"What'll it be?"

"Um, apple martini."

The bartender stared at her. "You look underage. Have any ID?"

Jen glared at him. "I'm 25 fucking years old. I'm a mother of a three year old. I'm friends with Roger Davis. Give me the fucking drink."

"Oh. Davis huh? Sorry about that." He started mixing the drink. "Davis got another girlfriend?"

"What do you think?"

"He's always got lots of girlfriends."

Jen sighed and took the drink from her. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"So are you another one night stand too? He giving you the time of day yet?"

"Excuse me?" Jen said angrily.

"Jesus, shut the hell up Tim. Leave the poor girl alone."

"Yeah yeah." Tim walked away and Jen turned around. A woman with blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail was sitting on the barstool next to where Jen was standing.

"Thanks," Jen said, smiling at her.

"No problem. Lori Marcaly," she introduced. 

"Jen Walsh."

Lori smiled, taking a sip of her own cocktail. "So you said you're friends with Roger? Friends with benefits, girlfriend, fiancée? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you were his wife," she joked.

Jen laughed. "Girlfriend. I guess you can say that. Do you know him?"

Lori nodded. "Yeah. My husband Wes is the drummer for the Hungarians."

"Oh. I was looking for Roger before. Couldn't find him. Kind of gave up."

Lori stood up. "Follow me. I'll get you backstage. That's where they all hide out before the gig," she smiled.

Jen followed, maneuvering her way past the tables. "Thanks. So how long have you and Wes been married?"

"A little over a year. We tied the knot in September, right before our daughter was born in January."

"Oh congratulations," Jen said. 

"Thanks. You have a three year old?"

Jen nodded. "She's a handful, but I love her to death. She keeps me sane."

"I agree with that. I usually don't bring Gwen here, but tonight my mom couldn't make it up to the city from Jersey to watch her for me, so she's backstage with Wes. Hopefully still in one piece, although I'm sure the word fuck will make it somewhere in her vocabulary by the end of the night," she laughed. Lori stopped in front of a tall, built man with a security badge on his jacket. "Hey Vinnie.

"Lori M, long time no see. How's the baby?"

"She's with Wes, so let's hope she's good."

"Who's your friend?" he asked, studying Jen.

"Jen Walsh, Roger's girlfriend."

"Can you prove that?" he said, seriously. When Jen just stared at him, he cracked a smile. "I was only kidding. Have fun ladies."

"Thanks," Lori said. She led Jen down the backstage hallway and paused outside a small room with a beat up door. She pushed it open to find Roger, Wes, and two other members of the band seated on couches and watching football on TV. Wes was holding a sleeping Gwen propped up against his shoulder, rocking her every so often. "Hey boys." Roger practically jumped out of his seat when he noticed Jen standing there. He walked over to her and grinned.

"Hey."

"Hey," she answered. Roger pulled her over to the couch with him and settled her on his lap. 

"You have a hard time getting back here?"

"If you mean did I have to show anyone my tits, then no," she laughed, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Not that tits are a bad thing to see half the time."

"Jen, this is Evan, Wes, and Travis."

"So who made the comment?"

"That would be Travis," Wes said, handing Gwen over to Lori.

"Looooriii! Lori in the house!"

"Shut up Evan. You sound like an ass," Wes said. 

Evan flipped him off. "At least I don't look like one."

Lori laughed. "Hey, are you calling my husband ugly?"

"Takes one to know one," Travis added in a singsong voice.  He stood up and started screaming at the TV. "COME ON BUTTFUCKS! YOU JUST GOT A FUCKING PENALTY! Asswipes."

Roger rolled his eyes and helped Jen up. "Let's go for a walk."

"Sure." She grabbed her martini with one hand and linked her fingers through Roger's with the other.

"Ah, young love," Travis said, batting his eyelashes.

"Leave Rog alone. Just because you don't have Theresa here right now to suck you off in the broom closet doesn't mean you gotta rag on our Roger here," Wes warned. Laughter erupted just as Roger closed the door.

Roger led Jen through the back hallway and out the exit door. They were greeted with a cold breeze of air, and he tightened his grip around Jen's shoulders. "I don't think I told you how great you look tonight. Really."

Jen laughed and wrapped her arm around Roger's back as they headed down 2nd Avenue. "Just great huh? Kind of feel like it's prom all over again." Jen smirked at the look on Roger's face and deepened her voice. "You know uh Jen, you look great tonight. Beautiful. Please oh please have my babies in the back of my car. Oh come on baby." She started cracking up and took off at a run down the street. 

"You're dead Walsh."

"Oh yeah? Come and get me then!" she yelled, trying to keep her balance in her heels. Roger dodged a patch of ice and sped after her, finally grabbing her by the waist. 

He kissed her neck and placed his arms around her. "We already had the baby part."

"We did." She looked up at him, the streetlights casting a glow on the ice patch they were huddled over. "Wanna go home and go through the process?" she teased. "God my feet hurt now."

"Do I get lingerie in this package?" He picked her up and carried her down the street as she took of her heels and carried them in her hands.

"Hmm." She grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Maybe?"

They walked the rest of the block in silence, before Roger finally set her down outside the exit door at the back of the club. "Jen?"

She looked at him. "Yeah?"

"If I told you I loved you right now what would you say?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I stood here right now and told you that I cared about you, loved you, and wanted to be with you and Abby for however long I have left, what would you say?"

Jen didn't even have to think about her answer. She already knew what it was. "I love you too. I always have."

"Even though I hurt you?"

"Rog, just because all that shit happened between us doesn't mean that I don't care about you. When I walked into the loft last week, I didn't know where the hell anything was going to lead me. I didn't even know if you would want to be around Abby or me—but I had to give it a shot. I owed it at least to myself, and to her. Look at her now, she loves being around you. She idolizes you. You can't say that doesn't make you feel that you did at least one thing right? I don't care that you weren't there for me from the beginning when I had her—because you're here for me now. I love you. Abby loves you. We'll always love you." Jen buried her face in his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you Jen. I don't care who knows it."

"I know baby. Now go back in there and kick some ass," she said, leading him through the door. 

"Do I get a piece of ass later?"

"Don't kill the moment."

____________________________________________________________________


	8. Out of Control

NOVEMBER   
CHAPTER 8

Thanks reviewers. I love you all. 33 please keep reviewing; I love to hear what you think. ;)

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"Anybody see Jen? The gig's about to start," Mark said, throwing back a shot.

Maureen shrugged. "Nooo idea. Maybe you should…find her?" she giggled. She slouched back over the table.

Collins shook his head. "The gig hasn't even started and already you're trashed. Jo, she's completely in your hands."

Joanne rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks Collins."

"Anytime."

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"Vin?"

Lori and Jen ran up to the security guard and smiled. "What's up Lori M?" he said, tickling Gwen under her chin.

"I need a favor from you," Lori spoke. She adjusted Gwen in her arms and rubbed the baby's back.

"Sure thing."

"Can you watch Gwen from me for about 20 minutes? I want to catch the beginning of Wes' set," she asked.

Vinnie nodded and picked up the baby. "No problem. I'll take her upstairs with me." 

Lori gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks so much."

"Catch ya in twenty."

Lori smiled at Jen as she led her back into the main club area, and the two took a seat at a reserved table in the middle. "So have you ever been to one of these gigs before?"

Jen shook her head and set her empty martini glass down on the circular black table. "No. First one. Anything I should know?"

Lori laughed and took a sip of her beer. "See over there? That's where all the girls hang out—groupies or whatever. They stand there with their boobs and thongs hanging out for the whole set, hoping to score with one of the guys backstage."

Jen stared in the direction she was pointing in and rolled her eyes. It was pretty pathetic. There were about five girls squeezed into tube tops and three sizes too small jeans, practically hanging on the amps. "Wonderful. So which one's the favorite?"

"Roger. Although last week they were going crazy over Travis' new tongue ring, therefore making Travis the weekly favorite. They hate me so much. I swear, I can't even walk over there without getting a drink dumped on me or the word bitch thrown around in five different creative ways," she laughed. "Watch this." Lori sauntered over to the girls and appeared to start chatting with them. To Jen's surprise, they actually followed Lori back to the table. "Ladies, this is Jen. Roger's girlfriend. Get it? That means hands off. You can look, but you can't touch."

A petite girl with platinum blonde hair started laughing. "You're with Davis? Lucky bitch." They all left quickly and Lori sat back down, laughing.

"Nice kids. What are they all 18 or something?" Jen said, smirking.

"Barely legals. The usual crowd."

Jen nodded. "So how do you deal with it?"

Lori laughed. "I admit I used to get really upset about it when I first started dating Wes. I met him through my cousin Robbie, who owns his own bar a few blocks over and sets up all their gigs for the Hungarians. We dated on and off for the first year and a half, and then I found out I was pregnant, so we got serious with each other fast. He proposed about a month later, and we've been happily married ever since. Well—pretty happily married. But about the girls, don't let them get to you. They'll try to find you after a show and say some pretty cruel things to you and it'll make you feel like shit, but then when it comes down to it, you have to realize that you have the guy and they don't. When Wes and I said our marriage vows, we meant them. It wasn't some bullshit joyride because I was pregnant—it was because we both wanted to remain faithful to each other."

"Yeah." Jen's gaze wandered up the stage and on Roger, who saw her and gave her a smile. She returned it.

About forty-five minutes into the Hungarians set, Lori stood up. "I have to go get Gwen and get home. Poor Vinnie must have his hands full by now.  Hopefully I'll see you at the next gig. It was nice to meet you."

"Yeah, it was." Lori smiled politely before slipping backstage. Jen managed to grab another martini and within another half an hour, the gig was completely over. The applause was deafening, and Jen managed to avoid the crowd now filing out onto the street. She hadn't seen Mark—or anyone—for that matter since she had met up with Lori at the bar.

Just as she turned around, Collins walked up to her. Behind him were a very drunk Maureen and Mark, and a disapproving Joanne. "What happened to designated drinking Collins?" she asked, laughing.

He shrugged and smiled. "I can only control myself. Maureen's—well, you know how she is. And Mark had way too many jello shots."

"They jiggled," he laughed.

Collins shook his head. "I'm getting everyone home. Mark _will_ probably pass out on my couch, so don't expect him home tonight." He gave Jen a kiss on the cheek.

"Later Marky," she said.

"Bye-bye Jen. You take care now," he slurred.

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"Yeah. I'll see you Saturday night Robbie."

"Later Davis. You played a good gig tonight."

"Thanks." Roger walked into the bar area to find Jen sitting on a barstool, watching football on the TV. The place was deserted except for a few other guys drinking and the janitors cleaning. "Hey," he greeted, kissing her on the neck.

"Take it outside Davis," Robbie called over, laughing.

Roger grinned. "Yeah yeah."

She stood up and yawned. "Hey. What time is it?"

He looked over at the clock on the wall. "Close to 2. Sorry I took so long. We had to pack up and everything." She nodded and pulled her jacket on, yawning again. "Somebody's tired."

Roger took her hand in his and wrapped his other around her waist. They headed outside of the club and down the street. "You try keeping up with a 3 year old and tell me how you'd feel after your first night out in a really long time."

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "We better get you to bed then."

She nodded. "You smell like smoke."

"I had a few backstage."

She looked up at him. "A few of what?"

"Cigarettes."

"Uh huh." She pulled away from him and continued walking down the street. 

"Jen come on," he said, grabbing her arm. "Don't do that."

"What?" 

"I said they were cigarettes, not joints."

"They better not be joints."

"Fuck, I said they weren't. Just leave it," he argued. He kicked open the loft door and flung his keys onto the counter. Jen walked past him and into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and took off her heels and jacket before standing up again to rummage through her still unpacked clothes. 

Roger came in shortly after. He stripped down to his boxers and set a glass of water and his pills on the nightstand. "You coming to bed?"

"In a minute," she answered, taking her pajamas and leaving the room. When she returned, her makeup had been washed off and her hair had been pulled up. 

Roger was lying on the bed. He leaned over and downed his pills before pulling down the sheets for Jen. He turned out the light and she slid under the sheets, pulling her knees up to her chest. Roger leaned over and kissed her lightly before running his hand up and down her side. "I want you to trust me Jen."

"I know," she whispered. "And I do. It's just hard."

Roger pulled her closer to him and she settled her head on his chest. "Night baby."  
  


"Night."

"And I do love you."

"I know."

___________________________________________________________________

"Jen," Roger groaned the next morning. "Your cell."

She rolled over and was just about to whack Roger in the face with her arm when he reached out and caught it. "What? Shit, did I hit you?"

He grinned. "Almost. Want me to get it?"

She yawned and nodded before shutting her eyes. "Yeah."

He reached over and grabbed the phone out of her bag. "Hello? Who is this? What? Hold on." He reached over and kissed down Jen's neck and arm. "Jen. It's someone named Michelle."

Jen took the phone and sat up against Roger. "Hello?"

"Jennifer Walsh, who was that sexy voice that picked up the phone? Is he as hot as he sounds?"

Jen grinned at Roger, who mouthed 'What?' to her. "Oh yeah. You could say that."

"Jen got laid…"

"Nah, actually I didn't. You know, there is such a thing called sharing a bed with a hot guy and not having anything sexual happen."

Roger laughed as he said this, pulling on a shirt over his head.

"Guess I wouldn't know about that. I need some help at the gym today. Can you please come in and help me coach the girls? Please…"

Jen looked at the clock and sighed. "It's 9 AM."

"So? Be here for 10. The girls have been here since 8. Tina can't stick her back handspring back tuck on her floor routine, and Keri's having problems with her shoulder. Everyone's been asking for you. Apparently I'm not good enough."

"I'll come in for a few hours. Do you need anything?"

"Bring me some extra tape. Alicia has shin splints."

"Got it."

"Can you bring sexy voice with you?"

"You're so pathetic."

"So what? Does he have any friends?"

Jen laughed when she thought of Mark. "Yeah. He might have a hangover though."

"Eh, no difference. Bring him along?"

"I'll try."

Jen tossed her cell back in the bag and rolled onto Roger, straddling his lap. "We've got to get up."

He smiled at her. "Not with you sitting on me like that we don't."

"Oh yeah? Oops, sorry about that," she said. She tried to slide off of him but he pulled her down again."

"Where do you think you're going?" 

"To the gym. I've gotta help Michelle coach the competitive gymnastics team today."

"Oh. And let me guess, I get to come?"

She nodded and stood up. "You get to keep track of the score and any problems that the girls have."

Roger laughed and rolled his eyes. "We'll see."

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An hour later, Roger and Jen had arrived at the gym. Jen knew Michelle was having a tough time before she even stepped foot into the main gym area.

"Come on Keri! You've gotta stick the landing or it's no good!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Jen sighed and tossed her bag onto the bleachers before signaling to Michelle. "You .Sit. Don't move. Be good. Entertain yourself if you want—" Roger cut her off and pulled Jen in for a kiss.

"Ooh Jen, where'd you get this one?" A girl asked, dusting her hands with chalk as she walked by. "He's cute." 

Roger laughed and smiled at her. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Who was that?" Roger asked, watching the girl take off down the runway and vault. "She's good."

"Tina Mullan. 14 years old from Seaside, New Jersey. She commutes back and forth everyday after school and on weekends to be here for practice."

"That's dedication for you," Roger said, taking a seat on the bleachers.

A woman with blonde hair dressed in a leotard and shorts jogged over to Jen. "Jesus Christ, did you hear Keri yelling at me five seconds ago?"

Jen laughed. "Yeah, I was practically in the parking lot. She okay?"

"She had a pulled muscle in her hamstring. She's icing it right now, but she's a real bitch today so watch out." 

Jen tossed Michelle the tape. "Michelle, this is my boyfriend Roger. Roger, this is Michelle."

Roger leaned forward and stuck out his hand. "Hey."

"Hey, nice to meet you. Big hands."

Roger looked at her weirdly and then glanced at Jen.

"…big—" Jen clamped her hand over Michelle's mouth and steered her in the other direction towards the mats. Roger laughed and sat back down.

Michelle looked back as she taped up her wrists. "He's cute. Where'd you find him?"

"That's the Roger." When Michelle stared at her blankly, Jen tried again. "Abby's father?"

"No shit. What happened?"

Jen shrugged and stole the tape back from her and wrapped it around her shins. "We just met up again."

"Aka you don't want to tell me here." Michelle tossed the tape in a pile at the end of the mats and ran her hands through the chalk as Jen followed.

"No. I'll tell you later."

"Hey Jen!" A girl said, tumbling straight by her.

"Hey Alicia." Jen took of her t-shirt, which just left her in a tank top and tiny cotton shorts. 

"Is Abby coming to tumbling class Monday night?"

Jen nodded and walked out onto the mat. As she looked back, she noticed Roger was interested in what was going on. The various girls were vaulting and doing their routines all over the place. She was surprised that he wasn't half asleep by now. "Yeah. She's with my parents in Boston, but she'll be back Sunday morning. I enrolled her for the second semester a few weeks back. She seems to like it."

"She's good at it too. I was working with her on her cartwheel last week, spotting her. She's got a great sense of balance. Better then most of the 3 to 4 year olds I've seen lately." Michelle walked out onto the mat and whistled as the girls came jogging over. Most of them said hello to Jen before letting Michelle finish speaking.

 "Ladies, you see that guy over there?"

"The hot one?" Alicia asked.

Jen grinned. "Yeah. My boyfriend."

"Damn." The other girls laughed as Michelle passed the tape down to them.

"Give Roger your scores today. Whatever we tell you your score is, and whatever we say you need to work on, run over to him and have him write it down. We have a competition next Saturday. I want to see some improvement." Michelle turned around and looked around the gym. "Britney and Sarah, I want you to work on your uneven bars routine. Take turns going through the motions and spotting. Either Jen or I will be over there to check up on you in a few. Keri, work on your vault. Tina I want you on floor, and Alicia on beam. We'll rotate in about half an hour."

"I'll spot Keri on the vault," Jen said, taking after the seventeen-year-old brunette.

"And I'll just walk around and work with the rest of the girls. Thanks Jen," Michelle added before taking off in the opposite direction. "And I'll give lover boy the score sheets."

____________________________________________________________________

Jen wrapped a towel around her head and stepped out of the bathroom. She sniffed the air and made a face. "What are you making?"

Roger shrugged. "Dinner."

"I hope it's edible."

"It will be. It's Betty Crocker's fault if it isn't."

Jen laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Can I ask what it is?"

"Beef stroganoff."

Jen glanced into the pan. "Looks like it." Roger pulled her around to face him and kissed her, first lightly, and then deeper as the minutes progressed. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her hips into his as he backed her up against the counter. 

"Good god, I hope you're not going to fuck near the food," Mark said. Roger groaned and dropped his head onto Jen's shoulder as she giggled and rolled her eyes at Mark.

"Shut up Mark," Roger growled, taking Jen's hand in his and pulling her towards the bedroom. 

"Have fun kids. I'll just tend to the food," he said sarcastically, grinning as Roger flipped him off before slamming the door.

Nothing was said as Jen took a seat on the bed and pulled her feet underneath her. Roger sat next to her and dug around in his drawer, finally pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. After a few drags, Jen looked back at him. "That's so bad for your health."

_Maybe I'm addicted, I'm out of control_

_But you're the drug that keeps me from dying_

_Maybe I'm a liar, but all I really know is_

_You're the only reason I'm trying_

He grinned and rubbed her back. "I know." He put it out as she laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling—at the water spot in the corner, the cracked paint. She rested her head on the pillow and Roger turned onto his side, staring at her and holding her hand. "Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"We don't have to do anything. We can just lie here for a while. Ignore Mark, okay?"

She nodded but shook her head at the same time. "I want to. Really, I do. What do you want?"

Roger stretched out next to her. "Whatever you want. I mean, it's only been a little over a week. Whatever you're comfortable with. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Okay."

She turned onto her side and rested her head on his chest as he made circles rubbing her back, down her shirt and her jeans. "Roger?"

"Yeah baby?"

"What's the one place you want to visit that you haven't been to yet?" she asked. Roger kissed her forehead and pulled the comforter over them.

"I think Italy. Never been there. It's supposed to be romantic," he grinned. "We could go and make it even more romantic." He started playing with the rings on her finger. "What about you?"

"Paris. I know that's clichéd, but I'd love to do this whole European tour. Italy, Paris, London, Moscow. But with the right person you know?" she teased.

He squeezed her hand as she pressed her stomach into his side. "Am I the right person?"

"I hope so," she laughed. "Morris?"

He laughed and rested his hand on her hip. "Yeah Screech?"

"Let's tango."

"Tango? That's a new one," he laughed, kissing her temple. "You sure?"

"Uh huh."

I am wasted away, I made a million mistakes 

_Am I too late? _

_There is a storm—_

_It rains on my bed when you're not here_

_I'm not afraid of dying_

_But I am afraid of losing you_

He nodded and slipped away from her to stand up. "I uh—you know, gotta get them from the bathroom. I never put them in my drawer."

Jen nodded. "Okay. That's fine." She heard him open the door and close it behind him again and closed her eyes. 

Roger slipped out into the hallway and headed for the bathroom.

"You both okay in there?" Mark asked. He was sitting at the counter reading a paper and watching the food out of the corner of his eyes.

Roger nodded. "Yeah. Just don't interrupt us or anything, okay? I think she's a little uneasy about it still, even though she says she's fine."

Mark nodded. "Not that I would want to see your naked ass anyway. I'll shut the burner off on the stove and take off for a bit."

"Thanks Mark. I don't mean to kick you out."

Mark grinned and turned the flame off before putting on his coat. "No problem. Don't worry about it. Just don't keep your girl waiting."

Jen sat up some as Roger came back in with the box of condoms. He set them on the nightstand. "Sorry. I was talking to Mark."

"That's fine," she whispered. He turned the lights off in the room and climbed back on the bed. 

"You're really sure?"

"I am." She pulled him on top of her just as he started kissing her neck and running his hands along her body. Roger kissed down her stomach. He gently lifted up her shirt and pulled it over her head as she leaned into him. 

"When did you get your bellybutton pierced?" he asked, pausing to play with it with his fingers. She arched her back as he slid off her pants and shrugged. "A few months after Abby was born."

"I like it," he said quietly. He pulled himself on top of her. Kissing the side of her neck again, her unhooked her bra. Clothes were shed and thrown into a messy pile at the side of the bed as their lips crashed together. A giggle as the box was knocked to the floor as Roger blindly reached for it, another kiss, and a low moan as their hips met finally.

"I love you Jen," he said as he linked their fingers together. "I never stopped."

She ran her fingers through his hair and nodded. "I love you too."

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[A/N: Yeah, who doesn't want a piece of that guitar player?]

Lyrics are: "Addicted" by Enrique Iglesias. Whoa, heard it today and thought of Roger automatically.


	9. Degrees of Separation

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 9

[A/N: A major secret is revealed about Jen. ;) Enjoy.]

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When the road gets dark 

_And you can no longer see_

_Let my love throw a spark_

_And have a little faith in me_

_ When the tears you cry_

_Are all you can believe_

_Just give these loving arms_

_A try baby_

_And have a little faith_

_Have a little faith in me_

_Have a little faith in me_

Jen rolled over, her arms brushing the cold sheets of Roger's side of the bed. It was a little after 8. She had been asleep for close to two hours, and probably would have easily slept through the night if Roger's voice hadn't woken her up from the other room.

She slid out of bed and wrapped the sheets around her bare body. Making her way over to the closet, she rifled through a few things before digging out an old New York Giants jersey. She pulled it on as long as with a pair of his boxers and opened the bedroom door. 

He was sitting propped up against the couch, tuning his guitar and singing a few lines back and forth. His eyes were closed, so instead of walking over to him, she leaned up against the doorframe and watched him. 

"Have a little faith, just a little faith in me," he sang, strumming out a few chords. Jen saw him frown, and then place his guitar to the side. 

She cleared her throat a little and walked into the living room then. He looked up and grinned at her. "Hey."

"Hey."

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah. I think you wore me out," she smiled. 

He kissed her neck and ran his hands up her back. "Want me to wear you out even more?"

Jen laughed and shook her head. "No, I definitely have to go out in a little bit. I have to—um, grab a few things from my apartment and head over to Michelle's," she said quickly.

"Oh. Okay. I have practice with the guys anyway," he added. He looked a little disappointed. "What time are you leaving?"

"Around 9."

"Yeah. Me too."

__________________________________________________________________

"Jen? You almost done?" Michelle hollered, knocking on the bedroom door. 

"Yeah."

"We have to be at the bar for 9:30!" she added. Michelle returned to the mirror and added more eyeliner to her lids and fluffed her wavy hair. "You know how the crowd is tonight."

"I know." Jen came out of the bathroom, carrying a pair of heels and fishnet stockings. 

"What's with you tonight?"

"I don't know. What if he shows up there?"

"Who?" Michelle asked. She was pulling her own stockings on.

"Roger."

Michelle laughed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. "There are about 50 cabaret and strip bars around the city. I doubt he'd show up at this one tonight. Besides, didn't you say that he's at band practice?"

Jen nodded and pulled on her coat. "Yeah."

"So then what are you worried about?"

"I don't know."

Michelle raised an eyebrow at her and pocketed her apartment keys. "You're not about to back out, are you? Because Nadia and Aimee are the only ones out there with us tonight. Charlene and Julie called out sick last minute."

"No, I'm not backing out. Let's just go, okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

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"I can't believe they conned us into coming to a strip club," Mark groaned. He stepped out of the cab, followed by Collins. Maureen had just paid the driver and stepped back onto the curb, wrapping her free hand around Joanne.

"For the last time Mark! It's not a strip club, it's a bar!" Maureen sighed. They passed the bouncer and walked inside, quickly finding a table near the stage.

"With a seedy cabaret act," Collins chuckled. 

"If I'm not mistaken, you both were the ones who wanted out of the loft," Joanne reminded them. She grabbed a cocktail off of the tray and took a sip of it. "And for your information, they do have live bands play here, so it's not just a cabaret."

"The nights the bands aren't playing it is," Mark added. He grabbed a beer off the tray as well. "And me leaving the loft wasn't my choice. Roger wanted some time alone with Jen."

"Already? Isn't that a little too soon?" Joanne asked. "I mean, they've only been together for a week, or something."

"I don't know," Mark said. "It's not really my business."

"Are you or are you not a straight man?" Maureen asked. "Therefore I'm sure you'll love to see girls in fishnets, bras, and mini panties strutting around."

Mark shrugged. "So these two lesbians walked into a bar…"

"MARK!"

"Jeez, sorry," he apologized.

Maureen stood up just as the girls came on stage. "Now who wants to dance with me?" she asked, grinning. Joanne shook her head and Maureen decided to drag Mark with her. Instinctively he reached out for Collins, who laughed and pushed his arm away.

"You're on your own."

"I'm not dancing with you."

Maureen sighed and pushed him towards the bar instead. "Fine. We'll go to the bar instead," she practically shouted at him. When she realized he wasn't moving, she shot a glare at the back of his head. "Jesus Christ Mark! What's your problem!"

Mark looked over to the stage. "Um. Maureen."

"What?"

Mark pointed and Maureen's eyes followed. "Oh my god." Maureen squinted at the stage where Jen, Michelle, and a few other girls were doing a karaoke to Donna Summer's 'Bad Girls' and a pretty risqué cabaret act to follow. "Mark."

"That's not her. That can't be her," he said. Sure enough as Jen walked closer to the edge of the stage, he knew it was her. Even through all the makeup.

"Mark, we can't tell Roger. He'll flip."

Mark nodded. He knew that even when Roger was still with Mimi, he hated the fact that she danced for money. Mark could only imagine what his reaction would be now if he ever saw Jen here. "Yeah. We definitely can't tell him."

Collins walked over, followed by Joanne. "Are my eyes fooling me or is that Jen up on stage?"

"It's her."

"But why?" Joanne asked. "I thought she had a pretty decent job. I didn't think she'd need to show off her body like that."

Mark shrugged. "I don't know, I mean, she's had to raise Abby on her own for three years. Maybe the cost—" He stopped in midsentence. Maureen was furiously tugging on his sleeve. 

"Houston, we have a problem," Collins said, pointing near the door of the club. Roger had just walked in with Wes, Evan, and Travis. All of them were laughing hysterically as they passed the bouncer. 

"…costs were high," Mark gulped.

"Oh shit," Maureen whispered. "What the fuck are we going to do? He's going to go off on Jen if he sees her like that!"

"Considering they just took their relationship to the next level," Mark said. He saw Evan, Travis, and Wes scatter throughout the club, and Roger making his way towards them. 

"It's too late to slip out the back, isn't it?" Collins asked.

"Collins!" Maureen scolded. "Honestly."

Roger grinned and walked over to them. "Didn't know you guys were gonna be here tonight."

"Yeah well, um, we wanted to get out of the building," Mark said, stealing a glance at the stage. "What are you doing here?"

"We decided to go for a drink after practice. Had no idea about the girls on stage though," he added, laughing. 

Maureen took his arm in hers and led him away from the stage. "Hey Rog? Maybe we should go sit down over here? Or maybe have a smoke outside? Or something?"

Roger stared at her. "Why?" He shot a look at Mark, who was staring distractedly at the stage. "What's going on? What aren't you all telling me?" He looked up at the stage. "Is that Jen? What the fuck is she doing up there?"

Mark could tell Roger was getting angry, and fast. "We seriously didn't know about this Roger."

"So what, she lied to me? She told me she was going to Michelle's!" He looked over at the stage again. "The fuck? That is Michelle!" 

"We're really sorry Roger. We didn't know," Maureen added. "We thought—"

"Fuck what you thought. This un fucking believable. My girlfriend's a fucking cabaret dancer. Guys are getting off right now on watching her up there."

"Roger—"

"Shut up Mark. Fuck. I'm leaving. I'll fucking see you at home," he spat. He brushed past Collins and Joanne.

"Fuck," Mark said. 

"I still don't get him, even after all the years I've known him," Maureen said sadly, watching Roger's retreating back.

Collins sighed. "Just give him his space. I think that's all we can do for now."

____________________________________________________________________

It was a little after 1 when Jen walked back in the pitch-black loft. She struggled out of her coat and dropped her bag onto the side just as the living room light turned on. "Jesus Christ Roger, don't do that," she smiled as he stood up. She walked over and gave him a hug, and when he didn't return it, she stepped back and frowned at him. "What's wrong?"

"Where were you tonight?"

"With Michelle. I told you that before I left," she said. Jen walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water.

"You're fucking lying. I saw you fucking dancing when I was with the guys. We went out to get some drinks after practice, and you were on the fucking stage whoring yourself to a crowd of college students and old men."

Jen turned around and stared at him, gripping the glass of water in her hand. "Okay."

Roger glared at her. "Okay? All you can fucking say is okay?"

Jen stared at the floor. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Then don't say anything if you're going to fucking lie to me some more."

"Roger I—"

"I told you I don't want to here it. Just go and fucking whore yourself. It's what your best at?"

Jen advanced towards him. "Excuse me? Where do you get off on saying shit like that? Let me tell _you_ a thing or two. You try raising a hyperactive three year old with no money and barely a college degree and see what you end up doing. I didn't ask you for one fucking thing—no child support—not even a birthday card. I NEVER ASKED YOU. Where were you when Abby was born? Where were you when she asked me for the first time how come she didn't have a father like all the other kids? You were probably in the back of an alley someplace, shooting up and fucking your junkie girlfriend," she shouted at him. She bit her lip as tears formed in her eyes. "And if anyone's a whore around here, it was them—not me."

"Don't fucking talk about them like that! April and Mimi weren't whores!"

"Oh, so there were two of them then?" she said bitterly. "Congratulations Roger."

"You don't fucking know. You don't fucking know shit about me or them or anything anymore. I'm not 18 years old anymore—I'm not the same person I was back then," he yelled at her, stepping towards her.

"Yeah? Well neither am I."  As she backed up, her right foot caught the edge of his guitar case and she tripped, her ankle twisting as she landed.  "Fuck!" she shouted, reaching over to hold it with her hand. "Pick up your fucking shit!" 

"It's not my fault you didn't see it!"

She groaned and brought herself to her feet, limping towards the bathroom. "Just shut the fuck up. Shut up, I can't take you." She reached for the handle to the bathroom door.

"You were the best lay I had in awhile, if it makes you feel any better," he spat after her. "But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, considering you're probably with a different guy every night."

She stared at him before bursting into tears and slamming the door in his face.

"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. He stared at the closed door and heard Jen crying from the inside over the water that was running in the tub. 

It was then that the memories of the night he and Mark had found April. The water in the tub—the blood—it was too much for him to handle and he started pounding on the door, just as he had done almost 3 years before. "Jen. Jen, I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry," he said. He heard the water swishing around in the tub and knew she had probably gotten in and was also ignoring him. 

"Go away," he heard her whisper. 

"I'm sorry," he tried again. "I seriously didn't mean what I said."

"If you didn't mean it you wouldn't have said it. Just please leave me alone."

"Okay. I'm gonna go sit on the couch."

"I don't care."

_______________________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes had passed with the occasional swish of water emitted from the tub. At least she was still moving around. Roger figured that at least by now the water would be freezing, and that his best bet was to attempt to break into the bathroom. He grabbed a piece of wire from the kitchen drawer and stuck it through the lock. He jiggled it around a few times and finally it gave through. At least the loft was good for one thing—shitty doorknobs.

The door creaked open, and he found Jen still sitting in the tub. A towel was draped around her shoulders, her knees were pulled up to her chest, and her head was resting on top of them. 

"Jen?"

"What?" she asked. Roger could tell from the door that her teeth were chattering. He didn't even hesitate as he climbed into the tub, fully clothed. He winced as he sat down. Sure enough, the water was ice cold. 

"Jen, the water is freezing," he said. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her towards him, running his arms up and down her back.

"Then why are we still sitting in it?"

"I don't know," he grinned. It was then that he noticed how swollen her ankle looked—it had even started turning colors. "Let's get you out of here, okay?"

  
She shrugged, but complied and wrapped her arms around Roger's neck. He carefully lifted her out and wrapped her in two dry towels before picking her up again. He pushed open his bedroom door and set her on the bed.

Jen ran her fingers through her hair and reached for his t-shirt and pulled it on over the towel before shedding it. She then pulled on a pair of his boxers, trying not to put any weight on her foot. "Do you have—"

Roger crouched in front of her and pulled her against him. "Yeah?"

She shook her head and buried her face in his neck. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm sorry you saw me there tonight. I should have told you—"

"Shh." Roger rocked her against him. "It's okay. I'm the one that's sorry."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry Jen."

"I know."

Roger stroked her hair as she wrapped her arm around his back. "I'll get you some Tylenol and ice in a minute."

"I guess so."

Roger kissed the top of her head. He had to do something to fix everything—and fast.

You can be mad in the morning  
I'll take back what I said  
Just don't leave me alone here  
It's cold baby  
Come back to bed

What will this fix?  
You know you're not a quick forgive  
And I won't sleep through this  
I survive on the breath  
You are finished with

You can be mad in the morning  
Or the afternoon instead  
But don't leave me   
98.6 degrees of separation  
From you baby  
Come back to bed…

____________________________________________________________________

Lyrics:

"Have A Little Faith in Me" – Mandy Moore Cover

"Come Back to Bed": John Mayer


	10. Prince Roger

NOVEMBER

CHAPTER 10

Sorry about this taking so long to post. I had a case of writer's block for this chapter, and unfortunately it took me a few days to get out of the funk. I've been busy with my job and school and all the great stuff. But, I found out some good news today: I might be going to Italy for two weeks with my best friend and my other friend. We're doing this exchange student program, so I'm pretty psyched about that.

Enough rambling, read and review!

X0X0

Mari

Jen woke up the following morning to an empty—and freezing loft. She didn't know where Roger was, and didn't hear Mark shuffling around in the kitchen to make coffee. She slid the sheets off her legs and pulled up her pajama pants. 

Her ankle was puffy, swollen, and black and blue. Just perfect. She sighed and stood up, limping out into the kitchen. There was a fresh pot of coffee already made, so she took advantage of it and poured it into a mug. 

"Hey, you're finally up."

She looked over and found Mark taking off his coat. "Yeah. Unfortunately."

Mark frowned at her and took a seat on the barstool across from her. "Not a good day?"

Jen laughed and tossed her empty sugar packet into the garbage. "Maybe not a good life."

"Want to talk about it?"

Jen nodded. "Actually, kind of. I would have probably started talking to myself if you haven't come in," she joked.

"Couldn't have that, could we?" he laughed at her. "So lay it out on me. I um, heard you and Roger arguing last night. Everything okay?"

"I guess. I don't really know. It's just awkward, you know?"

"Like those morning after silences, where no one knows what to say to the other person? Basically where you argued the night before and you both are still trying to patch it up?"

Jen sipped her coffee and nodded. "Pretty much. How much did you hear last night?"

Mark sheepishly grinned. "All of it. I was up late trying to finish some shit for work and, well—"

"It's okay. I mean, you can go around and think I'm a whore too, if you want."

"Roger doesn't," Mark said. "And I don't. I saw you there last night. I was with Maureen, Joanne, and Collins, and Roger came in with the guys after practice."

"Oh great. So pretty much everyone knows now."

Mark sighed. "Yeah."

Jen sighed and looked to the side, focusing on the cabinets. "It's not like I'm a stripper—because I'm not. I just dance for money. I don't strip. Stripping and dancing are different. I could if I wanted to, I guess, but I don't want to. I keep my clothes on. I don't take them off. Actually I probably shouldn't even still be dancing, because—fuck, whatever."

"It's okay Jen."

"He told me he loved me the other night."

Mark took a sip of his own coffee and nodded. "And? Did you say it back?"

"Yeah. But I can't figure out if he's just saying it because he really does, or because he feels like he has an obligation to. Like is he in love with the present me, or the old me, before Abby?" she asked.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

Jen laughed. "Sure, I'll just walk up to him right now and ask him which of me he's in love with. I'll come off sounding like a schizophrenic."

Mark grinned and shook his head at her. "I don't think so."

Roger opened the loft door and was about to slam the door behind him when he heard Mark and Jen talking in the kitchen. He heard his name being thrown around a few times, and instead of announcing his presence, he hung back and decided to listen. Okay, so eavesdropping was wrong, but at this point he didn't care. If it was the only way to get Jen to talk, he'd take advantage of it.

"So who were April and Mimi?"

Roger rested his head against the doorframe and listened, wanting to hear what Mark would say, but at the same time, afraid of his answer.

"Well um, I'm not sure I should be the one to talk about them, but you have a right to know, and unless you want to talk to Roger about it—" Mark paused. Jen shrugged and her eyes beckoned him to continue. "Okay. April and Mimi were old girlfriends of Roger's."

"Both junkies?"

"Yes and no. You might remember April, actually. Short with brown wavy hair—"

"Mmhmm. He brought her around here a few times. Claimed they were just friends and everything."

"Oh." 

"Yeah. Um, where'd Roger go?" Jen looked up from her coffee cup. 

"He went to get breakfast, I think. He wanted to get you something to eat before you got up."

She nodded slowly and bit her lip. "Okay. Well I'm gonna go lay down, but thanks Mark, for listening at least." 

"Anytime."

As Jen walked back into Roger's bedroom and closed the door, Roger reopened the loft door and kicked it shut with his foot. It slammed loudly.

"Lucy, I'm home!" he hollered over to Mark. He set a bag of bagels on the counter and grinned at him.

Mark just stared at him. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing. You and Collins should open up a practice."

Mark continued starting at him. "Um. Well, we couldn't pass for doctors. Joanne's the lawyer."

"Never mind."

"Yeah…right. Jen's in the bedroom, and next time you want to eavesdrop, make it less noticeable."

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked innocently.  
  


"You always kick the door shut and say the same line, Lucy I'm home. Then you come in and start grinning like an idiot."

Roger picked up the bag of bagels and headed towards his bedroom. "Bite me."

"Ask Jen."

____________________________________________________________________

"Then send her home!"

Roger opened the bedroom door. Jen was sitting on the bed, her cell phone pressed against her ear and her other hand holding her foot. She looked up at him when he entered and gave him a small smile.

"Mom. If she's running a fever, then bring her home and stop bitching at me about it. Fine. I'll see Dad in half an hour then. Okay. Bye." She tossed the phone back in her bag and looked up at him again.

"Everything okay?" he asked, setting the bagel bag on his dresser.

"Abby has the stomach flu, so my dad's driving her back here. They should be on their way."

"Ouch, poor kid. Is she okay?"

Jen shrugged. "How would you feel if you had the stomach flu?"

"Good point."

"Um, I don't think you should hang around her. How's your track record with catching communicable diseases?"

He started laughing at this. "Well, considering I have HIV, not that great."

Jen clamped her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, I can't believe I said that. I meant, shit I'm sorry. I meant—"

He kissed her on the forehead. "Nah, it's okay. I know what you meant. I'll risk it."

"Roger, no."

"She's my daughter too."

Jen stared up at him. "I know, but—"

"Just let me wing it. If you really want to ship me off somewhere, you can, but I don't want you getting sick either," he added. 

"I guess there's no sense in arguing with you, huh?" she said.

He grinned at her. "Nah, there's no such thing. I win all the time."

"Oh, is that so?" she said as he kissed her again, this time on the lips. Pretty soon they were fully making out, until the doorbell rang and Roger kicked her ankle.

"Ow! Fuck!" Jen shouted, her eyes welling up with tears. 

Roger looked down. "Oh shit, I'm sorry! I didn't see your foot—shit, let me get you some ice for it."

"Yeah, I'll get the door." Jen hobbled over to the loft door and opened it. 

"Hi honey," Mr. Walsh greeted. He gave Jen a quick kiss as Abby shuffled in miserably. "She's got a fever, and we've been giving her fluids, so she should be okay for a little while. I've got a shift in about an hour, but I'll be on call all night so if she gets really dehydrated then bring her in, okay? I'll either be in my office or in surgery all day."

"Okay. Dad, you remember Roger?"

"Oh yeah. Hey Roger, it's been a long time."

"Yes sir, it has," Roger added, returning Mr. Walsh's handshake. 

"Okay sweetie, give Grandpa a kiss and feel better."

Abby gave her grandfather a small hug and kiss. "Bye."

"I'll see ya later Dad," Jen added. She gave him a final kiss on the cheek and shut the loft door. As she did so, Abby burst into tears.

"Mommy my tummy hurts real bad," she cried, tugging on Jen's shirt.

Jen picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. Roger followed with a glass of juice.

"I'm sorry baby. Do you want to take a bath? Watch a movie? Lay down?"

"No."

"Then what do you want to do?"

Abby rubbed her eyes. "Throw up."

Roger tried to hide a smile as Jen looked up at him and shook her head. "Do you have to throw up?"

Abby nodded. "Yes."

"Okay. Just make sure you make it all in the toilet and not over the floor," Jen reminded her. "Go sit outside. I don't want you to get sick," she said to Roger.

"But—"

"But nothing. Park your ass."

Abby giggled at this. "Park your ass Rog! Park it!"

Roger laughed and kissed the toddler's forehead. "You feel better, okay? And maybe later if Mom's not being mean you can come and lay down with me."

"Uh huh."

__________________________________________________________________

Half an hour later, Abby was finished in the bathroom and Jen led her outside and into the living room. Roger was sitting on the couch, a can of soda in one hand.

"Roger, can we go lay down now?" Abby asked, climbing onto his lap.

He grinned at her and picked her up, resting her against his hip. "Sure. As long as Mom says it's okay."

Jen shrugged at the both of them. "Not with both of you giving me those innocent faces," she laughed. "Abby, just don't breathe all over Roger, okay? He can't get sick sweetie."

"Why?"

"Because—um, he's a big, whiny baby when he's sick, and we don't want that, do we?" she laughed, kissing Abby's cheek.

"Come on, do I get one?" Roger asked, grinning at Jen and pointing to his cheek. 

"No."

"Too bad, because you get one," he said, leaning in to give her a kiss. Abby covered her eyes and buried her face in Roger's shoulder.

"Ew. Gross."

"Come on kid, let's go get some sleep," he added, laughing.

Abby yawned and nodded. "My bed?"

He nodded and carried her into her "room". Unpacked boxes were still stacked in the corners, toys were in another corner, and stuffed animals were all over the foot of her bed. A lamp was set up on her nightstand, as well as a Pink Panther nightlight. "I don't think I can fit," he grinned as she crawled onto her bed. 

"Yes you can." She slid over and patted the tiny space designated for Roger. "There, silly."

Roger squeezed himself onto the bed and Abby rested her head on his chest. "You know any stories?"

"Umm—" He looked helplessly at Jen, who was standing in the doorway watching them with a smile on her face. "Maybe Mom could help me make one up."

Abby smiled. "Yeah! Come on, you can fit Mommy!"

Jen laughed and walked over to the bed. "There's no room. Roger's too big."

"So?"

"Alright, you win." Jen pulled herself onto the bed and rested against the foot with all the stuffed animals. She put her feet in Roger's lap and propped a few stuffed animals behind her head. 

"I like the feet in my lap," he winked at her. "How about hands instead?"

Jen tossed a stuffed polar bear at him. "Stop being a pervert. Not in front of your daughter."

Abby giggled. "What's a pervy-ert?"

"Nothing honey, it's just what your Daddy is," Jen laughed. She stopped when she noticed the look on Roger's face. Abby was sitting up and staring at the both of them.

"Roger's my daddy?" she asked. "Really?"

Jen looked at Roger, who started smiling at her. "Yeah baby, Roger's your daddy."

"Really?" she practically squealed.

"Yes really," Jen laughed, tickling her feet. "Roger's your Daddy, and I'm your Mommy. And then you have Uncle Mark and Uncle Collins, and Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne."

"And Aunt Michelle and Uncle Bobby," Abby reminded her.

"Yup, you got it."

Abby looked up at Roger. "So you're my daddy, huh?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I asked Santa for a Daddy this Christmas. How come you're early? You're not supposed to be here for another trillion days!"

Roger started laughing. "Well I guess I got here early. You could always send me back."

"Nuh-uh. You're not going anywhere. Nope, no way Jose."

"Good." He kissed her forehead and pulled her blanket over her. 

"Mommy you're a good shopper. Roger's a fun daddy. He's got a guitar."

Jen smiled. "Thank you baby."

"So what do I call you?" Abby asked. "Roger or Daddy?"

Roger shrugged. "You can call me whatever you like."

"Okay. Cause I like Daddy better than stinky old Roger."

Jen started cracking up and Roger grinned. "What's wrong with my name?"

"Nothing. It's stinky."

"Okay." He grinned again and handed her the polar bear.

Abby yawned again and took it from him. "Can I get that story now?"

Roger and Jen nodded at the same time. "You start," Jen said, poking Roger in his side.

"Okay. Once upon a time, in a far away land called Scarsdale, there was a prince by the name of Roger. Roger was a very handsome prince—"

"Oh please," Jen laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Ahem. Roger had a magical guitar and a best friend named Prince Mark. Prince Mark and Prince Roger used to roam through the forest all day and think up adventures. Then one day, Prince Roger and Prince Mark were heading to Prince school and bumped into a beautiful Princess named Jennifer. Jennifer was the hottest princess in the entire land of Scarsdale. Unfortunately for Prince Roger, Princess Jennifer hated his guts those first few months in Chemistry and English." He smirked at Jen before continuing, who stuck out her tongue at him. "Prince Roger finally got up the courage to ask her out on a date, and to his surprise, Princess Jennifer accepted."

"Then what happened?" Abby asked.

"Then Princess Jennifer and Roger fell in love and moved to the magical land of New York City. After living there for a few months, Princess Jennifer was stolen away by a huge, ugly, dragon with a mole—"

Jen started laughing again and Abby giggled. "A mole?"

"Yeah, a mole," Roger laughed. "The dragon's name was Benny. Benny finally gave Princess Jennifer back to Prince Roger and they fell madly in love, because Princess Jennifer was hot stuff. Prince Roger knew he had to get her off the Princess market, and fast. Then about nine months later after they were married, they had a beautiful and smart daughter, Princess Abby."

"That's me!" Abby whispered, half asleep.

"Yup. Princess Abby then lived happily ever after with her Mommy and Daddy in their loft palace with Prince Mark and they never heard from the evil dragon again. The end."

Jen smiled at him as he finished. Abby's eyes were shut, and her chest was rising and falling steadily. "Nice story telling skills."

"Thanks." He leaned over and gave her a kiss, running his hands up and down her back. "So she figured it out."

"She did."

"You think she'll be able to handle it?"

Jen laughed. "Are you kidding? She adores you."

"Good. Because she really has grown on me."

"Yeah. You've kind of grown on me too." She stood up and hobbled over to the door, motioning for Roger to follow. He planted a final kiss on Abby's forehead and followed Jen out into the living room.

"How about some ice for that ankle?" he asked. He pulled a package of frozen carrots out of the freezer and slammed it against the counter.

"Shh. You'll wake her up," Jen smiled. "And nice ice, by the way."

"Yeah, well, you know how it is. Living like starving artists and all."

Jen wrapped her arms around his stomach. "Oh is that so, Mr. Davis."

"Hell yeah, Miss Walsh. Lemme see that ankle," he added, picking her up and carrying her over to the couch.

"Charming."

"Who?" He looked around and then pointed to himself. "Me?

_________________________________________________________________


	11. Regret

CHAPTER 11

This is for **Kelby**! Because I know she's wanted to see an update for awhile now, so this one's for you. Damn, it's good to be out of writer's block.

Thanks to all my reviewers who still are interested in seeing this updated (I hope at least). I've been having a little bit of trouble, hence the lack of updates, but that's all resolved now and I know for sure where I want this thing to go. Major thanks to Michelle and Jan for being awesome and always willing to help. I love you guys.

Of course, a lot of love to my reviewers as well! Thank you for everything. 333

*       *       *      *

"Mommy?"

Jen looked up from the counter, where she was jotting something down on a piece of paper. She had her jacket on and was just about to run up to the office to drop off her article. "Yeah?"

Abby rubbed her stomach with one hand and her eyes with the other. "My tummy hurts again."

Jen gave her a look and crouched down in front of her. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I really have to go into the office today. And this time I can't just stay home because your stomach hurts. I know you want me to stay home, but you can hang out with Roger. Maybe he'll take you to Rockefeller Center to see the Christmas tree," she suggested, giving the toddler a hug.

"Fine." Abby walked away and climbed onto the couch. "I'm bored."

Jen sighed and pulled on her gloves. "Give me a few hours, baby. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"I love you Mommy."

"I love you too." Jen walked past the couch and knocked on Roger's bedroom door before opening it. She peeked her head in and smiled when she noticed he was lying in bed, wide awake. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Thinking," he grinned at her. "Come here."

She walked over to him and sat down on the bed. "I'm bleaching your hair for you when I get home."

"Why?"

"I thought you didn't like it dark," she laughed, kissing him.

"I don't, but it's sort of growing on me. Maybe I'll just bleach the tips or something," he shrugged, pulling her onto his lap. "You're way too overdressed."

"I'm going to work," she reminded him. "So this means—"

"That I'm in charge and Abby isn't. Got it, you only reminded me four times last night." He kissed her neck.

"She said her stomach's bothering her but I think it might just be a plan to get me to stay home. Give her some ginger ale and toast, okay? No ice cream or anything like that. If she's really hungry then let her have some soup and grilled cheese."

"Uh huh." He kissed her again and attempted to pull her down on the bed with him.

"Roger," she groaned. "I have to go, I can't be late."

"Later?"

"I promise," she smiled. "I thought you were having some sort of party here tonight?"

"Yeah. Wes and the guys are coming over around 8, plus I'm picking up Joey at the train station around 4. With my brother staying here for the weekend, naturally Kyle's coming with him."

Jen laughed and rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, you guys are gonna be hyper. Where are we putting everybody?"

"The office? Mark moved the one pullout couch to there when Abby took over the spare room. So Kyle could sleep there, and Joey can take the couch in the living room. You could put them on the goddamn floor and they'd sleep a full eighteen hours," he grinned.

"Your brother and your cousin are—"

"Crazy fuckers?"

"Close enough. But it runs in the family, so," she laughed sarcastically as he tried to kiss her again. "I've got to go! You're making me late!" 

"Okay wait." He pulled her in for a final kiss. "Now go."

She smiled and headed towards the door. "I'll see you later."

Roger crawled off the bed and followed her out into the living room. Abby was sitting on the floor, coloring with crayons. 

Jen kissed the top of her forehead. "Bye sweetie."

"Bye Mommy."

Roger crouched on the floor next to her as soon as Jen left. "Hey. What are you making?"

Abby shrugged and set her crayon down on the paper. "I dunno. I'm bored."

"So what do you say about we go do something fun? Just you and me?" He picked up the paper and crayons and set them on the coffee table. "Like go and see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller center, maybe? Is that fun enough?"

Abby's eyes lit up at this. "You mean it?"

He laughed and picked her up. "Yeah, I mean it. Let me just go take my pills, brush my teeth, and get my jacket. Then when we get back you're gonna meet two really cool people. Who are just as fun as I am."

"Santa Claus and Rudolph?"

Roger grabbed his pills off the counter and downed them with water. "No, but my little brother and my cousin."

Abby stared at him. "Are they my age?"

"No, but they might as well be because they act like it," he laughed. "My brother Joey is 21, and my cousin Kyle is 23."

"How old are you?"

"26."

"That's old," she giggled. "How old is Mommy?"

"25."

"Oh. Okay." She walked over to the coat rack and tried to reach for her jacket. Roger grabbed it off the hook and helped her put it on. "Can we go now?"

"Yup. In a minute. I thought your stomach hurt?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Not anymore, silly. I just wanted Mommy to stay home."

"Uh huh. I figured that."

*        *       *         *

"So you're going?"

Joanne nodded and zipped up another garment bag. "I'm going."

Maureen stared at the pattern on the bedspread as she sat there, watching her pack one thing after another. "I can't believe you waited this long to tell me!"

"Don't get dramatic," Joanne warned her. She pulled her cell phone charger out of the wall and zipped it into her suitcase. "I don't have any other choice."

"But you could have said no!" Maureen tried. "It's not like you couldn't have been offered another job with a firm right here in the city!"

"Maureen, just let it be," Joanne sighed. She rubbed her temples and slipped on her Doc Martens. "I just need to get out there to pay the deposit on my townhouse and move into my office. I'll be back before Christmas."

"But you'll be gone again before the New Year. How are we supposed to be in a relationship when you're halfway across the country?"

"It's Seattle, not a death sentence."

Maureen shrugged and started playing with her nails. "Okay. So if you go, then what are we? On a break?"

"If by your definition of a break is seeing other people, then yes," Joanne answered her. She lifted her suitcase and placed it by the door. "What else am I supposed to tell you? Fine, I apologized for springing this on you, but I can't stay here when I have a promising job opportunity elsewhere. This is district attorney, Maureen, not some flimsy job working at McDonald's."

"I forgot how precious your career is to you, Miss Ivy League!" Maureen shouted at her. "And it's Seattle! It rains all the time!"

"Look, I'm not arguing with you. My cab will be here any minute." Joanne checked her watch and peeked out the window. "I'll call you when my flight gets in and when I get to my place. We'll talk about this all you want to then."

"Thanks," Maureen muttered, crossing her arms across her chest. 

"I'll probably be staying at my sister's house for the first couple of days, and I already wrote down that number for you and left it on the counter. I'll be back sometime next week to pack up and FedEx the rest of my shit to Seattle."

"That's it then?"

Joanne nodded. "Yeah, that's it."

"I thought you liked it here."

"I **do** like it here. But I can't pass up this job offer. I need a change of pace, some new faces. I feel like I'm outgrowing the city."

Maureen walked over to the couch and sat down on it. A honk sounded from outside and Joanne peeked out through the blinds. "Your ride's here."

"I know." Joanne slipped on her jacket, scarf, and gloves and faced Maureen. "I'm sorry this couldn't have worked out better. But honestly Maureen, you'll find someone. And that person will make you happier then I ever did. I don't think we could fathom a long distance relationship anyway. It would never work."

"Okay."

The horn blared again. "I really better get going. I don't want to miss my flight. Take care of yourself for me." She was about to walk over to Maureen and give her a hug, but instead changed her mind and picked up her suitcase. "I'll see you before Christmas."

"I'll see you."

"Bye." Joanne slipped out of the door with her luggage and closed it softly.

Maureen rolled her eyes and stood up. She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked around the empty apartment. She eyed an empty cardboard box near the door and picked it up, collecting things of Joanne's as she walked by. Photographs in their frames, her scattered papers, perfume, jewelry, shampoo—until the box was almost full. Then she placed it in the closet and closed the door. She didn't want to have to deal with it until Joanne came back. 

She spent the next hour cleaning the whole place. She vacuumed, dusted and windexed everything in sight. She even scrubbed down the bathroom and kitchen, which usually Joanne always did. She had gathered a collection of missing things that she had lost over the past year. Even one of Abby's stuffed animals had been left behind. So without a second thought, she picked it up and decided to take it upstairs, considering she didn't have much of anything else to do.

She climbed the three flights of stairs to the loft and pressed the buzzer. Mark opened the door almost automatically. He was loosening his tie with one hand and was attempting to drink a glass of soda with the other. 

"Hey," he greeted. 

"Hi. Um, Abby left this at my place. I just wanted to bring it up in case she needed it or missed it," Maureen said. She walked in and placed the teddy bear on the coffee table. "Sorry if I barged in on you."

"Oh, no it's fine." He looked at her. "Mo, are you okay?"

She nodded a little to quick for Mark's liking. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"Do you want to talk about it? Whatever it is?"

She shrugged, but then nodded again. This time it was more of a genuine nod. "I'd like that. I was looking for Jen to talk to, but she's not here."

"At work," Mark added. "Listen, Roger's having some kind of party tonight so why don't you just come up then and we'll talk?"

"Are you sure? I don't want him to get pissed at you for inviting me."

Mark laughed at this. "Roger's not going to get pissed at me for inviting you. Hello, I pay half of the rent. Or a third of it now," he added, referring to Jen.

"Yeah, good point. Are you bring Joanne with you?"

"She moved to Seattle," Maureen said calmly, as if it didn't even bother her.

"What?" Mark practically spit out the soda at her. "When the hell did that happen?"

"She told me yesterday morning, and left about two hours ago for the airport. She got a job as district attorney, so she's moving to a townhouse in downtown Seattle. She's supposed to be back before Christmas to pack up the rest of whatever she left behind."

"I'm really sorry Maureen."

Maureen smiled at this. "I'm not. Now that I think about it, we barely got along. We wasted a whole year of us just bickering back and forth and making up again. It was ridiculous. I'm surprised it took this long for one of us to realize that we weren't going to make it."

"So are you both taking a break?"

She shook her head. "No. We're through. For good this time." Maureen brushed a curl out of her face. "I'll see you later tonight."

"Yeah, okay. If you ever need anything, just let me know. I mean it," he added.

"Thank you."

*       *       *       *

"Rog, you should see this girl I'm dating! She has the nicest—" Joey Davis waved at Jen when she walked into the loft. "Hey Jen."

Jen took off her scarf and gloves. Roger walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Hey baby." He placed his hands on her reddened cheeks. "You're freezing."

Kyle took a sip of his beer and placed it back on the coffee table. "No shit, it's sort of cold out there."

Roger gave him the finger and pulled Jen in for a kiss. He took of her coat and hung it on the rack. "They're just jealous," he laughed.

"Yeah, of what? Dude, news flash. You're ugly," Joey cracked on him. 

"Keep it up and you're spending the next two nights out on the streets," Roger warned him. Jen rested her head against his chest and tucked her hand into the back of his pocket. He walked into the kitchen with her and pulled her in for another kiss. 

"How was Abby?"

"She was good. I took her to see the tree and then I made her an early dinner. She said her stomach felt better, but I gave her some more ginger ale just in case. Then she fell asleep on the couch so I moved her to her room and she's been asleep for about an hour."

"Okay that's good. When did you get Dumb and Dumber from the train station?"

Roger grinned. "Around 4."

"So you mean to tell me that they've been sitting on the couch drinking beer for over two hours?" she laughed. "Wait a minute, where you guys surfing through the porn channels too?"

"Of course baby!" he joked.

"Alright smart ass, let's try not to be so loud that Abby can't fall back asleep later."

"I know. I promise."

She nodded and grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. She hopped onto the counter and popped the top off. "You have to work tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, from 9 to 1. That just has fun written all over it." He rested himself in between her legs and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Sorry, but I don't sympathize with you. I'll just have the Tylenol ready in the morning."

"What the hell are you two doing in there?" Joey shouted over. 

"None of your fucking business!" Roger yelled back. "So what were you saying about that girl?"

Jen laughed and buried her face in Roger's shoulder. "He's got a girlfriend?"

"She's got a nice rack! Like Jen's but a little bigger. Plus she's got a nice ass too."

"Excuse me," Jen laughed. "Since when do you look at my rack?"

"Yeah really." Roger helped her off the counter and walked back into the living room with her. "When do you stare at her? Wait, I don't even want to know."

"Just keep drinking our beer Joey," Jen said. "But don't blame me when you have a killer hangover in the morning."

"I'm a responsible drinker. I've learned from the best," he added, pointing to Roger.

"Oh yeah, great role model right there," Jen said sarcastically and Roger rested his chin against her collarbone.

"Mommy…"

Jen sighed and pulled away from Roger. "I'll be back. I'm coming, Abby."

Roger walked over and smacked Joey on the side of his blonde, spiked head. "You're an ass."

"Shut up. Hey, did Mom tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Roger sat down next to Kyle and popped the top off his own beer.

"That Kim is having twins," Kyle chimed in.

"Jesus Christ, Jimmy did a good one right there," Roger laughed. 

"Yeah. Kim says she's done after these two."

Kyle shook his head. "I don't blame her. I don't think I could handle one, let alone too."

Joey took a swig of his beer. "Yeah, neither could I. What about you Roger? You want kids?"

Roger stared at them both. He was so close to letting it slip—that yeah, he had a daughter and she was in the next room. Except they still thought that was Jen's daughter, and not his. He was going to have to find a way to break it to his family that he didn't just want a kid, but that he already had one. "Yeah. Kids are great."

*        *        *        *

By 10, and by this time, most of Roger's band, Joey, and Kyle were well on their way to beyond wasted. Roger wasn't far behind, but Jen had only had about two beers. Mark and Maureen had spent the night at the far end of the couch, steadily drinking anything they could get their hands on. Mark was buzzed, but Maureen was far gone.

"I feel like such an ass, you know?" she said. She downed a shot of tequila that Roger had just poured her and set the empty glass next to her collection near her feet. "Like I wasted so much time. I could have been a fucking, I don't know, nun, or something. But I have no career, no relationship, and no family."

Mark picked up his own vodka shot. "Hey, that's not true. Shit happens."

Maureen slumped against the couch and looked over. Roger had Jen on his lap and was laughing at something that Wes had just done to his wife, Lori. "You ever feel like you don't fit in?"

"Like what do you mean?"

"I just feel like I don't fit in. I'm Maureen the drama queen, on an endless search for her godforsaken stage that she can prance upon and waste away on." She started in on another shot.

"I'm just the guy with the fucking camera who lives with a roommate that oh yeah, gets all the girls. Plus I basically have to take care of this dump and make sure he doesn't drink himself to death."

"We're fucked over, you know that?" she said seriously before starting to laugh. "We are really, truly fucked."

"Yes, we are," he slurred. "I never get drunk."

"I do."

"I know."

"I'm gonna go lay down," she said, trying to bring herself to a standing position but failing miserably. Mark grabbed her by the arm and helped her back up in his own drunken state.

"Roger, we're gonna go lay down," Mark announced.

"What? Yeah sure," she said. He was farther gone than Maureen was at this point, and at the back of Mark's mind he tried to feel sorry for Jen, but he was sort of numb.

Maureen crawled onto Mark's bed and stretched out on her back. "Do you ever regret anything Mark?  
  


"Um. I guess so?" he replied, laying next to her. "What about you?"

She turned over to face him. "Letting you go, maybe. And getting my life off track." She rested her head on his chest and briefly closed her eyes.

"I don't think you let me go."

"I know."

Mark leaned over and kissed her—first softly, then deeper.

Maureen pulled away from him. "What the hell was that?" she laughed.

"I don't know. What was that?"

"It felt good."

"We're drunk, of course it feels good."

Maureen returned the kiss. "This is really wrong. But it feels right on so many levels."

"Yeah well. Nothing we can do about it now," he added as he pulled her shirt over her head.

*        *        *        *

Jen crawled into bed and rested her head on Roger's chest. He was passed out—had been for the past hour after everyone had left. She was feeling a little buzzed herself, and had definitely dozed off in Abby's room after she had gone in to check on her. Joey was snoring on the couch, and Kyle was sprawled out in the office pullout. 

She hadn't heard a word from Mark since the party had started, and was too exhausted to even make it next door to check on him. 

"Jen?" Roger asked groggily.

"Yeah?"

"Abby okay?"

"Yeah." She smiled at him, surprised he could even remember his own first name, let alone his daughter.

He wrapped his arm around her waist. "Love you."

"I love you too." 

They were all going to have one _hell_ of a hangover in the morning.

*        *        *       *

Reviews would be awesome! And I'm sorry I've been away for so long!  Hope you're all still with me. :o)


	12. Falling Backwards

CHAPTER 12

A/N: Wow guys, thanks for the reviews! I really was expecting most of you to forget about this story, but I'm glad that I got so much positive feedback. I was surprised that I could get this chapter up today, but here it is. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review. 333

*       *       *       *

"Oh god."

Maureen sat up and clutched the sheet around her body. She looked over and realized that Mark was still sleeping, although the sheets were tangled up around his body as well.

She blew out a long breath of air and tried to remember what happened. But she didn't remember a whole hell of a lot, to be honest. She remembered Joanne leaving for Seattle, and then coming upstairs to—wait a minute, she was in Mark's bedroom. In Mark's bed.

She glanced over the edge and looked down. She was afraid to, because she already had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that almost verified that something had happened between them last night. Various articles of clothing were scattered here and there. A bra, a pair of boxers, her jeans, his glasses. 

"Shit!" she cursed out loud. She couldn't deal with this right now. Part of her was still so hung over that the only thing she could focus on was her pounding head. But her other half had sobered up pretty quickly when the realization that she and Mark had possibly had sex, drunken sex, but sex all the same. 

She grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around herself, leaving Mark the sheets. She collected her clothes and quickly dressed, ignoring the fact that she couldn't find her socks or her shoes. She couldn't believe this. They were just supposed to be friends—she had just broken up with Joanne. And now what? She'd leave that morning and they'd act like nothing had happened between them? They'd just keep on being friends? Friends with what? Benefits? 

She slipped out of the bedroom quietly and shut the door behind her. It was still early—the digital clock on the microwave read a little after five AM. She passed the couch, where Roger's brother was sound asleep, his face pressed into a pillow and the blankets pulled over his head. 

Yeah she wants to tear you down 

_And she leaves without a sound_

_It's like falling backwards_

_Into no one's arms_

Maureen pulled on her coat and looked back towards Mark's closed bedroom door. She hated herself for doing this, because she knew by leaving that she was going to end up hurting him like she had hurt him nearly two years before. But what else was she supposed to do? Sit here and not only announce to him, but to everyone else, including two members of Roger's family, that yes, she and Mark had sex last night. Then she'd not only get shit about it from Roger, but she'd have to deal with Roger giving Mark shit about it, too.

_You're a bullet through my soul_

_And I'll never let you know_

_I won't let you fall until you let it go_

She was reading into this too much. Instead, she decided to leave. As she closed the loft door, a fleeting thought crossed the back of her mind that maybe—just maybe, there was a perfectly good explanation for all that had happened between them.

Would you come my way? 

_Should have listened when you called my name_

*       *       *       *

"Shit! I'm coming!" 

Roger bolted up in bed and grabbed his head. "What's wrong?" 

Jen pulled her hair back into a messy bun and raced for the loft door, almost tripping over Roger's guitar case again. "The goddamn movers! I completely forgot that they were supposed to be coming today!"

Roger rubbed his eyes and walked into the kitchen. He downed two Tylenol, along with his pills, before shuffling back out into the living room. Joey had flipped over onto his back and was still asleep, his mouth hanging open. 

"Hey loser, get up." Roger picked the pillow up off the floor and tossed it at his head. "You're drooling on my couch."

Joey grunted something in response and pulled the blankets back over himself. "Why do you have to be an asshole first thing in the morning? Don't you have any sympathy for me?" he moaned.

"Nope," Roger grinned. 

Jen looked over from the doorway and shot Roger a look. "Let him sleep it off. He'll feel better if he does." She turned her back to them and resumed her conversation with the movers.

"See, at least Jen agrees with me," Joey pointed out. He sat up and dropped his head into his hands. 

"Tylenol?" Roger offered, dropping the bottle into Joey's lap.

"Yeah, after I go puke up everything I ate for the past two weeks," he said sarcastically. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door with a loud slam.

"Just try to get everything in here. Yeah. I want the entertainment center by the wall and the washer and dryer in that space over there," Jen said, pointing to a space next to the bathroom. "Great, thanks."

Roger wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer to him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry about this. They called to confirm yesterday when I was at work but I was so busy that I forgot to tell you," she apologized.

"It's okay baby." He kissed her and rubbed her back softly. "We should do something later. You and me."

Jen nodded and linked her hands through his. "That's a good idea. Once we get the two clowns out of here."

"I'm driving them back to Scarsdale later this morning. Joey has to get a flight tomorrow morning anyway back to Boston, and plus Kyle's going to the Bahamas for the next two weeks with his girlfriend."

"I thought they were both staying here tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah they were. But then Joey realized that he needed to be back in Boston by tomorrow afternoon for college and not Sunday like he had thought. And Kyle just figured that he should go home and help Mandy pack."

"Okay. But shit, you have to work tonight, remember?"

Roger groaned. "Damn, you're right. I'll make it up to you?"

She nodded and ran her fingers through his hair. "Mmhmm," she agreed, leaning in to kiss him. "Any idea if Maureen left last night?"

Roger shrugged. "I think so. I mean, I was pretty out of it so I'm not sure. I think I heard her leave early this morning."

"Okay. Mark mentioned something about her coming by yesterday and wanting to talk to me, so maybe I'll go see her later tonight."

Mark walked out of his bedroom with a pair of shoes and socks balled up into his hand, just as Joey came staggering out of the bathroom.

"Hey," Roger greeted Mark before his gaze shifted to his brother. "Feel better?"

"Like new," Joey grumbled. "Got anything to eat?"

Roger released Jen's hand as he followed Joey into the kitchen. Jen then picked up her laptop and stretched out on the couch to check her email. "Hey Marky, you okay?"

"What?" He spit out some toothpaste into the bathroom sink. "Yeah, I'm fine," he added nervously.

"Okay. You and Maureen seemed to have a lot to talk about last night." Jen typed a few lines and clicked her mouse. "Everything okay?"

Mark coughed into the sink and wiped his mouth on the towel. "It's fine. We're fine."

Jen stared at him suspiciously. "You sure? When did she go home?"

"Like early this morning? Why? What's the big deal?" He walked past her and stepped out of the way of the movers, who were lugging the washer through the door. 

"Okay, jeez sorry. I was just wondering if she was okay."

"She's fine." Mark pulled on his coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck. "I'm fine. Just lay off."

"Sorry," she muttered.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll see you later."

"Uh huh." 

Roger walked back into the living room and handed a cup of coffee to Jen. Joey plopped down next to her and stretched out. He was attempting to eat a peanut butter sandwich and drink coffee at the same time, but unfortunately for him it wasn't working out too well.

"How can you eat that this early? It's 8 AM," Jen pointed out. She took the cup of coffee from Roger and he sat down in front of her on the floor.

"I don't know. Roger didn't have any leftover pizza," Joey grinned. 

"That's sick," Jen laughed.

"Where'd Mark go?"

Jen closed her laptop and placed it on the coffee table. "He went for a walk. He was sort of grumpy."

"Mark? Grumpy?" Joey asked. "I thought he was the peaceful one."

"He is," Roger pointed out. "Did something happen with him and Mo last night?"

Jen shrugged, but then shook her head. "I don't think so. Maybe he's just overtired."

"Yeah, maybe."

*       *      *       *

You're cynical and beautiful 

_You always make a scene_

_You're monochrome delirious_

_You're nothing that you seem_

_I'm drowning in your vanity_

_Your laugh is a disease_

Mark knocked on the apartment door and waited. He had to know what had happened between them last night, but considering he had woken up with nothing but a sheet covering him, he had a pretty good idea. He figured that Maureen wasn't completely out of the loop either. He knew that after they had a few drinks, Maureen had wanted to go lay down. He remembered him kissing her, and then her kissing him back, but after that it was just blurry. He couldn't really remember a damn thing, but by coming here to drop off her shoes and socks, he hoped that she remembered something about last night that he didn't. 

He impatiently knocked again, hoping that she was home. She had to be, where else would she be this early in the morning? He heard the familiar scrape of the chain as it was unlatched from the door, and then—he was face to face with her.

"Um. Hi." He was fumbling around for words and trying to preoccupy himself with the fringe on his scarf. 

"Hi," she said, just as nervously. She was toweling off her curly mess of collarbone length dirty blonde hair. "Sorry, I just got out of the shower and didn't hear you knock."

"It's okay. I just wanted to drop off your shoes. You left them upstairs."

"Oh," she blushed. "Thanks. Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and she let him in, closing the door behind him. "So."

Maureen dropped the towel into the basket near the bathroom and followed him into the living room. "Yeah."

You're dirty and you're sweet 

_You know you're everything to me_

"So how are you?" he asked her. Great question Mark; you're such an idiot. Stop avoiding the topic. 

She retied the sash on her robe before looking up at him. "I'm okay, yourself?"

"I'm okay. How's your hangover?"

"Um, it's bearable." She adjusted the tiny space heater before sitting down on the couch. "Yours?"

"Same."

She cleared her throat and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I think we both know why you really came here. I mean, we're adults, let's talk about this like adults."

Mark nodded his head. "Yeah, I agree with that."

"Okay. So now that it's out in the open, did we or didn't we?" she asked him, biting her lip.

"I'm pretty sure we did. Considering it took me five minutes to find my boxers, that were scrunched up on the floor by the foot of my bed."

Maureen smiled a little. "Yeah. I couldn't find my bra easily, either."

"So we did."

"I guess so. Plus if it's any consolation, I'm a little sore down there, so that pretty much gives us the green light that we had sex last night."

Mark blushed again. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

_I wanna kick at the machine_

_That made you piss away your dreams_

"So."

Maureen sighed. "Look Mark, I don't—I don't know what happened last night. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I just, I'm really confused about a lot of things. And I'm not saying that shouldn't have happened, but I don't know. I just have a lot to deal with right now. With Joanne gone and everything. I mean, I have to reconsider things. I'm going to have to work more hours at the Life to pay the rent. I think I just need to lay low for a few days."

Tear down your defenses 

_Until there's nothing there but me_

Mark cleared his throat and started playing with his scarf again. "Yeah, that's fine. I was pretty much thinking the same thing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with what happened between us. I didn't want you to feel obligated to do anything because of what we were before Joanne."

"Yeah."

You're angry when you're beautiful 

_Your love is such a tease_

_I'm drowning in your dizzy noise_

_I want to feel you scream_

Mark walked back over to the door. "Things aren't going to be weird between us now, are they?"

Maureen shook her head. "Why would they be?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to check."

"I'll see you later Mark."

"I'll just let myself out," he added. "Bye."

"Bye," she said softly. 

Do you listen to yourself? 

_Never live for someone else_

*      *      *      *

"Mommy look!"

Abby pressed her hand against the frosted windowsill. "It's snowing!"

Jen walked over to the window and lifted up Abby, placing her against her hip. "Yeah baby, it's snowing. What do you think about snow for Christmas?"

"I hope it does."

Jen kissed her forehead and set her back down. "Me too. Now how about I tuck you into bed so I can watch a movie with Uncle Mark?"

"Can I watch it with you?"

"I'm sorry baby, but it's already past your bedtime. Plus it's a grown up movie that only me and Mark can watch."

"When's Roger coming home?" Abby walked into her room and slipped under the sheets of her bed.

"Late tonight. You'll already be sleeping when he gets here."

"Why?"

"Because he works late on Friday and Saturday nights. And tonight's Saturday, so it's a late night. But you'll see him in the morning, I promise."

"Okay. How come Joey and everybody was sick this morning?"

Jen laughed and tucked the comforter around Abby. "Because last night when you were sleeping we all had lots of something to drink that made us all sick."

"But I drink chocolate milk all the time and it doesn't make me sick," she protested.

"I know, but this is an adult drink that makes your tummy hurt if you drink too much if it."

"Then why did Roger drink it?"

"Because Roger's an adult and he can."

"So when I'm an adult I can drink it?"

"Yup. Now how about you get some sleep?" Jen asked her. 

"Okay. No story tonight, I just want to go to sleep."

Jen raised an eyebrow at her. "You sure?"

"Uh huh. Can Roger come in and say goodnight to me when he gets home?"

"We'll see, okay?" Jen stood up and made sure the nightlight was on. She blew Abby a kiss and Abby blew one back to her. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too. Tell Uncle Mark I love him, okay?" 

Jen nodded. "I will."

"And Roger too."

"Okay. Goodnight." Jen left the bedroom door open a crack before heading back into the living room.

Mark was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels. Jen's entertainment center had finally been set up that afternoon and wired for cable.  "Hey."

"Hey. She told me to tell you that she loves you," Jen smiled at him.

Mark grinned. "Oh. Okay. I'll tell her I love her in the morning then."

"Yeah you better. Boost her three year old ego."

Mark's smile then turned into a frown. "Jen?"

"Yeah?" She grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"I slept with Maureen last night."

Jen propped her head up against the couch and looked over at him. "I had a feeling something happened by the way you were acting this morning. Are you okay with it?"

"I don't really remember most of it, but once my head stopped pounding I remember asking her if she wanted to and she said she did, and then, it happened."

"Oh. So what are you both now?"

Mark sighed and set the remote back on the table. "Just friends. She says she doesn't want to get involved."

"I'm sorry Mark."

"I know. So am I. I mean, me and her, we have this ridiculously fucked up history together. Who cheats on their then boyfriend with another woman?" he laughed. "But last night when we were together, it felt right. Almost too right. Like the year we had spent apart was just a test or something. I realized that I missed her when I woke up this morning and she wasn't there. But I don't think she feels the same and I don't know what to do about it," he added.

"Well what's going on with her and Joanne?"

"Joanne moved to Seattle yesterday."

"What?" 

"That's what I said. She just sprung it on Maureen last minute. But when I talked to Mo about it, she seemed okay with it. Like she knew it was coming and it was just a matter of when."

Jen adjusted herself on the couch some. "So basically, they broke up?"

"Yeah. Joanne's taking a job as district attorney. So naturally she wants to move away. Her job's always been important to her."

"Mark, do you love Maureen?"

Mark sighed and looked down at his hands. "It's complicated. I do, but she's done a lot of things to hurt me in the past. And I don't know if I should be that forgiving. I haven't really talked about any of that with her. I just went to her apartment today to make sure she was okay with what happened between us."

"And was she?"

"Yeah. She just told me she needed a few days to figure some things out. Especially with her job and her rent and everything."

"I don't think Benny would kick her out," Jen said, grabbing another handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"Neither do I. But what should I do, about her? And about the situation."

"Let her hang out for a few days. Basically let her come to you. If she doesn't come around by Christmas, then bring it up with her. Don't force anything on her. Just wait it out and see what happens. I know that's probably tough to hear, but let her come to you. Then you'll know that she's missed you all this time."

"Yeah." 

"So you want to watch that movie now?" Jen asked.

Mark nodded and pressed play on the remote. "I'm glad you came back."

"Yeah well, so am I," she smiled, resting her head against Mark's shoulder. "Really."

*        *        *         *

Songs:

01. Bullet Proof: The Goo Goo Dolls

02. Dizzy: The Goo Goo Dolls


	13. Dead End

CHAPTER 13

A/N: Thanks to Michelle for the help with this part of the chapter, and you know what I mean by that, heh. Thanks sweetie! And thank you all for the reviews. Lots of love everyone.

*       *       *       *

"Uncle Mark?"

Mark flipped over onto his side and groggily reached for his glasses off of the nightstand next to his bed. He put them on and sat up some, letting out a wide yawn. "What's wrong?"

Abby was standing in the doorway, clutching her stuffed pink panther. She was sniffling and rubbing at her eyes. "I can't find Mommy. Or Roger," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. 

"Hey, it's okay." Mark stood up and pulled a shirt on, not really in much of a mood to walk around the loft in just his boxers. Especially at 2 AM. He crouched in front of Abby and gave her a reassuring hug. "Your mom just went out with Roger for the night, but she should be back home soon, okay? Real soon."

"You swear?"

Mark nodded and followed her out into the living room. "I swear. How about some chocolate milk?"

"Okay."

Abby sat down on the couch and pulled her stuff animal close. "Uncle Mark?"

Mark looked over at her "Yeah?"

She just stared back at him with her blue eyes. "Is it okay if I call Roger my daddy?"

Mark walked over to her with the cup of chocolate milk. "Sure. Of course it is, but only if you want to. And Roger said you could too."

"Okay." She took a sip out of the cup. "Hey Uncle Mark?"

Mark laughed and sat down next to her. "What?"

"When are we getting a Christmas tree? It's like, a day until Christmas!" she giggled. "Where's Santa gonna put all the presents if there's no tree?"

"Well we're going to get one either today or tomorrow. The only reason we haven't yet is because your mom, Roger, and I have been so busy with our jobs and other stuff, like getting presents for you," he added as she smiled at him. "Plus, you have exactly eight—well seven days left until Santa comes, so don't worry about it, okay?"

"Uh huh. But we gotta have one."

"We will. I promise."

"Okay Uncle Marky."

The doorbell rang, and Abby lifted her head up and smiled again. "Mommy and Roger!" She tried to make a run for the door to open it, but Mark grabbed her around the waist and scooped her up. 

"Not so fast kiddo. Roger has a key, so why would he ring the doorbell?"

Abby giggled and wrapped her arms around his heck. "I dunno. Maybe he forgot it?"

Mark had to admit she had a good point there. It used to be pretty common for Roger to forget his key—but that was back in the old days, where he used to come home drunk off his ass and with a girl attached to his hip. But even now, it was a little early for Roger to be ringing the doorbell, especially since Jen had already put Abby to bed before she had left with him and wouldn't want to wake her. Maybe Roger really did forget his key like Abby had concluded. 

"Maybe he did." Mark opened the door. Jen was standing on the doormat, blowing into her hands. Her light brown hair was windblown under the black beanie hat she was wearing.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" she asked.

"I couldn't find you. I got scared."

Jen kissed Abby's forehead and twirled her around. "Aww, I'm sorry baby. But I told you that I was going out with Roger tonight."

"I forgot." She rested her head against Jen's shoulder. 

Mark cleared his throat. "Do you mind me asking where my roommate is? You know, tall, blonde, and cocky. Tends to carry a guitar with him every now and then?"

Jen laughed. "Oh you mean him! Please, I picked up someone new at the bar we went to tonight!"

"Ha ha funny."

"He's right there." She pointed out the doorway.  
  


"Oh look!" Abby cried.

Mark started laughing the minute he saw Roger. "You know what, I'm not even going to ask why he, Collins, and Benny are hauling a tree up four flights of stairs at a little after 2 in the morning."

"Mommy you got a tree!"

"Yeah we did. I told you we would get one."

"That's what Uncle Mark said too."

"But at two in the morning?" Mark laughed. "And what, did you party it up with Benny and Collins too?"

Jen shook her head and started taking off her coat. Abby ran over to the door and watched Collins, Benny and Roger trying to get the tree up the stairs without trying to fall back down or trample each other.

"No. After Roger got off work, we decided to go downtown to get a little bit more Christmas shopping down. Or Hanukah for you," she grinned, poking him in his ribs. "But anyway, we hit up this little restaurant to get something to eat, and guess who we see there?"

"Um, Benny?"

"Yeah. It turns out that they were celebrating their first night out since Alison had Jesse and ended up at the same place we did. So we basically had dinner with them, and surprisingly Roger behaved himself and managed to joke around with Benny without wanting to slice and dice his head open."

"That's a start," Mark smirked.

"So we placed our orders and Roger and Benny decided they wanted to get more drinks from the bar, so they leave, leaving me and Alison to get to know each other a little better. She looks great considering Jesse's only about three weeks old. She was telling me all about him and showed me pictures. I have a copy in my wallet if you want to see it later," she added.

"Yeah sure. So is there a point to this story or what? And I can't believe they're still struggling with that goddamn tree!"

Jen looked around the corner and wrapped one arm around Abby's shoulders. "They're only on the third floor landing. That's progress. It took them about twenty minutes to get it up the first flight. And please Cohen! I know your attention span is longer than that. Like I was saying, they went off to the bar and who do they come back with? Collins. "

"What was Collins doing there?"

"Beats me. But anyway, he comes back with Collins, so we all ended up having dinner together. To make a long story short—"

"Please, spare me," Mark grinned as he pretended to roll his eyes.

"Jerk. We leave the restaurant and we're walking down the streets and we pass this Christmas tree lot. And somehow Roger magically remembered that oh, we don't have a tree yet. So I tell him that we could always come back and get one tomorrow morning but he insisted that we get one now because god forbid all the good ones get up and walk away in the middle of the night. Because there's just that many people shopping for Christmas trees a little after eleven. We find a decent size tree and Roger paid for it, and that was another argument in itself because he wouldn't let me pay for it like I wanted to. After it's well and paid for, Collins realizes that there's absolutely no way in hell we're going to be able to lug this tree thirty blocks home."

"Good point."

Jen ran her fingers through Abby's blonde hair. "So we realize that we're screwed and we just wasted about forty dollars on a tree that's just going to sit here and probably get stolen by some guy. Benny even offered to get on the subway and get his Range Rover so we could put the thing on the roof, but Roger wouldn't have any of that. The whole time the Christmas tree lot guy is watching us argue back and forth with each other like a bunch of morons, so he offers us this big red wagon to pull the thing home in. We get the tree in there, and Benny is pulling, Collins is making sure the tree doesn't fall out of the front end, and Roger is in charge of the back end of the wagon, all while me and Alison are trying to figure out why one, she's married to one of these morons, and two, why I'm dating one of them," Jen laughed.

Mark shook his head and started laughing. "That would have been great to get on film. Then what happened?"

"We decide to all take the subway home and get the tree through the turnstile. The train pulls up and we all get on, pulling this tree along on this squeaky ass wagon. The people that were on that train thought we were crazy. Basically it took us over two hours to go from the lot to the loft. We ended up dropping Alison off at Benny's place so she could relieve the babysitter and feed the baby. We get here, and they've been struggling for over an hour to get the thing up the stairs."

Abby stared up at her wide-eyed. "All that for a tree?"

"Yeah. You believe how crazy your Dad—Roger is?"

"Mommy, I can call him Daddy, right?"

Jen nodded. "Sure."

"Okay."

"Watch out!" Benny hollered. He was backing up through the doorway with the tree. 

"Goddamn fucking needles! Ow Collins! Watch the branches!"

"Sorry man!" Collins laughed. 

"Roger!" Jen said, resting her hands on her hips. Abby copied her and tapped her foot impatiently.

Roger's head peeked out once he helped Collins and Benny lean the tree against the wall. "Sorry," he apologized. He picked up Abby and kissed her on the cheek. "You like your tree?"

"Uh huh, but guess what?"

"What?" Roger grinned at her. 

"You're a moron!"

Everyone laughed at this and Jen was practically leaning against Mark for support at the look on Roger's face. "Abby Nicole."

"What Mom? That's what you and Alison said Roger and Benny were."

Benny threw his hands up in protest. "Hey, I may be a moron, but did I or did I not help you drag that pain in the ass tree through the East Village?"

"You did," Roger said. "And thanks."

"No problem. I better get back before Alison thinks something happened to us." Benny gave Jen a quick hug. "I'll see you guys later."

Collins gave Abby a kiss on the forehead and headed for the door. "I've got a class in the morning, so I better get going too. And Roger? Next time, let Benny use his truck instead of a red wagon."

*         *         *         *

"Roger," Jen mumbled, prying her head off his chest some. "Did you leave the damn TV on?"

Roger flipped onto his side and pulled her closer to him, their legs tangled up together. "No baby. Go back to sleep." Jen felt his breath blow across her cheek and knew he had fallen back to sleep.

"Goddammit! Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you! I'm going to work!"

"Good! I hope you get set on fire! And I hope no one's stupid enough to hose you down you reincarnated piece of dog shit!"

"Bitch!"

Jen heard the slam of a door and sat up. Roger's arm instinctively wrapped around her waist and tried to pull her back down next to him. "Roger what's going on?"

He sat up sleepily and rubbed his eyes. "What baby?"

"Who's fighting downstairs?"

Roger stared at her for a second before breaking out in a grin. "Dammit, they were so good for a month."

"What?"

Mark knocked on the bedroom door and poked his head in. A grin was plastered across his face as well. "You owe me thirty bucks."

"Do not. You said that if they made it for three weeks, you owe me an even thirty. Jen's been here for three and a half weeks, and they haven't fought since a few days before she moved in. Cough it up, Cohen," he smirked, pulling Jen onto his lap.

"Fucker," he grumbled.

"Does someone want to explain to me what's going on?" Jen asked. She was half amused, half annoyed at the situation. "Because all I really want to do is get some more sleep before the terror on two feet wakes me up."

Mark jumped onto the bed and stretched out next to Jen. "Rog, how long have Maura and Jake been living downstairs?"

Roger thought about this for a second as he rubbed Jen's back. "Uh, a little over a year maybe? Maybe a year and a half?"

"Who are Maura and Jake?"

"Jake Wilson and Maura Bennett are our neighbors that live in the apartment exactly under us on the third floor. They've been dating on and off for the past year and a half, and basically they fight so much that me, Roger, Collins, and Maureen can just about tell when one is about to breakout."

"Yeah," Roger agreed. "They usually happen right about now, around 4 PM, or sometimes around 11. It depends on what shift Jake is on and when he gets home from work."

"That's horrible! So you have nothing better to do then listen to some soap opera drama that some couple downstairs is having! Losers," Jen smirked as Roger kissed her neck.

"No, I'm not finished yet. See we know both of them. Maura works with Mo at the Life, and Jake and Roger hang out at least once a week to watch football downstairs. But they haven't been lately because Jake's been so tied up with his job."

Jen just stared at both of them. "I'm confused. So is there something I'm missing?"

"Basically, whoever storms out comes up here and hangs out with us until the other comes back to apologize. Usually it's Maura, but rarely Jake comes up here. It's just so funny that we can call these things right on schedule."

Jen pulled her hair out of the ponytail holder. "So what does Jake do? You keep mentioning shifts."

"He's a firefighter," Roger chimed in. "For the FDNY."

"Oh. So what do they fight over?"

"His job, mostly. Sometimes marriage. Sometimes her job. Definitely his job."

"So are you expecting her to come up here or something?" 

"Pretty much, yeah. Plus Collins has a class, so he won't be home. And Maureen's probably at work."

"Maura and Maureen. How do you keep that straight?"

"One's Mo and the other's Maura," Mark said to her. "Easy."

"Alright whatever. I'm still not completely following you."

"It's just that the first time we met Maura, she had just moved into the apartment and gotten into a fight with Jake. So he left to go to work, and she stormed out and locked herself out of the apartment. At this time Collins was at the hospital with Angel—that was his boyfriend at the time—and well she got stranded on the fire escape and started throwing things at Roger's bedroom window to try to get someone's attention."

"Romantic, prince charming."

"I know. Thanks," he yawned.

"So Roger goes out there and really tells her off, like lays it on her. And she stands there and tells him that she demands to be let in through his window or she'll have her brother arrest him, who's a cop and lives with them!"

Jen pressed her face into Roger's chest. "Shut up, Mark. Just shut up."

"So that's the story of how we met Maura. She's really nice Jen. You'd like her," Roger added. "And we just have to give you a little background before she charges into our place screaming her head off about her bastard boyfriend."

"You know, just as a heads up." Mark sat up and stretched his arms out over his head.

"You still owe me thirty bucks," Roger reminded him as he pulled the comforter around himself and Jen. "Now leave me and my girlfriend alone."

Mark heard the knock at the door and shook his head. "Told you."

"My god, what a bastard!"

Roger laughed and rolled on top of Jen. "Baby."

"What?" Jen whined. 

"Come and meet Maura. Then we can sleep all we want." He kissed her deeply before pulling her up with him and half carried her out the doorway.

Roger wrapped his arm around Jen's waist and walked with her into the kitchen. He heard Mark tell Maura that there was a fresh pot of coffee and to stay as long as she wanted to. "Hey guys." 

Mark grinned at them both, remembering the conversation that had just taken place minutes before. A woman with curly auburn hair was sitting at the table, adding sugar to a cup of coffee.

"Maura, that's Jen. Roger's girlfriend," Mark added as Roger shot him an obvious look.

"Hey," Maura smiled at her. "I'm Maura. Sorry about the noise. My boyfriend's an asshole," she said as if it didn't even faze her anymore. "Davis, I haven't been up here for at least a month and you have a new girlfriend already? Where have you been hanging out?"

"She's an old friend from Scarsdale." He wanted to add mother of my baby to that statement, but he figured he was better off starting with his own family, not someone that Jen had just met.

"Nice to meet you. And again, I really apologize if we woke you up. He'll be back in about an hour to get me. Always is."

"It's okay. I just thought Roger forgot to turn off the TV last night when he came home from the bar."

"Yeah, that's what everyone thinks," she blushed slightly. "But yeah. We're just having some problems."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Jen added. 

"Yeah. I just worry about him a lot, especially about his job. But it's because I love him so much that I don't want to lose him. And I know he feels the same way, and that's partially why we fight. But we've been doing good so far. Actually whatever you heard today was the first fight we had in weeks."

"So that's some sort of improvement, right?" Mark added.

Maura nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "Basically. He's cut back on more of his hours."

"What do you do?" Jen asked. Roger sat down next to Mark kept his arm wrapped around Jen, who was still standing up.

"I'm a physical therapist."

The four of them continued their conversation for the next half an hour, and like Maura had said, Jake eventually showed up.

Maura grabbed her coat and slipped it on. " That's him now. Thanks for the coffee Mark. And it was nice to meet you Jen," she smiled.

"You too."

A tall, built man sporting sand colored hair was waiting on the other side of the door when Maura opened it. "Hey."

"Hey," she responded.

"I'm sorry," he laughed. "We've got to stop giving Roger and Mark a headache."

"Yeah," she looked back at them. "We do. Thanks again guys."

"No problem," Roger called over.

"Hey Rog, are we still on for the game Sunday?" Jake asked, slipping his hand into Maura's.

"Yeah what time?"

"Like 7?"

"See you then."

Jen shook her head when the door closed. "You both really have to get some new hobbies."

*        *       *       *

Maureen ran up the stairs, trying to catch her breath. She couldn't believe this. She had to find Jen—she had to talk to someone before she had a panic attack right in the middle of the hallway.  It was bad enough she almost freaked out on customers at work. She finally reached the fourth floor and brushed her curly hair out of her eyes before practically pounding on the door.

"Yeah. Can I call you back? Someone's at the door. I'll fax the article over to you when today. Okay great. Bye." 

Jen placed the phone down and headed over to the door, pulling it open with one hand while the other held her coffee cup. "Hey," she greeted Maureen.

"Hi," Maureen said. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah of course. Sorry if it's a little messy, I was just trying to get some work done before Roger got back with Abby from daycare and before Mark came home from work."

"It's fine."

Jen stared at Maureen for a second. "What's going on? You look like you just saw a ghost," she smiled at her. "Did something happen at work?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what? You want something to eat? Roger just got bagels before he left."

"Jen."

"Maureen you're really starting to scare me. Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I think I'm pregnant."

Jen dropped her coffee cup, the brown liquid starting to seep out onto the floor through the cracked white ceramic. "What?"

*        *        *        *

A/N: You'll see where I'm going with this. Surprised, anyone? Review!!


	14. History

CHAPTER 14

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I guess I shocked the hell out of most of you?

Enjoy, and don't forget to review!

*        *       *       *

Jen ignored the spill on the floor completely as she concentrated on Maureen. "What?" she repeated. 

Maureen wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know what to do. This can't be happening. You don't even know—Mark probably—oh my god," she blurted out.

Jen placed her arm around Maureen's shoulders and led her to the couch. "Sweetie calm down. Here, sit down and we'll talk, okay?"

She nodded and sat down. Jen pulled a few tissues out of the box and handed them to her. "You know it was only that one night. Just one night. Completely unplanned and only happened because we were so unbelievably drunk. And now, I can't even pay my rent! What if I really am pregnant, Jen? What am I supposed to do? I can't afford a baby. Do you know how expensive they are?" she sobbed.

"Yeah, actually I do," Jen added.

Maureen wiped at her eyes with the tissue that was crumbled up in her hand. "I'm so scared. Mark, oh god, he's going to hate me forever! Because I just ruined the rest of his life! I don't even know if I want this baby. What am I supposed to do?" she sobbed. Her chest hitched as she tried to catch her breath.

"Did you take a pregnancy test?"

She shook her head. "No. Only because I didn't even think anything of it at first! I was so busy with work and the holidays that I didn't even bother to check my calendar or anything until this morning. I was supposed to get my period around the 7th. Mark and I accidentally slept together on the 12th. And today's the 22nd. So I'm fifteen days late, and it's never been this late before!" She buried her face in her hands. "So it's been eleven days of me possibly being pregnant with Mark's child and not knowing it!"

"Okay." Jen exhaled a deep breath. "Well all things considered, you could just be really stressed out. With Joanne moving, and your job, plus the holidays, it could be just your body's way of coping with it. So until you start showing any signs, you really shouldn't jump to conclusions, because you'll only freak yourself out more. But if you really want to be sure we could run down to the drugstore right now and get a test and you could take it if that makes you feel better?" she suggested. "Or you could make an appointment with your doctor just to be on the safe side."

"I already did. But she can't see me until after Christmas—the 27th."

"Well then we might as well go and get a test if you really think you are. Waiting's not going to make you feel any better."

"Okay," Maureen sighed. She picked up the used tissues and stuffed them in her coat pocket. "Yeah. Okay. We should, because I know we probably didn't use anything."

*         *       *         *

"I can't look at it," Maureen sighed. She was sitting on the counter and staring at the wall.

Jen checked the timer. "Another minute. Want me to look at it for you?"

She nodded, slowly at first. "Could you?"

"Okay." The timer went off, and Jen hopped off the chair to look at the stick on the bathroom counter. She glanced at it and carried it back out into the kitchen before handing it to Maureen.

Maureen's glance dropped down on it. "Shit. I knew it. It's a plus." 

"I know. But you might as well go to your doctor's anyway."

"Yeah. What did you do when you find out you were having Abby?" She moved over to the freezer and pulled out the carton of ice cream.

"I cried. A lot."

"I don't think I can cry anymore," Maureen sighed. "I don't even feel pregnant. Minus the whole exhaustion thing. What am I supposed to tell Mark?" 

Jen helped her scoop out the ice cream and handed a bowl to her. "Don't worry about that—yet. Just wait and see what your doctor says. The test could be off. Sometimes they can screw up."

"I know."

They were silent for a few minutes, just sitting on the couch slowly eating the ice cream.

 "So what's the whole story with you and Roger? Like how did you meet him?" 

Jen smiled a little bit at this. "When I was in seventh grade I moved to Scarsdale from Boston. My parents are both doctors—actually my dad's a surgeon, but basically he was offered a job in Manhattan. He took it, and we moved the summer of 1983 to the suburbs. My mom was taking some time off because she had just had my sister Erica about two years before, so she didn't exactly have a job then, but eventually the following year she was signed on as an attending in the ER. Anyway, that summer I didn't really know anybody, but by the time eighth grade ended I knew a few people here and there. So freshman year comes along and I was taking this photography to fill up some of my credits—"

Maureen laughed and rolled her eyes. "And let me guess, Mark was in it?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Our little Mark Cohen was in it. Except he wasn't as dorky as you think. He was actually pretty funny, and he was a great listener. I used to complain a lot to him about how my parents were never home, and how I hated Scarsdale, and how I missed a few of my friends from Boston. We had a lot of fun that year, and he used to talk about this kid Roger a lot, and about how much of a pain in the ass he was. Every day he'd have another story about what Roger did or how Roger got in trouble. But I never met him, not until tenth grade. So that summer I pretty much spent in Boston, hanging out with some of my old friends and my cousins. September rolls around, and Mark and that kid Roger were in my English class. Let me tell you how interesting that year was."

"I can imagine," she smiled.

"Roger thought it was hilarious to be the class clown or whatever, and I have to admit he was pretty good at it. He'd push all the teacher's buttons and really piss them off. I guess he got off I doing it, or something. So by the spring, he graduated from the pranks to making fun of me. I hated him so much. You really have no idea, Mo. I wanted to strangle him so many times."

"I bet it was because he liked you." Maureen set her finished ice cream bowl on the table and curled up against the back of her couch. "Guys are pricks like that."

"Basically. The next year he was in both my English and Chemistry class. I walked in the first day and he waved at me and I wanted to kill myself. But he sort of calmed down over the summer I guess, because he wasn't as obnoxious as he was the previous year. The third day of chemistry, my teacher assigned us lab partners, and Roger ended up as mine."

Maureen stifled a laugh. "You poor thing."

"By winter break we really got to know each other and everything. Like he'd constantly write me these stupid notes back and forth on sheets of paper when we were taking tests. I did his labs for him pretty much the whole year, but he took care of the whole aspect of lighting things on fire. Guys like that sort of thing. Anyway I was starting to get the drift that he liked me or whatever, especially since Mark would point it out to me when Roger wasn't paying attention. He asked me out I guess around April, and we spent the majority of the summer together. It was sort of a rough summer for me, because my parents ended up getting separated, so let's just say I spent a lot of time with Roger and Mark."

"Senior year Roger was in my same English class, but he barely passed. Not because he was stupid, but because he didn't do the work. He had a bad case of Senioritis. After school I'd drive over there or he'd pick me up and I'd help him with his homework or whatever—just enough to make sure he didn't flunk out or anything."

"Were you guys pretty serious? Was he like…your first?" Maureen laughed. "Sorry, I'm just really nosy."

"Maureen and her one track mind," Jen teased back. "But yeah, he was my first, and I'm pretty sure I was his. Unless he had some girlfriend on the side," she added, laughing. "But anyway, we were all set to go to prom, and like two weeks before I seriously thought I was pregnant."

"Oh wow," Maureen said quietly. 

"Yeah. I forced him to go out to get me a test and he was so scared to do it. He thought the whole time that his mom or sister would walk in and figure out what he was up to. He brings it back and I'm sitting on his bed like crying hysterically about it and he had to half carry me to the bathroom to make me take it. I go in, and he sits outside of the bathroom door guarding it. But anyway, I wasn't. We went to prom with Mark and his then girlfriend—her name was Maria or Marcy or something."

"We all graduated in June, and I was set to go to NYU and Mark was set to go to Brown. Roger didn't want to go to college, but he didn't want to stay in Scarsdale or leave me. He worked his ass off that summer to make some sort of money to hopefully find a place in the city for both of us to stay in—hence the loft upstairs. Back then it was owned by this sweet old man Mr. Henderson and he gave it to us for pretty cheap. We moved in, and needless to say the place really sucked. No heating, no air conditioning, and basically not much furniture besides what we brought with us. We both had to get jobs, and I was going to school too so it was kind of tough. Mark dropped out of Brown after his freshman year and moved in with us, so it wasn't that bad. We were all making enough money to get by."

"When did Roger start using—you know, drugs?"

"Um. He met a few guys and they started forming a band—the future Well Hungarians. It was mostly just pot at first, but he started getting really bad. He hung out with a major party crowd. He started drinking some, and then it was more of him moving on to the party drugs then. He was into having a really great time and didn't care who he brought down in the process. Benny moved in with us three years later, after he graduated from Brown, and by that time, Roger was really bad. He never came home, lost his job, and ignored most of us. We were never really officially broken up, but I knew he was cheating on me long before he ever admitted it. He didn't have to. He started doing heroin then too."

"Oh sweetie."

"Yeah. Then I found out I was pregnant with Abby—for real this time. I didn't say anything to anyone—not even Mark. But I didn't want to leave. I mean, these were my friends and my "boyfriend".  I didn't have much of anything left. I had quit college the fall semester of my junior year, so what was I supposed to do? Money was tight. I knew I couldn't raise her in the environment we were living in. Her fucking father was a druggie. I couldn't depend on Roger then."

"Why did you leave then?"

Jen swallowed and mixed the melting ice cream around in the bowl. "I came home one night from my friend's apartment. A group of our friends were celebrating her birthday. We went out to dinner and then back to her place for a while. It was getting late, and I was almost three months pregnant, so I was exhausted anyway. I came back, fully expecting Roger not to be home. He was in our room—with some redhead—" She paused and grabbed a tissue from the box. "I'm sorry. Like you have something so much bigger to worry about and here I am crying over something that happened years ago."

Maureen smiled sadly at her. "Forgiven, but not completely forgotten about, right?"

"Yeah. Pretty much sums it up. I left about a week after I found them together. I broke up with Roger, although he was probably too stoned to remember, and went back to Scarsdale. He never came after me, but I never really expected him to."

"But it would have been great if he did, right?"

"It would have. But I didn't want to build myself up and be let down," she replied. "Anyway, that's the Roger and Jen story."

"It was a good one. I'll save the Maureen Johnson story for another day," she smiled. "But I really appreciate you coming down here and helping me out—you know with everything."

"No problem. And it's going to be okay."

"I hope so," she shrugged. "A baby's not that bad, right?"

"No," Jen laughed. "At first you might think it is, but once it really hits you—you can't really imagine your life without them. And you know how understanding Mark is."

"But I really hurt him."

"Roger really hurt me, and look where we are now," Jen pointed out. "This was the last place I ever expected myself to come back to. "But I forgave him. I never forgot though. Mark will forgive you. I know him. Even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming into your apartment."

"Yeah."

"I better get back upstairs, but try to get some sleep for me, okay?"

"I will."

*         *          *            *

Jen walked back into the loft later that afternoon. 

"Hey," Roger greeted. He was sitting on the couch, a white photo album open on his lap. In his other hand was the TV remote. "Where were you?"

"Downstairs with Maureen." She took off her coat and tucked her gloves into the pockets. "She needed my help with something."

"Oh. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure," she added. "Abby's taking her nap?"

He nodded. "She ate lunch and fell asleep. So I was bored and I figured to start looking at the pictures of her when she was little."

Jen sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "How far did you get?"

"A little bit past her first birthday party."

Jen looked at the pictures in the album, especially at one picture, where cake was smeared all over Abby's face and shirt. "Yeah that was definitely a great party. Unfortunately she bathed in most of her cake instead of trying to eat it."

"I can tell," he laughed. "I wish I could have been there. I'm sorry I wasn't."

"Nothing you can do about it now, really." Jen wished she hadn't of said that, because it came out much harsher than she wanted it to. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Roger closed the album and placed the book on the table. He stood up and walked towards the bedroom. "I'm gonna go lay down before work."

"Roger I didn't mean it like that—"

"Yeah you did."

"Roger," she sighed. 

"Can I just go to sleep, or what?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's my fault, not yours. I'm the one who fucked up, not you."

*         *         *          *


	15. Christmas Eve

CHAPTER 15

A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed! Wow, I'm glad I still have such a great audience! Thank you!!

Anyway, this chapter is a little on the short side, but I wanted to get it up and I had some exams to study for today/tonight. Check back this weekend and I should have another chapter up. :o)

Enjoy, and leave me some more great reviews!!

*        *        *        *

CHRISTMAS EVE 

Jen placed the scissors on the coffee table and grabbed the scattered wrapping paper off the floor on her way to answer the door. "Hey," she greeted.

Maureen smiled and took off her coat. "Hi. Last minute wrapping?"

"Yeah." Jen tossed the scraps in the garbage can. "Figured I get to Roger's while he's still out shopping with Mark."

Maureen sat down on the couch and picked up a package of bows. "They're shopping? Now? And I thought I was a procrastinator!' she laughed.

Jen shrugged and placed a label on a papered box. "He said he forgot something. But anyway, how do you feel?"

"Not so hot, but better than I did this morning. I spent the whole morning in the bathroom. It was horrible. Like the stomach flu but multiplied by ten," she frowned. "To top it all off I still had to go to work because two of the other girls called out sick."

Jen walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She pulled out a can of ginger ale and grabbed a glass before walking into the living room and setting it in front of Maureen. "Drink some of that. It'll make you feel so much better. At least it did for me."

"Thanks. Maureen poured the can in the glass and took a sip. "I tried everything this morning and nothing worked. I would have tried some of this too but I didn't have any and didn't feel like running out to the store to get some."

"Have you thought about telling Mark?"

She shook her head and set the glass down on the table. "Not really. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm still trying to figure out a few things."

Jen nodded and cut some more wrapping paper off with her scissors. She didn't want to push Maureen to talk about something she didn't want to, especially a sensitive subject like this one was. 

"Hi Mo!"

Abby had walked into the room and climbed on the couch next to Maureen, who had leaned over to give the toddler a hug.

"Hi sweetie," she answered. "Ready for Santa tomorrow?"

"You bet! I can't wait!"

Jen smiled and pulled at one of Abby's blonde pigtails. "Okay munchkin, I think it's bedtime. The Grinch was over half an hour ago."

"But Mom—"

"No way." Jen scooped up Abby and kissed the top of her forehead. "When Roger comes home he'll come in and say goodnight to you. But if you don't go to bed right now, I'm going to tell Santa to skip us and come back some other time!"

"Ooh Jen, you're mean!" Maureen teased. 

"Yeah, you're mean Mom!" Abby stuck out her tongue and Jen started tickling her as she carried her into the bedroom.

The phone started ringing just as Jen got Abby tucked under the covers. "Mo, can you get that for me?"

"Yeah sure." Maureen leaned over and picked up the phone. 

Jen turned back to Abby and kissed her forehead. "No getting up. At all. Until at least seven o'clock tomorrow morning. Or until you hear Roger get up. Agreed?"

"Uh huh. I promise." She yawned and closed her eyes briefly. "When's Roger Daddy gonna be home?"

"Soon I hope." Jen raised her eyebrow and stared back at her. "Roger Daddy?"

"Well I don't know what I'm supposed to call him, so I guess I'll call him Roger Daddy."

"Abby we talked about this at least five times already. You can call him Daddy, it's okay. I promise."

"Okay. Night Mommy."

Jen stood up and turned off the light. "Night baby."

Maureen looked up and bit her lip. "Jen?"

"Yeah?" She bent down to pick up the crayons that had rolled onto the floor, along with one of the pictures Abby had drawn that afternoon.

"It's the hospital—"

"Oh. My dad's on tonight?" Jen asked, confused. "Is everything okay? He usually doesn't call me from the hospital."

"Uh, no. It's—Roger. The paramedics brought Roger in about twenty minutes ago."

Jen stared at her and swallowed the lump that had just formed in her throat. "What? Is he okay? Oh my god."

"I don't know. Apparently Mark asked the charge nurse to get a hold of you. She said something about an accident and that you better get down there as soon as you can." 

Jen threw on her coat and gloves. "Where's Mark at?"

"With him."

"Okay, Jesus, okay. What am I supposed to do with Abby?"

Maureen grabbed her arm in an attempt to calm her down. "Sweetie it's okay. I'll stay up here and watch her."

"Thank you so much. The last thing I want her to see is the person she practically idolizes in a fucking hospital bed on Christmas Eve."

"Call me and let me know what's going on. I'll stay here overnight if I have to." Maureen gave Jen a quick hug and pushed her towards the door.

"If you're not feeling up to it because---if you need any help, have Collins come up, okay? I don't want you to wear yourself out."

"I'll call Collins right now anyway and let him know what's going on. What about Roger's family?"

"I'll take care of it when I get there." Jen pulled the door open and paused to look back at Maureen. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm feeling better. Just go, don't worry about me."

*          *         *          *

Jen practically collided with person after person as she passed through the emergency room. It was crowded for the night before a major holiday, but when wasn't an ER crowded?

She hadn't tried to think too much on the subway, because she was afraid of what she would see when she ended up at the hospital. She tried not to think about the worst possible scenario, but in the back of her mind there was that nagging though that Roger might not be okay. _Roger might be dead_. Shut up, Jen. Just shut up and keep walking.

She paused briefly to have the admitting nurse direct her to the third double door trauma room at the end of the hall. She found Mark outside, sitting on one of the chairs. 

"Mark what happened?" she asked, running over to him. "Is he okay?"

"He's alright. It was just a stupid fucking accident. Wrong place, wrong time kind of deal," he blurted out.

"What?"

"We went shopping and got something to eat, but after that Roger decided that he needed to get his paycheck from the bar and then talk to Wes. So we get there and Roger gets his check and then some kind of fight breaks out. We tried to get out but then one of the guys that started the fight just started shooting, and he got a few random people, including Roger. It was so crowded in there that I lost him for a second and didn't notice that he was hurt until he slumped against the wall near the door."

Jen pressed her hand to her mouth. "How bad is it?"

"It's not too bad. Your dad came down here and looked at it before and he booked him for surgery. Actually, he probably should be back down in about ten minutes to take him up because they were backed up or whatever. The bullet hit his right shoulder, so he won't be playing guitar for a while. Won't be lifting much of anything. But your dad said that once the wound heals he could get him into physical therapy a few days a week until he gets the strength back in it."

"Okay." Jen let out a sigh of relief.  "Thank god he's okay."

"Yeah. He's gonna have to spend Christmas day in the hospital though. They probably won't release him until the 27th."

"Dammit. He's going to hate that, and I know Abby really wanted him around for Christmas."

Mark nodded and smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, speaking of, where did you leave her?"

"With Maureen. She came by before the hospital called."

"Oh." Mark processed this and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Is she okay? She seems kind of sick lately."

Jen bit her lip and shrugged. "Yeah, I'm sure she's fine. Probably just a cold or the flu," she lied. 

Great, now she was lying to people. The last person she wanted to lie to was Mark, but she couldn't force Maureen to tell him about the baby. Not until she was ready to, and Jen certainly wasn't going to be the one to share that news with him.

"I guess I'll bring her something to eat later tonight then."

"Yeah, maybe you should." She looked in the trauma room. Roger was sitting up, and she could tell just by the look on his face that he was uncomfortable. "I better get in there and see how he's doing."

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "Listen, I might as well check up on Maureen and keep her some company while she watches Abby. But if you need anything else, than call me, okay? I have Roger's cell phone with me."

Jen nodded and hugged him. "Thanks Marky. I will."

*         *         *           *

Leave me a review!


	16. Pretty in Pink

CHAPTER 16

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A/N: Before I get this started, I received a review about my characterizations, which basically told me that I need to work on how they react to things. Firstly, thank you for the review, because like I've always said I appreciate all constructive criticism. I'm sorry that Jen and Maureen's reactions didn't seem realistic enough for you, but there are two things I'd like to point out.

One being, both of Jen's parents are doctors. Her mother works in the ER, and her father is a surgeon. Basically Jen has been raised around injuries and death her entire life, so she's honestly prepared for a lot of things. When the hospital called her, she assumed it was her father, but when it wasn't and they told her it was Roger, she sort of let it roll right off her shoulders. Jen's personality isn't really meant to overreact. She's had to raise Abby on her own for almost four years, and that too affects a lot of the ways she reacts to things. 

Secondly, right now Maureen believes she is pregnant with Mark's child. That's pretty much heavily weighted on her mind right now, thus causing her calmer reaction to finding out Roger was in the hospital. I didn't want either one of them (Jen or Maureen) to freak out and start getting dramatic, because I believed that was out of character for Jen, who would have to put on a braver front for Abby, and especially Maureen, with the whole pregnancy thing resting on her mind. 

Once again, I'm sorry that you didn't find my characterizations to be believable, but as an author of many other stories (not just in the RENT category), I'd have to say that I don't really see much of a problem with how I've been writing.

Just wanted to clear that up.

To my other reviewers: 

**Kelby**: I'm glad you're happy that I'm writing this again! It's always good to see you review. :o) Yes, this is the hospital where Jen's parents work, and Jen's dad is definitely Roger's surgeon. Considering he's his surgeon, you'll see how the whole HIV + issue comes up in this chapter. A lot of things are played out in this chapter. 

**EMI**: Thanks, you're a doll. :o)

**Michelle, Arch of Wand, and Amy**: Thanks guys, you are all awesome! I'm glad you're enjoying what I write.

Enjoy this chapter!

*          *           *           *     

Mark unlocked the loft door and dropped the key into his pocket. He looked over at the couch as he took of his scarf. Maureen was lying on it, her head propped up and watching a movie. Her hand was draped over her stomach and a can of ginger ale was right on the floor. She looked to be about half asleep, and considering it wasn't even ten yet, he was a little surprised.

He sat down on the other side and sure enough, Maureen was asleep. He couldn't remember the last time he had watched her sleep. It had to have been a few years by now. He remembered all the times they had just laid on the couch or in his bed, just talking, before they broke up. Then he had to go and sleep with her again and ruin whatever was left of their strained friendship completely. 

"Maureen."

She opened her eyes and yawned. "Hi," she said quietly. "Shit, did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah," he nodded. 

"Sorry. I'm just really tired." She sat up and picked the ginger ale up off the floor and took a sip out of it. "How's Roger?"

"He's okay. Probably in surgery right now."

"What happened?"

Mark retold the story. "So basically, the bullet just caught him right in his shoulder, so they're taking him up to surgery to remove it and fix some of the tissue damage. They're probably gonna sign him up for physical therapy, although he probably won't be playing his guitar for a while. He has to stay there for observations for at least two days."

"I guess I better bring him his presents tomorrow," she smiled. "I'm just glad he's okay."

"Yeah, so am I." Mark couldn't even count the number of times they all had been in and out of hospitals over the past few years—even for minor things, like the one time Mimi had tripped over Roger's guitar case and hit her head on the coffee table, resulting in a concussion. Or the time Collins accidentally tripped Roger on the stairs and he had twisted his ankle.

"Did Jen say what we're supposed to do about Abby and Christmas morning?"

Mark shook his head. "Nope. I'll give her a call later and ask her."

"Yeah." Her eyes locked back on the television screen. "I can't believe I missed half of _Pretty in Pink_. You know I used to want to be her so bad."

"Oh yeah?" Mark laughed. "I can't really picture you as Molly Ringwald."

"Never hurts to pretend."

"Hey can I ask you something?"

She shrugged and nodded. "Sure."

Mark cleared his throat and leaned back against the couch. "Are you feeling okay? You've been sick lately, haven't you?"

"Um, yeah. Sort of," she said quickly. 

"I just wanted to make sure that you weren't avoiding me because you haven't been around lately, but then Jen told me you had the stomach flu."

"Yeah." She couldn't even look at him, because she knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to hold it together long enough to convince him that she was really sick and not pregnant.

"Did you go to the doctors? I'll take you, if you need someone to go—"

"No!" Maureen blurted out. "I mean. No."

"With you," he finished. "Or not. Should I ask what's really going on?"

"Nothing. I told you, I'm just sick." She tried to ignore him and the queasy feeling in her stomach as she settled her gaze back on the movie. 

"For more than a week? I though the stomach flu just lasted a few days at most," Mark questioned, glancing over at her.

"It's a new strain," she muttered. 

"Uh huh. Cut it out Maureen, I know you're lying to me. Look, you can tell me, okay?" When she didn't say anything, he sighed. "Does this have something to do with—that night?"

"Mark…" She bit her lip and looked over at him. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried in front of him, but she sure as hell felt like letting it all go right now. She could barely even speak to him over the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Yeah?"

"Um."

Mark stared at her. "Um what? Are you okay? Seriously, if something's wrong you should tell me, I can probably help you out. Did Joanne call you? Are you upset over that?"

Maureen almost laughed at what he had just said. "No, Joanne didn't call. I told you we're finished."

"Oh. Sorry," he replied apologetically. "So is there something I can help you out with then?"

She shrugged and took another sip of the ginger ale. "You helped me out enough," she said quietly.

"What?"

"Mark…"

"What? Will you just tell me already?" he laughed.

"I um, I don't know how else to say this. I think I'm pregnant," she replied as calmly as she could.

"What?!"

"I said I think I'm pregnant. I'm late," she replied, irritated. 

"By how much?" he asked. "Jesus Christ, Maureen!"

"Look, just don't yell at me, okay? I really don't need you to yell at me right now."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Shout at you for being stupid quietly?" he questioned. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen and then back. "How could this happen? Aren't you on something? Like birth control?"

"No. And we didn't use anything. You know we didn't."

"Shit!" he shouted again. "Great. Now there's going to be a baby that I have to take care of with the money that I'm not making!"

"I'm not making much either, okay?" she shot at him. She placed her ginger ale can on the coffee table and stood up. "I'm sorry Mark. I'm so sorry."

Mark sat down and cradled his head in his hands. "How could this happen? I can't parent a fucking kid. The closest thing to taking care of a kid was Roger when he was going through withdrawal. I can't believe this."

Maureen just sat their, tears streaking her face as she looked down at her hands. "I said I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Mark. I know I ruined your life before and now I'm going to do it again," she said as she started to cry harder. "And I probably shouldn't have told you this now, because it's Christmas and everything."

"I'm Jewish," he reminded her.

"I know. I'm just sorry. I don't know what else to say to you. But you have a right to know. And if you really don't want it that much I'll just get an abortion and we'll forget that we ever slept together and that there was a baby," she sobbed. "I know that I'm a bitch and I'm dramatic and I'm a whore but I have feelings too, okay?" 

With that said, she walked away and closed the bathroom door gently behind her. Mark followed her and rested his head against the doorframe and heard the sounds of her getting sick. He immediately felt terrible for the way he treated her and the things he had said to her. Even if it was a complete shock and they weren't on the best of terms right now, Maureen was right, she did have feelings. He knew that they would eventually have a lot to think about and discuss, but he probably shouldn't have freaked out on her like he just had. Even though she could be a pain in the ass sometimes, he knew he could never live with himself knowing that there was a kid out there that was his. He could never deal with that.

He knocked lightly on the door. "Mo? Are you okay in there?"

The faucet that had been running was turned off and the door slowly opened again. Maureen walked out with a few tissues in her hand. "Yeah. Better now."

"Look," Mark started. "I just—it's a lot to take in. And I didn't mean to make you feel like shit by yelling at you. That was wrong of me. But do you understand where I'm coming from? It's the fact that one night I got really drunk, slept with you, my lesbian ex girlfriend, and you got pregnant. Because of me. Because of what we did."

She ran her fingers through her curly hair and nodded. "I know. Look, I don't know what you want me to say. I'm pregnant, and I can't change that. I can't change what we did. But we just have to face it. And I understand if you don't want to, but I have to. It's my body. I can't ignore it."

Mark let out a deep breath and sat back down on the couch. "I understand that. But how are we supposed to support it? Especially with you not working."

"I can work!" she protested. 

"No, you're definitely not working. Especially as a waitress. Do you know how dangerous that could be?"

"Well who said I'm keeping it?" she said bitterly.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't get dramatic. Do you honestly not want to keep it?"

"Do you?"

Mark sighed and motioned for her to sit down next to him. "Maureen, I'm sorry if this is wrong to say but I don't regret that night. And I sure as hell am not going to regret having this baby. I just wanted you to know that. I don't remember a whole hell of a lot that happened, but I don't regret it. "

"Okay." Se nodded slowly and pulled the ratty blanket over herself. "But you sure seemed pissed off when you found out."

"I was just really shocked. I just didn't expect something like this to happen from one night."

"Neither did I." She curled up on the end of the couch and rested her head against the pillow. "We have a lot to talk about. Especially about what happened during our relationship and when I broke up with you for Joanne. I know I hurt you, and I'm really sorry for that. But like I said, I can't change anything." She covered her mouth as she yawned.

"Yeah," Mark said quietly. "You did hurt me. But you look tired, so why don't we just talk about it in the morning?" he suggested. 

"Yeah. Well, good night Marky. And I'm sorry about everything."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. Just let me know if there's anything I can get you. And I'm sorry that I flipped out before," he apologized.

"It's okay. I understand." She reached over and turned off the light. "I haven't slept here in forever."

"It's weird," he noticed. "Why don't you go lay down in my bed? It's warmer."

She shrugged. "I'm okay. Just tired and a little nauseous. But I'll be fine when I get some sleep. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah," she smiled. 

"Thanks," he grinned. "Merry Christmas."

*            *           *              *

Jen walked into Roger's room and smiled at him. "Hey."

"Hi," he grumbled. "How are you?"

She sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in hers. "Me? How about you?" 

He made a face and shrugged. "It hurts. Like a bitch. I can't move it," he complained. "Don't even get me started."

She stretched out on the bed next to him and rested her head on his good shoulder. "Oh my poor Roger. What are we gonna do with you?" she teased.

"I'm not laughing. It really hurts. And plus I can't play for a while. You know how much that sucks?"

"I know. That means no sex for awhile too."

He looked over at her and grinned. "Bitch." He then wrapped his good arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "How's Abby?"

"Sleeping when I left. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with her on Christmas morning. I was thinking that maybe I should go back and let her open a few there, and then bring her here so she can open some with you. I think she'd like that."

He nodded. "Sorry I made a mess of Christmas."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay," she reassured him. He leaned in to kiss her and she returned it deeply.

"Ahem."

Roger broke off the kiss and looked up at Jen's father. "Sorry Mr. Walsh."

Dr. Walsh crossed his arms over his scrub top. "Ready to get upstairs to surgery Roger?" he smiled.

"I guess. Can I stay awake? I just don't like the whole idea of going to sleep and being operated on," he grimaced.

"I'll arrange that for you if you'd like. Let's just move you onto the gurney over here and we'll be on our way." Roger was helped onto the gurney and rolled towards the door with Jen following behind. 

"Come with me? At least until I get up there?" he asked her.

She grabbed his hand and nodded. "Sure."

Jen stayed with him until they reached the authorized personnel section of the operating room. She ran her fingers through Roger's hair. "You'll be fine," she added before kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you too." 

Dr. Walsh stayed behind as Roger was wheeled in. "I'd like to have a word with you in my office after I get out of surgery," he told her, pausing by the surgery prep room. 

Jen eyed him cautiously and nodded. "Okay. I'll meet you there."

About an hour later, Jen's father entered the waiting room. Jen stood up and followed him out of the door and down the hall. 

"How is he?" she asked.

"He's fine. A little groggy, but he's fine. He told me he's starving, so that's a good sign." He unlocked his office door and opened it. Jen sat down in the chair facing his desk, which was piled with case write-ups and schedules. 

"Yeah. So what did you want to talk about it?"

Dr. Walsh sat down in his chair and started tapping a pen against the desk surface. "Are you aware that Roger is HIV positive?"

"Yes." She nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure you were aware and weren't in for any surprises."

"I'm twenty five years old, I think I know how to handle surprises," she retorted. "Is that all?"

"No. My other question is, you told us that Roger is the father of Abby. Now if he's HIV positive, and she isn't, then have you been telling us the truth? Or is there something else I should know?" he questioned.

Jen sighed. "Yes. Roger is Abby's father. But he wasn't positive when I got pregnant with her."

"And are you both being careful? And is he on the triple cocktail?"

"Yes," she insisted. "We're being careful. And yes, he's on the cocktail."

Dr. Walsh leaned back in his chair. "How long has he been positive? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Jesus Christ!" she blurted out. "Because you both are doctors! Because I can't talk to you about anything like this without you stating the facts and not just listening! You want to know the why and how all the time. And you wonder why our relationship hasn't been a great one over the years."

"Jennifer, I didn't mean it like that. I just worry about you," he replied.

"Then how did you mean it?"

"Will you please calm down? And since when haven't you been able to not speak to me about anything like this?"

Jen stood up and grabbed her purse. "I stopped speaking to you about things like this when you fucking cheated on mom and when you started letting our family fall apart."

"Jennifer, stop it. Your mother and I were separated when I starting dating Wendy."

"Fine."

"Should I even ask how Roger became positive? Or do you want to keep that from me as well?"

"Roger was a junkie. What else did you really expect from him anyway? He was never good enough for me." She paused to study the look on her father's face. "Now if you'll excuse me, maybe I should go and see how my boyfriend is doing."

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Review!!


	17. Mommy and Daddy

CHAPTER 17

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! You guys are awesome!

Just a quick question: Would any of you be interested in seeing a **prequel** to this story? Not something as long as this is going to be, but maybe just a shorter background piece? Let me know what you think in your reviews. :o) 

*             *             *           *

Jen bent down to Abby's level and helped the toddler out of her coat. "Remember what I told you?"

"Uh huh."

"Then what did I say?"

"No running and jumping on Rog, and no hurting his shoulder."

"Good." Abby reached out for Jen's hand and tugged her into the hospital room.

Roger was sitting up in the bed with his jacket placed over his shoulders loosely. He was flipping through a magazine carelessly and attempting to watch the television on the wall just as Abby and Jen walked in. He looked over and grinned at them. 

"Hey."

Jen looked over her shoulder and noticed that Abby was trying to hide herself behind her legs. "Abby cut that out." When Abby didn't come out, she sighed and turned her head. "Abby."

"What?"

"Why are you hiding?"

"Cause Roger's sick."

Roger looked and Jen and tried to hide a smile. "I'm all better though. Your grandpa fixed me up."

Abby peeked around Jen's leg and looked at the sling Roger's arm was in. "Does it hurt?"

"A little. But I have medication for it." 

Abby inched in front of Jen a little bit and glanced around nervously at all the machines in the room. "What do they do?"

"Make you better," Jen responded. "How about we get Roger out of here so we can all go home and open the presents that you didn't want to open yesterday?"

"What's this I hear about you not wanting to open presents?" Roger asked Abby as Jen helped him out of the bed. She wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder before allowing Abby to lead them both out the door.

"But you weren't there. Uncle Mark said you go hurt real bad," she said, looking up at him sadly.

Roger sighed and linked his free hand through Abby's smaller one. "We've got to work on Uncle Mark's people skills," he laughed. "But I only got hurt a little bit. Plus I'll be good as new in a few weeks."

"Promise?" she asked him.

"Promise. Then I'll take you out somewhere, just you and me."

Ten minutes later they were buckled into Jen's car, heading back to the loft. Jen looked in the rearview mirror before looking at Roger. "I have to talk to you later."

"Ooh about what?" Abby giggled.

"About something not for your ears," Jen smiled at her. "But yeah, like I said, I have to talk to you about something."

"Everything okay?" he asked her, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes and no." She dropped her voice a little bit. "I got into a fight with my dad in his office that day you went in for surgery, but that's not what I want to talk about. It's about Maureen."

"Yeah? What'd she do now? Or who?" he laughed.

Jen sighed and turned onto Avenue B. "Roger, stop."

"Why?" he laughed. "God she's such a—"

"Shh!" Jen motioned to Abby. She was intently trying to listen to their conversation from the backseat. "Drop it."

"Fine," he said moodily. 

Jen parked the car and slid her key out of the ignition. "Are you going to pout because I told you that you can't make fun of Maureen?"

"No." He opened the car door and got out before opening up Abby's. "I'm just trying to point out that me and her can't get along. Not since what she did to Mark." He watched Abby skip ahead of him and looked over at Jen. "I'm telling you, she's a real bitch."

"Well you're gonna have to get used to seeing her more around the loft."

He pulled out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about!" She pulled her hair out of its holder and shook it out. Her hair reached just past her shoulders before she twisted it up again. 

"What the fuck are you shouting at me for?" 

"I'm not shouting at you. You just don't listen sometimes!" 

"Mommy can I have juice?" 

Jen pushed the door open and nodded. "Go sit in your room for a few minutes, okay?"

"Am I in trouble?"

"No. I just need to tell Roger something."

"Okay." Abby walked away happily, clutching her stuffed pink panther.

Roger sat down on the couch and propped his arm up on a pillow. "So what do you have to tell me?"

"Mark's not here is he?" Jen checked the bedroom and bathroom. "Nope. Okay."

"Okay?" Roger laughed. "I'm guessing that Mark's not supposed to be here when you tell me this?"

"You know that party you had a few weeks back?"

Roger nodded and lit the cigarette. "Yeah, when a bunch of my friends from the band come over. When Joey and Kyle were here. Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"You know how Maureen showed up that night?"

He blew out the smoke into the room and shrugged. "Sort of. I was kind of wasted by that time."

"Kind of?" Jen laughed. "Well Maureen showed up to talk to Mark. Joanne moved to Seattle that day and none of us have really heard from her since. She got a job as district attorney or something like that."

"And?"

"Can you at least try to be compassionate for Maureen's sake?" Jen hissed at him. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat down on the coffee table. "Well that night, Mark and Maureen both got drunk. I mean **drunk**, Roger. The next morning Mark tells me they slept together by accident. Except he didn't regret it."

Roger just stared at her and crushed the almost new cigarette out in the ashtray. "So he couldn't come to me and tell me this?"

"He knows you hate Maureen."

"Yeah so? He knew I didn't like her when they were going out the first time either and he still talked to me about her."

"That's not the point. I'm not done," she argued back at him.

"Then tell me. Marky is still a sucker for Maureen. I knew this. Everyone knows this. It's not a big surprise. He'd do anything for her," Roger answered.

"Just shut up and let me finish."

"Okay."

"Maureen came to me a few weeks after that and tells me she thinks she's pregnant."

"Holy shit!" Roger shouted. "What?"

Jen rolled her eyes. "Shh. So I went with her to get a test and she is."

"She is?"

"She is."

Roger scratched his head. "She is?"

"Yes, she is," Jen answered him.

"She is?"

"Roger! Yes!" She laughed at him. "She's going to the doctor today."

"Oh." Roger looked down at the seam of the couch. "So Mark's okay with this?"

"I don't know. I haven't really seen a lot of Mark the past few days. I think he's trying to avoid anyone whose name doesn't start with an "M". He figures that if he's not around, we can't ask him questions. He's Marky. You can read him like a book," she yawned.

"Yeah right. Stop yawning, you're making me tired," Roger complained. "Hey did Wes call?"

Jen nodded. "Yeah. He and some of the other guys are planning on stopping by sometime this week. They told me they'd call you."

"Oh okay. Hopefully I'll be okay by the end of January. We have a string of gigs lined up one after the other. It'll really get our name out there."

"That's great babe," she smiled at him. "Take those, and take two of these after that." She handed him his AZT bottle and the painkillers for his shoulder.

"Can you be my nurse?"

"Sorry, you're not a doctor," she teased. "But I will anyway because I'm supposed to be in love with you."

"Supposed to?" he laughed. "Hey did Abby fall asleep? It's quiet."

"I don't know." Jen opened the door to the bedroom and smiled. Abby was stretched out on the floor, clutching a stuffed animal. She was fast asleep. "That would be a yes."

"Really? That kid sleeps better than I do."

"Oh shut up! I let you sleep until you damn well feel like getting up," she retorted.

"True." Roger yawned and patted the couch. "You and me have a date on this baby."

"Oh yeah?" She sat down and leaned against his shoulder. "Better make it a quick nap because I still have to take a shower."

"We have a date in there too." He winked at her and tried to kiss her nose. "I'll get you really clean."

"Hey!"

*              *            *              *  

Mark glanced his watch just as he exited the subway station with Maureen. "So how do you know this doctor again?"

"Through my sister. She went to her when she was pregnant with all of her kids, so I figured that if she liked her, then I might." Maureen zipped up her jacket a little bit more as the bitter wind hit her right in the face.

"Oh. Okay." Mark shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the sidewalk. "Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah. I feel okay. Just tired again," she answered him. She stopped outside a well-kept office building and pulled open the door. "This is it."

"Okay." Mark followed her inside and shifted nervously on his feet. Maureen made her way up to the receptionist to sign in and sign the papers, leaving Mark to just survey the waiting room. It wasn't very crowded, but there were a few women who looked pretty close to their due dates, and that just made him even more nervous. A part of him wished that he had just stayed home like Maureen had told him to, but he really was trying to be supportive of her right now, and this wasn't such of a bad place to start.

Maureen walked back over to him with the papers and started filling out all the important insurance information. She signed a few things and then paused in the middle of one form. "They want the name of the father," she noted to him.

"Oh." He glanced down at the paper. "That's fine."

"What's your middle name?" she asked quietly.

"Elijah." 

"Okay." She scanned the bottom quickly. "You have to sign right there."

He took the pen from her and scrawled his name on the bottom. "Yeah."

She bit her lip and got up to take the papers back to the receptionist quickly before sitting again. "Mark I'm sorry. I feel like such an idiot for dragging you here and then I don't even know your middle name! We were together for almost a year and, I don't know," she finished sadly.

"Hey it's okay. It's not a big deal. I didn't know yours was Elizabeth either," he tried to joke.

This at least produced a smile from her. "Yeah. It's my grandmother's name."

They were both silent for the rest of the wait, and then a nurse walked into the room. 

"Miss Johnson? Doctor Warner can see you now."

Maureen stood up and Mark stayed behind. "Um. Do you mind coming with me?"

"Oh no. I just thought that you might want me to stay here."

She shrugged and he stood up, adjusting his scarf around his neck. "I just really hate being in these places alone."

"It's fine."

Maureen and Mark followed the nurse down the hall and into a small exam room. "Just change into that and she'll be right in to see you."

Mark sat down in a chair in the corner and tried to avoid glancing at Maureen as she changed into the gown. She was still beautiful to him—even after all their history together. "So."

"So." She sat down on the edge of the table. "It's always so damn cold in these places."

"Yeah," he laughed. "Do you want my coat? It's warmer."

"Thanks." She took it from him and slipped it on. "That's better."

The door to the exam room creaked open again and a middle aged woman walked in with a clipboard. "Hi Maureen, I'm Doctor Warner."

"Hi."

"So what brings you to my office today?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant." Maureen tried to avoid looking at Mark as she said this. 

"Okay. Well I'll run a few tests and check a few things out. The blood work probably won't come back for about two days, but I can do my best to tell by the exam."

Maureen spent the next hour getting examined by the doctor and having the proper tests done. Mark waited patiently in the chair, even getting up to hold her hand when she had to have blood drawn. 

They were completely finished by noon. Mark waited by the door with Maureen's coat as she signed a few more papers and set up her next appointment.

"That wasn't so bad," he smiled at her as she slipped her coat on.

"Yeah right. I thought I was going to pass out when they were taking the blood from me," she shuddered.

"You? How about me?" He pushed open the office door and the headed back down the sidewalk. 

"I wish they used the butterfly needles instead. You know, the ones they use on the babies?"

Mark shook his head and passed through the turn style. "Okay Maureen."

"What?" she smiled. They boarded the train and took two seats near the middle of the train. They passed a few stops before she managed to say anything. "So."

"So."

"I'm really pregnant."

"Yeah. You really are. Unless the blood tests say anything different two days from now."

"Yeah." She leaned back against the seat. "So we're gonna be parents."

"We are." He looked out the window into the black tunnel. "Nervous?"

"It hasn't really hit me yet. You?" she asked him.

"Shitting bricks," he joked. 

Maureen laughed and shoved him playfully. "That sounds like something Roger would say."

"That's probably where I got it from."

"I guess I'm going to have to cut back on my shifts at the Life." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well I guess if you want to. You're not even really five weeks yet."

"I know. But I have to tell my boss sooner or later. Are you sure we'll make it with just you working? Because I really don't have to quit," she told him.

"We'll make it," Mark said. "I just don't think it's all that safe for you to be waiting tables and carrying dishes and everything."

"Okay. Then I'll let my boss know."

The rest of the ride was completed in silence until Maureen piped up again.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?" He glanced over.

"Thanks for being supportive and coming with me. I didn't think you would."

"I'm sort of glad I did."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. "Thanks Marky."

"No problem."

*          *          *          *

Review!!


	18. Kiss Me at Midnight

CHAPTER 18

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! I'm glad to see you guys are enjoying it, because I enjoy writing it.

There'll be a few twists coming up, so keep an eye out for them, as well as some more Roger/Abby interaction, along with more of Mark and Maureen.

Just a reminder:

**Travis, Wes, and Evan**: Members of the Well Hungarians.

*          *          *         *

DECEMBER 31, 1997 

"Jen!"

"What?" She stuck her head out of the bedroom door, hairbrush between her teeth. 

"Can you hurry up and wash this out for me? It's itching."

Abby giggled. "How come Roger's head itches?"

Jen finished pulling Abby's hair back into a ponytail and twirled her around in a circle. "Because he's a big baby and needed to get his hair dyed. But the bleach itches after awhile."

"Oh." Abby walked out of the bedroom and sat down on the couch, just as the loft door opened.

Mark and Maureen walked in with two bags of groceries. Mark took the second bag from Maureen and handed her a can of ginger ale instead. Jen automatically walked over to Maureen and motioned for her to follow her onto the fire escape.

"You're doing Roger's hair?" Maureen laughed.

Jen rolled her eyes and leaned against the railing. "Yeah. He's such a baby about it. 'Ow Jen, it burns!' or 'My head itches!' every other minute. God you think by now he'd know that it has to set or it won't look right."

"Or he could just look like a pumpkin." Maureen popped the top off of the can and took a sip of it. "I don't know why he keeps dyeing it. He should just leave it be. It's not like it looks terrible with the roots showing."

"Yeah I know." Jen glanced at the can of ginger ale. "So how are you feeling? Honestly?"

Maureen shrugged and sighed. "It depends. This morning I felt horrible, but then I went back to sleep for a few hours and Mark came down to try to make me something to eat that I could actually handle. Then we just ended up going to the store to get food and drinks for tonight. Even enough six packs of beer to last Roger's band."

"Sleep always helped me. Then it just started all over again," she winced. "But it gets better. Definitely by the end of February you should be done with the whole morning sickness thing."

"Sooner the better."

"So how's Mark taking the news?"

"He's okay with it. He was angry at first, but I think he was angrier at what happened between us in the past then what happened that night. But when we went to the doctor that day to find out for sure, he was really supportive. I think he's doing okay. He's been hanging out at my place a lot."

Jen smiled. "That's Marky. Always trying to help everyone else but himself out. Have you heard from Joanne?"

Maureen nodded slowly. "She called me yesterday to let me know that she'll be in town this weekend. Apparently she has some vacation time saved up already and she'll be visiting her parents in Long Island."

"She wants to see you?"

"Yeah." Maureen took another sip of her drink. "She wanted to go out to lunch so we could "talk" about us. Which I'm not feeling up for, but she's Joanne. Bossy, demanding, and anal."

"Are you going?"

"I think so. But I'm not interested at any sort of make up between us. We can be friends, but now things are a lot different. Considering the situation with Mark and that I'm pregnant. So I don't really know."

Jen gave her a comforting hug. "You'll be okay sweetie. I promise. It's New Year's Eve. We'll have fun."

"Yeah I know. I'm just feeling overwhelmed I guess," she smiled at her.

"You guys okay out here?" Mark had stuck his head out the sliding door.

Maureen nodded. "Yeah we're fine. I'll talk to you later Jen." 

"Sure." 

Maureen followed Mark back into the loft, and Jen made her way into the bathroom. Roger was glancing in the mirror. He was drumming his fingers along the sink and staring at his hair impatiently. He looked over at Jen when he noticed her come and shot her a look. 

"Can I wash this out now?"

"Yes." He walked over to the shower and she had him lean up against the side of the bathtub in a way that wouldn't hurt his shoulder. "God are you impatient."

"When your scalp is on fire you come talk to me," he grinned at her.

She turned the faucet on and started rinsing out the dye, making sure to massage his head as she did so. "Better?"

"God yea. Can you get behind my ear? Yeah. Right there."

"You're so funny," she laughed at him. He sat up and she started toweling off his head. 

"Why's that?"

"Because you just had surgery on your shoulder and you care about what you hair looks like. Then when you actually get me to dye your hair, you whine that it itches and it burns."

"Sorry." He stood up carefully and walked into the living room. Jen followed and dropped the towel into the laundry basket. 

Maureen was standing in the kitchen at the counter, trying to fix herself a chicken sandwich. She glared at Roger when she realized that he was staring at her with a smirk on his face.

"What's your problem?"

"Nothing. How you feeling Mo?"

"I'm great, yourself?" she said sarcastically.

"Want to make me a sandwich while you're at it?"

She rolled her eyes and dropped the knife she had been using into the sink. "Not really."

"Just asking."

"Well can you at least be less of a pain in the ass about it. God Roger." Maureen took her sandwich and curled up onto the couch with it next to Abby.

"What are you eating Aunt Mo?" Abby asked her curiously.

"A chicken sandwich. Want some?" she offered her.

Abby nodded. "What's on it?"

"Just chicken on a roll. No lettuce or mayonnaise or anything of that yucky stuff, I promise."

"Okay." 

Maureen handed Abby one half of the sandwich and a napkin. "There ya go."

"Thanks." She took a bite of it and looked over at Roger. "Hey Dad, you want some?"

Jen almost dropped the glass of soda she was holding onto the floor and looked back at Roger. Roger just stared at her, then to Abby. Abby had finally said it. After over a month of living in the loft with him, she had called him Dad. He hadn't expected her to say it this soon, but nothing could take away the feeling that washed over him when she did. He was glad she had, because he was starting to worry that all the pushing Jen had done to get her to finally say it had failed. 

Maureen covered her mouth and stifled a laugh. Roger had turned pale, and Jen was resting her hand on his good shoulder. "Seriously you two look like you just saw a ghost."

"Daddy I asked you if you wanted some!" Abby said louder, waving the sandwich half towards him.

"Yeah **DAD**, do you want some?" Maureen laughed. She looked back over to Mark, who had just walked out of his room. 

He sat down in between Maureen and Abby and looked around. "What'd I miss?"

Maureen leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Abby finally said the "D" word."

"Really?" he whispered back. He laughed and looked down at Abby. "Are you gonna finish that sandwich or what?"

Roger cleared his throat and walked over to the couch. He intercepted the sandwich and took a huge bite out of it before Mark could even get his fingers on it. "Sorry. It's a dad thing only."

"Did you forget that I'm gonna be a dad soon too? I mean—shit!" he laughed. Mark looked over at Maureen and she shrugged at him. 

"You're gonna be a dad too?" Abby practically squealed at him. "Where's your baby?"

Roger laughed and squeezed in on the couch next to Abby. "Christ Mark, when were you planning on telling me? I'm surprised I didn't hear it through Benny or anything."

"Yeah, sorry. I've been busy and I guess I figured you already knew because of Jen," Mark grinned sheepishly. 

"I did know because of Jen," Roger muttered through a mouthful of chicken. "But I was waiting for you to say something to me so I could bust out the cigars and vodka shots," he joked.

"Where's Uncle Mark's baby?" Abby asked. She looked up at Roger and then to Jen. "Mom?"

"In my tummy sweetie," Maureen told her. "You'll see him or her in about eight months."

"That's a long time."

Jen sat down on Roger's lap and started playing with Abby's hair. "Well that's how long you were in my stomach. And then you were born."

"So Uncle Mark and Aunt Maureen's baby is gonna be born too?"

"Yup," Mark agreed.

"But how did a baby get there?" she continued curiously.

"Isn't it a little early for this conversation?" Mark started laughing. "You handle this one Rog."

Jen shook her head. "Hell no. There's no way he's handling this one. You never know what might slip out of his mouth," she teased him.

Roger leaned in and kissed her. "You're funny."

"Good. So anyway, what's going on tonight? The guys coming over?" Jen started playing with Roger's earrings.

"Yeah. Wes and Lori are bringing the baby and she's walking so we need to make sure everything is up high so she can't reach it. Evan and Travis are coming later tonight," he answered her.

"Oh yeah, and Collins called. He's bringing someone with him tonight," Mark chewed. He had finally managed to get a hold of a piece of Maureen's sandwich.

"A someone someone? Or a someone?" Roger asked.

"I don't know. Just someone."

"God, can you guys speak in terms we can understand?" Maureen asked.

"Nah, because that's against the rules," Roger joked. "But thanks for your sandwich. It was great."

*             *          *           *

"Roger get the door!" Jen hollered across the living room.

"I'm getting changed!"

She dumped a bag of potato chips into a plastic bowl and handed it to Mark. "They're your friends!"

"I don't think they want to see me naked on New Year's Eve!"

Jen sighed and pulled at her necklace to get it straight. Abby wandered over to her and tugged on the edge of Jen's black tee shirt. "Mom?"

"Where do I go?"

"You can stay here with us if you want to. Or you can watch a movie with Mark and Maureen later." 

"Okay." Abby walked away and Jen brushed off the top of her jeans. She pulled open the door to find Collins and another man with strawberry blonde hair standing on the doormat. "Hey."

"Hi." Collins leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Jen, this is my friend Logan."

"Nice to meet you." Logan stuck out his hand and Jen shook it. She smiled at the trace of his Irish accent. 

"Same here." She glanced at the bottle of wine that he was holding and the tray of shrimp and appetizers that Collins had. "Let me take those for you."

"Let me help you out." Logan handed her the wine and took the tray from Collins. "I'll see you in there."

"Alright. It's about time I found out what the hell Roger's been up to anyway." Collins smiled at him and headed for the bedroom.

Logan followed Jen into the kitchen and watched her put the wine on the counter. "You might want to slip these in the refrigerator. It's fish, it spoils and it can be disgusting," he laughed.

"Good idea." She placed the tray in the fridge and turned back to him. "So how did you and Collins meet?"

"Well I own a pub close to NYU, and one night Collins happened to drop by to have a few drinks and grade papers and we just started talking. We just sort of hit it off from there I guess."

"He's a great guy. Used to be one of my old professors a few years back."

"Oh yeah?"

Jen and Logan made conversation for a few more minutes while she finished setting up the appetizers. It turned out that Logan was actually a certified chef and not only owned the pub, but also actually made the food with his family. Pretty soon he had showed her a few creative ways to arrange her dishes and actually started whipping up a few things of his own in the kitchen.

She walked out with the shrimp and set it on the table. "Collins, you didn't tell me you brought me a chef tonight," she laughed.

"Let me guess, you left him alone in the kitchen and he's already cooking something for tonight?" Collins smirked, taking a sip out of his beer.

"Yea, pretty much. He seems like a great guy."

"He is. I really like him a lot."

"That's great," Jen smiled at him and knocked on Roger's bedroom door. "Are you actually coming out sometime tonight, or do I have to drag you out?"

"I'm coming," he grumbled. "I can't find anything I like to wear."

Collins laughed and motioned for Jen to help him out. Abby had just climbed onto his lap and was eating chips out of the bowl. "You're such a girl!"

*            *           *              *

By eleven, the party had started slowly spiraling out of control. The Well Hungarians had been rationing out drinks to the best of their ability, although Jen had been controlling most of Roger's because of the medication his was on for his shoulder. 

Jen looked back over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen. She started piling the empty beer bottles to the side and almost started cleaning up everything that had been left out on the counters but figured she might as well leave it for tomorrow. 

"Hey Jen! Do you have anymore of this pie!" Wes shouted out.

"God you are such a pig," his wife Lori laughed at him.

"Yeah I have some in here!" Jen answered back.

Wes shoved Travis in his shoulder and pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "Dude, can you go and get the rest of the pie. It's fucking awesome."

Travis stood up and rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever," he slurred. He stood up and stumbled more than walked into the kitchen to try to locate the pie that Wes and everyone else wanted. 

"Hey sexy," he grinned at her stupidly. 

Jen looked cautiously at him as he grabbed another beer from the fridge. She dropped the stack of paper plates she was holding and bent down to pick them up. But as she came up, she slammed right into his chest and realized that his lips were inches from hers. 

"Pie's in the fridge." She tried to step aside to avoid him but he blocked her path.

"You're really gorgeous, you know that?"

"And taken, remember? I'm Roger's girlfriend?"

"I fucking know that." Travis dropped his hand to rest on her waist and she pulled away quickly.

"Can you cut that out?" 

"Cut what out?"

"That! What you were just doing."

He popped the top off of the beer and took a sip out of it. "This too?" His hand lazily climbed up her stomach to her chest where he held it for a split second.

"What the fuck Travis!" she hissed at him. "Get off."

"Whatever. I bet Davis is lousy in bed anyway."

She pulled his hand away roughly and he dropped his beer bottle. The glass shattered on the tiled floor and the liquid started spreading all around. "Well that's for me to know, isn't it?"

"What was that?" Collins asked.

Travis smirked at her and started heading back towards the living room. "But I bet you're great. What I wouldn't do to have a piece of that," he slurred. 

Jen heard his footsteps disappear onto the carpet and rolled her eyes. She grabbed the paper towels from the counter and tossed a handful of them onto the spill and started carefully wiping the glass and beer up. 

"You okay in here? What happened?" Roger had kneeled down beside her. He grabbed the paper towels and started helping her clean the mess up.

"Nothing. Travis just dropped his beer bottle and it broke." She tossed the wet paper towels into the garbage and stood up.

Roger wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head. "You sure?"

"Yeah." She looked over at Travis as she said this. "I'm sure."

"Okay," he grinned. "Come on. Ten minutes until the ball drops."

*            *            *               *

Mark walked back into his bedroom and handed Maureen a glass of sparkling cider. "I figured that's about as close as you could get."

She lifted her head off the pillow and smiled at him. "Thanks Marky."

Mark sat back down on his bed and adjusted the volume on the television. Three minutes left until the ball would drop in Times Square and they'd all be thrusted into another new year. Hopefully this one would be an improvement from the last one. They had lost Mimi this past year, but they had also gained a lot of things as well. Roger had gotten a steady job and was playing more bang gigs. Jen had come back to the East Village with Abby. Maureen and him were about to become parents. He realized as he sat there in the dark room—the only light coming from the televised festivities at Times Square—that this year had more potential then he ever had thought possible.

"So do you want to go to sleep after this?" he asked her. He noticed that she was fading fast the more the hour had progressed and figured that she'd be asleep by 12:30 latest.

"Sounds good to me." She rested her head on his shoulder.

He hesitated before wrapping his arm around her shoulders, but realized that he had not much to gain and nothing to lose by doing so. "It's dropping."

"Yeah it is," she smiled. "1998. I wonder if it'll be any different than 1997."

Mark heard Roger and everyone else in the living room shouting and hollering at the top of their lungs, along with banging random things across the tables and in the room. "Sounds like they're having fun."

"Who wants to have fun with them anyway?" she laughed. "This is the only kind of New Year's Eve I need. A nice, relaxing one."

"I'll drink to that." He took her sparkling cider and sipped it. "To the New Year, to the baby, and I guess—"

"To us?" she threw in, glancing up at him. "Yeah. Why the hell not. To us!" She took a sip from the same glass. "Cheers."

"Five, four, three, two, one…" 

_"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_

"Now friends or not, I think the rule is you're supposed to get kissed at midnight," Mark grinned at her.

"Then what are you waiting for?" she laughed. 

Mark leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Maureen reached her hands up and placed them on his neck and kissed him back, first softly, but then more deeply and with increased passion. 

"That's one hell of a new year's kiss," she breathed, pulling away.

"You got that right."

Roger opened the bedroom door just then and smiled. "Happy New Year guys!" He had his hand linked through Jen's and Abby was peeking out from behind his legs. "Everyone's heading up to the roof. You guys coming or what?"

Mark looked over to Maureen. "Want to go?"

"Sure. Let me get my jacket."

Collins entered the bedroom, holding an open bottle of wine and had one arm linked through Logan's. "Should auld acquaintance be forget, and never brought to mind! Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne!" he warbled, horribly off key. 

"Uh oh," Maureen giggled as she followed everyone out the door with Mark.

Collins took another sip from the bottle and started singing again on his way up the stairs. "For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne! We'll take a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne!"

Maureen wandered over to the edge of the building with Mark and sighed. "Happy New Year Mark. It'll be a happy one, right?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist. "You bet."

At the other end of the roof, Roger had his arms wrapped around Jen's waist and was planting kisses all over her neck and face. "Kiss me at midnight," he sang to her.

"What's with you and everyone singing tonight?" she laughed. He kissed her and she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Happy New Year Roger Davis."

"Happy New Year," he laughed. He bent down and kissed Abby on the cheek. "And Happy New Year to you too."

"Was that my kiss?" she asked.

"You bet is was."

*            *              *               *

Review!


	19. Nothing Pure

CHAPTER 19

*         *       *        *

Jen shifted the bag of groceries in her arms. "Are you sure you don't want me to take that one from you?"

Maureen shook her head as they waited for the "Do Not Walk" signal to change. "No it's okay. I can hold it. I'm pregnant, not disabled." She made sure the bread wasn't sticking out of the top of her bag as they crossed the street. 

"Sorry," Jen smiled at her. "I just want you to be careful because of the ice."

"Yeah it's fine."

They walked on in silence, until they reached Tompkins Square Park. "How's Mark?"

Maureen brushed a strand of hair out of her eye and shrugged. "I haven't really talked to him in a few days."

"Are you avoiding him?" Jen asked curiously.

"I guess you could say that." She coughed and rested the grocery bag against her hip. "Maybe."

"Oh."

"I just don't really know if trying to be more than friends with him is where I really want to be right now."

"Well there's really not some unwritten rule that states that you have to be anything with the father of your child," Jen reminded her.

"Yeah I know that. But it's hard when—ah never mind." Maureen continued walking, obviously frustrated with herself.

"Yeah."

"It's just that Roger always used to tell me that he was "a sucker for me". Even after all the time that had passed and when I was with Joanne, I guess it's still true. If you look at it, he really hasn't had a steady girlfriend since me—since we broke up."

"Mark always has been one to function better by himself."

"What do you mean?"

Jen shrugged her shoulders. "I mean that he wasn't really the type to just have a one night stand and leave it at that, although you probably see the irony in that now, but I'm really not trying to be funny," she laughed. "But like I just said, he's always searched for something more with women—something he could latch on to. I think he just really needs somebody that would be there for him. Someone he doesn't have to worry about running off with another guy."

"Well it looks like I don't meet those requirements. Not anymore," Maureen replied miserably.

"Look, I don't really know the whole story of you and Mark, or what happened between you guys to make you end your relationship. I left months before then. But I do have a pretty good idea at what you're getting at, and all I can say is that time definitely heals all wounds. Believe me. You try dating Roger and see how sane you are."

"Yeah well, you didn't cheat on Roger," she mumbled. 

"No, but he did cheat on me," Jen corrected her.

"I cheated on Mark."

"Roger cheated on me. If I can forgive Roger, then Mark can forgive you. And believe me, by the way he talks about you, he probably already has."

Maureen nodded. "I guess I'll save the story of me and Mark for another day, if you're up to hearing it."

"Sure."

They reached the corner of Avenue B and started heading in the direction of the loft. "Can I ask you something?"

Jen checked her cell phone quickly and nodded. "Yeah."

"How long did it take you to forgive Roger?" Maureen placed her hands in her pockets. 

Jen thought about this for a minute. "I don't really know how long it took me to forgive him. I was angry with him for a long time—for getting me pregnant and then cheating on me, for letting me raise Abby all alone, for never being there for me. For a while it was almost as if we both vanished without a trace. I called him maybe once and ended up hanging up on him because he was such an asshole to me. I talked to Mark maybe once or twice over those three years I was living on my own. Basically because I didn't want to get involved with Roger again. I guess I needed the space."

"Yeah. I know how you feel. When I was with Joanne I sort of figured that I'd be able to hide out from everybody. I was wrong."

Jen started climbing the stairs behind Maureen. "So why are you avoiding Mark really? Is it just because you don't want to see him?"

"I'm not really sure. He kissed me again last night," she said quietly.

Jen smiled at this. "Collins kissed me too on New Year's. Tongue and all," she laughed. "He was very happy with his wine and beer last night. That and his rendition of "Auld Lang Syne" won't live down for awhile."

"Oh I know. Collins really loses his head when he drinks like that, but it's good to see him have fun and loosen up. Right after Mark, he's probably the most serious out of all of us. And that Logan guy was pretty cute," Maureen acknowledged.

"He was. It's good for Collins just to find someone, even if they're just friends like him and Logan are."

Maureen turned around and smiled. "At least for now."

Jen placed the groceries by the door and unlocked it before picking them up again. "Empty house."

"The best kind." Maureen started unpacking the groceries and putting them in the proper places. "Where is everyone?"

Jen tossed the fruit in the bottom bin of the fridge. "Roger's at physical therapy for his shoulder."

"With Maura from downstairs?" Maureen was referring to Maura Bennett, a woman who lived on the third floor with her boyfriend Jake, a firefighter. Maura was a physical therapist and worked at the same hospital Jen's parents did. 

"Yeah. She's in charge of his therapy." Jen poured herself a glass of water. "Abby's at my mom's for the weekend because she wanted to see my sister Erica, and Mark's at work."

"Okay." She glanced at the clock quickly. "I have to meet Joanne for lunch in about an hour."

"Good luck."

Maureen took a sip out of Jen's glass. "Thanks. I think I'll be needing it."

Jen placed her soda on the counter and motioned for Maureen to be quiet. "Do you hear that?"

"No." Maureen shook her head.

"Listen."

The sound of someone singing and various guitar riffs could be heard from somewhere in the apartment, although Jen didn't think it was coming from inside.

 "If that's Roger I'm going to kill him. He's supposed to be at physical therapy! He knows he's not supposed to be playing until he gets the okay from the doctor!"

Maureen tried to stifle a laugh. "Let's think about this. There's only one ambitious rock star wannabe in this building and we all know who that is. But I think it's coming from the fire escape," she smirked. "And maybe he got home early?"

Jen crossed from the kitchen and made it halfway towards the door before she pointed at a puddle of liquid on the carpet. "Jesus! There's fucking beer all over the place."

"The bottle got knocked off the coffee table." Maureen bent down to pick it up and frowned. "Gross. Sticky beer."

"Yeah, wonderful. God if I find out he invited those assholes over here I'm going to kill him," she muttered again. "He could at least fucking let me know every once in awhile. Because then I have to clean up the beer and air out the place because it smells like pot."

"He's started smoking pot again?" Maureen questioned. "Since when?"

Jen shrugged. "No clue. If he does do it he's pretty good at getting rid of the evidence." She pulled open the sliding door to the deck that connected to the fire escape. Sure enough, Roger, Wes, Travis, and Evan were scattered there, smoking and drinking beer. Roger even had his guitar propped up against his legs. 

Roger looked up and handed the joint he was holding quickly to Wes. "Hey baby."

Jen stared at him. "Don't hey me." She glanced down at the guitar at his feet, then back to the joint in Wes' hand. "What are you doing with that? And that?"

"Nothing. We were just hanging out."

"Yeah right." She slammed the door and walked back into the kitchen. Maureen was still putting a few things away in the cabinets.

"Sweetie what happened?" she asked her.

"Nothing." Jen started pulling dishes out of the sink and banging them onto the counter. "Do you want something to eat before you leave?"

Maureen stared at her curiously. "No, remember I told you I'm going to **lunch** with Joanne?"

Jen rubbed her head and nodded. "Yeah, sorry."

They both heard the sliding door open and slam shut loudly, and then Roger appeared in the kitchen. "What the fuck is your problem?" he shouted at Jen angrily. 

"I'm not getting into this with you right now," she answered him. "Go take a walk and check your attitude at the door."

"It was just one joint!" he argued at her. "Just one!"

"Oh, just one? So what am I supposed to do when it becomes more than "just one"? Answer me that one Roger!" 

"It won't become more than just one! We were just having a good time!"

"You promised me that when I moved in you wouldn't do this. You promised," she shot back at him. "If I knew you were going to pull this I would have stayed in my apartment."

"You wouldn't have been able to pay the rent!" He sat down next to Maureen. 

"We would have been able to get by."

Roger laughed at this and crossed his arms over his chest. "By what? Stripping?"

Maureen stood up just then and grabbed her coat. "I better get going. It's almost one."

"I'll see you later Mo. Tell me how it goes," Jen answered her. 

"I will. You guys aren't going to kill each other or anything while I'm gone, are you?" she grinned.

Roger rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Jen pointed to the fire escape and glared at him. "I want them out of here. Please. So I can at least get some work done. And clean up after you."

"I'm going with them then."

"Whatever you want to do Roger. Go roll some more joints. I don't really care right now."

"You never really care Jen! That's your fucking problem."

Jen heard a loud thud and the sound of something banging along the metal stairs outside. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know!" Roger said to her, frustrated. He had his hand on the sliding door at this point.

Jen rushed over to the loft door and pulled it open. She walked out into the hallway to try to figure out where the noise had come from.

"Oh my god! Maureen!" 

Roger ran to the door when he heard the urgency of Jen's voice. "Shit! Are you okay?"

Maureen was sitting in the middle of the stairway, one hand resting on her back. She appeared to have fallen down a good portion of the stairs and landed awkwardly on the middle rungs. 

"Yeah. Ow, I'm okay. I just slipped on the ice," she said quietly. 

Jen winced when she saw the thick ice patches resting on some of the steps. "Jesus, do you think you broke anything? Let me call your doctor and let her know we're coming in."

"No, you really don't have to do that," Maureen protested. Roger climbed down the stairs and helped her up carefully, making sure to wrap one arm around her waist to support her. "Ow!"

"Where does it hurt?" he asked her. 

"My back. I think I did a pretty good job of falling."

Roger helped her sit down at the top of the stairs. "We should really get you to the hospital and make sure the baby's okay."

"Oh god! The baby!" Maureen covered her mouth and started crying. "I can't believe I was so stupid to fall down the stairs! I didn't even really watch where I was going! I was just in a hurry to get to the restaurant to meet Joanne for lunch," she sobbed.

Jen sat down and rubbed Maureen's back. "It's okay. We'll get you to the hospital to get you checked out. But remember that the baby's pretty well protected in there, okay? So he or she is probably fine."

Maureen wiped at her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. You're right. I think I twisted my wrist."

Jen grabbed the car keys off the coffee table and pocketed her cell phone. "Let's go. I'll drive." She shot a glare at Roger when she said this.

Roger helped her back down the stairs. "Let me see it." He tried moving her wrist one way but she pulled it away from him.

"Ow! Asshole," she hissed sharply.

"Christ, sorry." He dropped Maureen's wrist and helped her into the backseat. "Let me drive."

"Hell no."

"Jen."

"I'm driving."

*            *           *              *

"Are you sure you're feeling fine? Can I get you anything? We could go back to even double check with the doctor—"

"Mark, I said I'm fine! The doctor just said I'm fine! I just had an accident and fell down the stairs!" Maureen practically shouted at him. "I'm okay."

Jen tossed the car keys onto the counter and took off her jacket. Roger followed and silently did the same. After checking into the ER earlier that afternoon, Maureen had been hooked up to a monitor to check the baby's vital signs and stats. After two hours, the doctors were convinced that both she and the baby were physically okay, and sent Maureen upstairs to get an x ray of her wrist. It turned out that she had only sprained it and would have to have to keep it wrapped for about two weeks. 

"Alright, sorry," Mark apologized. Maureen nodded and sat down gently on the couch, placing a pillow behind her back. "What do you guys want to do for dinner?"

Jen shrugged and walked into the bedroom. She pulled a few shirts and two pairs of jeans out of the closet and tossed them onto the bed, along with her makeup bag. 

Roger sighed and closed the door behind him. "Where are you going?"

"I just need to get away for the weekend," she answered him without looking up.

"From me?" He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her toss the clothes into an overnight bag.

She shrugged. "You promised me."

"I know. I'm really sorry." He dropped his head into his hands. "I'm sorry about the pot."

"Sorry doesn't always cut it. And that's not just what I'm upset about. I just need the weekend away, okay? My mom's dropping Abby off tomorrow morning. I'll be back Sunday."

"Do I get a hint at where you're going?" he practically begged her.

"I'll call you." She grabbed the bag and walked back out into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked. He stopped in front of her and watched her pull on her jacket. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I just need some time alone," Jen answered him.

Mark looked back to Roger, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Okay, did something happen between you guys?"

"I'll see you Sunday Marky." Jen looked over to Maureen who smiled sadly at her. "Feel better Maureen. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks. But I think I'm pretty well taken care of here." She shot a smug look at Mark and shrugged.

Roger followed her down the stairs and to her black Jetta. "Can I call you?"

She nodded and leaned against her car door. "Yeah."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's not about that."

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away and gave him a quick hug instead. "Bye."

"Uh—bye." Roger watched her start the car and back it out onto the street. He tried to watch it until it was out of sight, but the streets grew crowded with people and he realized that it wasn't worth it.

*             *               *                *

Jen changed the radio station just as she exited the parkway. The forty minutes she had spent in the car trying to fight traffic had given her a lot of time to think—about herself, about Abby, about the situation between her and Roger.

Hey little sister what have you done 

_Hey little sister who's your only one_

_Hey little sister who's your superman_

_Hey little sister who's the only one you want_

_Hey little sister shot gun_

She drummed her fingers along the steering wheel and turned into the residential section of Scarsdale. She turned the windshield wipers down, realizing that the heavy rain she had to battle on the parkway had tapered off to a light drizzle.

I've been away for so long 

_I let you go for so long_

Maybe it had all been one mistake after the other. Moving to New York with Roger in the first place. Then coming back three years later expecting him to be someone different. He **was** different, but he still was holding on to the old Roger's perspectives and actions. She didn't happen to like that at all, because she knew he could easily end up back where he was when she left the first time.

Take me back home 

_There is nothing fair in this world_

_There is nothing safe in this world_

_And there's nothing sure in this world_

_And there's nothing pure in this world_

_Start again_

Jen made a right turn onto the street and passed about five houses before pulling into the driveway of a white and brown two-story house. She parked, grabbed her bag from the backseat, and pulled her keys out of the ignition.

It's a nice day for a white wedding 

_It's a nice day to start again_

She rang the doorbell and waited patiently for someone to answer, all the while watching the rain sprinkle the concrete of the walkway. 

The door opened and a middle-aged woman was revealed. "Jen?"

"Hi Mrs. Davis."

*            *               *              *

Review!!


	20. Midnight Rain

CHAPTER 20

A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter. This week's been kind of rough. I sprained my ankle Thursday night, so between going to the doctor's and school, I've been sort of busy. But hopefully you guys are still interested and thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! 

For those that are looking for the next installment of _Before You Wake,_ that'll be up in the next day or two. Thanks for being so patience, and if I haven't reviewed any of your stories, it's been primarily because I haven't been able to get around to checking the website for updates, but I will get around to it tonight or tomorrow.

*          *            *             *

"Jen?"

She nodded. "Hi Mrs. Davis."

Sandra Davis stepped out onto the porch and held the glass door open. "Sweetie are you okay? I didn't know Roger and you were coming up this weekend." She looked back at Jen's car. "Roger didn't come with you?"

"Well no. Not exactly. I just—remember when I was still in high school and you used to tell me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, you'd always be willing to listen?"

"I remember," Sandra nodded.

"I just needed to get out of the city and talk to someone," Jen sighed.

Sandra wrapped her arm around Jen's shoulders and walked her inside. "Of course. Come on, let's go sit down in the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat if you'd like." She opened the refrigerator door and pulled out some lunchmeat, but at the same time watched Jen out of the corner of her eye. Whatever she had come all the way from the city for to talk about, Sandra had a pretty good idea it had something—if not everything—to do with her son.

Jen sat down in the chair at the kitchen table. "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to impose on you or anything. I know you're busy."

Sandra laughed and shook her head. "If you call busy watching my three grandkids in between doing the laundry and waiting for Jerry to get home. But it's fine. You're always welcome here, no matter what my stubborn son has to say about it." She caught the look on Jen's face and smiled. "So this is about Roger?"

"Yeah. But there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. I just didn't know how."

Sandra sat down across from her at the table and handed her a cup of tea. "Okay honey. Whatever it is you can tell me."

"I just really think I should start from here." Jen reached into her bag and pulled out a white envelope. Opening the crease of it, she pulled out two sheets of paper and placed them on the table. "I think you should take a look at these first."

Roger's mother took the sheets of paper and scanned them.

Abby Nicole Davis 

_DOB: 03/16/94_

_Place of birth: New York, New York_

Her eyes dropped to the bottom two lines on the certificate.

Mother's name: Jennifer Anne Walsh 

**Father's name: Roger Michael Davis**

Sandra shakily placed her tea mug onto the table and looked at Jen. "Oh sweetie. Oh my god."

Joey walked into the kitchen and tossed his car keys onto the counter. "Hey Mom. Hey Jen." He looked around as if he expected Roger to walk into the room any minute. "Where's Rog?"

"He's in the city," Jen answered.

"Why?" Joey grabbed a soda can out of the fridge and popped the top off. "You should have brought him with you. We all could have went out tonight and partied."

"Joseph," Sandra warned. "Don't you have something to do? Like watch football downstairs?"

"Uh, not really."

"Then do your laundry."

"Aw Mom come on. I just get home and I have to do my own laundry?" He placed his soda can on the counter. "What's for dinner?"

"Joey! You're twenty-one years old! You still live at home! Feed yourself for once!" she half shouted, half laughed at him. "Lasagna."

"What the hell is wrong with living at home?" Joey asked her.

Jen rolled her eyes. "Your mom does your laundry and cooks for you. You can sleep in until noon every day you don't have class. Can't you get an apartment?"

"Shut up Jen," he teased her. "Lindsey sleeps over two days a week anyway. And Heather's nineteen and when she comes home she gets to stay here."

"But they both have places of their own and don't eat everything," Sandra added. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Me and Mike are getting our tattoos done and then we're hanging out at his place."

"Another one?" 

"Mom I only have three! And Roger has like ten and you don't say shit to him!" he laughed. 

"That's because I'm lucky if I can get Roger to come home. And don't start with me, you have your eyebrow pierced too."

Joey walked over and wrapped his arms around Sandra. "Mom I love you and I promise I'll move out soon."

"Liar."

He grinned and picked up his soda can. "Yeah I know. See ya later." His footsteps thundered down the basement stairs.

Sandra turned back to Jen and sighed. "Well. I guess this makes me a grandma to someone else," she smiled warmly at her.

Jen nodded and wrapped her fingers around the warm coffee mug. "Yeah. I guess it does." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry for not telling you.  I wanted to, but with Roger—"

"I know."

"You know?"

Sandra handed the papers she was holding back to Jen. "I'm not mad at you for not telling, either him or me. Roger—well he was pretty bad. So far gone with the drugs that the next phone call I expected to get from him was one telling me he was dead. We, both me and Jerry, along with Mark, got him into rehab three times. The first two stints didn't work, but the third time did. After the last time he started returning to his old self. But I don't blame you for not telling him about Abby. He couldn't take care of himself."

"I know."

"But is Abby the only reason you came up here to talk to me?"

Jen glanced at the clock. It was already after seven, but she couldn't remember the last time she had ever felt so tired. "Sort of. It's just really hard to talk to Roger lately. I guess I'm starting to feel like me going back there was a huge mistake in the first place."

"Oh honey don't say that. All couples have to go through a bunch of—well, **shit**, to find themselves on common ground. After I divorced Roger's father, it took me a long time to learn how to balance a job along with providing for five kids—two of which were under six years old. But then things started getting better. I met Jerry, and all of the kids get along with him."

"Yeah."

"But if it helps you any, you and Roger have been going back and forth for almost ten years now."

"More off than on," Jen pointed out. "It's just hard."

"He really loves you." Sandra stood up and put her coffee cup in the sink.

"I know." 

"Sweetie Roger's always going to be Roger. The same stubborn, adorable, pain in the ass that we all love to hate sometimes. But whether Roger turns over a new leaf or not, he'll still love you. Just like I'll love Abby now as if I had been there since the day of her birth."

"Thank you."

"Why don't you go lay down in Roger's room? You look like you could use some sleep. And I'll make you breakfast in the morning because god knows I'll be making chocolate chip pancakes for the ten year old downstairs," she laughed, referring to Roger's younger brother.

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Of course!" she laughed. 

"Thanks Sandra." Jen kissed her cheek as she passed into the living room.

"No problem sweetie. Goodnight."

"Night."

*                 *                *                       *

Joey Davis grabbed his cell phone from the coffee table in the basement and speed dialed the loft's number. On the third ring, Roger's voice came over the line.

"Hello?"

"Loser! Come home and watch the playoff game with me. Why didn't you come up with Jen?"

*                     *                   *                  *

Roger parked Maureen's Acura in his driveway and quietly shut the driver side door. It was getting late—almost close to eleven. After making sure Abby was down for the night, Mark had offered to watch her so he could drive up to Scarsdale to work things out with Jen. 

Since he figured his mom and Jerry were asleep by now, he walked around the back of the house and used the spare key hidden under the flowerpot to unlock the kitchen door. He quietly took of his boots and slipped through the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. Although he knew Jen had probably stayed at his mom's, he was surprised to find her asleep in his bed. 

He shook his head and crouched down before her, brushing some of the hair out of her face. "Jennifer."

She stirred and opened her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, the last time I checked this was sort of my house?" he answered her sarcastically. "What are you doing here?"

Frustrated, she sat up. "I told you. Getting away."

"That's just real fucking great Jen. Show up to my house and start bitching about me to my mom."

"I wasn't bitching to your mom. Jesus Christ, everything's not about you," she argued back at him. 

Roger watched her stand up and pull her jacket on. "Can I talk to you without you getting pissed and taking off?"

"What about?"

"Did you tell her about Abby?"

Jen looked at him before walking out of his room and down the hall. 

"Shit!" Roger shouted after her. He slammed his bedroom door a little too loudly and jogged out the front door and down the steps into the driveway. "Jen come on! Cut the shit!"

She had already headed down the sidewalk and towards the park. The cold rain had started up again and was starting to drench them both as it fell in sheets. "You're an asshole Roger!"

He ran down the block after her, trying to avoid the puddles that were forming where the water hadn't drained out of the driveways. "Did you tell her about Abby?" he shouted at her.

"Maybe I did!"

"Why! Why would you do that?" Jen had already crossed the street and was heading into the small park as Roger stood there on the corner. "God that was so stupid!"

Jen ignored him and kept walking through the soggy grass. "Why? It's not stupid! She's your daughter Roger! I didn't just make her myself!"

"I fucking know that!" Frustrated, he stopped near the swing set. "Can you stop for a minute? What are you trying to do? Walk to New Rochelle in the fucking rain?"

"So what!"

"I'm not arguing with you! What's this really about Jen? Is it about me being a terrible father because I haven't been there for three years? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Maybe."

"That was your fucking decision. You kept her from me. You think if I knew about her I'd want to stay away from her? You're fucked up in the head Jen."

"Oh thanks. Says my very compassionate boyfriend."

"I don't think having sex with someone makes them have a relationship."

She turned around and started walking back over to him. "Yeah? Then what's with the redhead you fucked Roger? What was her name? April? Didn't that turn into a relationship?"

"Drop it."

"No! So what are you really saying? That Mimi wasn't a relationship either?"

"She was. She was everything to me."

"And what was I?"

"How did you know about them?"

"Mark told me! Mark of all people! Mark always had to be the one to tell me everything! It could never come from you!" she screamed at him. "What was I to you Roger? Huh? Just another pretty face? A good lay?"

"Cut it out! You were everything to me at one point too and you fucking know it! God Jen don't you get it? I wanted to fucking marry you! I wanted to have kids with you. I wanted that fucking house with the little white picket fence and the dog. I wanted all of that! But shit happened and I fucked up! Everything's different now and I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted me to say for so long? I'm sorry."

Jen sat down on the bench underneath the tree. Her clothes were drenched, along with her hair and shoes. Roger didn't look much better. But as they stood there, close to midnight and screaming their heads off at each other about everything that happened in the past in their old hometown, she realized that this was it. It didn't get much better than this—what they had. She knew that she would never find someone who could complete her the way Roger did. 

"I know. I know you are," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry."

He sat down next to her and took her hand in his. "Jen—"

"I know I'm being stupid," she sobbed. "I'm always stupid about this. I always have been. But don't you understand Roger? I can't do this without you. You were always everything to me too."

"Jen listen to me." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "I can't promise you that I'll live forever. I can't. Not anymore."

"I know that!" she cried. "I know."

"Marry me. Jennifer Anne Walsh, I want you to marry me. I should have asked you this a long time ago, but I'm asking you now."

"Do you call that a marriage proposal?" 

He shrugged. "Yeah I guess I do. So what, are you gonna leave a guy hanging?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes I'll marry you." She looked around them and pulled a few strands of her hair off her forehead. "When did it start raining this hard?"  
  


"When you decided to throw a tantrum and walk the one block from my house to the park," he teased her.

"Sometimes that's the only way you'll listen."

"Funny." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they continued their walk back to his house. They reached the house and Roger opened the unlocked front door. Trying to avoid making as much noise as possible, they both took off their shoes and then hung up their soaked jackets in the closet. 

Jen walked down the hall and into the bathroom. Roger followed and leaned against the wall, watching her wring out her shoulder length brown hair into the tub. "Shower or bed?"

"Shower. Definitely shower," he suggested. He turned the water on and winked at her. "Let's go."

She smiled and pulled off her shirt. "You're really charming."

"What can I say? I've been working on it." With that said, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the shower with him.

*                    *                      *                   *

I know it's been a while, but please review!


	21. Significant Others

CHAPTER 21

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews everyone! It feels really good to be back.

Just wanted to remind you all of who a few people were:

**Joey**: Roger's younger brother. He's 21 and still lives with Roger's mom and stepfather.

**Jerry**: Roger's stepfather

**Sandra**: Roger's mother

**Annie**: Roger's aunt and Sandra's sister

**Wes**: Drummer of the Well Hungarians

**Lori**: Wes' wife

Just as a heads up, there are some intense events coming up in the future chapters, as well as some emotional ones, so stay tuned, and don't forget to review!

Mari

*                     *                       *                           *

"So do you think Roger and Jen are coming back from Scarsdale today?" Maureen asked. She was sitting on the couch, flipping through an old magazine and sipping a cup of coffee. The ratty plaid blanket was draped over her legs comfortably.

Mark pushed the work papers he had been working on at the counter back in their folder. "Hopefully. Abby keeps asking me when Jen's coming home, plus it's supposed to snow tonight and I don't really want to be snowed in with a three year old."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "So what are you telling me? When our three year old wants to go out and play in the snow, you'll be the grumpy father that doesn't want to?"

"Didn't say that. I just said that Abby's-well, a little hyper?"

"She just misses her mom."

"Yeah, and the big blonde goon known as her father."

She laughed and tossed the magazine on the coffee table. "Goon? That's really eighties. Jesus Mark."

"Sorry," he shrugged. "Is it just me or is it a little cold in here?"

"No, it's not just you. It's really cold. I think Benny or Mr. Grey is fucking with our heat this month."

Mark checked around the living room to make sure all the heating vents were open and blowing out air. He waved his hand in front of the one underneath the window. "There's barely anything coming out. And whatever is coming out is freezing."

"Wonderful," Maureen responded sarcastically. "Perfection."

"You know, I really hate this piece of shit dump. Because that's what it is. It's bullshit. Take a really good look around next time. The heating just kicked out. The couch is practically sunk into the floor. You have to constantly screw with the antenna on the TV to get it working."

"Well at least Roger's mastered that. He said it's just like driving. Position them at ten and two," she grinned.

"Yeah but come on Maureen! The fucking water goes cold in the shower after barely ten minutes. The toilet flushes when it wants to. The floorboards creak, and last week Roger cracked the bottom of my bedroom window, so it's about ten degrees colder in there then it is in the rest of this place."

"Which will be about what? Sixty degrees by noon?"

"Lower than that," he grumbled. "Let's try forty by tonight. The whole apartment."

"This is bullshit!" Maureen shouted out. "I hate this whole building!"

"Yeah!" Mark shouted at her, agreeing. He then started to laugh and so did she. "You remember the time Roger broke the window right after you moved in here?"

Maureen covered her mouth and started laughing. She pointed to the first of two windows that overlooked the street below. "He got really pissed and tossed the lamp out."

"He wasn't pissed, he needed a fix and he was bitching because he couldn't find the Man," Mark corrected her. "But yeah, actually he was pretty pissed off."

"See? I told you. It's not like I forget these things." She ran her fingers through her curly hair. "I mean shit, I might be a slut but I'm not stupid," she joked.

Mark shook his head and walked into the kitchen. She heard him slamming a few things down on the corner and stood up to follow him.

"Marky?"

"What?" he said angrily.

"Okay, what'd I do now? You're doing that thing where you get really pissed off and clam up about it. I used to hate that."

"Oh great."

"I didn't mean it like that! I meant I used to hate it, but the makeup sex afterwards was great," she added in an attempt to make him smile. "Come on Mark."

"You're always putting yourself down. Even when we were dating. Either you were too fat, or not pretty enough. Or too stupid and you'd always tell me you weren't my type. You weren't supposed to be with me. You were too toxic for me," he tried to point out. 

Maureen sat down on the barstool and watched him dig around in the cabinets for a granola bar. "I'm not even going to deny that, because I know I'm hard on myself. I know. And I try not to let everything bother me, but it does."

"It's not just that! You walk around here and talk like you've fucked every guy in the East Village. I just don't get it. Why can't you commit?" 

"It's not about commitment. I can't really explain it. It'll probably sound so stupid anyway."

He shrugged and handed her half of the granola. "I guarantee it won't. Tell me why you cheated on me."

"I don't know."

"Great answer." He rolled his eyes and poured himself a glass of orange juice. It was silent for a few moments as they both sat there in the empty loft. Mark heard Maureen tapping her nails against the island and the occasional sniffle. "Are you crying?"

"No." She quickly wiped her eyes and tried to cover the tears up. "Maybe."

He sighed and sat down next to her. "So are you crying because I'm an asshole, because I'm right and you know it, or because you're really hormonal?"

"All of the above."

Mark wrapped his arm gently around her waist and she propped her head up against his shoulder. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I guess I'm just curious, you know? I mean, we were together for almost a year. We did have something good going."

"I know that. But do you ever just get caught up in the moment and realize that whatever you're about to do will make you feel so much better about yourself? And I don't mean that you never made me feel better about myself, because honestly you treated me better than most of my previous ex boyfriends ever did. It was just a matter of me going out, flirting with some guy, and taking it way too far. I just had a problem with being tied down."

"Yeah."

"I don't know what you really want me to say to you Mark. I don't even want to explain the whole relationship with Joanne to you right now. I can't. So I guess I'm just really sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for being a bitch, and for being a slut. I'm sorry for walking all over you and using you. But most of all I'm sorry for never being there for you when you needed me."

Mark rubbed her back slowly as she sat on the barstool, just sobbing. "It's okay."

"God Mark, I hate myself for doing that to you."

"It's okay. Don't cry." He handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes with it. "You can't change the past anymore."

She nodded and wiped her eyes as her tears started to subside. "Yeah."

"So whatever happened then, happened. But right now everything's a hell of a lot different."

"Mark, what do you want to do about our relationship?" Maureen asked him suddenly. "I mean, this is what the whole conversation we just had is about right? Our relationship?"

He was a little taken aback by this. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. What do you want to do? Do you want to stay friends and share custody of the baby? Or do you want to try and date again and see where it takes us? Maybe?" Maureen bit her lip and looked over at Mark. 

Mark stared at the worn tile that covered the kitchen floor. He knew what she meant. He had too good of an idea. He wasn't about to lie to himself by saying that it hadn't hurt the last time they had broken up, because it did. She had left him vulnerable just when Roger was starting to recover from withdrawal and get back on his feet. But now as she sat here next to him, it was almost as if she was a completely different Maureen from the last time. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that the prospect of her being a mother had shocked her into taking control of her life.

As all of these emotions crossed his mind, he realized that he couldn't sit here and tell her no. He wanted to date her again. That's all he really had wanted for so long was for her to come back to him so they could rethink their relationship and possibly rekindle things. Yes, she was pregnant with his child. Yes, she had fucked him over in the past. But she deserved another second chance and he was willing to take the time to give it to her.

"I think we should try and date again," Mark replied slowly. "But I don't want any of the bullshit that we went through last time. We both don't need that hassle this time around."

She nodded and dropped the tissue in the trashcan. "I know that." She looked at him and smiled. "I promise Marky."

"Okay. That's all I needed to know." He leaned in to kiss her slowly, and Maureen ended up wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead against his.

"Thanks," she said to him as he kissed her forehead lightly.

"Anytime."

Just as Mark said that, a loud noise rumbled through the building and then, the power completely blew—as well as the heat.

"Oh great," Maureen muttered. "Now not only is it freezing, the power just had to go out." She picked up the phone, only to be greeted by a nonexistent dial tone. "Fuck! I can't even call Benny to threaten his sorry ass."

Mark smirked and walked into Roger's bedroom, returning with Roger's cell phone. "I'll just call him and harass him on here—"

Abby had just woken up and walked out of her bedroom. "Uncle Mark! It's really cold in here!"

"We know sweetie. The heat went out and so did the power. But we're trying to get on the phone with Uncle Benny right now to see if he can fix it, okay?"

"Okay." She sat down on the couch. 

Mark hit the end call button on Roger's cell. "He's not picking up."

"Shit. I guess we're just gonna have to rough it then. Where are the extra blankets?" 

"Oh look! It's snowing!" Abby giggled. She pointed to the window, where large snowflakes had started to fall and coat the sidewalk below.

"We have no power, it's snowing, and we don't have heat. Could this get any worse?" Mark grinned at Maureen.

"It probably could. Just wait for it."

*                               *                          *                       *

Jen rolled over on her side and pulled the covers up to her chin. She heard muffled coughing down the hall and closed her eyes briefly again. She didn't think much of it until she realized that Roger wasn't lying next to her in his bed anymore. "Roger?" she called out.

Roger walked into the room, coughing again. "Hey."

"That doesn't sound great," she winced as he tried to catch his breath. "Do you feel okay?"

"No."

"Come here." Roger walked over and stretched out on the bed next to her. Jen placed her hand on his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair with the other hand. "You're burning up."

 "Yeah no shit."

"What else is bothering you?" Jen pulled the covers over them both and Roger wrapped his arm around her waist before propping his head up on her chest.

"My head. My whole body hurts. I'm cold. And this fucking cough," he mumbled. 

"You probably have the flu. I shouldn't have dragged you out in the rain last night."

"I could have stayed at the house so it's my fault, not yours. I'll be fine. I think I just need to sleep."

"No, I think you need to go to the doctor."

"Come on I don't want to go to the fucking doctor," he begged her. "Can we just go back to the loft?"

"If you want. Did you take your pills?"

"Yes."

"I'm picking up some Tylenol Flu for you on the way home and then we're going to the doctor."

"Jen—"

She shook her head. "Nope. We're going to the doctor and he might be able to give you some antibiotics for the cough to make sure that doesn't turn into bronchitis."

Sandra knocked on the doorframe before walking into Roger's bedroom. "Good morning. Nice of you to come down to the kitchen and see your own mother, Roger," she laughed at him.

"Sorry Mom. Wait, how'd you know I was here?" he grinned.

"You're just loud. You never do anything quietly. I knew you would have come up here to see Jen after Joey called you."

Jen glanced at Roger. "Joey called you? So he gave it away that I was here?" she laughed. 

"Yeah." Roger shrugged sheepishly and started coughing again. "He wanted me to watch the game with him."

Sandra walked over to the bed and placed her hand on his head. "Sweetie you have a fever. Let me go get the thermometer and some Tylenol for you."

"Mom—"

"Don't Mom me. You know what, I think I'm going to call Annie too and have her come over to check on you. Hopefully she doesn't have a shift today. Or even better, you could go down there and see her at the hospital if you need to."

"Mom—"

"Stop being a baby!" she laughed at him. She walked out of the room to get the Tylenol bottle and the thermometer.

"See? I told you that you needed to see a doctor."

"Baby, come on."

"I just want to make sure that with the HIV it doesn't become anything worse than it should."

Roger sighed and kissed her. "I promise I'm fine. Okay? You're not gonna get rid of me that fast."

Jen kicked him with her foot. "Shut up," she laughed.

Roger's mom returned with the thermometer and stuck it under his tongue. She pulled it out about a minute later and looked at it. "100.8. I'm calling Annie."

"I swear it's only the flu!"

"Well then you can talk to her on the phone and tell her your symptoms."

Jen covered her mouth and started laughing against Roger's shoulder. "Poor baby."

Sandra handed him the Tylenol pills and the glass of water. "Take two of those and it should knock your fever down."

Roger groaned and obediently took the pills and swallowed them. "Mom—" Jen was still laughing and he started tickling her. "You cut it out and stop getting me in trouble," he laughed.

"Roger leave Jen alone! We're just trying to make you feel better. Honestly," Sandra smiled. "Well I'm calling your aunt and then you can talk to her."

"Okay." Roger pinned Jen down on the bed once his mom had left his room. "That's what you get for being a bitch about this."

"Oh poor baby is such a momma's boy and he knows it," she giggled at him. She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You're gonna get sick from me."

"Maybe not."

*                  *                     *                    *

Jen pulled into the loft parking lot around six later that night. Roger's aunt had diagnosed him with a case of the flu and told him to get as much rest as possible, along with enough fluids. They had left Scarsdale around five, and Jen had picked up two boxes of Tylenol Flu from the drugstore before getting on the parkway. 

She turned off the ignition and gently shook his arm to try and wake him. "Rog, we're home." She smiled at him. He looked so innocent and peaceful when he slept, and he had fallen asleep about five minutes into the ride home. "Roger."

"What?" Roger yawned and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Did you get the meds from the drugstore?"

"Yup." She handed him the brown paper bag she was holding. 

They crunched their way through the three inches of snow that had fallen since the morning and up the metal stairs to the fourth floor. Roger unlocked the door and unsteadily walked through the door. Jen grabbed his arm and helped him onto the couch before taking off her jacket. 

"Christ it's cold in here!" She covered him with the blanket and tried to turn on the lamp. "What's going on in this place?"

"Why?"

"The lights won't turn on." Jen tried to flick on the kitchen lights to no avail. 

"Oh." Roger shrugged and closed his eyes. "The power probably blew when we were at my mom's. It does that. Most of the time the heat goes too."

"Didn't know that." Jen sat down next to him. "We forgot to tell your mom that we're engaged."

"Oh yeah. I still have to buy you a ring." Roger pulled her on top of him. "We gotta go looking."

"You don't have to buy me a ring."

"Yes I do. Because that way everyone will know you're unofficially mine," he grinned. "Jennifer Davis. Sounds fucking good to me."

"Mmhmm," she agreed. "But we have some planning to do."

He turned his head and coughed. "Yeah I know."

"I'm not just talking about the wedding either. What do you think about looking for a house?"

"Like a real house?" Roger asked her.

She nodded slowly and linked their fingers together. "Yeah I guess. I mean if you don't want to, that's fine. I don't mind living here."

Roger saw her look around the room as she said that. He knew she wouldn't to live in this place, especially after they got married. "Okay liar. I don't mind moving. I think a real house would be great. But where? Since we can't exactly have a house in the city."

"Well I just want someplace where they have a decent school system."

"Yeah I know what you mean. Wes told me the other day that him and Lori just bought a beach house in Belmar because his mom lives in Lakewood and they want to be closer to her. So I don't know where you really want to live. Do you want to be closer to the city, closer to the beach, or closer to our parents?"

She shrugged and Roger started stroking her hair. "I guess I'll have to think about it some more. But the beach wouldn't be that bad. I mean, I'd have to commute to work some days and so would Mark, but we could deal with that. Plus we could just keep this place and maybe fix it up to have on weekends?"

Roger smiled when she mentioned Mark. He had a feeling she would say something about Mark and Maureen possibly living with them or even getting a place of their own down wherever they ended up moving. "Yeah we could do that. Whatever you want. We'll just have to start looking."

Mark walked in with Maureen and Abby. "Hey. When'd you get back? Rog you look sick."

Abby ran over to Jen. "Mommy! You're home!"

"Yup." Jen kissed Abby and pulled her onto the couch. 

"You're sick?" she asked Roger.

"Yeah. Kind of."

"He has the flu," Jen said to Mark. "He's supposed to rest and drink fluids for the next few days."

"Bummer," Maureen replied. "Just to let you know, the power and heat is out and apparently Benny has no idea when we're all supposed to get it back."

Roger rolled his eyes. "Figures. Hey before we figure out what the hell we're going to do to keep this place warm tonight, me and Jen have some news." He sat up on the couch and Abby climbed into his lap.

"Good news or bad news?" Mark asked. He picked up Abby out of Roger's lap and sat her on the barstool. "And we don't need her getting sick."

"Oh, sorry," Roger grinned. He looked at Jen. "You want me to tell them?"

"Sure." She nodded and sat down on his lap instead. "So—we're getting married."

"What?" Maureen squealed. "Really? Oh my god! That's awesome!" She ran over to Jen and gave her a hug. "Congratulations. I can't believe you're marrying Roger!"

"I'm just going to take that as a compliment Mo," he laughed.

"Wow man, congratulations," Mark added. "I think it's about time. When did this happen? And how did you get sick in the first place?"

"I asked her yesterday, and don't worry about how I got sick. We just got caught in the rain."

"Well however you got sick, you really need to be laying down in bed and not talking to all of us. Plus you need to take some Tylenol and eat something later tonight."

"You're almost as bad as my mom," Roger groaned as he stood up. "But yeah. I need a nap."

Abby ran over to him and almost collided into his legs. "So now you're gonna be my real daddy?"

"I am your real daddy. But by marrying your mom, that just means I'm not going anywhere for a real long time," Roger tried to explain to her. 

"Really? Cool!" she exclaimed. "What kind of dress do I get to wear?"

Jen shrugged. "We'll talk about that later. You. Park it on the couch and let your dad sleep. Uncle Mark's gonna order Chinese. Right Mark?"

"Yeah sure. I'll get right on that," he answered sarcastically.

"Okay," Abby agreed. Maureen sat down next to her, only to promise to have everyone minus Roger play Twister with her later.

When Jen walked back out into the living room after getting Roger in bed, Mark had gone to get the Chinese food and Abby had fallen asleep in her room. Maureen was sitting on the couch flipping through another magazine.

"Hey," Jen greeted her.

"Hey." Maureen set the magazine aside and smiled at her. "I have something to tell you."

"Really? And does it have to do with you and Mark?"

Maureen nodded. "Yeah. We talked earlier and agreed to start dating again."

"That's great! See I told you it would work out between you two. You just had to give it some time."

"Yeah. It felt really good to talk things over with him, but it feels even better to know that we're together again," she smiled. "I guess it's sort of a way to prove to him that I am a different person."

"I know what you mean."

The lights in the apartment flickered and came on briefly, only to go back out again. Maureen sighed and shook her head. 

"This place is such a shithole."

"Yeah, but it's the closest thing to home, right?" Jen laughed. "Now if they can just fix the heat, that would be perfect."

"Last time it took three days."

Jen shook her head. "Alright never mind. You're right, this place is a shithole."

*                      *                         *                     *

Review please!   


	22. Easy or Hard

CHAPTER 22

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, as always. Just a note now, there's going to be some pretty emotional scenes coming up towards the end of this chapter and in the future chapters. These scenes will show a more in depth side to all of the characters, and a lot of things will be brought out into the open from the past, especially, but not only, in Roger's case. 

It gets intense at the end of this chapter, so I'm just putting a warning up. The rating will still remain PG-13, but it is intense. 

Stick with me, and you'll see how everything plays out. And once again, thanks for the reviews.

*                 *                *                *

Roger groggily reached over to answer the phone. He coughed and sneezed a few times before he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey man." Joey's voice came over the line.

Roger coughed again. "Hey. What's going on? What time is it?"

"Six thirty. You okay?"

He covered the receiver of the phone and coughed, more violently this time. "Yeah I'm fine. I'm sort of getting over the flu still. Why the fuck are you calling me this early? I didn't get home until two am last night."

"Sorry. Look, can I come up and stay with you for a few days? I got to go back to college in two weeks anyway. Winter breaks up then."

"Yeah sure. Whatever you want, just bring extra blankets and layers. We're having a problem with our heat."

"Thanks."

"What's going on that you don't want to stay with mom and Jerry?" Roger coughed. This time he had a harder time catching his breath. 

"Heather came home last night from Italy with her fucking boyfriend. Just a bunch of bullshit and I got into it with her over something. And oh yeah, she's a bitch?"

Roger sighed at the mention of his nineteen year old sister. "Yeah. I know how she is. But whatever. How are you getting here?"

"I'm driving in."

"See ya in a few." 

"Bye."

Roger yawned and hung the phone up. He grabbed two of the Tylenol Flu pills and downed them with the leftover water from the night before. He was actually feeling a whole hell of a lot better than he had been a few days before, but he couldn't seem to get rid of that damn cough. He tried to fall back asleep, but no matter what position he tried to get himself in, he couldn't get comfortable. It was then that he realized that Jen wasn't sleeping next to him, which meant she probably hadn't even come to bed last night.

He pulled on a long sleeve black CBGB's shirt over his tshirt and sweatpants and headed out into the living room. Jen was still sitting up on the couch, although her head had fallen back and was resting on one of the pillows. Her laptop was still on, and the mouse cursor was blinking over her email inbox. He gently ran his fingers up and down her arm and shook her gently.

"Jen. Baby wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him. "Why are you up? What time is it? Go back to sleep," she yawned, closing her eyes again. 

"You fell asleep on the couch. And I can't fall back asleep anyway."

"Shit, again? I told myself that I would only rest for a few minutes." Jen turned off her laptop and unplugged it. 

"Yeah, I tell myself that all the time when I stay up late trying to write lyrics. It never works." Roger kissed her and pulled her up off the couch. "What are we doing with Abby tonight for the gig?"

Jen rested her head against his chest and shrugged. "Maureen said she wasn't feeling good, so I doubt she's going tonight to the gig. But she did say that if I needed someone to watch her, she'd be willing to. Plus there's like four other gigs you're playing this week."

Roger nodded. That was true, this week was definitely a whole lineup of gigs for different bands across the city. It was supposed to be a definite battle of the bands, and a lot of record scouts were coming out and watching. He knew that everyone was at least trying to come out to one show that didn't conflict with their schedules. 

"Yeah that's fine."

"How do you feel?" Jen asked him. "Your eyes look a little red."

"Better. He kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry. I feel a lot better."

"Okay," she replied hesitantly. "But really, if you don't feel good after that gig tonight, I want you to go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked out again."

"Alright. I promise. If it makes you feel better."

"It will."

Jen walked into the kitchen and started the coffee up. "Did Mark come home last night?"

Roger shrugged. "I don't keep track of him."

"That's such a nice thing to say. Just drips sarcasm," she laughed. 

He just grinned. "I think he might have stayed at Mo's last night. And no, I don't know what they were doing. I don't keep track of his sex life either. So if he wants to get a hummer from her in the supply closet, I don't need to know about it."

Jen coughed on the water she had just took a sip of. "Roger! Jesus Christ. What the hell's with you this morning?" she laughed. 

"Must be the cold medicine."

"Just do me a favor and don't say that to Mark. Don't embarrass him."

"I won't. Like I said, I don't need to know about his sex life," Roger pointed out. 

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" She walked over and felt his forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"I said I feel better."

Jen poured the coffee and handed him a mug. "If you say so."

"You know what I really want?"

She sat down on his lap. "No, I don't know what you really want."

"I want jello and whipped cream. You know, the jello you make over the stove? The cherry kind? I haven't had that since I was like, fifteen or something," he laughed. "Please baby?"

"Please baby what?" Jen asked him. "You really think I want to make you jello?"

"Well you could wear the leftovers for me if you want. Plus the whipped cream too. We'd have a damn good time tonight after the gig."

"You get to wear the chocolate syrup then," Jen added. "On one condition."

He grinned. "And what's that?"

"I get to do whatever I want to do to you tonight," she winked.

"I'm in."

"Mommy, you're making sundaes? Can I have one with chocolate syrup and whipped cream!" Abby had walked into the kitchen just then, rubbing her eyes. "And with strawberries!"

"Uh," Jen laughed. "Sweetie I'm not making ice cream sundaes."

"Then how come you told daddy you wanted him to wear the chocolate syrup? And how come he told you to wear whipped cream?" she asked curiously.

Roger's mouth dropped open and he started laughing. "Abby, we're not wearing any of that."

"Well that's what you said and I thought you couldn't wear all that stuff. I thought it was just for eating and it tastes really good!"

Mark walked in the loft and closed the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and took of his coat as he walked into the kitchen. "Morning family."

"Hey," Roger greeted him. "Good time in the supply closet last night?"

Jen smacked his arm and shot him a look. "Hey Mark."

Mark just started at the both of them, puzzled. "What about a supply closet?"

Abby started tugging on Mark's sweater. "Uncle Mark, Daddy said he wanted Mommy to wear whipped cream, and Mommy told Daddy that she wants him to wear chocolate syrup. Can you do that? Is that allowed?"

Mark stared again at Roger and Jen. "Well technically, you're not supposed to wear that stuff. And I don't think they really meant it. They were just joking," he told the toddler.

"Oh. Okay." Abby walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Jen was laughing so hard she was wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Uncle Mark saves the day."

Mark shook his head and started drinking out of her coffee cup. "You know, I normally don't ask what gets you two off, but I think you need to stop talking about your sex lives in front of your own kid. Especially when it involves food that enhances the sexual experience."

"Enhances the sexual experience? What the fuck?" Roger asked him. "Christ Mark, what are you doing lately? Reading Collins' philosophy books?"

"So how's Maureen feeling?" Jen asked him.

"She's okay. Last night was really rough, but she said this morning she felt a lot better. She's going to her OB next week to check a few things out. Make sure everything's okay," Mark answered her.

"Yeah. That's good."

Roger finished off his coffee and placed the mug back on the counter. "Before I forget, Joey called me this morning and asked me if it would be okay for him to stay here for a few days."

Mark shrugged. "I don't care."

"Good, because I wasn't planning on asking you anyway and he's probably already on his way here."

"Fucker," Mark laughed, shoving Roger in his good shoulder.

"Oh Mark, I love you," Roger said, batting his eyelashes. "Give me a kiss." He stood up and wrapped his arms around Mark's head and put him into a headlock. He planted a sloppy kiss on Mark's cheek and laughed.

"Ew. Screw you." Mark wiped his cheek and smiled. "Dick."

"Kids, cut it out."

"You want a kiss too?" Roger asked Jen. 

Jen shook her head and ran out of the kitchen, Roger dashing behind her. She leaped over the couch. Abby just blinked as Roger followed Jen, scooped her up and gave her a kiss.

"I won. You all can bow down to me now and leave generous donations at the bedroom door."

Jen collapsed onto the couch and onto Mark, who had just sat down. Abby climbed into her lap and smiled. "Roger, you're a dork," she giggled.

"Yeah? Well I'm a cuter dork than Mark is," he protested.

"Sorry. Mark's the cutest dork I know," Jen said, resting her head against Mark's chest.

Roger grabbed his leather jacket and slipped it on. "Alright screw you all. I'm going to get bagels and a pork roll egg and cheese for myself."

"Oh! Let me come!" Abby begged him.

Roger handed the toddler her jacket and made sure she was bundled up before hoisting her onto his shoulders. "See? She's on my side."

*                        *                      *                          *

"Davis, you're onstage in five. Kiss your girlfriend goodbye and get your ass moving!"

Roger glared at the owner of the club. Usually he was on pretty good terms with the guy, but lately he had been a real pain in the ass. Most likely because of the gigs that had been running through the club the past two days. Attendance had been the highest in months, and with the people that just wanted to see a good time also came the people that just wanted to deal right in the middle of the club.

He wrapped his arms around Jen protectively and kissed her. "I'll see you later."

"Probably not until we get home."

"Probably not," he frowned. "I'll try to find you, but just do me a favor and stay at the table with Collins and Joey, okay? Don't wander around or anything. It's not a good crowd tonight and I really don't even want you here in the first place because of that."

Jen nodded. "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay. I'll see you later," she smiled at him.

She turned to walk away, but Roger grabbed her hand. "Baby I love you. And tomorrow when we get up we're gonna go ring shopping. I just love you."

"I love you too." Jen smiled again and kissed him. "Be good baby."

Roger tried to get over the uneasy feeling that had settled in his stomach. Like something was about to go wrong and he couldn't stop it, or maybe it was just a set of nerves that had sprung up in the wake of going onstage again. He couldn't help but smile when she said that. Whenever he used to worry about something, or get angry or upset, or just generally do something that she'd laugh at, Jen would always tell him to be good. Just like that. He didn't know why it made him always feel better, but it did, and he wouldn't trade it in for anything. 

"I'll see you later."

Jen blew him a kiss and smiled a final time. "See you tonight."

Little did Roger know, that was the last real smile he'd get from his fiancée for months.

*                       *                     *                  *

_There was a time when I was so broken hearted_

_Love wasn't much of a friend of mine_

_The tables have turned, cause me and them ways have parted_

_That kind of love was the killin' kind_

Jen placed her drink down on the small, black, round table. The music was pounding out of the amps, and the smoke was so thick it was filtering around the room in clouds. "Guys I'm gonna go to the ladies' room. I'll be right back."

Joey looked over at her and nodded. "You want me to walk with you over there?" He took a sip of his beer. 

I was cryin' when I met you 

_Now I'm tryin' to forget you_

_Your love is sweet misery_

_I was cryin' just to get you_

_Now I'm dyin' cause I let you_

_Do what you do to me_

She shook her head. "No, really I'll be fine. I'll be back and if I'm not, I probably ran into Lori and she got me backstage to see Roger."

Collins nodded. "Okay. Just be really careful. Interesting crowd tonight."

"Yeah that's what Roger said to me," Joey added. "Be careful babe."

"Thanks, and I will." 

Jen squeezed her way through the masses of people, trying to make her way to the bathroom without getting lost in the crowd. She heard the lead singer's voice float over the stage, and realized that Roger had to have been backstage by now. Meaning there was an even better chance that she could see him sooner than she had expected.

The chords changed, and the song slowed down just a little bit. She found the corridor that led to the bathrooms and the backstage area and quickly hurried down it. Jen reached for the worn bronze doorknob when she felt something drag across her back. She jumped and spun around quickly, figuring it was just someone that accidentally bumped into her.

The smoke was thick in that particular area, and between the mixture of pot and alcohol, the place reeked. But there wasn't a something in front of her, there was a someone. And that someone just so happened to be Travis, bass player of the Hungarians. 

"Hi," she greeted him slowly. "Have you seen Roger?" Jen didn't particularly like the guy after he had made a few passes at her, but he was Roger's friend, and she respected that. 

Travis just stared back at her. She noticed his eyes were slightly glassy and red, which meant either one thing. He was drunk, high, or both. And his body was pressed up against hers. 

"Like I said before, I always figured you were a good lay. But if you fucking tell anyone, I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you and your daughter."

Jen kicked him and slid out from underneath him. "Fuck off," she shouted at him. "You're sick and twisted, you know that?"

Travis grabbed her wrist and pinned her against the wall. "Listen Jen, we can make this really easy, or hard. Easy, or hard?" He pretended to be weighing the options with one hand. "Easy or hard?"

"Leave me alone!" she screamed at him. She hoped someone would hear her through the noise, but she knew that was close to impossible. "You'll be out of the band faster than—"

_Now there's not even breathing room between pleasure and pain_

_Yeah you cry when we're making love_

_Must be one and the same_

He ran his hand up and down her side. "Faster than what? You're gonna tell Roger? I know all about Roger. About all the girls he probably gets with behind your back."

Jen started crying as he continued whispering this in her ear. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?"

"It's such a shame that you two are about to get married. You think that'll make him stop? He doesn't love you. He loves himself. It's always been about himself."

"Stop it."

"So like I said, easy or hard? Pick one and we'll just get this over with."

Jen shook her head and felt him grab her arm and drag her towards a separate exit. "Let go!" she screamed at him. "Somebody help me!"

Travis clamped his hand over her mouth. "Don't do that. You're only making it harder for yourself."

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't cry. She couldn't feel anything. Because this wasn't happening to her. Because a friend of Roger's wasn't about to take a liberty with her body. She didn't feel the cold pavement against her back or him unbuttoning her jeans. She was numb, and all she thought about wasn't why it was happening, but was Roger. What would she tell Roger? What would she say to Roger?

I was cryin' when I met you 

_Now I'm tryin' to forget you_

_Your love is sweet misery_

_I was cryin' just to get you_

_Now I'm dyin' cause I let you_

_Do what you do to me_

She didn't think of anything but Roger. She wouldn't allow herself to She couldn't fight Travis. He was a little more built than Roger was, and although he was shorter, he was heavier, and she couldn't fight him off of her.  She hated herself for that, but she couldn't do it. It was an impossibility. She still smelled the smoke and heard the music leaking into the cold January air outside of the club, and at that instant, she hated herself for coming back. She should have stayed away from here.

So when Travis was finished, she collected herself off the ground and stood up. As his back retreated towards the door of the club, he paused and looked back at her.

"Easy."

Jen wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I feel sorry for you." It was the only thing that had crossed her mind, and the only thing she felt towards him right now.

The door slammed, and she was left there, shivering in the cold. She never hated the snow, or the smoke, or that damn song the band had just finished in that moment. She never hated the city as much as she did just then. 

The door reopened, and Wes walked out. He smiled at her, but all she could do was nod. "Hey Jen, I thought I saw you come out here."

"Yeah."

"Roger's looking for you."

"Tell him something came up and I'll see him at home."

"Everything okay?" She saw the hint of concern flash over Wes' brown eyes.

"Fine."

"Alright. I'll tell him. Have a good night."

"You too."

Jen turned and walked down the street. The loft was two blocks away, but it never felt as far and foreign to her. She glanced up at the flickering sign that advertised a local deli.

She was starting to hate those neon lights.

*                           *                         *                              *

Review please.

You'll see why Travis is the way he is, and what happens because of the events that just took place in the upcoming chapters.


	23. Aftermath

CHAPTER 23

A/N: Just a quick note: The song in the last chapter is credited to Cryin' by Aerosmith. I just forgot to throw it in when I updated late that night.

You'll see a few people that were only briefly mentioned in other chapters in this chapter, so let me just let you all know who they are:

**Jake Wilson and Maura Bennett: **Roger and Mark's neighbors that live on the third floor in the apartment exactly underneath them. They were first talked about in Chapter 13. They've been dating on and off for about the past two years, and yes, they both knew Mimi. Jake is a firefighter for the FDNY and Maura is a physical therapist, most recently Roger's physical therapist for his shoulder. 

**Alex Bennett:** Maura's older brother. He's a cop for the NYPD and also lives in the same apartment with Jake and Maura. 

A big thank you to: Stef, EMI, Mimithebaby, Michelle, MaureentheDramaQueen, Jan, and Amy for the great reviews! Thank you all so much. :o)

*                 *                *               *

The thoughts that had been running through Jen's head on the way back to the loft completely blocked out the bitter cold. She didn't know what she was supposed to do or to say to anyone when she walked back into that apartment. The events that had just taken place not even twenty minutes before seemed very surreal to her, and the longer she walked, the more numb she became to everything. The icy wind blew through the sheer material of the black shirt she had layered over the red tank top, and for the first time that night, she felt the weight of everything slice right through her.

Jen ascended the metal stairs slowly, trying to balance her weight steadily in her stiletto heels, but at the same time trying not to crumble right there and have a breakdown in front of all the tenants on the second floor. As she reached the fourth floor apartment, she silently prayed that she didn't look too terrible. Hoped that Mark wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary when she walked in. That she didn't have any bruises forming across her face or any other markings that he could easily see, because the last thing she needed was for him to ask her questions about what had happened. The questions would make her have to believe it was very real, and she didn't want to have anything to do with that at the moment. It would be hard enough trying to get that through Roger's head later on when he got home.

She leaned over and pulled the key out of the flowerpot and stuck it into the door, ignoring the slight pain that she had just felt around her lower back and towards her hip. She jarred the door a little bit and it gave way, creaking open in all its glory. So much for a quiet entrance.

Mark was sitting on the couch, a notebook propped up against the pillows. He had a pencil in his hand and was tapping it against the cover rhythmically. Roger had a habit of doing the same when he was writing lyrics, although he usually was trying to match the lyrics up to a beat formed in his head. God, she needed to stop thinking about Roger. He looked over at her and smiled. "Hey."

Jen forced herself to smile as she shut the door behind her. "Hi."

"Abby went to bed a little while ago. I let her stay up and watch ET with me," he grinned. "She really liked it."

"That's good." Jen ran her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself. The air inside the loft was much warmer than outside, but she couldn't get warm. No amount of trying to warm herself up could erase the memory of what had happened. It had been so cold, and a part of her couldn't stop shaking. The other part wanted to wake up from this nightmare and have it never happen. She wanted everything to go back to normal. But she was so frozen…

Mark waved his hand in front of her face and she jumped back about ten feet. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even realized that he had gotten up from the couch and walked over to her, let alone started carrying out a one side conversation.

"You okay?" He glanced over at the clock. "It's only ten. I wasn't expecting you home so early." He grabbed her arm and rubbed it gently. "Jesus, you're freezing. Are you okay? And where's your jacket?"

Jen pulled her arm out of his grip and walked past him. "Nothing Mark. Just please—I don't want to talk about it right now. Just please leave me alone."

"Did Roger do something? Did you guys get into another fight?" Mark followed her into the bedroom and watched her sit down on the edge of the bed carefully.

Something about Roger ever doing what Travis did to her crossed her mind and she panicked. She complete froze on that bed and started crying. Mark watched the color drain from her face and immediately, a horrible feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Whatever had happened to Jen that night, he knew it wasn't good. There had to have been a reason she was home early. And it might have had something to do with Roger.

_Or someone Roger knew_.

Mark let the thought register in his mind as he thought about it. At one point or another, he had a problem with Roger's band members. Partially because they were very heavy into drugs and only had pulled Roger in farther, deepening his addiction. He knew that before Roger was with April, and before Wes got married, a string of groupies had frequented the loft. The second half of the reason why Mark didn't particularly care for Roger's friends. But Travis and Evan had always been the wildest of the four in the band, and Mark couldn't stand it when they were around. He started silently naming people that Roger knew well enough that Jen could have possibly met in the last month and a half. Travis. Evan. Wes. Lori. A few bartenders. 

"Jen, did something happen tonight at the gig?"

She brought her knees to her chest and rested her head on it. But before she did so, Mark could make out the slow nod of her head. 

"Did you and Roger get into a fight?"

She looked up at him and shook her head, blinking back the tears. "No. He promised me that we would go ring shopping tomorrow and he told me that he loved me. And then I only went down the hall. It was so smoky in there and I walked down the hall. I wanted to go see him," she sobbed as she covered her mouth.

Mark sat down and wrapped his arm around her. She curled up against him and only started crying harder into his chest. "Jen you can trust me. Just tell me what happened, okay?"

"No. I don't want to talk about it. Because if I talk about it—it happened. And it didn't. It didn't." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "He was Roger's friend. Roger trusted him. It didn't happen."

Mark knew then what she was talking about. It finally dawned on him. It didn't take a real genius to figure out what she was too upset to talk about. He knew. _He just knew_. 

"Jen please, just tell me who did this to you. I won't make you talk about it again. I promise." He rubbed her back as her hand clutched his shirt tighter. "Please."

Jen swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and closed her eyes. "Mark please don't—"

"Please Jen."

Jen heard the anger rising in his voice. Mark rarely got angry. Mark observed and kept his feelings bottled up inside, daring someone to pry the cork out of the bottle. Usually that person was Roger.

"Travis," she whispered. So quietly that Mark had to strain to hear it. But he caught it, and his anger just about boiled over at the point.

"Fuck," he cursed. "That bastard. If Roger doesn't kill him, I will." Mark enveloped Jen in a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. "He's not fucking getting away with this."

"Mark please," Jen begged him. "All I want to do right now is take a really long, hot shower and go to sleep and pretend this never happened." She finally noticed that she was sitting in Mark's lap and got up quickly. "Just, can we not talk about this anymore?"

Mark shook his head. "Jen, no. I'm calling Roger. And then I'm taking you to the hospital. Don't even try to fucking argue with me about it. You're going."

She said nothing, but instead sat back down on the bed at the point farthest away from Mark, near the headboard. Jen grabbed a pillow and clutched it to her chest. It smelled like Roger, and something about that comforted her. It was almost as if his arms were around her at that moment and he was telling her everything was going to be okay. That things would go back to normal.

Mark watched her sit there, almost motionless in the corner of the bed and knew it was bad. Jen was not the one to retreat into a shell. No, that was him. To see her sitting on that bed, still not knowing much more than the fact that she was raped that night almost broke his heart. For all the years he had known Jen, she was always the one person to take charge. She even had an effect on Roger that Mark couldn't compete with. He had always tried to get some sense pounded into his head in between his attempts to shut out the world and song lyrics. But Jen had always been able to calm him down when he was going off on another one of his tirades. She took a lot of crap from him over the years, and Mark didn't give her enough credit for that. He never had. But seeing Jen now, so quiet and reserved, that was completely foreign to him. Truth was, it scared the hell out of him and he didn't know how to cope with that.

Abby appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and clutching a stuffed animal. "Hi Mommy."

Jen smiled at her. "Hi baby."

"You're home already? And where's Roger?"

Mark took note of the tired expression that was growing on Jen's face. He figured the best thing to do right now was to have Abby stay with someone overnight. Maureen was probably exhausted, and Collins—well he didn't know exactly where Collins was, he just knew he wasn't home. Possibly at the gig. He also didn't feel like trekking Abby all the way uptown to stay with Benny and Alison. Jesse had just turned two months old but still, Mark figured they were still getting the baby adjusted. Then a little light bulb clicked on in his head and he thought of Jake and Maura from downstairs. Maura's brother was a cop, and they needed to get the police involved in this.

"Hey Abby? How about we get your coat and your pillow together. Do you remember Maura from downstairs?"

She nodded. "Yeah Uncle Mark. I remember."

"Well I think you're going to sleep over there tonight. Then either your dad or me will come and get you in the morning. Okay?"

Abby nodded again. "Okay," she agreed. "But why can't I just stay here?"

Mark didn't know how to explain that to her, and he knew Jen wasn't up for even trying to explain that to her brainy three year old. "I just need to help your mom out with something. How about you go and sit on the couch so I can make a phone call. Sound good?"

"Sure Uncle Mark." Abby walked out of the room, her blanket trailing behind her.

Jen looked up at Mark and shook her head. "Don't call him. Travis said he would kill me and Abby if I told anyone." She was still crying, and Mark hated that. He hated having to do this. He hated the position he was in, and he hated the fact that this had happened in the first place. 

"Well it looks like I'm going down with the both of you, and frankly, right now I say fuck Travis, because when Roger gets his hands on him, he'll be chewed and spit back out like the piece of shit he is," Mark told her defiantly. "And then if I ever get a hold of him, he'll be sorry he ever fucked with you."

She turned onto her side and propped her head up on the pillow, knees still brought up to her chest. She couldn't help but smile through the tears, because this was her Marky threatening to beat someone up for her. That was usually left to Roger. Mark used words to fight, not his fists, and it was unusual for her to hear that from him.

"Okay," Jen managed to murmur. 

Mark dialed Roger's cell phone number and tried to wait as patiently as he could while the line buzzed. As he had expected, Roger didn't pick up and the call was forwarded to his voicemail. The familiar message crackled over the receiver of the phone.

_"You've reached Roger Davis. Leave a fucking message."_

He waited for the beep. "Roger it's Mark. Don't know if you're even going to bother to check your phone tonight after the gig, but if you get this, you need to get home as soon as you can. Something happened with Jen. She's—" Mark hesitated. He didn't want to say that she was okay, because she was far from it. "At the loft with me right now. Talk to you later."

"He didn't answer, did he?"

Mark shook his head and sighed. "Nope. But it's probably too loud for him to hear it, and either he doesn't have it on vibrate or he doesn't have it in his pocket."

"Okay."

"Look Jen, I can't tell you how I know how you feel. Because I don't know how you do feel. But what I can tell you is that you're safe with me, okay? And you're sure as hell safe with Roger. I'm going to take Abby downstairs and let Maura know what's going on. Is that okay with you?"

She nodded. "Her brother's a cop, right?"

"Yeah he is."

"Does that mean you're going to tell him what happened?"

"I'd like to. I really think you should let me. Travis shouldn't be allowed to get away with this," Mark told her cautiously. "Can I do that?."

"I want Abby to be safe. Tell him."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," Jen answered. "I don't care if that means I have to go to the hospital or retell the story a hundred times. I'm not letting some bastard touch my daughter," she sobbed.

Mark gave her a loose hug. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise. Are you okay staying here by yourself for a few minutes?"

Jen nodded. "Yeah." She stood up off the bed and followed him out into the living room. Abby was still sitting on the couch, although she looked half asleep. "Baby, Uncle Mark is gonna take you downstairs now."

"I'll see you later Mommy."

Jen gave Abby a hug. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Love you too Mommy." Abby placed her hand in Mark's outstretched one.

"We'll be right back."

Jen nodded and closed the door. She hesitated before dead bolting it as well. She took a quick look around and sat down on the couch, draping the ratty blanket across her body.

She knew she should feel safe. But the reality was, she didn't anymore.

*                           *                       *                         *

"Thanks for doing this. I know you're off duty."

"Don't even worry about it. I'd rather I do it then some asshole down at the station filing the report." Alex shook his head and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. "I still can't believe that happened to her. But yeah, they say that eighty five percent of rapists are people that the victim knows. I just can't believe this shit. Roger's a good guy."

Mark nodded. "Yeah."

"He doesn't know yet, does he?" Alex asked as Mark tried to unlock the door.

"No. I think we're waiting to break it to him when he gets home." Mark tried unlocking the door again, but he comprehended that Jen had most likely dead bolted the door the minute he left the apartment.

"Jen? It's Mark."

He heard footsteps and then the scratch of the lock turning. The door was slowly opened and Jen was revealed towards the side of the doorframe. Mark watched her say nothing to him as he and Alex entered the loft. Instead she crossed back over the worn carpet and resumed her seat on the beaten couch. 

"Are there and close female friends of Jen's that we can have come up here while I ask her a few questions?" Alex whispered to Mark under his breath.

"My uh—girlfriend lives downstairs on the first floor. I didn't really want to wake her because she's been sick but yeah, I'll have her come up."

Jen overheard this and shook her head. "No. Don't wake Maureen up. She needs sleep." She took in Alex's sweatpants and tee shirt. "You're a cop?"

Alex nodded and showed her his badge. "Officer Alex Bennett with the NYPD. Maura's brother."

"Okay."

Alex then took the initiative and sat down on the coffee table, close enough to question her, but enough of a distance so she didn't feel uncomfortable. Although with two males in the room, he knew she had to feel uneasy. Hence the reason why he had asked if there was a female that could come up and sit with her.

"Is Roger on his way home yet?" she asked softly.

Mark shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know Jen. I can't get a hold of him. He's still at the gig."

"If you want, I can get someone to go down there and get him back here?" Alex suggested.

Why hadn't he thought of that? "It's up to you Jen."

Jen glanced up at the clock on the wall. "He should be home soon anyway. It's eleven thirty."

"Jen—"

"Wait until he gets home, okay Mark? Please."

Mark didn't put up an argument and sat down on the edge of the couch. He listened as Alex started asking her some very basic questions. Just enough to give him some information on Travis and his whereabouts. He knew Alex needed Jen to go to the hospital and have a rape kit done so he could process the arrest warrant for Travis. They needed the evidence. He also had a feeling that there was a chance that she wouldn't go until Roger got home, if at all. Jen could be unbearably stubborn when she wanted to, just like Roger could, and that was probably one of the key factors they went together so well. They completed each other, like an equation that had been trying to solve itself for years.

Roger needed to get home right now.

*                        *                    *                       *

"Good gig Davis. See you tomorrow."

"Later Robbie." Roger put out the cigarette he had been smoking in the ashtray and continued into the main area of the club. The place had started to empty out, and was replaced by the usual Friday night crowd. He spotted Collins and Joey at a table in the back and made his way over to them. 

"Hey." Roger looked around. "Where's Jen at?"

Joey looked at him with a blank expression on his face. "She went to the bathroom about two hours ago and told us that if she didn't come back, she was backstage with you."

"Uh, no." Roger shook his head. "I haven't seen her since right before the gig started. She hasn't been backstage at all. He looked over a few tables and noticed that Travis and Evan were sitting down, drinking beer and smoking. "Hey Travis, have you seen Jen tonight anywhere?"

Travis took a sip of his beer and shrugged. "Nope. Sorry man." He then turned back to Evan and took the joint out of his hand.

"She might have went home," Collins suggested. "Did you check your cell phone?"

Roger shook his head and dug it out of his jacket pocket. "Haven't even bothered to look at it the whole night." A message briefly flashed across the screen, letting him know that he had a voicemail. He pressed the send button, dialed his password, and pressed the phone against his ear to listen.

Collins noticed how his expression had changed as the seconds passed. First there was confusion, then anger, then confusion once again. Collins could read Roger too well. For all the years he had known him, it had taken him a long time to crack him, but now, he knew. He could tell his emotions. Roger tried to hide them, but oftentimes he couldn't, and he would make a vain attempt to shut people out when they caught on. 

"What did it say?"

Roger swallowed and adjusted his guitar case over his shoulder. "It was Mark. He said something happened to Jen. She's at the loft with him."

"Jesus," Joey responded. He stood up and pulled his jacket on. 

"Let's go. Fuck the money for drinks. I'll pick up the tab tomorrow," Roger ordered them. "Now."

Collins knew better than to argue with Roger when he was like this. By the time he had picked up his own jacket, Roger had already reached the door, Joey not far behind.

*                           *                     *                   *

Not much had been said or done on the short walk to the loft. Roger and Joey had both lit up cigarettes and were sucking on them. Collins knew Roger always smoked when he was nervous or angry. He also knew he was a social smoker, which was probably a habit that had rubbed off on his younger brother, who Collins didn't know that much about aside from the idle conversation they had been making during the gig.

Roger's breath caught in his throat when the reached the corner of 11th Street. He saw the two squad cars parked outside of the apartment building, their red and blue lights flashing all over the street. 

"Jesus Christ," he muttered. He started to sprint down the street. When he reached the stairs, he took them as fast as he could to reach the fourth floor. 

Joey and Collins had caught up to him at this point. "Rog, you don't know anything yet," his brother told him. 

"Yeah, that's right, I don't fucking know **anything** besides the fact that something happened to her."

"Yes, something happened to her, but she's at the loft. She might be fine. Just wait and see," Collins added in an attempt to get Roger thinking straight.

Roger pushed open the door. A policewoman was standing against the wall, talking to Alex, whom Roger recognized briefly from knowing Jake and Maura all those years. Jen was sitting on the couch next to Mark. He was talking to her softly, but stood up quickly when he noticed Roger.

"What's going on?" Roger asked him. "Why are the cops here?"

Mark walked over to him and pulled him aside. "Roger—"

Roger brushed past Mark and walked over to Jen. "Baby, are you okay? What happened?" He slid his hand into hers and squeezed it lightly. 

Jen avoided his eyes. Instead she ran her other fingers over the upholstery of the couch as a few more tears slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip and pulled her hand out of his and rested them both in her lap.

Mark could tell Roger was getting frustrated. He was waiting for an outburst from him any second. "Roger—"

"Mark! Shut the fuck up and tell me what happened? Why won't Jen talk to me? What the hell is going on?" he shouted at him. "Why are two cop cars parked outside of this damn building?"

There it was.

"Sir, please," the woman police officer reprimanded him, raising her hand in front of herself. "We need you to calm down. You are Jen's boyfriend, I presume."

"Fiancé," he corrected her bitterly. "And don't point your fucking fingers in my face and tell me to calm down."

"My mistake. We need you to calm down though sir."

Roger ignored her and walked over to Mark. "Tell me what happened."

Mark grabbed Roger by the arm and pulled him into the bedroom and shut the door behind them. "Do me a favor and stop running your mouth because it's not gonna get you anywhere with Jen or the police."

"Don't talk to me like I'm five years old. Tell me what fucking happened. What happened to her? Something happened didn't it?"

Mark nodded and leaned against the door. "Roger—"

"Stop saying my name like that! What happened? Is she sick? Cut the shit!" he yelled at him.

"She was raped tonight! The last thing she needs is for you to lose your fucking temper and freak out on her. She was raped, Roger."

*                           *                       *                      *

Please don't forget to take the short minute to review for me! Thank you. :o)

**NEXT UP:** Jen opens up to Roger; Travis is arrested.


	24. Bed of Roses

CHAPTER 24

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I appreciated them!

Enjoy the next chapter!

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"She was raped tonight! The last thing she needs is for you to lose your fucking temper and freak out on her! She was raped, Roger."

Roger stared at Mark and leaned up against the dresser. At that moment, his stomach flipped and all the emotions he was feeling in relation to why no one was telling him anything were replaced by a mixture of sadness and a greater hatred. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. This was hitting him too close to home and it had happened to someone he loved. 

"Mark—Christ," Roger finally managed to get out. "This is Jen!"

Mark nodded. "I know. That's why you really need to be there for her right now. She can't go through this alone." He dropped his hands to his side. "She trusts you Roger."

"I **know **that." He sat down on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start."

Mark sat down next to him and moved a pillow out of the way. "For starters, you need to get her to the hospital. Just to get things checked out and so they can file the report. Then when you both get back, be there when she needs you to be. She might not want to talk about it at first, but when she does, she'll want to talk to you."

Leave it to Mark to be able to take charge of the situation. Roger didn't have much of a response, so instead he settled for just simply nodding his head to agree with him. "Yeah. I can do that. Did she say who did it? Did she even know the person?" He ran his fingers through his blonde hair in frustration.

"Well—"

"She knew the person?" Roger stood up and looked down at Mark. "Who the fuck was it? Do I know this person?"

Mark nodded. "Yes."

"Who?"

"Just keep it in your macho head that you need to get Jen to the hospital before you take off and do anything asinine. Okay?"

Roger rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever. Who was it?"

"Jen told me it was Travis. And you and I both know she's not a liar. She especially wouldn't even lie about something—like this." Mark waited for the second explosion of the night to come from Roger. It was written all over his features.

"What?! You have got to be kidding me. Travis? I just fucking asked him if he had seen Jen tonight when we couldn't find her after the gig. You mean that little shit just did that to her, then lied to me? He's the fucking bass player in the band! I've known him for years! And he fucking raped my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

Roger said nothing, but Mark knew that he didn't want to believe what he had just told him about Travis. It was true that Roger had known Travis for a long time, probably nothing short of seven years. Roger had also trusted Travis with a lot over those years, and to do this to his girlfriend was the ultimate betrayal. Mark didn't even know how else he was supposed to put it. They all just needed to face facts.

"You should go out there and sit with her," Mark said softly. 

"Yeah. Okay." Roger made no intention of moving, so Mark instead opened the bedroom slowly. It was then that Roger finally stood up and put one foot in front of the other. 

The woman police approached Roger before he could reach Jen. "Sir, I'd just like to take the time to apologize to you for us getting off on the wrong foot, but in these situations, we do need the close relations to the victim to remain as calm as possible." She held up her badge so he could see it. "Claudia Robinson of the NYPD."

"Don't worry about it." Roger looked over her shoulder at Jen. Their eyes met briefly before he looked back at the officer. "Can I help you with something or what? Because my first priority right now is my girlfriend, not you."

"We're only trying to help you both in this situation. Now, Miss Walsh has given us the critical information for this man—"

"Lady, do me a favor and put it into terms that regular fucking New Yorkers can understand or I'm finished with this conversation," Roger shouted at her. "Yes, I understand the damn situation. I know we have to go to the hospital. Do you need anything else on Travis that I can help you with? Or is that enough to shut you up for awhile?"

"Holy shit," Joey said loudly. 

"Does he always do this?" Collins interjected. 

Joey nodded. "Only when he gets really pissed off."

Mark crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell me about it."

"We'll just need you to go to the hospital. Would you like an escort there, or we can meet you there—"

"I'll drive them," Joey interrupted her. "If that's okay."

Officer Robinson nodded. "That's fine. We'll meet you in the emergency room of the NYU Medical Center in half an hour then." She jotted down a few lines of basic information from Joey just for routine purposes, even checking his driver's license. Both Alex and Officer Robinson left around eleven thirty.

Joey cleared his throat. "Um, I'll just get my keys and warm up my car."

Roger nodded. "Yeah. We'll meet you down there in a second."

Collins planted a kiss on Jen's forehead and headed into the kitchen. "I'll either make or get food so you guys can eat."

"Thanks," Roger added. He looked to Mark, who took the hint he was throwing at him. Roger wanted to clear as much people out of the loft that he could so he could comfortably talk to Jen. 

"I'll meet you in the car."

Jen nodded and Mark left the apartment. She looked up at Roger. "I um, I don't have anything here with me. I left my jacket and bag at the club. My insurance card is in there."

"Don't worry about that right now. You can use my insurance."

"They won't let you do that."

"Just use my fucking insurance!" Roger didn't mean to yell at her, but was so frustrated with the whole situation that he didn't know what to do with himself. He caught Collins' disapproving glare from the kitchen and sighed. "I'm sorry baby, I don't mean to yell at you."

She nodded and stood up. "Can we just get this over with then? So I can take a shower?"

"Yeah. Okay. Whatever you want to do." Roger took off his jacket and handed it to her. "Wear that. It's freezing out."

"Then what are you going to wear?"

"I don't care. Just wear my jacket."

Jen nodded and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Just don't yell at me okay? I'm really sorry and don't yell at me," she started crying. "Just don't yell at me." She kept repeating this over and over again, propped up against the wall in his leather jacket that was about two sizes too big for her. 

Roger sighed and walked over to her. He rested his hand on her arm and was surprised when she buried her face in his chest. He wasn't expecting that at all. "I'm sorry. It's not you fault. None of this is your fault. I'm so sorry. Please don't cry. It's not your fault." He started stroking her back in small circles and wrapped his arms gently around her. "I'm mad at Travis and what he did to you. I'm not mad at you and I don't mean to take it out on you. I could fucking kill him for what he did, but I'm definitely not mad at you."

*                      *                        *                      *

The drive to the hospital took about twenty minutes. Joey was driving and Mark was navigating in the front seat, leaving Roger seated in the back of the black Explorer with Jen. He had brought her gray sweatpants, an old shirt of his, and her trainers for her to change into after the exam, since Mark realized last minute that they'd probably need her clothes for evidence. She hadn't said much since they had left, but seemed to be shivering a lot, which worried Roger. Joey had his heat practically on full blast and they were all sweating but Jen was freezing. 

"Are you cold?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Come here." He opened his arms and she pressed her head into his chest. They spent the remaining minutes circling the parking deck, Roger just stroking Jen's hair softly as she remained curled up against him.

"Fuck, this is why I hate New York City." Joey made a quick K turn and drove out of the parking deck. "Can I drop you guys off at the emergency entrance while me and Mark try to find a damn parking place?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah." Roger only let go of Jen to let her get out of the truck, but she rested up against him the minute the headed towards the admit desk.

Officer Robinson and Alex were waiting inside and handed Jen a few forms to sign. Roger took these and filled them out for her, only pausing so she could sign them where they needed to be. 

"I hope my parents aren't on tonight."

"I don't think they are."

Jen looked up at him. "Can you please ask and make sure? Because it would be really awkward if they were here. I don't want to explain this to them right now."

"Okay." Roger approached the charge nurse. "Is Doctor Walsh on right now?"

The woman shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. Rebecca Walsh is off today, and William Walsh is currently in a surgical consultation upstairs and he won't be expected in the ER until later tonight or early this morning. Would you like me to page him for you?"

"No thank you."

It wasn't long before Jen was called in for her exam.

"Jennifer Walsh?" A middle-aged nurse was holding a clipboard in her hand, along with a pencil.

The same receptionist that Roger had just spoken to looked up from the computer she was typing at, but her eyes darted back down to the screen. She hadn't made the connection between the last names at all. It was then that Roger realized he was lucky for his stupid mistake of telling the nurse in the first place, because if she had recognized the last names and put one and one together, Jen's father would have been downstairs in a heartbeat.

Jen stood up and slowly took of Roger's jacket. She handed it to him and bit her lip. "Well, I guess I'll see you in a few."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

The nurse that was holding the clipboard must have sensed the situation, and she briskly nodded at Roger. "He's more than welcome to come in with you, although most women prefer limited men in the room."

"It's fine."

The exam was conducted and all the samples were gathered and shipped off to the lab for analysis. Roger held her hand the entire time and tried to be the strong one for her, but it tore him up to have her lying there on that metal table because someone he had called a friend took advantage of her.

"They're almost done, Jen," he whispered in her ear as they finished up the black light portion of the exam.

She nodded, but buried her face in her hands and started crying. "I just don't want to be here. I want to go home," she quietly sobbed.

Roger kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand. "I promise that everything's gonna be okay. It's almost over. You're doing great," he told her. "I love you."

The woman doctor ended the exam and quickly jotted something down on her chart. "Alright Jen, the lab will give you a call on Monday with the results of your STD and HIV tests. Have you eaten anything in the last few others or consumed any alcoholic beverages?"

Jen nodded. "I had two martinis, but nothing to eat since breakfast.."

"Normally I wouldn't allow you to take this outside of the exam room, but there's a pill that I can give you that prevents you from getting pregnant. It's basically very similar to the 'morning after' pill. It does require you to have something to eat and I'd rather you have that food digested than taking it on an empty stomach because it can make you a little nauseous. So I'll leave it in this container for you, but promise me you'll have something to eat when you get home and then take it an hour after you finish eating?"

"Okay."

"Other than that, you have a clean bill of health and I'll just leave this file with the police. I'd suggest that you do look into a support group if you find that it may help you."

"Thanks."

"Have a good night and take care." The doctor left the prescription pill on the counter before leaving the room.

"Um, I have your extra clothes. I didn't know what you wanted, so I took these." Roger handed her the sweatpants and the shirt. 

Jen nodded and quickly changed into them. Roger tried not to look at her as she did this, because he knew that would probably make her feel uncomfortable. She slipped the black and gray sneakers on and pulled her dark brown hair into a loose ponytail. 

"Thanks."

Alex met them outside the exam room. "I'll meet you back at the loft and we can take care of the Travis situation. I just need to know where he lives and I'll get over there with the arrest warrant."

"I'm going with you."

"No. I don't think you should," Alex told him.

"Well fuck what you think, because whether you like it or not I'm going with you anyway." With that said, Roger brushed past him and bumped straight into Mark and his younger brother.

"How'd it go?" Mark questioned.

Jen shrugged. "It went fine."

"We're taking the subway back," Roger told his brother. Joey nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's after midnight, why don't you just drive back—"

"Mark, drop it. We're taking the subway. I'll see you back at the loft."

Mark nodded. "Alright. See you."

*                           *                              *                             *

The subway started rocking back and forth as it pulled out of the last stop. Roger had his arm wrapped around Jen's shoulders and she was leaned up against him once again. They hadn't talked very much since they had gotten on the train, but every so often she said something to him. He tried to listen to the music that was crackling out of the rusted speakers, but with the noise of the subway and various people chattering, it was hard to make it out.

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know 'Cause a bottle of vodka is still lodged in my head 

_As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead_

Roger smiled to himself when he finally caught the lyrics. It was Bon Jovi's 'Bed of Roses', and it had been, and probably still was, his and Jen's song. They had caught it one day years ago, just lying on his bed talking, and soon after that he had asked her out. They even had danced to it at their senior prom.

With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning 

_While some marching band keeps it's own beat in my head_

_While we're talking_

_About all the things that I long to believe_

_About love and truth and what you mean to me_

_And the truth is baby; you're all that I need_

Jen's head moved off his chest and she glanced at him. "Hey. That's our song."

He nodded. "Yeah. Took you long enough to realize it."

She gave him a small smile. "I haven't heard that song in years."

"Neither have I."

"Figures that it plays over some shitty subway PA system at almost one in the morning."

"Yeah really." Roger grinned down at her. He was just glad to have her talking, even if was just for a little while.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses 

_For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails_

_I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is_

_And lay you down on a bed of roses_

"How many more stops?"

"A few more. Maybe five. You want me to get you something to eat so you can take that pill?"

Jen shrugged. "Maybe." They were silent for a few more minutes. "What happens if I get pregnant?"

Roger didn't know what to say to that.  He didn't have a good answer prepared for her. "I don't know."

"Thanks for the help," she said bitterly. 

"Well what the hell do you want me to say to that? I'm trying to be as supportive of you as I fucking can right now, okay? If you get pregnant, then I don't know what to tell you, because I don't know what you'll want. I don't know if you'll want to keep it, or give it up for adoption, or have an abortion because it's not my body. I don't know what to tell you Jen. That's why they gave you the pill."

"Well there's still a chance it could happen," she said quietly.

"I know that. And if it does, we'll talk about it then. But right now I don't know what to say to you. I'm sorry," Roger apologized.

Well I'm so far away 

_That each step that I take is on my way home_

_A king's ransom in dimes I'd given each night_

_Just to see through this payphone_

_Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through_

_'Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you_

_I'll just close my eyes and whisper_

_Baby, blind love is true_

"This is just so fucked up. This whole situation," she said loudly. "I don't know. What if I am?"

"Then you are," he sighed, dropping his head into his hands. 

"Then I'm supposed to have that baby?"

Roger looked at her. He knew she was being irrational right now, but he decided that her emotions had to come out sometime, and better aimed at him then someone else. "I don't know."

"Well would you want that baby if I chose to have it?" she asked him. "It's not your baby. It wouldn't have been fathered by you."

"Jen—"

"Would you want it?"

"If you were pregnant, and you chose to have it, then yes, I would want it."

"But it's not your baby! It wouldn't be yours!" she sobbed. "I want another baby of yours, not someone else's, but I can't have that! Because you're sick and you can't get me pregnant! We can't have another baby!" A few people turned around to look at her as she said this, but lost interest quickly.

Roger's heart almost broke when he heard her say that. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he continued hugging her lightly. The ironic thing was, he wouldn't mind having another kid around. He already loved being around Abby. But any chance of him trying to get Jen pregnant would mean an even higher risk of her getting infected with HIV, and he wasn't willing to risk that unless there was some miraculous way around it. 

"What are you trying to tell me Jen? I'm sorry about what happened tonight. Believe me, when the police and I find Travis he'll pay for everything he fucking did to you tonight. But none of this is your fault. Don't even think that. I fucking blame myself for letting you go to that gig tonight and being around him. I'm so sorry." He didn't even realize that he was just rambling on and on without even answering her question in the first place. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you feel better. And I'm so fucking sorry we can't have another baby because I want one too. But I can't change the fact that I'm sick. I would if I could, but I can't."

Jen nodded, but this only made her cry harder. "I know, I know. There are so many different things you can do these days. I mean, we can try in vitro fertilization because now they can isolate the virus so I won't get infected. I don't know, I'm sorry, I just want to go home," she cried.

Roger closed his eyes and rested his head against the glass of the window, still holding her. He wanted to change so many things right now.

*                               *                                  *                              *

"You sure this is his place?"

Roger nodded at Alex. After they had got off the subway, he had dropped Jen off at the loft with Collins, but headed out again with Mark and Joey to hopefully arrest Travis. That is, if they could find him. 

Alex nodded to two other police officers and they disappeared inside the club. Roger followed with Mark and Collins. He spotted Travis before either of the officers could and automatically approached him. 

"Hey man," Travis greeted him. "We were just finishing—"

Roger's fist met Travis' jaw line and they loud crack resulting from it practically echoed throughout the room. He grabbed Travis by his shirt and threw him up against the wall. "What did you do to Jen tonight?"

The police officers spotted the brawl and ran over automatically, trying to break it up. Mark grabbed Roger by his arm and tried to pull him off of Travis, but was quickly pushed aside.

"We just had some fun! She wanted to!" Travis' eyes darted to Roger's fist again. "She fucking wanted to!"

"Bullshit!" Roger slammed him up against the wall again. "You fucking raped her and you know it!"

"She was asking for it!"

Roger hooked him again in cheek and Joey took the initiative to try and help the police officers break it up. "You fucking stay away from her! As far as I'm concerned, you're out of the band. If I ever catch you near my girlfriend and our daughter I'll kill you. You understand me? Do you?" he screamed at him.

Travis said nothing kicked Roger in his ribs. "Get the fuck off me. You don't know who you're messing with it."

"Break it up!" One of the officers shouted.

Alex pinned Travis up against the wall and handcuffed his arms. "Travis Dunn, you're under arrest for the alleged crimes of rape and sexual assault. You have the right to remain silent and anything you do or say can and will be used against you in a court of law."

Joey had managed to block himself in front of Roger so he couldn't lunge at Travis anymore. "Rog, come on. Let it go. He's shit, he's not worth it."

"You're out of the fucking band! Come near this place again and I'll kill you."

"We'll see what Wes has to say about this! You can't just kick me out of the band!" The police and Alex escorted Travis outside and into the nearest squad car.

"We'll find a replacement!" Roger shouted after him. He held his hands to his left side and rubbed them.

"Roger—" Mark started. He handed him some ice from a nearby glass to press against it, but Roger just knocked it out of his hand.

"Stay the fuck away from me, just let me be," Roger breathed heavily before taking off, out of the club and out of sight. 

Mark shook his head and sighed. "Christ."

"Let it go. He's just upset. He'll be fine in the morning," Joey reminded him. "I guess we should head back then?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah, we might as well. So much for trying to help him out."

*                                   *                              *                            *

Roger sat down on the couch later that morning after he had gotten home from the club. Collins had told him that Jen had automatically gone to bed after eating something and taking her pill. She had been asleep for about an hour when Roger walked through the door. 

When you close your eyes know I'll be thinking about you Tonight I won't be alone but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely I've got nothing to prove for it's you that I'd die to defend 

Mark had decided to stay downstairs with Maureen, and Joey had opted to take the extra bedroom in Maureen's apartment to give Roger and Jen some time alone. It didn't help, because all Roger needed right now was someone to talk to, and the two people he had hoped would have listened wanted nothing to do with him right now. Jen was fighting her own battle right now because of what Travis had done to her. Even she probably didn't want to talk to him. 

Roger stood up and sat down at the island. He rested his head against the cool surface and drummed his fingers along the edge. Since when had life gotten so fucked up? Why did Jen have to get raped tonight? Why did he miss the first three years of Abby's life? Why did he have to contract HIV? Why did he choose to get addicted to heroin? Why, why, why. He felt another lump rise in his throat and reached for the cordless phone. Even though it was a little after three AM, he didn't care at this point. He managed to get his fingers to dial the number, and he listened as it rang.

Sandra Davis reached over her sleeping husband to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Mom?" Roger ran his fingers through his hair.

She sat up in bed as Jerry stirred next to her. "Roger? It's three in the morning, what's wrong?"

Roger tried to force the lump back down, but hot tears that sprung to his eyes replaced it. He wasn't a crier. Never had been. He preferred to resort to the well-perfected technique of locking people out of his life. But now tonight, with everything that happened and no one pushing him to open up, he didn't know what to do. This time around, there was no Mark begging him to face reality. No Collins constantly inquiring about what he could do to make Roger feel better. No Mimi—god, no Mimi at all. _Mimi was gone. _No Maureen trying to cheer him up with a joke or a funny parody of something that had happened earlier that day. He couldn't even make Jen feel better. He couldn't help her, and that was breaking him.

"Mom? I can't do this anymore." And with that he completely broke down on the phone with her. He told her everything. About shutting Mark out of his life. About April and how bad his heroin addiction really was. How he now had HIV because of that and about his stints in rehab. He told her about Mimi, how much he loved her, and how she was taken from him earlier that year. Mostly about how much he still missed her. He told Sandra about Abby, and Jen coming back. About proposing to her. When he got to the events that had happened tonight, he couldn't stop crying and realized that he was glad that Jen was sleeping and Mark and Joey weren't there, because he probably looked nothing short of insane. How many times did you see a twenty six year old man break down in your kitchen? 

"I'll be right there sweetie. Hang in there. I'll be right there and I love you," Sandra told him.

"Okay. I love you too." 

Sandra hung up the phone and quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Jerry was now sitting up and reading the paper because the conversation with Roger had taken so long. "I have to go to the city. Roger needs me."

Jerry nodded. "Then go. He's a good kid. He'll pull through this."

Sandra grabbed her purse and car keys before giving Roger's stepfather a quick kiss. "I'll give you a call and let you know when I'll be back."

"No problem."

*                         *                        *                            *

Roger hung the phone up and wiped at his eyes. Even though it had taken about an hour to explain everything to his mom, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. He had honestly needed that. She was on her way to the loft, and he knew that everything would be okay. He knew that it would take some time to get Jen back to her old self, but he knew that sooner or later, she would be. She'd pull through this and he'd help her through it.

He had faith that with a little more communication from everyone, things would get better. Hopefully. 

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses 

_For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails_

_I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is_

_And lay you down on a bed of roses_

*                                   *                            *                           *

Review please. :o)

Lyrics: 'Bed of Roses'; Bon Jovi.


	25. Second Thoughts

CHAPTER 25

A/N: Thanks for the reviews as always. :o) I hope you guys aren't losing interest, because I've been trying to update as much as I can but sometimes that gets a little rough with exams this week. Well, please don't forget to review, because your feedback means more than you might think and I do truly appreciate each and every one of the reviews I get for all my stories. 

*                   *                   *                 *

THREE DAYS LATER 

Maureen got up off the couch and passed down the hallway. She heard Mark's light snores coming from her bedroom and knew he was sound asleep. Abby was asleep right next to him. It only about five AM, and she figured that she was probably the only one up in the whole building. Some of her neighbors probably hadn't even gotten home for a night of partying. Might as well have been appropriate, considering the familiar nauseous feeling was making a return. She sighed and quickly emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Her bathroom was looking far too pretty to have to throw up in it every morning.

The past week had brought a lot of doubts to her mind, most certainly about herself, Mark, and the baby. She mostly doubted her ability to raise a child with little to no money to support it, let alone herself.  Her shifts had been cut back to two a week at the Life, and although she was still receiving strong tips, it wasn't enough to get by once she paid the bills and bought food. Maureen knew this baby would be the epitome of expensive. And she did feel horrible for admitting it, but the baby was technically—a mistake. 

As she sat on the edge of the bathtub in that small bathroom, she remembered a story she used to read when she was little. It was called _Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day_. Maureen realized that she read that book so much when she was growing up, after she moved to Chicago with her parents, that she practically had a copy of it imprinted in her mind. This week had been nothing story of terrible, and it had gotten progressively worse. Joanne had called her twice, bitching her out about not shipping the rest of the boxes to Seattle and missing their lunch dates. Then she couldn't stop feeling sick physically. All she could do was lie on the couch, watch TV, and munch on crackers and ginger ale. She was starting to worry, because she was getting very thin and realized that her obstetrician would take that as a negative sign. It was impossible to hold anything down. Then the clincher of the week had been Jen getting raped. When Mark had first told her, she burst into tears on the spot and exhausted herself to the point where she slept through the majority of the next day. Things between her and Mark had been strained as well. They had barely spoken much that week. He was always upstairs with Jen and Roger, leaving her downstairs by herself. She couldn't help but feel alone right now.

She wasn't ready for parenthood. She didn't want to worry about the money. She felt like an absolute traitor to herself and Mark for even thinking this, but thoughts of abortion had been running rampant through her mind. Maureen didn't want any child of hers suffering because their own mother couldn't take care of herself. Sighing, she ran her hands through her shoulder length curly hair. Glancing towards sink top, she spotted her prenatal vitamins, along with a bottle of Tylenol PM. 

Maybe instead of taking her disgusting vitamins, she'd take an extra dosage of Tylenol and sleep through the next week. Maybe swallowing the contents of the whole bottle and not being alive at all would serve a better purpose than the one she was serving right now.

*                          *                          *                    *

Roger awoke that Monday morning to feel someone's hand resting on his head, running it back and forth through his hair. He squinted and briefly opened us to realize it was just his mother sitting on the edge of the bed. Sandra was holding a glass of water, his pills, and what appeared to be a bottle of Tylenol. 

"Morning sweetie."

He sat up against the pillows and took the pills from her. He quickly swallowed them with the water. "Morning. What time is it?"

"A little after eleven. How'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess," Roger lied. The truth was, he had tossed and turned all last night. He hadn't slept in his room with Jen. Instead, he had ended up on the couch. He hated lying to his mother. He had been doing it for so much of his life, keeping one thing after the other from her. First his drug addiction, then his HIV status. Roger's mother was still in her early 50s, and after raising five children; he had learned he could rarely keep anything from her. But this time he had been able to keep something of importance from her, and even though she had her suspicions, she never pushed him for answers. Never judged him. Never said anything out of anger. He supposed she was just waiting all this time for him to come out and finally clue her in on what he had been keeping from her for so long.

"Well that's good. Do you want something to eat?"

Roger shook his head and sat up more against the arm of the couch. "Is Jen up yet?"

"She got up a little bit around seven I think. I heard her moving around in your room and the TV was on in there, but I think she went right back to bed. She hasn't been up since."

"Okay."

Sandra slid her petite frame onto the couch next to him. She stole one of the blankets from him and wrapped it around herself. "So."

"Yeah."

"You want to really tell me what's on your mind?"

Roger sighed and started playing with one of his earrings. He hadn't had a real sit down talk with his mom in years. He hadn't even talked to her that much when she first got to the loft early Saturday morning. Considering they used to spend about an hour talking to each other after school, it was a change for him. His mother even used to make a game out if it. He'd come home, she'd make him something to eat, they'd talk and she would try to tackle his chemistry homework with him. Then he'd spend another hour on the phone with Jen, or some days, he'd go over her house until his curfew, which was usually around eleven thirty on school nights.  "I'm confused. I guess."

Sandra tucked a blonde piece of hair behind her ear. "That's understandable. But you have to be more specific if you want me to be able to help you."

"I'm just really worried about Jen. I mean, she's hasn't completely isolated herself or anything, but she hasn't been acting that comfortable around me. I mean she has, but she hasn't. I don't want to be an asshole about the whole situation, but I really miss her. I miss the way things used to be. I miss us just being able to lie on the couch and watch a movie, me just holding her or whatever.  I don't know."

"You mean you miss the physical part of the relationship?"

Roger shrugged. "Yeah. We do a lot of things together. We shower together. We sleep together—well in more ways then one," he laughed. He blushed a little bit as he said that. He almost forgot that he was talking to his mom and not Mark.

Sandra laughed as well. "I know what you mean."

"I miss all of that. I miss her."

"Well honey you should probably try to bring it up with her. I'm not saying to push her into anything she doesn't want to do, but just let her know what she can trust you and most importantly, feel comfortable around you. Then just leave the invitation open. Next time you're sitting on the couch, ask her if she wants to watch a movie with you. Make sure it's okay to put your arm around her and all that. And if you want to kiss her or do anything else, ask her. I know it probably sounds a little weird, but in some ways you're basically rebuilding your physical relationship with her. The next time she takes a shower, maybe ask her if it would be okay if you took one with her to save hot water. See how things progress, and she'll be feeling back to her old self. She's been through something pretty traumatic, and you have to understand that she needs to build her comfort levels back up. Just be patient with her."

"Yeah." Roger ran his fingers through his hair. "Can I ask your opinion on something?"

"Of course."

"Jen wants to have another baby. She brought it up to me on the subway ride home. But you and I both know now that there would be no way she could conceive a baby without me infecting her."

"That's true."

"But I've been doing a lot of researching on in vitro fertilization for couples where one partner is HIV positive, usually the male. It turns out that there's actually something they can do to well, process my, you know." Now he was really starting to feel uncomfortable talking about this with his mom. "So they can isolate the virus and the sperm would be healthy. They'd put Jen on AZT just to be on the safe side, but in couples around the world and in the US, it's almost ninety eight percent effective."

Sandra nodded curiously. "I've actually heard about that. Annie was talking about it a few weeks ago. She said they've had a few couples inquiring about it recently, and it's supposedly effective, but costly."

"That's the downside. I found out the cost today."

"Well how much is it?"

Roger sighed. "Anywhere from $12,000 to $17,000 dollars for one round of in vitro. That is if it works. But Jen's young, and we'd have a better chance. If the insurance covers it, we'd be okay. We'd probably only have to pay a small part of it."

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's not risky, because there's a slight chance it could be. But I can guarantee you for the amount of money you'd pay for it, the doctors and specialists would do everything in their power for Jen to not contract the virus."

"That's what I was thinking."

"Well you thought right," Sandra smiled at him. "I think I'm going to take Miss Abby to Scarsdale with me for today, so I better go and wake her up. God knows she's still asleep at Mark and Maureen's." She kissed Roger on the cheek. "And talk to Jen when she wakes up. She trusts you."

He nodded. "Thanks Mom."

"Anytime sweetie."

*                           *                        *                         *

"Hey Rog?"

"Yeah?" Roger looked up from the lyrics he was trying, but failing miserably, at writing.

"Did Maureen happen to come by and talk to you or Jen today? Or yesterday?"

He shook his head. "Not that I know of. She definitely hasn't talked to me at all. Why?"

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. She's acting weird again. I'm starting to worry about her."

"Like last time? When she started cheating on you with men and women?" 

"Well—yeah. But it's different this time. I know it is."

"Mark, I'm not trying to get involved in your personal life or anything, but really, you know how I still feel about Maureen. She's manipulative and—"

"Vindictive?

"Spiteful. Yeah."

"Same difference." Mark sighed and rested his hand on his knee. "So what are you trying to tell me Roger?"

"That maybe you two shouldn't be together? I don't know. I have a headache and this isn't the top priority on my mind right now. No offense or anything, but you know that no matter how nice she tries to be to me, I still think she's a bitch. And whether you like to admit it or not, she did make your life hell for a long time. Maybe you should just think about that before you get into any long term commitment."

Mark felt his temper rising as Roger continued speaking. "Maybe you shouldn't be one to preach about commitment, considering you cheated on everyone of your girlfriends. Including Mimi."

"I didn't cheat on Mimi," he glared at him.

"Yeah, right. Whatever. But you did cheat on Jen and April repeatedly. You're just too ashamed to admit that. Commitment is like a fucking island in the South Pacific to you. It's unreachable."

"Did you forget the day I told you that I proposed to Jen? Or were you buried behind your camera like usual?"

Roger was going for the insults. Mark could easily play that game as well. "Well before you go and get married, then maybe you should give all the girls one last go at the great Roger Davis. Because god forbid, you stay committed to someone that had a child of yours, not referring to the others that you probably have fathered over the years."

Roger angrily slammed his hand down on the table. "Fuck you, Mark. He crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the metal trashcan. "There's no need to be jealous."

"Jealous? Of you?" Mark started clapping obnoxiously. "You've just done so many great things in your life Roger that I'm proud of. Excuse me while I kiss the ground you walk on and start taking notes."

"Go hide behind the camera again. I don't care what you do as long as you get out of my face."

"Whatever."

"Go check on your girlfriend downstairs and make sure she isn't sleeping with a random guy off that street like the slut she is," Roger shouted at him angrily. He was trying to hurt Mark to get some of the pain he was feeling out of his system. It appeared to be working, too.

Mark said nothing but just opened the loft door and quickly walked out, slamming it behind him.

Roger shook his head and groaned as he walked into his bedroom. He was trying to be as patient as possible with Jen, but with Mark constantly on his case, he felt like he was about to snap at any second. 

Jen looked up from her laptop when he walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hi."

"Hey." He stretched out on his back and looked over at her. "What are you doing?"

"Checking my inbox. Thinking," she replied.

"Yeah."

"I heard you and Mark arguing. About me?" She unplugged her laptop and set it on the nightstand. 

Roger shrugged. "No. Not really. He's just worried about Maureen and I'm being an asshole I guess. Like usual."

"Oh." She turned on her side to face up, stretching out next to him. "I don't think you're an asshole. You're just stubborn."

He laughed at this. "Yeah. That's true."

"How's Abby?"

"She's good. My mom and Joey took her back to Scarsdale this morning. She's sort of asking some questions, but I told her that I'd talk to her later about it. I just don't like lying to her, but I don't think she should know the truth of what happened."

Jen shrugged. "Okay."

"Can I ask you something?"

She nodded slowly. "Sure."

"Are you mad at me? Or do I make you uncomfortable?"

She shook her head, but Roger saw he try to blink back the tears that had formed. "No. I love you."

"I love you too, that's why I'm asking." He slipped his hand into hers. He ran his thumb over her hand. "I really need to get you a ring."

"I probably don't deserve one anyway, but do what you want to do."

Roger let go of her hand and propped his head up with his hand. "You deserve one. Why wouldn't you?"

"Because maybe we're doing this too fast. Maybe we shouldn't be getting married." A tear slid out of her eye, but she brushed it out of her eye. "Forget it."

"Why don't you want to get married?" He glanced at her. "I know you're uncomfortable around me, but I promise you that I won't ever push you to do anything until you're ready. I can wait," he reassured her. "If that's what you're worried about."

"I don't know."

"Okay." Roger sighed, frustrated. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't want to push the topic any farther. "You want to get out of here for a little while?"

Jen shrugged. "Not really."

"I've got a good place I could take you? Please?" 

"Fine." She slipped on her sneakers. "If I have to."

Roger grinned. "Okay. Let's go."

*                                *                              *                             *

"Do I at least get a hint or something?" 

Roger pointed. "Is that enough of a hint?" 

Jen glanced in the direction he was pointing towards and let go of his hand. "Roger—"

"I promise you'll have fun. And if you don't, you can give me the silent treatment for the rest of the week. Deal?"

She laughed a little. "Okay. But this is all your fault if I get hurt or fall down."

They walked towards the ice rink at Rockefeller Center and Roger reached for her hand again. This time Jen rested her head on his shoulder.

After Roger rented the skates, they sat down on a bench and laced them up tightly. Roger looked over at Jen and realized she was smiling a little bit as she finished tying the laces.

"What's so funny?" he asked her, grinning.

"This. You and me ice-skating. I can't ice skate," she laughed, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

"Well neither can I. And I can guarantee you that I'll be the only person making an ass out of himself on the ice, so no worries."

"Yeah, and I'm that ass's girlfriend. So either way, you're embarrassing not just yourself, but me too." Jen finished with her skates and stood up with Roger's help. "Let's go, ass."

"No name calling or I'll embarrass you purposely," he threatened. 

Jen pushed Roger onto the ice and watched him struggle to grab the wall. She snorted and tried to run away as he skated back around and lightly grabbed her around the waist, lifting her onto the ice.

"That's wasn't fair," he laughed as Jen linked her hand through his. They skated around the rink a few times, and then Roger started twirling around like a ballerina jokingly. "How do I look?"

Jen grabbed onto the wall to watch him. "Like a jerk!" she shouted out into the cold night air. 

"Yeah?" How about this one?" He did a little jump and almost lost his balance. "Oh, shit!"

"That's what you get!"

"Come on, we can be pairs skaters. Like the Olympics." He reached for her hand and started twirling her on the ice. He even lifted her up and tried to hold her in a graceful pose.

"Put me down!" Jen laughed. "People are staring at us!"

"Yeah? Probably because we're so good," he grinned. He turned a corner sharply and lost his balance. Roger wobbled and fell, Jen landing on top of him. They laid on the ice in one corner, just laughing as random people continued skating by. 

"You ass." Jen poked him in the side. 

"My ass is really cold," he laughed. He got to his feet and pulled Jen up next to him. A light snow had started to fall just then, which reminded Roger that the forecast had called for about three inches of snow that night into the next morning.

"That's what you get for trying to be the next Brian Boitano."

"You can laugh all you want, Nancy Kerrigan." 

She rested her head on his chest again and nodded. "It's getting cold out here."

Roger wrapped his arms around her. "Let me take you ring shopping sometime this week? Please? Just humor me for once?"

Jen nodded slowly. "I guess you leave me no choice." She looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah. That's fine. Just don't spend too much money on me."

"It's my money." 

"Roger."

He grinned and brushed the snowflakes out of her hair. "Okay. I'll try not to." He looked down into her blue eyes and tried to ignore the strong feeling of wanting to kiss her right that second. He didn't know what she wanted, or what she was comfortable with.

Jen bit her lip and caught him staring at him. "What?"

"I just uh—nothing." He broke the gaze and shook his head. "Never mind. We should probably be heading back."

"Yeah, you're right." Their lips were inches away from each other. "We better get back."

"Yeah."

"We're not going anywhere."

"No were not."

Jen sighed. "Fuck it." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. She couldn't isolate herself from him anymore. She missed him. She missed his arms around her; his kisses; everything about him. She wasn't going to be afraid because of Travis. Granted she wasn't ready to have sex with Roger right at this moment, but she wasn't going to hold off on kissing him. It would take her a long time to get comfortable with Roger in that way again, but she was willing to work towards it and not hold back. Not any longer.

*                         *                          *                     *

Review! =]

**NEXT UP**: Ring shopping, more drama with Travis, and Maureen contemplates ending her pregnancy—and her life. 


	26. Invisible

CHAPTER 26

A/N: I think it goes without almost saying now how much I love my reviewers. You guys are wonderful! And to my silent readers that don't review, I love you guys too, even though I'd wish you'd leave me some feedback. =]

Enjoy!

*                     *                *                 *

Mark kissed Maureen's forehead and brushed a stray curl out of her eyes. "I'm making coffee. Want me to get you some?"

Maureen's eyes fluttered open and she groaned. "No thanks. That's not how I want to start my morning right now." She turned over onto her side and faced away from him. 

Mark dropped his hand and climbed out of her bed. He quickly pulled on a gray tee shirt over his sweatpants and sighed. He was starting to worry about her. She never wanted to go out anywhere with him, but Mark quickly associated that with the general crappiness she was feeling because of her morning sickness. Her responses were often moody and sharp, and even their communication had slowed to a halt over the past week and a half. He blamed himself mostly. The truth of the matter was that he had been spending a lot of time upstairs with Roger and Jen. Mark was trying to be there for them both, especially because he knew how impatient Roger had been getting with Jen lately. He didn't mean to neglect Maureen, but he ended up not being able to balance his time with everyone because of the situation with Jen.

He walked into the kitchen and started the coffeemaker. He couldn't figure out what to do about the whole situation with Maureen. Granted it probably wasn't anything close to the right way they should have been restarting their relationship, but every time he tried to get closer to her, Maureen pushed him away, and every time she tried to get closer to him, he pushed her away. 

Mark rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses and started sorting through a stack of messy papers right near the coffeemaker. He didn't really see it as being nosy, considering he was supposed to be Maureen's boyfriend, but even if it was snooping, he needed something to preoccupy himself with. Scattered phone numbers and bills were gathered in the pile. A spare apartment key was lying beside everything else. He was almost done looking, but then, hidden at the bottom, was a very small medical slip that obnoxiously refused to realign itself with the rest of the papers. Mark pulled it out and glanced at it quickly.

Maureen Johnson 

_Scheduled for a surgical abortion on Tuesday, February 3rd at 10 AM._

Whoa. Mark was so taken aback he had to reread the small piece of paper to make sure that his eyes weren't lying to him. Maureen was having an abortion without telling him? That was so fucked up on so many levels that he couldn't even process the thought without getting angry. They were in a relationship—there was supposed to be trust! Two weeks ago she had been all for having this baby without a doubt in her mind. What could have possibly driven her to want to abort the baby? Especially without telling him?

He clutched the piece of paper tightly in his hand and stormed into Maureen's bedroom. She had immediately fallen back to sleep after he had woken her up, and for a split second he regretted what he was about to do. But not as much as he thought he would regret letting Maureen getting away with this.

"Maureen." Mark was trying to keep his voice low, but inside, his head was screaming at her. 

Maureen turned over onto her back and sat up slowly. "What's wrong?" She blinked at him. "Marky?"

He thrust the paper at her. "What the fuck is that?" he shouted. 

"What is what?" The paper had landed in Maureen's lap and she picked it up to glance at it. Her face fell automatically and she buried her face in her hands. "You weren't supposed to see that. I wasn't even going to go through with it—"

"Bullshit!"

Maureen draped her legs over the bed and shakily stood up. "Please Mark—"

"Please what? You were going to lie to me, weren't you?" When she didn't answer right away, he repeated his question more loudly. "Weren't you?"

"I wasn't," she tried to convince him. "I wasn't going to really do it."

"God Maureen, you are such a fucking liar. No, let's tell Mark that you just made the appointment, but weren't actually going to do it! Then why did you make the appointment in the first place?" he yelled at her.

"I can't support this baby!" she screamed at him. "I don't have the money, or the time, or the motherly instinct right now! I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you! I'm so sorry!"  
  


"The thing is, you're not sorry. You're never sorry! You think you can do what you want, with who you want to, no matter what the consequences may be. Do you think that's fair Maureen? Is it?" He watched her walk by, pretending to ignore him and that angered him even more. Mark reached out for her wrist and prevented her from going any further.

Maureen glanced at him and felt the sharp pang radiate from her wrist and up her arm. "God, what else do you want me to tell you? I guess I just don't want this baby after all! I know I'm a terrible person. Believe me, you don't have to rub it in anymore. Roger already has."

Mark dropped her wrist and shook his head. "Well then I guess you don't want to be with me, either."

She shrugged and wiped at her eyes. The tears had already started to fall and were sliding down her cheeks. "If we had never slept together—you—we wouldn't have even bothered trying to start over again. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, we wouldn't have tried anything. You would have still just be a friend, and I probably would have a long distance relationship with Joanne," she sobbed quietly. "And don't you see? I hate being this way. I hate feeling the way I do. Like I have no way out. Who wants their mother to be fucked up?"

"See that's your problem! You're so goddamn dramatic. You're stuck in this little world where you can just twist everything around your perfectly manicured finger. You know when and how to push the buttons to get what **you **want. It's always about you. You you you. You don't want this baby so you'll get rid of it. Well that about what I want? Because it's just as much mine as it is yours. You don't want to be in a relationship, you cheat on them. It's always about you, and I'm tired of it. I thought this time around, things would be different, but I guess I was wrong. You haven't changed at all, and I made a fool of myself for thinking you were different! That you really were the person I had fallen in love with in the beginning. But I guess I'm the one that has to pay the price again, just like last time. Now that I think about it, maybe Roger was right. I probably should have stayed away from you. He knew you were going to do this again—to hurt me—but just like the last time, I didn't listen. Look where we ended up again," Mark yelled at her.

Maureen just sat there at the kitchen counter, crying as she listened to him ramble on and on about how much of a failure she was. She couldn't do this anymore. She was so tired of people pointing out her faults. "I'm sorry Mark."

Mark grabbed his coat off the chair and put it on sullenly. "Sorry doesn't cut it this time." He picked up the appointment card and tossed it carelessly at her. "Do what you'd like. As far as I'm concerned, you and that baby don't exist anymore. You're _nothing_ to me."

She covered her mouth and tried to choke back the sobs that were forcing their way out of her mouth. "Don't say that. Please."

"What else am I supposed to say? I'm not a liar like you." He walked towards the door. "I don't betray the people I care about." He slammed the door.

Maureen blinked at it and got up off the chair to pick up the card that had floated to the floor. She couldn't hold the sobs back anymore and she crumpled to the floor, rocking back and forth against the wall. "I'm sorry Mark. I'm sorry," she sobbed, burying her face into her knees. "I'm sorry.''

*                                 *                             *                            *

Roger looked over from the couch where he was sitting. Jen had just come out of the bathroom and was toweling her hair dry. 

"You think you could take any longer of a shower?"

Jen flipped her head back up and shrugged. "Sorry." 

"Hey, I was just joking around. Jen—" She had passed the couch and walked into their bedroom. Roger groaned and followed her. 

"I know." Jen had flattened out on the bed and pulled the comforter over herself. "I know you want to get things between us back to normal. And believe me, I'd sort of like that too. But right now, I'm not comfortable with myself or my body—"

"So you're not comfortable with me?" Roger slid under the covers next to her and draped his arm over her stomach.

"No, I am. But, not in that way yet," she tried to explain. "It's just stupid and complicated.

"Well it's not gonna get any easier. I mean, you know I would never hurt you like that, right?"

Jen eyed him curiously. She couldn't tell if Roger was trying to be nice, or just trying to get her to sleep with him right now. "You sound like you're trying to talk me into something."

"I'm not—"

"You're full of shit. You are too. I know you too well."

Roger gave up and ran his hands through his hair. "Okay fine. I just want you to be comfortable with me, and obviously you don't want that. And I'm not trying to push you into anything you don't want to do. I wouldn't do that."

"Maybe we should just do it and get it over with."

"Compared to us actually wanting to when you're ready?" 

"God, you have no idea how frustrated I am with myself. One day I want to, and the next day I'm afraid to. Not afraid of you, but just worried in general. Like something's going to happen, I'm going to back out just when we're about to, and that's going to be uncomfortable and embarrassing for the both of us."

Roger grinned and Jen buried her face in his shirt. "More embarrassing for me because of certain body parts."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his chest. "You smell good."

"I try I guess." He kissed her lightly. He shifted over slightly to try to get comfortable.

"Ow!" Jen shouted at him. "Ow ow ow don't move!"

"What? What's wrong?" Roger flipped over onto his side to try and figure out what was wrong.

"Roger goddammit stop moving!" Jen pulled the covers off and lifted her tee shirt up. It was then that Roger realized why she was yelling at him. A string from his shirt had caught itself around the bar of her bellybutton ring and when he moved, it had gotten completely entangled and was pulling the bar roughly out.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry." Roger reached his hand over and tried to yank the string from the outside of the bar.

"Ow!" Jen yelped in pain. Her eyes started to water up. "Do you think you can take the ring out without taking my stomach with it?" 

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly. "Hold on." Roger quickly unscrewed and slid the bar out and managed to unwrap the string. "I'll be right back."

Jen held her hand over the red area where the bellybutton ring had been. Ugh, she regretted getting that damn thing pierced now because it definitely was hurting worse than when she had first gotten it done four years before. 

Roger returned with the bar, rubbing alcohol, and a handful of cotton balls. "Sit up some."

Jen sat up and instead of holding the edge of her shirt up, she took it off completely and discarded it to the side. "That okay?"

He nodded. "Uh yeah, that's fine." He hadn't expected her to take her shirt off all the way, and he was definitely finding it distracting. She was just sitting there in a black bra and a pair of his sweatpants that were too big for her small frame. Roger tried to keep his mind off of how much she was turning him on right then and poured some of the alcohol on the cotton balls instead. He ran them lightly over her stomach and saw her jump. "Cold?"

"Yeah. It stings a little."

"Sorry." Roger reached over her to toss the cotton ball into the trashcan but lightly collided with Jen's hand instead. The spark between them was still very much there. 

Jen's breath caught in her throat. She noticed that they had found themselves in a very compromising position. _God, she hated Travis for doing this to her. For making her afraid_. "Roger—we, I—um." She tried to get the right words out but couldn't manage them. 

Roger ran his fingers lightly over her cheek. " I know." He placed the cap back on the alcohol and set the bottle on the floor. "I miss you though."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He leaned in and kissed her, running his fingers through her damp hair. Jen wrapped her arms around his neck and Roger slowly lowered her down on the bed, exploring each other's mouth and bodies. Jen ran her fingers through his hair as he planted kissed down her neck and on shoulders. "You're okay?"

"Yeah. Keep going," she whispered in his ear. They continued their heavy make out session for the following ten minutes. But when Roger's hand started fumbling for the clasp on her bra, she froze. She stopped kissing him and pulled away. 

Roger looked down at her, concerned. "What's wrong?" he asked, breathing heavily. She wouldn't answer him right away. "Jen?"

Jen reached for her shirt and pulled it on. "Nothing." She tried to get off the bed, but Roger lightly reached out for her arm.

He saw that once again, tears had formed in her eyes. They were starting to become very familiar to him over the past week. "Baby?"

"I said nothing." Even to herself, she didn't sound very convincing.

"Jen please. If you don't want to go that far just yet then just tell me. I'm okay with it."

She crawled back on the bed and rested her head against his chest. "It's not that. When we were—you were so comfortable. You knew what you were doing. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, to think, to feel. I was comfortable, but I wasn't. I can't shake it, and I really want to be able to."

Roger pulled her close and started playing with her. "Only when you're ready babe. And when you are, I'll make it really special for you, I promise."

*                      *                     *                     *

"So like I was saying, the court cases are going wonderfully. Seattle's weather is shitty, but when it's not raining, it's gorgeous. I went down to the beach the other day and—Maureen, are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"

Maureen looked up from the salad she was pushing around her plate and sighed. "Yes."

"No you weren't." Joanne set down the glass of wine she was sipping on the table. "I don't know what's with you lately. You won't ship those boxes to my condo, you won't return my phone calls, and you don't talk when we get together for lunch. Honey, is everything okay?"

"It's fine. Really great. I swear." Maureen plastered a fake smile on her face. "I just—I'm a little late for something. I'm really sorry Jo. The next time you're in town I'll have to make it up to you. I promise." She stood up and pulled on her coat. She started to pull some money out of her wallet but Joanne held her hand up.

"Don't worry about it. I've got it covered. Oh, and I just did want to let you know that I might be back in town sooner than you may think. For good."

"What?"

"There's another district attorney job opening uptown right here in the city. I'm considering moving back here and taking the job so I can be closer to my parents and family. What do you think?"

"Well, I think that's good Joanne." Maureen wanted to make as quick of a break as she could. "Keep in touch, okay? This time I promise I'll answer my phone."

Joanne stood up and gave Maureen a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Take care of yourself. I'll give you a call sometime next week."

"Sounds good."

Maureen quickly added in a rushed goodbye before heading for the subway. Twenty minutes later, she had arrived home. Not bothering to lock the door behind her, she shedded her coat and walked into the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She had lost so much weight from morning sickness, and dark circles were starting to form around her eyes. 

She opened the medicine cabinet and searched for her prenatal vitamins, but couldn't find them right away. Yawning instead, Maureen reached for the bottle of Tylenol PM that had seemed to be the only way to get herself to sleep at night. Granted it was only one o'clock in the afternoon, but she could use a little nap. 

Maureen snapped off the lid and poured the remaining eight capsules into her hand. It wasn't a full bottle, but it would get the job done—hopefully cleanly and effortlessly. She was too chicken to pull an April; couldn't even tolerate the small seconds of pain caused by a razor blade. She lined the pills up on the kitchen counter and left them momentarily to fill a glass with water. She came back and walked into the bathroom. One by one she swallowed each bitter pill and they slid down her throat smoothly. 

When she was finished, she thought she would have at least made it to the couch before they took effect. Maureen made it halfway, ten minutes after she had downed them, before collapsing in the middle of the living room.

*                        *                     *                       *

Roger and Jen were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, when Mark stormed in later that day around one thirty. The door slammed violently after him, and Jen jumped on the couch.

"Christ, that's the only door we have. Don't break it. That's my job," Roger joked. He was sitting at one end of the couch, and Jen was curled up next to him, her head resting on his knee.

"Yeah. Great," Mark mumbled. He brushed past them and into the kitchen.

Jen sat up and looked at Roger before getting up to follow him. "Mark? What's wrong?"

Mark had poured himself a glass of water and slammed it down angrily on the counter. "Nothing's really wrong. Besides the fact that Maureen is having an abortion and wasn't going to even tell me about it."

"What?" Jen said, exasperated. "Why would she want to do that?"

"I don't know! Ask her! I can't even begin to think of what goes on in her head anymore!" Mark shouted out.

Roger had come up behind them both. "That bitch. What did I tell you Mark? I told you she would do something like this. She has no concern for anyone else's feelings—"

"Roger, stop. It's not helping," Jen scolded him. "Mark, why don't you just try and go back downstairs and talk to her? Or if you'd like, I'll go down there and talk to her for you. I'm sure she was just having a bad day—"

"She had the appointment scheduled on a card. I saw it and everything."

"Oh shit," Roger breathed quietly. "Mark, man I'm really—"

"Sorry?" Mark cocked his head to the side to stare at him. "Yeah, so am I. Because I was so stupid to give her a second chance. I'm starting to regret it."

Jen dropped her hands to her sides. "Mark, I know how you are. Did you even hear her out? Maybe she was just confused. You didn't just yell at her, did you?"

"Of course I yelled at her. She deserved it. That's not just her kid, you know! It's mine too," he protested. "She's just so, god! I can't handle her anymore."

"Look, I love you both, I really do. But I think I'm going to go downstairs and check on her. I'll talk to her for you Mark. Just promise me after I do you'll try to rationally talk things over with her?" When Mark didn't look too convinced, Jen resorted to begging. "Please?"

"I suppose."

"Alright." 

Jen slipped out of the loft door as Mark and Roger continued the conversation. She heard the various obscenities and jabs at Maureen that Roger and Mark were both making towards her, and she instantly felt sympathy towards her. She wasn't trying to take one side over the other, but she knew that Roger had been less than receptive towards Maureen lately, and Mark had spent more nights upstairs in the loft then downstairs with his own girlfriend in the past two weeks. Jen was almost positive that Maureen missed him. When she reached the first floor apartment, she knocked lightly.

"Maureen? Sweetie it's Jen." No answer. She tried pounding a little bit harder. "Mo?" Jen reached for the handle and found that it was surprisingly unlocked. Pushing it open, she tried calling out her name once again. "Maureen? Anyone home?"

Jen tucked part of her brown hair behind her ear and walked down the hallway. The lights were on in the apartment, but there didn't seem to be anyone home. She looked back and felt the cold late January breeze blow through the open door and shivered slightly. Jen let out a loud, uncontrollable scream when she rounded the corner and entered the living room.

"Maureen! Oh god!" Jen crouched over her to check if she was breathing or not. She wasn't. "Oh my god!" She reached for her wrist and felt for a pulse. Very faint and weak. Jen got up and ran towards the door. "Mark! Roger!" she shouted, hoping they would hear her. She spun around and found herself face to face with Collins and Logan. They had just climbed the stairs and were heading for the second floor when they had run down the hall. 

Collins grabbed her arms and tried to get her to stop shaking. "What? What's wrong?" He looked over her shoulder and into Maureen's apartment. "Oh God. No." He brushed past Jen and ran into the apartment. "Call 911! Now!" he hollered over his shoulder.

Logan pulled out his cell phone and dialed quickly. Jen's head was spinning. She heard the erratic phone conversation with the operator. Then Roger and Mark's heavy footsteps running down the rickety metal stairs. She didn't know how it was possible for them both to hear her, but what suddenly thankful. Looking back towards Maureen's apartment, she started crying as she saw Collins trying to give Maureen CPR. Then Roger's strong arms were wrapped around her and pressing her head into his chest, rocking her back and forth. 

_It was indefinite slow motion._

*                           *                       *                        *

"Twenty four year old female, eight weeks pregnant, suspected overdose on sleeping pills…" 

They all sat in a tight, huddled group, awaiting news on Maureen's fate. She had been brought in twenty-five minutes ago, and since then, only doctors, nurses, and specialists had flown in and out of the room with little acknowledgment to any of them.

Jen was now tightly grasping Mark's hand, afraid that if she let it go, he would do something incredibly stupid. His head was resting against her shoulder and she was running her fingers through it as he sat there, completely numb and void of words. 

Roger had left the waiting area as soon as they had all arrived. He claimed he couldn't bear to see them work on Maureen the way they had tried to work on April. _April_. There it was, that name again. Jen still knew nothing about her. Except that she, and _Mimi_, had died. Collins hadn't pushed Roger to stay, and in fact went out to smoke with him shortly after. Logan had gone for a walk around the hospital—understandable, considering he barely knew anyone besides Collins.

"It's my fault. If I hadn't yelled at her—"

Jen shook her head. "Mark don't. It won't help."

"Okay."

An expressionless doctor appeared in front of them at that moment. "Mr. Cohen? Ms. Walsh?"

They both nodded and stood up shakily. Jen still held onto Mark's hand loosely.

The doctor let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry to inform you of this, but we did everything we could…"

*                       *                            *                        *

Cliffhanger or what? Review please, or I just might not be motivated to update as soon as I can. =]

NEXT UP: The doctor informs everyone of Maureen's fate; Abby returns from Scarsdale.


	27. As You Sleep

CHAPTER 27

A/N: Wow! Thanks for the great reviews guys! I just wanted to point something out:

A review I received told me that it's impossible for someone to overdose on Tylenol. Actually, that's far from the truth. You can in fact overdose on Tylenol, and if you do you're supposed to seek immediate medical attention. Many people use Tylenol and Advil to overdose. This is what happened to Maureen. Before I write things into my story that have any sort of medical background, I make sure that I check the facts to avoid any kind of errors. 

You'll also find out in this and the next chapter that Maureen had taken something else besides Tylenol earlier in the day.

Other than that, enjoy this chapter guys!

*                         *                     *                    *

"I'm sorry to inform you of this, but we did everything we could…" 

_Mark dropped Jen's hand and studied the male doctor. "You mean—what? No! Is she?" He couldn't bring himself to say the words. Maureen was dead? What the hell had she taken in the first place?_

_The doctor sighed and shook his head. "No. We managed to get her stabilized and her heart rate steady. She's breathing on her own right now, although she hasn't woken up yet."_

_Mark nodded, relief flooding over his senses. "Then the baby—it's okay, right? The doctor didn't answer right away. "Right?"_

_"I'm sorry sir. We tried everything possible to prevent her from miscarrying, but nothing could be done. With her fall down the stairs in the beginning of the month, it was inevitable. I'm sorry."_

_Mark shook his head. "You can't do anything."_

_"I'm sorry sir. She miscarried shortly after she stabilized."_

Jen sat up in Roger's bed and clutched her chest, breathing heavily. She pulled the sheets off her body and realized she was drenched in a cold, clammy sweat. It hadn't even been a full twelve hours and already she was having nightmares about what had happened to Maureen that previous afternoon. If the dream sequence kept playing over and over in her head, she couldn't imagine was Maureen and Mark were going through.

After the full labs came back earlier that evening, the doctors had concluded that Maureen had overdosed on a mixture of Tylenol, Vicodin, and some sort of prescription sleeping pills. Mark had been the only one who knew Maureen was taking the Tylenol to sleep better, but it was the Vicodin and sleeping pills baffled them all. Where had she gotten them from? No one knew the answer to that.

Jen pulled her hair out of the holder and shook it out as she walked into the living room. She walked down the hall and opened the door to Abby's room. Quietly, she entered the room and adjusted the blankets around the sleeping toddler. She and Roger had driven up to Scarsdale shortly after they had left the hospital to bring Abby back to the city from Roger's mother's house. Abby had fallen asleep early that night, around eight, and right after she had, Roger had taken the subway back to the hospital to be with Mark. 

Jen glanced at the little clock positioned on Abby's nightstand and realized that it was already after 2 AM. She hoped that Roger came home soon, because she was starting to get a little worried that he hadn't called. 

"Mom?" Abby had turned over and opened her eyes, still half asleep. "Where's Rog?"

"He'll be home soon. Go back to sleep for me, okay?" 

Abby sat up and gave Jen a quick hug and kiss before turning back over. She closed her eyes and almost immediately fell back asleep. Jen stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the door open a little back. She heard Collins' and Logan's light snores from Mark's bedroom and knew they were no longer up either. After Roger had left for the hospital around nine, he had insisted that Collins and Logan stay with Jen so she wouldn't be alone in the apartment. Jen knew and admitted to him that she could take care of herself, but he wouldn't listen to her and still had the two of them come over.

So now Jen was left with nothing to do and no one to talk to. She was wide-awake and bored, which was never a good combination. This night reminded her of the many she would spend sitting up waiting with Mark for Roger to come home, and when he did, he'd often smell like beer, cheap perfume, and pot. Or he'd be completely drunk and high. As she sat down on the couch, Jen was instantly glad that those days were no longer.

She noticed that she had been sitting on that same couch, staring off into space ten minutes later when a key scraped in the lock of the loft door. The door creaked open and Roger walked in, carrying a brown deli bag.

"Hey. How are you? How's Abby?" He took off his leather jacket and immediately sat down on the couch next to her, placing the bag on the coffee table. 

"I'm okay. Abby's asleep."

He nodded and pulled off his boots. "Why are you still up?"

"I couldn't sleep," she said honestly. "I just got up about ten minutes ago."

Roger looked at her worriedly and ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd be this late."

"Neither did I."

He looked over his shoulder at Mark's closed bedroom door. "Collins and Logan fell asleep?"

"Yeah. I don't know when. I was already asleep."

"So are they together then?"

Jen shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I didn't ask. What's in the brown bag?"

Roger opened it and handed her part of the sub sandwich. "I was starving so I got something to eat on the way home. I figured you were probably hungry too."

Good. A small part of her expected it to be a bag of heroin or something—else. "Thanks." She broke a little piece of the sandwich off and started eating it. "So, how's Maureen doing?"

"She still hasn't woken up yet or anything. The doctors said that maybe tomorrow morning at the earliest."

"How does she look?"

Roger shrugged. "Pretty bad. Whatever she took, she did a good job."

"Yeah." Jen placed the sandwich back on the table. "How's Mark?"

"He's fucked up Jen. I'm really worried about him. I tried to get him to come back here with me but he told me politely to fuck off and that he's staying the night there with her."

"So he's still feeling guilty?"

"Yeah."

She sighed and rested her head against the back of the couch. "I can't believe this all happened. If I never was there that night with Travis, Mark would have never ignored her and she never would have tried to kill herself. It's partially my fault."

"You never told me what happened that night. What Travis did to you--" he said slowly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jen looked at him and shook her head. "Not really."

"Are you planning on telling me at all?" Roger was already irritated by the sleep he desperately needed to catch up on, so the words flew out of his mouth with anger.

She stood up and walked into the kitchen, her bare feet stepping gracefully across the freezing tiled floor. "It's not just something I can fucking tell you and forget about."

Roger followed her and tossed the sandwiches and the bag into the garbage can. "I know. I just want to be able to help you, but I can't. You won't let me in."

Jen glanced at him sadly and walked towards him. "I'm sorry. Telling it to you would be like reliving it for me. Do you know how many times it's played through my head since it happened?"

"No." Roger wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "I miss you."

"You mean you miss having sex with me."

Roger dropped his arms and walked away from her. "Whatever."

"Yeah." She grabbed a towel out of the closet and walked into the bathroom. 

"Why do you always turn everything around on me? Like I'm some kind of guy that's looking for a quick fuck all the time?"

Jen turned around in the bathroom door and stared at him. "You want to know why? Because I'm afraid that if I don't have sex with you sooner or later you're going to leave me for someone else. Someone better, someone smarter, someone prettier. Someone who could give you what you want. Then you'd come home to me and Abby and pretend everything was still okay." She turned her back on him and closed the door.

Roger heard her turn on the shower and mentally kicked himself in the ass. Good job, shithead. He already pissed Mark off. Now he pissed his girlfriend off. Who was next? 

He waited a few minutes before getting up off the couch and going into the bathroom. It was pretty steamy in there already, but he could make out the sound of Jen crying over the running water. 

"Jen."

"Don't you take a hint that maybe I don't exactly want to talk to you right now?" She rinsed out the shampoo in her hair and wiped at her eyes.

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"Yeah." She reached down and turned off the faucets before wringing her hair out. "Can you hand me my towel?"

Roger picked up her towel off of the sink and tossed it over the shower door, grinning to himself. "There."

"Ass."

"I love you." When she didn't answer right away, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry for being an inconsiderate jerk. Like I said before, I'm not about to push you into anything you're not ready for. I can wait for you. I told you this. And I would never leave you for someone else. I swear Jen. You have to believe me. I know what happened in the past, but I would never make the same mistakes twice. I'm sorry."

Jen stepped out of the shower, white towel wrapped around her body. "I'm being such a bitch to you lately."

Roger rested his hands on her shoulders as she brushed out her hair over the sink. "You're not. If anything I'm being a dick about the whole situation."

"So…do you want to try tomorrow? In the morning? When we get up?"

"Try what?"

She sighed and raised her eyebrows at him. "What do you think?"

"Oh." He laughed and hugged her gently around her waist. "Okay. If you're sure."

"You have what you need, right?"

"Yeah. The box is still sitting in my drawer." 

Jen nodded and pulled her hair back. "Take a shower. You smell like the hospital."

"Okay. I'll meet you in the room in a few minutes."

She quickly walked into their bedroom and threw on a pair of his boxers and a long sleeved tee shirt of his. Within five minutes, Roger walked back into the room in a towel. He quickly changed and joined her underneath the sheets. 

"Mmm you smell good." He inhaled the scent of the shampoo in her damp hair, pulling Jen on top of him. 

"I'm so tired." She rested her head on his chest. "You're warm."

Roger kissed her and turned onto his side, gently sliding her off of him so he could wrap his arm around her stomach. "You're cold, so maybe I should warm you up?"

"Maybe," she smiled. Jen planted a few kisses along his jaw line and then finally on his mouth. "Night. Love you."

"Stop teasing," he laughed. "I love you too."

*                              *                        *                       *

Maureen opened her eyes slowly and moved her head to the side on the overstuffed pillow. She saw the monitors and heard the machines humming softly in the background. The lights in her hospital room had been dimmed to a comfortable setting, allowing her eyes to adjust almost immediately—wait, hospital room? She was a little confused at first, but then the reality of why she was here in the first place set in. Right Maureen, because you smartly overdosed on Tylenol, on an empty stomach, after taking two other types of pills earlier in the day. Perfect move. She winced slightly, lifting her hand slowly off the bed. Her head started pounding automatically, and dull waves of pain were settling in her stomach. 

Maureen tilted her head to the other side and noticed Mark asleep in a chair, right next to her bed. She closed her eyes again briefly, regretting what she had done to him and to everyone. They all had to know by now. She wished she could take it all back, but she couldn't. She hadn't really wanted to die, did she? She just wanted the pain and the feeling of being alone all the time to go away. The last thing she remembered was wanting to sleep, and now she had ended up here?

She watched Mark stir in the chair and sighed awkwardly. What the hell was she supposed to say to him? But wait a minute, hadn't Mark told her that he never wanted anything to do with her or the baby again? Yes, he had. Then why was he here? Angrily, she watched the shocked expression form over his face. He moved the hospital chair closer to her bed.

"Hi."

She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. She literally couldn't get the words out. They must have done something to prevent her from talking. "Marky," she managed to force out, raspily. God, she even sounded like hell. Maureen didn't even want to know what she looked like. 

Mark didn't know what to say as he looked at her. She looked very tired and pale, but he was thankful that she was awake and talking to him again. "How do you feel?"

Maureen wasn't sure how to answer that question. She was feeling far from okay. "Sore. Not so good. Like I need a shower. Thirsty too."

"Okay." Mark smiled. He poured some water into a cup and handed it to her. "Um, the nurse left this here for when you woke up."

"Thanks." Maureen tried to prop herself up in the bed without letting the IV line get in the way of her drinking from the cup. The pain in her stomach was starting to sharpen and she rubbed her hand over it. No luck. If anything, it was now spreading to her lower back as well.

Mark noticed this, but said nothing. "So."

"I lost the baby, didn't I?"

"What do you think?"

Maureen glared at him as she tried to get comfortable once again. "Excuse me?"

"You did."

She nodded and felt her eyes well up with tears. She tried to sniff them back and saw Mark roll his eyes. "Stop it, Mark. Grow up. You're twenty-six fucking years old. Act like it."

"Me? Act like it? Can I ask you why you're even crying right now? You didn't want the baby. Don't cry over it and pretend like you gave a shit. You know you didn't. Stop overreacting."

"You're an asshole."

"Good."

Maureen closed her eyes and turned her back to him. She didn't need this right now. She wished Mark would just go away and leave her alone, by herself. If he was trying to make her feel worse about herself, it was working. "Can you please leave then?" A few silent minutes passed, and when she didn't hear his footsteps leaving the room, she repeated herself. "Mark. Leave the room now. Please." She didn't want to, but she started crying after she said that to him. Also because she was in a lot of pain.

Mark watched her lying in that bed, shoulders shaking. She was crying because of _him_. At that moment he felt incredibly guilty. He had said so many terrible things to her. Even know, he was still putting her down and being a real asshole towards her. What was wrong with him lately? He and Maureen were supposed to be starting over, and he wasn't being the greatest boyfriend, friend, whatever they were now. Instead of leaving, he walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down. Close enough for him to talk to her, but far enough in case she tried to hit him. Considering it was Maureen, he wouldn't put it past her. 

"I'm—I don't know what to say, or how I should say it. I'm sorry."

Maureen looked at him for what seemed like a long minute, but then nodded at him. "I'm sorry too."

"Yeah." Mark looked down at the hospital blanket, where her hand was resting. "I shouldn't have said what I did to you yesterday. I lost my temper I guess, but Christ Maureen, when I saw that piece of paper I didn't know what to do. Where you honestly going to go through with it without telling me?"

She shrugged weakly. "I'm not sure. Probably not."

Mark shook his head. "Probably," he said angrily. "Why did you take all those pills? And where the hell did you get the Vicodin?"

"Don't worry about it," she said coldly. "You're so concerned with yourself anyway." Maureen glanced at him again and realized that his facial expressions had changed. "Are you crying?"

"No," he tried to avoid her eyes. "I'm just gonna leave."

"Marky…" 

"Mark what? Do you know how scary that was Maureen? To see you fucking fighting for your life in there last night? Do you? Do you want to know how much Jen freaked out after she found you? Or how Roger sat outside the hospital smoking all night because he couldn't watch them try to save you like they tried to save April? Don't you get it? We all care about you! Even Roger! You almost died in there!"

"I'm sorry Mark," she cried. "I didn't think—I felt so alone. I'm sorry."

He sat back down on the bed and slid his hand through hers. "You're everything to me. You know that right?" He laid next to Maureen and she pressed her head into his chest.  

"You mean that?" she wiped at her eyes and looked up at him. "But—"

"Let's not talk about that right now, okay? We'll talk about it later."

Maureen nodded. "Okay."

*                             *                      *                       *

Review! They make my day. =]


	28. Don't You Cry Tonight

CHAPTER 28

*                    *                   *                  *

Collins flipped through the magazine and pointed something out in it before handing it to Jen. "What about that one?"

Jen rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "It looks too heavy."

"You're right." Collins cocked his head to the side and took another look at the dress. "Especially on the bottom."

"Ugh. Who thought that looking for wedding dresses could be so frustrating?" Jen moaned. She closed the bridal magazine and tossed it on the coffee table. "Why do I need a dress anyway? I could get married in sweatpants and a tank top and still be happy."

"Honestly?" Collins laughed. "Do it at city hall. In your sweatpants and your tank top. Whatever makes you happy."

"But, I do sort of want the wedding…"

Collins laughed and kissed her forehead. "Ah, I had a feeling. Have you and Roger even set a date yet?"

"Nope. I don't even have a ring. Not that I need a ring. Okay, that sounded really selfish." She pulled her hair up into a messy twist and sighed. "I'm so tired."

"Oh, poor baby."

"Mmhmm. I think Roger's mad at me."

Collins pulled away and looked down at Jen. "Why do you say that?"

Jen stood up and fixed the pillows that were disorganized across the couch. "It's nothing really important. I guess I'm just getting a weird vibe from him lately. He's been working a lot and getting home pretty early in the morning, and then he just sleeps. I just think he's hiding something from me."

He smiled sympathetically at her. "Roger's a tough person to crack, let alone to get along with. Although right now I'm pretty sure whatever he's keeping inside has nothing to do with you. Him and Mark have been having some pretty deep conversations lately. I know he's been preoccupied with that."

Jen nodded. "Yeah. You're right. I'm just paranoid."

"I wouldn't say that. You're just playing the part of the concerned girlfriend, which you're entitled to." Collins glanced at the clock on the wall. "Well, I have a class in an hour, so I better get on the subway and get a few things set up. I'll see you later." He kissed her lightly on the cheek and gave her a reassuring hug. "Love you."

"Love you too Collins. Thanks for listening."

"Anytime." Collins disappeared from the apartment, and Abby walked out of her bedroom.

"Hi Mom." The toddler rubbed at her eyes sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Dishes, baby. Did you have a good nap?" Jen ran her fingers through her daughter's blonde hair and smiled.

"Yup. Is Roger still sleeping?"

"Yeah," Jen sighed. "He had to work late last night."

"Okay." Abby handed her the dishtowel and let out a giggle. "I'm gonna go color now."

"Sure. Just don't wake up Roger, okay?"

"Uh huh." Abby walked back into her room and Jen could see her getting out everything she needed to color. She turned back to putting away the dishes and heard the loft door reopen. 

"Anyone home?" Mark's voice floated into the kitchen from the doorway.

Shit. Jen dropped the dishtowel in the sink and rushed out of the kitchen. She had forgotten that Maureen was being released from the hospital today after spending four tedious days there. Mark must have called and told her countless times, but with taking Abby back and forth to daycare and her tumbling class, plus with Roger's mood swings, she had been a little preoccupied. But she did remember that Mark told her to act normal and not bring the subject up unless Maureen did. She could do that, at least.

"Hey," she greeted Mark and Maureen brightly.

"Hi," Maureen smiled. She took off her coat and Mark immediately hung it up on the hook with his own.

"I bet you're glad to be back home. How are you feeling?" Shit. Jen realized that she had brought it up, sort of.

"Pretty good. Tired and a little sore still, but I'm okay." Maureen sat down on the couch gingerly and tucked her feet underneath her.

"Yeah. The doctors gave her a good report. Everything's in the clear," Mark added. He walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. "Roger still asleep?"

"Yeah."

"What a lazy ass," Maureen commented. She was smiling, and Jen was definitely glad to see that. It didn't take her long to notice how much weight Maureen had seemed to have lost. She knew that with the morning sickness, she could barely hold anything down, but now her collarbones and cheekbones were much more prominent. Her legs and arms seemed thinner, along with her stomach, which had flattened even more so than before. Jen was a little worried at this, but made no comment. If anything, she would bring it up with Mark later, but right now she was glad to have Maureen home.

"Are you hungry?" Mark asked Maureen. 

"Yeah."

"What do you want?"

"Maybe just some soup." Maureen stood up and walked into the kitchen after him. Jen decided that this would probably be a good idea to give them some alone time, so she checked on Abby quickly before heading into Roger's room. She was coloring peacefully in the middle of her floor, so Jen knew she would be preoccupied for a while.

Roger was lying on his stomach on the bed, his one arm propped under his head and the other hanging off the edge. His chest was rising and falling steadily, and he was snoring lightly. She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't even stir, which meant he was exhausted. 

Jen looked over at the messy closet and figured that she probably should start organizing it, since she didn't really have much else to do. Roger's clothes mostly were scattered lazily throughout the bottom, so she made her way over and started pulling everything out. She stacked them in separate piles—shirts, pants, and shoes. She knew she'd have to take a trip to the Laundromat, but didn't particularly care. His mess had been sitting there for way too long.

She had gotten most of these things out and shoved aside when she realized there were some very feminine items stuck in a few corners and on the top shelf of the closet. Leather and lace jeans, a mesh tank top, black tights, a pair of blue plastic pants and a black sheer bra were a few things Jen ended up finding. It made her a little uncomfortable, but she automatically figured everything belonged to one of Roger's ex girlfriends. She just hoped that the person hadn't been a dominatrix, but from the get up, it was hard to think otherwise. She piled that aside as well and figured that he could deal with it later. The clothes were way too small for her to wear anyway. Whoever had worn these clothes had to have been very short and tiny.

Ten minutes later, the bottom of the closet had been cleared out, and Roger was still snoring. Jen reached up on the neater top shelf and pulled out a few boxes. She sat down on the edge of the bed and opened the lid of the first box. Pictures. She figured she'd save that for a day when she was really bored. The second box was empty, but the third caught her eye. The inscription on the box lid was sad and a little cryptic:

Juliet the dice was loaded from the start 

_And I bet that you exploded into my heart_

_And I forget, I forget the movie song_

_When you going to realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?_

What the hell? It was written in Roger's handwriting, and it was a little bit faded. She took off the lid completely and flipped it over onto the other side, where the inscription continued:

When you can fall for chains of silver You can fall for chains of gold 

_You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold_

_You promised me everything_

_You promised me thick and thin, yeah_

_Now you say, oh Romeo, yeah, I used to have a scene with him_

At the very bottom of the lid, the words stopped:

_And I dreamed your dream for you, April_. _I loved you. January 1993 to May fifth, 1995. RD and AS. Kissing you goodbye._

Jen looked down into the box and pushed the white tissue paper aside. She didn't understand what was going on. She took off the final sheet of paper and her stomach turned upside down. Inside the box was a set of Polaroid pictures: Roger and a nameless female with strawberry blonde wavy hair. She looked perfect. They were happy pictures, she realized. Five of them. But that wasn't at all what had caused Jen's sudden wave of nausea. Underneath these pictures were a spoon, a lighter, a plastic bag with white powder…and a hypodermic needle. 

Talk to me softly 

_There's something in your eyes_

"What are you doing?" Roger's voice, thick with sleep, floated over her shoulder.

She dropped the box onto the floor and jumped. "What? I—"

Roger looked over her shoulder at the box, anger flashing through his blue eyes. "Why are you going through my closet? And why the hell did you look in that!"

"I was just cleaning out the closet. Your clothes were all over the place," Jen defended herself. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and picked the box up, tossing the needle that had fallen out onto the floor back under the tissue paper. "Just put it back."

Don't hang your head in sorrow 

_And please don't cry_

_I know how you feel_

_I've been there before_

_Something's changing inside you_

_And don't you know_

"What are you hiding from me?" she asked him softly.

"What?" He got off the bed and looked down at the piles of clothes. "Why are Mimi's clothes on the fucking floor?"

"Just calm down. I asked you what you're hiding from me. You've been pissed off at my the past few days and I'd like to know why."

"Jen I'm not mad at you," Roger replied through gritted teeth. "I'm just tired."

"You always were a bad liar." She shoved the box roughly into his hands and turned away. "I thought you promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore."

"I'm not lying to you!" he shouted. "God, why are you so paranoid!"

"I'm not."

Don't you cry tonight 

_I still love you baby_

"You are! If anything, you're the one who's hiding something from me. Not the other way around. You won't tell me what happened that night. You won't clue me in. You won't even let me barely touch you. I'm starting to believe that it never happened in the first place. Travis has—"

Jen stared at him and felt like she had been slapped. "Travis what? He convinced you that he didn't do it? Maybe he was too high, or too drunk? Is that right?" Roger didn't answer her. "Is it?" she shouted at him. "I know he's out on bail."

"Wes and Evan bailed him out."

"Bullshit! I bet you did too!" 

"I didn't!" Roger yelled back. "I love you! Why would I fucking let him out of jail?"

"Well, since when has me being your girlfriend ever stopped you from doing anything you wanted to before?" Jen replied sharply.

Don't you cry tonight 

_There's a heaven above you baby_

"I don't know what to do. I'm running out of things to say to you to try and convince you that I'm not going to fuck up again. Whatever I do, you won't believe me."

"Because all we've been doing for the past three weeks is fighting! Ever since Travis raped me we've been fighting! I can't even have a conversation with you without us screaming at each other."

Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye 

_Don't you take it so hard now_

_And please don't take it so  bad_

_I'll be thinking of you and the times we've had_

"I don't think this is working anymore."

"I'm moving out with Abby."

Frustrated, Roger kicked the pile of clothes to the side. "You know what?"

"What?" she yelled at him. "Tell me."

"We're wasting each other's time. That's time that you might have, but I don't! I don't have fucking—fifty, sixty years to be with you. I have maybe ten. Fifteen if we're really fucking lucky. I can't do this. I can't be mad at you all the time. I can't not have a sexual relationship with you. I can't not want to marry you. We can't be together anymore."

"Because you're hiding something from me! These two girls, April and Mimi, you're hiding them from me! I want to know! I think I have a right to know about my boyfriend's history before I marry him! I know about you and the drugs, and okay, you're better now—"

"You're so fucking stupid! Do you think that just because I went to rehab that it magically erased the two years I spent addicted to heroin? Do you? Just because I'm with you now, again, does that mean that I have to forget about Mimi? About April? I can't forget about them!"

"Because you loved them more than you loved me? Right?" 

"I loved them differently then I loved you!"

"I don't know anything about them!"

"Fine! They were both heroin addicts! Just like me! I got Mimi to go to rehab before she died from AIDS a year ago. April killed herself because she found out she had AIDS and blamed herself because she thought she gave it to me. Happy now? There. You know."

Jen stormed out of the room, the bedroom door hitting the wall loudly. Mark and Maureen looked up from the island in the kitchen, speechless. 

"Jen?" Mark called after her. 

"Abby come here. Get your stuffed animal and your blanket, okay?"

"Why Mommy?"

"Abby just get them for me and don't give me a hard time. We're going to stay with Uncle Collins tonight."

Abby nodded at the serious tone in her mother's voice. She knew this meant all business. "Uh huh."

"Where are you going?" Roger had followed Jen into the toddler's bedroom. "Don't do this."

"I'm staying with Collins until I can get a place of my own uptown. Until you get your head straightened out. Maybe permanently. I'll see."

"Do you hear yourself talking right now? This is crazy. You're leaving because you're pissed off about what happened in the past. Everything that drove me away from you when we were still together!" Roger ran his fingers through his hair. "Are you gonna keep Abby from me too?"

"We'll go to court for custody of her."

"I'm not going to fucking court!"

"Then you won't see her."

Mark walked into the room and surveyed what was going on. Abby was standing in the middle of Jen and Roger, glancing back and forth with wide eyes. "Guys. Stop it. Not in front of Abby."

"Bitch!" Roger shouted at Jen. "You can't do that to me!"

"Try me. I'll tell the judge you're a heroin addict and you'll never be able to see her!"

"I'm not an addict! I've been clean for three years!"

"Good for you. You and your junkie girlfriends."

"Both of you, stop!" Mark shouted at them. "Do you realize what you're saying to each other?"

"She's my daughter!"

"You've only know her for four months! That hardly qualifies you as any sort of father! Coming back here was the worst mistake of my life. I should have stayed away from you when I had the chance," Jen told him, bitterly.

"Fuck you."

Jen picked up Abby and brushed past Roger into the living room. "That's it. We're done. It's over."

"Good. I can't wait to go to the bar tonight and pick up someone else!" Roger yelled.

"Congratulations."

"Mom no," Abby squirmed. "I want to stay with Roger."

"No. We're going downstairs to see Uncle Collins."

"But I want to stay with Uncle Mark and Daddy!"

"Abby Nicole, I said no. That's final."

"What's this really about Jen? You not being able to let go of the past?"

"You have a whole supply of heroin in a box in your closet, along with a needle! Why would you hang onto something like that?"

"Just get out. Get your shit tomorrow or whatever. Come back tonight when I'm working. I just want you out."

"Fine."

"I'll see you in court," Roger taunted her, smugly. 

"Even better, I'll see you at your funeral." Jen slammed the door loudly, taking Abby with her.

Roger sank down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. Mark just stood uncomfortably in the middle of the living room, shooting a glance at Maureen, who was picking carelessly at the salad she was eating along with her soup. Nobody knew what to say to each other.

After about five minutes, Roger finally stood up. 

"I give up, Mark. I'm a fucking failure and I'm going to die alone, bitter and by myself."

"Roger," Maureen said softly. "That's not true."

"Roger…" Mark trailed off.

He shrugged and walked into his room. "Wake me up at seven so I can go to work."

*                            *                          *                          *

Collins sleepily opened up his apartment door, only to find Jen and Abby standing on his doormat. He took in the look on Jen's face and knew immediately that something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, concerned.

Jen said nothing as Abby walked into his apartment. She was waiting for her to get out of earshot. "It's over between me and Roger. Everything."

Collins opened his arms and she fell sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. Everything's going to be okay."

"Not this time."

He rubbed her back gently and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry Jen."

Don't you cry tonight 

_Don't you cry tonight_

_There's a heaven above you baby_

_Don't you cry tonight_

*                       *                   *                       *

Lyrics: 'Romeo and Juliet'; Dire Straits

'Don't Cry"; Guns N' Roses

**COMING UP**:

There will be much more Mark and Maureen in the upcoming chapters. Much more. And for what happens with Roger and Jen, you'll see. All I can say right now is that they have a much-needed conversation coming up shortly that specifically centers around his drug use, April and Mimi, and her rape.

Review please! =]


	29. Left Behind

CHAPTER 29

*                         *                       *                      *

A WEEK AND A HALF LATER 

Mark taped up the cardboard box he had just finished packing and pushed it aside.

"Okay. I finished with the rest of Abby's things. The rest of her toys and books are in there."

Jen looked up closet and nodded. "Great. Thanks." She leaned over and pulled out a handful of child size hangars and put them in another box. "Did Roger say when he was getting off of work?"

Mark shook his head. "No. Probably around ten, maybe."

"Yeah." Jen pushed the boxes together and walked out into the living room. "I guess I should take these over to my new place then."

"Hey, do you need any help?"

"Um, maybe just getting the boxes into my car, but other than that, not really. I just have a lot to unpack yet. Mostly my room, the kitchen stuff, and Abby's."

He nodded slowly. "If you're sure."

"I am." Jen smiled and ruffled Mark's hair. "And you can stop being so nice to me because of what happened with me and Roger."

"I'm not just being nice to you because of that…" Mark tried to defend himself.

"You're too nice Marky. But that's why I love you." She picked up a box and was just about to open the loft door when Roger opened it and walked right inside. He was holding a cigarette and blew the smoke right out in Jen's face.

"Oh. Sorry. Didn't see you there."

Jen rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't."

Mark caught the slight smirk that had formed on the edge of Roger's lips and shot him a look. Roger didn't seem to catch it and instead kept smoking his cigarette.

"What?" Roger asked him.

"Don't be immature."

Roger laughed and shrugged. "I wasn't being immature. Tell her that I'm sorry then."

"Why don't you tell her herself when she comes back from her car?" Mark reminded him.

"Because I don't have anything to say to someone that's trying to keep my daughter from me or threatening to take me to court," Roger shot back. 

Jen reentered the loft and passed through the living room into Abby's room. She walked back out a few seconds later with another box, on her way back downstairs to put it in the trunk of her car.

Mark really didn't want to get involved with this, but he did want to see what would happen if he went along with Roger's little game. Maybe they would end up talking to each other after all. 

"Jen, Roger says he's sorry for blowing the smoke into your face."

She laughed and kicked the door open. "Then you can tell Roger that I don't give a shit if he's sorry, because he's acting like a dick. As a matter of fact, his name probably should **be** Dick, considering his brains really are only in that area of his body."

Roger didn't really have a good response worked up, so instead he resulted to name-calling. "Bitch."

"Yeah." Jen slid her jacket on and picked up the box once again. "See you guys later. In your case Roger, hopefully later than sooner, but I couldn't be that lucky."

"Probably not. Like I said, I'm planning on being at the bar picking up a new girl tonight," he shot back.

Jen shrugged. "Have fun. Hope she puts up with as much shit as I did with you." She slammed the door and Mark heard her retreating footsteps pound down the stairs.

"Did you really have to do that?" Mark sighed. He dumped the ashtray and cigarette butts into the trash, placing it back onto the coffee table. "I mean, two weeks ago you were proclaiming your love for her. You were engaged to her. Christ, you two wanted another kid. And now you're hating each other?"

"Shit happens."

"Roger, don't you get it? You keep treating Jen like this, she'll never let you see Abby, and you'll miss out on seeing your daughter grow up with the time you have left. Do you really want that?"

Roger let out a frustrated sigh and ran his fingers through his spiky blonde hair. "Of course I don't want that! But Jen's making this so fucking hard! She's barely spoken to me in the week and a half since we fought. Fuck it, what am I supposed to do?"

"Tomorrow's Valentine's Day," Mark reminded him softly.  
  


He laughed and put lit up another cigarette. "Maybe for you and Maureen it might be, but for me, who's single, it's not anything special," Roger replied bitterly.

"You can't have that kind of attitude! And don't bring Maureen into this. Me and her aren't on the best terms right now either."

"Well at least she's not pulling a Jen on you," Roger argued. "I gotta get out of here for the night. Maybe I'll hit up the club with Wes or something."

"Just be careful," Mark warned him. "And don't get involved in anything you can't handle."

"I can take care of myself."

Mark watched as Roger left the apartment and slammed the door. He didn't know what to expect from him anymore.

*                                *                          *                         *

"How can you just leave me standing? Alone in a world that's so cold? Maybe I'm just too demanding—maybe I'm just like my father, too bold—"

Maureen rolled over and groaned. "Mark, stop," she whined. "It's too early."

"It's noon," he laughed. "Not too early for you to get up. Plus you have that interview with that new agent guy at two. You take forever to get ready."

She sat up in the bed and ran her fingers through her tangled curly hair. "Mmm I almost forgot. I really don't want to get up."

"Don't make me chase you, even doves have pride—"

"Agh!" Maureen laughed. "If you keep that up, you'll be the filmmaker formerly known as Mark Cohen."

"Oh funny." He watched her stand up and pull on a gray sweatshirt jacket over her white tee shirt and red plaid pajama pants. Mark came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her slender stomach, flipping her upside down over his shoulder.

"Mark! Goddammit!" she giggled. "Cut it out!" 

Mark playfully slapped her ass before setting her back down on the couch. "I want to take you out to dinner tonight."

"Marky, you don't have to. Can't we just stay in?"

He frowned and nodded. "If you want to, but I just figured you needed a change of scenery. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm just tired. I'd rather spend the night in laying on the couch with you then getting dressed to go out," Maureen pouted. 

Mark leaned over and kissed her gently. "Okay. If that's what you want to do, we will." He looked up and saw Roger walk into the apartment with a paper bag and a cup of coffee. "Hey."

"Fuck off."

Maureen whistled and rested her head against the back of the couch. "Sunshine."

"What part of fuck off didn't you understand?" Roger argued bitterly, before slamming the door to his bedroom.

Mark ignored him and shook his head. "Whatever. He's been like that for the past two weeks."

"I think he just needs to go and talk to Jen."

"Maybe. But he's too damn stubborn for his own good," Mark added. "Eventually he will."

"Yeah. I hope so." Maureen linked her hand through Mark's and smiled. "We can go out to dinner tomorrow night though. I think I'll feel more up to it. I just feel like staying in tonight."

He smiled and kissed her again. "Hungry?"

"Not really."

"Coffee then?" he asked.

"Sure sweetie."

*                           *                          *                         *

"Uncle Collins! Look what I can do!"

Collins set down the red pen he was using to grade term papers and laughed. "Okay, show me."

Abby pushed a strand of blonde hair away from her face and bit her lip. She looked like whatever she was about to do required a great amount of concentration. Before Collins could react, the toddler executed a perfectly angled cartwheel on the thin rug that covered Jen's new apartment. She threw her hands up in the air and giggled.

"Ta-da! Was I good?"

He nodded and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You were very good. So do you like your tumbling class?"

Abby nodded and smiled. "Mommy says that for my fourth birthday she's signing me up for a regular gymnastics class!" She held up four fingers and wiggled them. "Cause my teacher says I'm real good."

"Just be careful. There's not mats in the apartment like there are in the gym," he reminded her.

"I know." Abby sat down in the middle of the floor and looked up at Collins. "How come Roger hasn't been here yet?"

Uh oh. Collins swallowed and thought carefully about how he was going to approach this situation. "Well—"

Luckily, Jen had just gotten home and opened the apartment door. "Hey!" She dropped the two bags of groceries on the ground and took off her coat. "God is it cold out there!"

"Mommy!" Abby stood up and ran over to her mother, giving her a quick hug around the knees. 

"Hi sweetie." Jen crouched down and kissed her on the cheek. "What'd you and Collins do?"

"Nothing. I showed him my cartwheel and he drew on papers."

Collins laughed. "You mean I graded papers."

Abby shrugged and nodded. "Yeah. That too."

"Okay okay. How about you go and put away your toys so I can get dinner started?"

"Okay Mommy."

Collins headed into the kitchen with Jen and started to help her put away groceries once Abby went into her new bedroom. "So, how was work?"

"It was okay. First time back in the office for a while now. I picked up my new assignment and juggled a few phone calls back and forth, but it felt good to be back."

"Yeah. Are you still going to be working from home?"

"I have to." Jen put the orange juice in the fridge and closed it gently. "I'm not about to send Abby to daycare again. I'd rather have her here with me and if I need to, my friend Michelle can watch her on the days I have to go into the office."

"Or I could always watch her."

"I suppose. I just don't want to burden you—"

"Jen." Collins lightly placed his hand on her arm. "I can't tell you I know how you're feeling about what happened between you and Roger, but I can say that I have been in a similar situation. Frankly, it sucks. It's one of the worst feelings to ever to experience. But what I can tell you is that I'm here for you and Abby. If you need someone to watch her, either Logan or myself can. You're not burdening us. We love her. We love you. We're all here for you. Don't ever think that you're bothering us."

Jen nodded and kissed Collins on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Anytime. I just—honestly, how are you doing?"

She shrugged her shoulders limply and tucked a strand of her light brown hair behind her ear. "I'm okay. For lack of a better word. It was a lot harder last time. I was pregnant and so attached to him. I mean, he had been cheating on me for almost eight months behind my back when I finally left, but right now, it's different. I can't lock myself in a room for a week and cry my eyes out. I have to take care of Abby. She's my first priority. Not myself."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Jen placed the pot on the stove and started boiling the water. "I don't really want to talk about Roger or this anymore. I'm sorry."

Collins shook his head. "No, no. I just wanted to know how you were coping."

"Well thank you for asking, but really, I think I'll be okay. Eventually." She tried to plaster a fake smile on her face when she glanced up at him. "Did you want to stay for dinner?"

"Oh, no. Thanks for the invite, but I have to head back. Logan's cooking for me tonight anyway. Plus, I really have to write out lesson plans for next week. Couch potato college students and all."

Jen laughed. "Suit yourself. I'll see you later, and thank you for watching Abby for me. She loves it when you come by. Just uh, can you try to see if Roger's interested in seeing her at all this week? I can drop her off and pick her up later on…"

"Sure. I'll bring it up with him when I see him tomorrow."

"Thanks." Jen rested her hand on her head and sighed. "I can't believe I forgot to pick up Tylenol at the store. Dammit."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I've just been having bad headaches on and off this week. It's just annoying. I'm getting tired of it," she told him. 

"I'll drop some off tomorrow if you need me to."

"Thanks Collins."

*                                *                           *                         *

"Hey!" Wes slammed his drink down on the black club table and laughed. "Mike, pour my man Roger here another shot—"

"Another round of Absolut on the house!" Evan hollered out. He sucked on his cigarette and blew out a chain of smoke into the air. "What's the word I'm looking for? We're getting shunk? Shook?" He wrapped his arm tighter around the brunette sitting on his lap and started planting kisses along her neck, down to her cleavage.

"That would be drunk, my man," Mike the bartender called out. He poured a set of ten shots into glasses and brought it over on a tray. 

The brunette on his lap giggled as Evan started whispering in her ear. Roger drummed his fingers on the table and threw back a shot, thankful that he was starting to get slightly buzzed. He was starting to think less and less about Jen as the night wore on, which was a good thing. For the past week, all he had thought about was Jen. Tonight, hanging around with his friends and having a handful of beautiful girls wandering around, he was slightly distracted. It hadn't felt this good to be single in a long time.

Wes shook his head. "Nope, he's looking for shit faced. Because that's what we're all gonna be by the end of tonight!"

"Hell yeah!" Evan pushed his stack of empty shot glasses aside and started rolling a joint right at the table. "What did you say your name was again?" he slurred at the girl.

"Tracey," she laughed. She took the joint from Evan and took a long drag. 

"Roger, why don't you get yourself acquainted with some of the fine ladies that have wandered into this club?" Wes asked him. He took a sip from the beer bottle and laughed.

Roger lit up another cigarette, waving some of the lingering smoke out of his face. "Maybe later."

"You still hanging onto that Jen chick?" Evan blurted out. "You got to get yourself a quick lay. Hey Wes, what's Travis up to tonight?"

"Um—" Wes noticed the angry look that had formed on Roger's face and shrugged. "No idea. Meeting with his probation officer. He's not aloud in the club anyway. He can't come near Roger either. You know this."

"Oh yeah. Right." Evan took the joint back from Tracey and took a drag before passing it to Wes and Roger. "I'm shook, man. How the hell am I supposed to get home?"

"Take a cab," Roger suggested.

"Or you could come back to my place," Tracey said suggestively, her hand traveling up Evan's thigh.

"Sounds like a date to me," he slurred. "Hot shit. Some fine ladies just walked in, Davis. Tap that."

Roger looked over Evan's shoulder. A group of girls had just walked in, loudly talking and joking with each other. A few of them looked underage, but before he could turn away, two of them passed right by the table. The taller and thicker brunette had chin length styled hair that accented her hazel eyes. He took one look at her and knew she was on something—some sort of drug. Her friend was shorter, closer to Jen's height of five five, and had curly blonde hair that had lowlights of a dark brown throughout the strands. Both were dressed in tight club clothes, and they were heading to the bar, which was conveniently about ten feet away from Roger's table.

"Beth is tripping on the E tonight. Rum and Coke!" the brunette laughed obnoxiously as she placed her drink order.

The blonde, Beth, laughed and drummed her fingers on the edge of the counter. "Not tonight. I told you, I'd do anything but ecstasy. It's pointless and I don't like it." The bartender handed the girls their drinks and the brunette grabbed her friend's arm and laughed again.

"I'll see you later tonight. Maybe." She disappeared into the crowd of people that had gotten up to dance. Beth turned around carelessly and walked right into the back of Roger's chair, spilling her drink over his shoulder and onto the table in front of him.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry," she apologized. Beth grabbed a stack of napkins off of the table and started wiping it up. "I'm so clumsy."

Roger set his cigarette down in the ashtray and shrugged. He grabbed a napkin and wiped off the small amount of liquid that had gotten onto his shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

She smiled at him and Roger could make her face out more clearly underneath the dim club lights. She _was_ very pretty, and wasn't wearing a lot of makeup. She didn't need to. "Thanks. I should have watched where I was going." She eyed the lighter that was on the table and pulled out a cigarette from the pack in her purse. "You mind if I get a light?"

He shook his head and lit the cigarette for her. "Nope."

Beth sat down next to him and blew out the smoke into the air. "So what brings you here?"

"Don't have anything better to do," Roger laughed. "You?"

"Same. Looking for a good time, in a non hooker type of way."

_Got a light?_

_I know you—you're shivering--_

Roger pushed that memory out of the back of his mind and took another drink of his beer. _Mimi._ He didn't need to think about her right now. "I uh—know what you mean."

"So what's your name?" Beth leaned over a little bit and took a shot off of the tray. Roger tried to avoid staring down her shirt as she did that, but it was nearly impossible.

"Roger." He looked at her discreetly as she ate the cherry that had been resting in the drink off of the stem. "Yours?" He rested his hand against his pounding head. He was really starting to feel buzzed.

"Beth."

_You're staring again._ Roger blinked and swallowed another sip of his drink. "So your friend's into ecstasy?"

"Yeah." Beth nodded. "It's not for me."

"What is for you?"

She shrugged and crushed out the cigarette. "Pot, coke, occasionally heroin. I have to be really in the mood for that though. I know this probably sounds stupid, but it takes my mind off a lot of things and makes me feel better about myself. I guess I'm a statistic."

"Yeah." Roger swallowed. "You like to feel good?"

"Pretty much. Now and then, maybe."

_Mimi_. Mimi had said that to him. Nothing was making sense and his thoughts were swirling together. 

"Whatever works."

"So are you into anything?"

Roger stared at her. "What?"

"Drugs?" She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "What are you into?"

"I used to be a heroin addict. I went through withdrawal for six months."

"Ouch. Well, you must have been really addicted then," she smiled. "I need to cut back."

"You should," he pointed out. "It's not really the best thing to be doing for your body."

Beth let out a laugh and stood up. "Maybe. I need to hit up my dealer tonight after I leave."

"Yeah."

"So, Roger, are you a dancer?"

He shrugged. "Depends on my mood. Why?"

She motioned to the floor where numerous people were bumping and grinding against each other. "Well then, you want to dance? Or we could just sit here and hang out?"

Roger stood up and felt Beth press her hand against his back as they made their way towards the crowd and the deejay. He figured it was wrong and he shouldn't be getting involved with someone like her, but his body was ignoring his mind. Not just because he was buzzed, but also because he didn't want to let her go. He was attracted to her in more ways then one, but he shouldn't have been. He kept telling himself no and tried to think of Jen, but nothing worked, and they kept dancing, hips pressed together and Beth's arms wrapped around his neck.

By the end of the night, as the music died down, Roger had learned more about Beth. She was originally from Miami, had just turned twenty-one years old, and was finishing up her degree in fashion design when she wasn't getting high, drinking, or shooting up. She had been getting modeling jobs on the side for the past two years, and he was amazed at how many semi famous people she name dropped to him in the last two hours.

Beth stacked her last shot glass onto a nearby table and tucked her hand into the back of Roger's jean pocket. "So what do you say about us getting out of here and going somewhere a little more quiet?"

He laughed and lit up another cigarette. "Where?"

She leaned up against him and rested her cheek against his. "My place sound okay to you?" she whispered into his ear.

At this point Roger didn't really care where he ended up. He knew he couldn't go back to the loft. Mark was already pissed off at him, and all he would get would be more shit about Jen. The club atmosphere and all the drinks he had consumed were definitely starting to influence his decision. He didn't think going back to Beth's would be so bad. She was beautiful, single, and had no real baggage like he did. 

"Where's your place?"

She smiled and slid her arm around his waist. Roger hesitated at first, but quickly did the same. "Near Central Park. We'll have to take the subway."

*                              *                             *                              *

Review!

Prince's "When Doves Cry" was used in the line where Mark was singing to Maureen.


	30. Beth

CHAPTER 30

A/N: Thanks to my wonderful reviews. Love you all.

As a heads up, I will be changing my pen name to emotional-static. Basically just the original, somewhat longer version of em0xstatic.

Just a reminder; Jesse is Benny and Alison's three and a half month old son, and Sandra is Roger's mother.

Enjoy!

*                       *                     *                      *

MID MARCH 1998 

"Do you want some? I have enough."

Roger watched Beth pull one of his tee shirts on over her bare torso and shrugged. "I don't know."

She tied her curly hair back loosely and smiled at him. "You sure? It'll just take me a second to cut up another line for you." Beth crawled towards him and kissed him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He shut his eyes and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. I have that thing today."

Beth slid off the bed and stood up. "That thing meaning Abby's birthday party?"

"Yeah."

She slipped out of the room and into her bathroom, where Roger heard the sound of her cutting the cocaine lines. "What time are you supposed to be _there_?" 

Roger groaned at the way Beth had just said _there_. He knew that Beth had lived in the Upper East Side her whole life and rarely visited the East Village except to go clubbing. She had more money than most of the families in Scarsdale—even Jen's family. But when he saw her, he was so damn attracted to her, any thought of Jen or Abby faded away. Roger hadn't even seen Abby for three weeks now. Today was her fourth birthday, and he knew he couldn't blow off this one. The messages had been building up on his cell phone from Jen, and with each one he was tempted to call her back. _And say what? Sorry baby, I've been a fool?_ He never did call, and each one was deleted. He was pushing his friends and family away for weeks now because of some perfect stranger.

He opened the bedroom door that Beth had previously closed and walked out into the spacious living room. It was modern and airy, with two floor to ceiling windows that overlooked Park Avenue. A black leather couch and matching loveseat were positioned in the middle of the room, and an expensive glass coffee table was set in the middle. Roger glanced at the view for a quick second before passing into the kitchen. There was no doubt in his mind that Beth was definitely paying out of the ass for this place. 

He heard the faint sound of Beth snorting lines next to the porcelain sink. He in fact knew exactly where she was because he had spent so many mornings watching her do it to herself, and then in turn, she'd cut a few for him and Roger would do the same. Roger carelessly poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip of it. It tasted bitter and it suited him well. He spotted his black cell phone next to the stove and picked it up. It vibrated once to let him know he had a new voicemail.

"Roger, it's Jen again. Just um, letting you know that today is Abby's fourth birthday. Mark and everyone will be at my apartment around three, so if you're coming, that's great. Abby would really like to—

There was a pause, and then Roger heard Abby come over the line. _"Daddy! It's my birthday today! I'm four! Are you coming? I miss you, Daddy. You just have to come 'cause Mark and Mommy said you better or else. I think they're mad at you—I love you Daddy—"_

Jen's voice continued once again. _"Like I said, Abby really wants to see you. Well, I guess we'll see you later. Bye."_

Roger clicked the phone off and placed it back on the counter. He sloshed the liquid in his mouth before swallowing, just as Beth came out of the bathroom rubbing underneath her nose. She crossed into the kitchen and smiled at him, leaning against the wall. 

"Who was on the phone?"

"Uh, no one." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked over to her, kissing her neck. "You done in there?"

Beth nodded and pulled her hair free from its holder. "Yeah. Need a shower?"

"Kind of."

"Want some company?" she asked cheerfully. "I probably won't get to see you until later tonight when I meet you at the airport…"

Roger stared at her, confused. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Remember? I have class in an hour and then we're going to London tonight? Because I have that modeling shoot this weekend and they need me on location?" She laughed and kissed his forehead. "I booked the tickets a week ago and must have told you five times since then," she laughed. "But you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"No, I'll go," Roger reassured her. "It's almost eleven. You're gonna be late for class."

"Oh yeah." Beth tossed her blonde hair over her shoulders and laughed. "Class. Two more months until I graduate. I guess I'll see you later tonight then?"

"If you wanted to come to Abby's birthday party you could—" he blurted out. _Shit_. He instantly regretted it. Beth had walked into her bedroom and was scanning the contents of her closet. She instantly pulled off his tee shirt and quickly pulled on a black bra and a white v-neck sweater. Roger followed and watched her quietly.

"What were you saying?" She tugged on a pair of tight black pants and stiletto heels. 

"That you could come to my daughter's party with me if you wanted to," he added. 

"You sure? I wouldn't want to piss anyone off," she replied. "Burn any bridges, you know."

"Don't worry about it. I mean, I've been seeing you for what? Almost a month now. They'll have to meet you sooner or later."

"They meaning who? Your ex girlfriend and your daughter?"

"And my friends," Roger explained.

She shrugged and twisted her blonde hair up into a clip. It looked very sophisticated and elegant. Exactly how someone with money would wear it. He shook his head at these thoughts and gave her a smile instead. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. I'll come after class is over."

"It starts at three."

"I'll meet you back here at two thirty." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek, then moved down to his lips. 

Roger returned the kiss and watched her grab her coat and purse from the chair. "Just don't do anymore lines today before we go."

"I'll uh, try not to," Beth smiled sweetly. "I'll see you later." 

After Beth had left the apartment, Roger showered quickly and ran some gel through his hair. Even though he had told Beth not to snort any more coke for the day, he did a few lines himself before he got dressed. He didn't know what the hell to do anymore. After that one night at the club, they had both ended up back at her apartment and basically had a one night stand. Except that one night stand continued into a daily relationship ever since then. It had been almost a month now with Beth. He had been spending almost every waking and breathing moment with her. He had taken her to class, visited her dealer, gone shopping with her and out to lunch. They had spent the afternoons in bed, sipping expensive champagne while they were high from the cocaine. He wasn't going to lie and say he didn't enjoy the feeling he was getting, because he was. Roger didn't have to worry about a thing. There was no Abby seeking his attention, no Mark constantly worrying about him, and certainly no Jen nagging at him about their relationship problems. Beth was his escape—his release into a world that he told himself he would forget about a long time ago. _Beth was his new April._

He wanted to hate Beth for what she was doing to him. She was making him forget the things that had previously mattered the most. He couldn't hate her though. He was lusting after her and the security she gave him. 

How much longer could Roger keep up with this act?  
  


*                            *                           *                         *

"Uncle Mark! Grandma's here!"

Mark removed his hands from Maureen's waist and laughed. "Coming, Abby! Give me a second or have Uncle Benny open the door!"

"Uncle Benny's with the baby!" Abby shouted loudly. "She can't wait at the door forever, and Mommy says I'm not allowed to let anyone in for anything, even if I know 'em!"

Maureen kissed Mark on the cheek and pushed him away. "Duty calls," she laughed.

"I'll make up for it later," Mark promised. 

"We'll see," she laughed, carrying a tray of potato chips out into the living room of Jen's apartment. "Where the hell is Jen at? Is she still taking a shower?"

Collins looked up from the newspaper he was reading and shrugged. "Hasn't come out of the bathroom for a good forty five minutes now. I'd take that as a yes."

Mark opened the apartment door and Mrs. Davis walked in, carrying two shopping bags. "Hi Sandy," he greeted her.

Sandra kissed Mark on the cheek and gave him a tight hug. "You look so good, Mark. How have you been?"

"I've been okay. Working a lot, but okay."

"Grandma!" Abby jogged from her bedroom to Roger's mother and attached herself to the woman's knees. "I missed ya!"

Sandra knelt down and picked the toddler up. "Happy birthday sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm good! Did you bring Daddy with you?"

Mark caught Sandra's apprehensive glance and cleared his throat. "We think he might be coming a little later, Abby. But even if he doesn't, you'll have me, Maureen, Collins, Logan, Benny, Alison, and Jesse. Plus your mom and your grandma. How's that sound?"

"Okay. But I still wish Daddy would come."

"We'll see, honey," Sandra reassured the four year old. "How about you show me that new room of yours?"

"Okay." Abby took her grandmother's hand and led her towards her bedroom, while Mark turned back to Maureen.

"That was close," he remarked.

Maureen nodded and smiled sadly. "Let's just hope Roger comes. Did Jen call him?"

"Yes." Collins looked up once again. "Like usual, he never called back."

"Damn," she muttered, frustrated. "Where the fuck has he been lately?"

"Last I heard, he was spending a lot of time with some blonde. Brenda or something," Mark admitted. "Jen doesn't know, so don't slip it to her. I don't want to upset her anymore than she already is."

"Her name is Beth," Collins corrected him. "Roger talked to me about her when we had lunch last week. I just about wanted to beat some sense into him, but I didn't really want to ruin my day."

Maureen laughed. They never usually saw this side of Collins. "That's not like you at all."

"Its also not like Roger," he pointed out.

"Ain't that the truth," Mark stated miserably. "I'm really starting to worry about him—"

Maureen's head shot up when she heard the bathroom door open. Jen walked out steadily, holding a towel in one hand and. She smiled at them softly before placing the towel in the hamper.

"Hey. I heard the doorbell ring. Was it Roger?" Jen asked quietly. 

"No, it was Roger's mom," Maureen told her. "Sandra's in the bedroom with Abby."

"Oh okay. I'll go and say hi in a minute." Jen walked into the kitchen, leaving Mark, Maureen, and Collins behind in the living room.

Mark followed her, watching as Jen carelessly put away a few dishes. "Jen? Are you okay?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I um, I don't know Mark. I want to say that I am, but I don't know if I can do that."

He nodded and studied her face for a minute. He saw the tired expression that was now imprinted into her face and the bags that had formed underneath her eyes. She had gotten so thin, and so much paler since she had moved out of the loft a little over a month ago. 

"Are you feeling okay? You spent a lot of time in the bathroom this morning, and come to think of it, you said you haven't been feeling good when I've talked to you on the phone…" Mark didn't want to intrude. This wasn't his place to, but he was concerned about her.

"I'm fine," she defended herself loudly. "You don't have to worry—" Mark saw her chin start to tremble. "Worry about, about me," Jen tried to finish. Instead she started crying and Mark immediately pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

"Shh," Mark comforted her. "Everything's okay, Jen."

"No it's not!" Jen pushed Mark's arms away and leaned up against the counter, sobbing. "I don't know what to do! I can't balance work, and being a single mother at the same time. I feel like I'm suffocating, and I've been so sick lately and throwing up constantly—Jesus Christ, Mark, Roger's avoiding me." She dropped her voice a few levels and finally met his eyes. "Mark, I'm pregnant. I know I am. I can't pass it off as the flu or food poisoning any longer as much as I want to. I just thought you should know."

"You're sure?" he stuttered. "Jen, what, how far along? Are you sure? Roger's?" Mark couldn't even form the words. He felt like an imaginary hand had just grabbed his chest and was slowly squeezing the air out of it. 

"It's been a little over eight weeks since Travis—eight weeks," she finished quietly. 

"Travis?" Mark managed to get out. "You're sure?"

"Goddammit Mark don't ask me that!" Jen hissed at him. "It can't be Roger's! We were always so damn careful, and we hadn't had sex since New Year's Eve. Two weeks later Travis raped me. You do the fucking math!"

There it was. Jen had never admitted to being raped before. She acknowledged she had to Mark, Roger, and everyone else, but never had used it in a sentence before. It was always referred to as "what Travis did". Never rape. 

"I'm sorry, Jen, that was stupid of me," Mark apologized. "I just—okay. Have you been to the doctors?"

"No," she mumbled. "Not yet. I set up an appointment for next week."

"Do you want me to--?"

"Please."

He nodded. Mark knew he needed to go to that appointment with her. God knows Roger was being anything but helpful at this point.

"All right. I'll do anything for you Jen, you know that, right?"

She blinked back tears and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you so much Marky. I know I don't tell you that enough, but I do. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You'll be fine. Whatever you choose to do about the baby, you'll be fine." He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly.

"Okay," she breathed softly. "Just please Mark. The baby isn't Travis'. I'll do anything, I'll make up any story I have to. I'll even tell everyone it's yours or some long lost boyfriend's. It just can't be Travis'. If anyone asks, it's Roger's baby. Maybe because deep down I want it to be Roger's baby so badly. Just please Mark, no one can know it's Travis'. Not any of Roger's friends, and not Travis himself. I'm hoping he's stupid enough not to even figure it out when word gets out that I am pregnant. Okay? Promise me?"

Mark nodded and grabbed Jen's hands to stop her from shaking and rambling onward. "I promise. Now promise **me** something?"

"What?" She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Promise me you'll go out there and put on a brave face for everyone. For Abby. Make her fourth birthday great, okay?"

Benny entered the kitchen with three and a half month old Jesse cuddled against his shoulder. "Party's getting a little bit stale out there," he joked. "Everything okay in here?"

Jen smiled brightly and grabbed a juice pack for Abby off of the counter. "Everything's fine. Just finishing up with the—"

"Cake! The cake," Mark added quickly. "Just um, icing Abby's cake."

Benny eyed his former roommate curiously and laughed, patting Jesse's back softly. "Uh, okay. I'll see you both out there." He shook his head and looked back at them. "You two, man, what would I do without you two?"

Mark grinned. "You'd be lost."

"Probably," Benny chuckled as his left the kitchen.

Jen was just about to head out into the living room, but turned back abruptly. "Mark?"

"Hmm?" He looked up from the counter, where he had been staring off into space. "Yeah?"

"Did I ever tell you what Abby's name meant?"

"You mean the meaning behind it?" Mark questioned. 

"Yes."

He shook his head. "No, you never did."

"It means _my father's joy_."

"Oh god Jen…"

She shook her head and stepped out of the kitchen some. "I knew from the minute I set my eyes on her that Roger would love her. She was just this tiny, helpless baby. And I loved her more than I had ever loved anything in my life. I'd do anything for her, and I one point I'd do anything for Roger. I just hope Roger realizes how much he really does love her before it's too late." Jen backed away and left the kitchen, leaving Mark alone with his thoughts.

*                    *                     *                      *

The doorbell rang shortly after four o'clock. Benny, Mark, and Collins had been reminiscing about the good old days with a pack of Coors on Jen's couch for the past hour. Baby Jesse had fallen asleep after Alison had fed him, with a little bit of Abby's help. Afterwards, Alison, Roger's mother, Maureen, and Jen had sat around in the kitchen, laughing as they talked and were entertained by Abby. 

"Roger and Mark had the cutest little butts when they were growing up. Oh you should have seen them in their swim suits," Sandra laughed as she cleaned up the cake plates in the sink. "Mark, Benny! Answer that damn door, it won't open itself!"

Maureen took a sip of her martini and giggled. "Mark's butt is definitely still very cute."

"What?" Mark shouted over. 

"Aunt Mo said you got a cute booty!" Abby called out, laughing.

Benny and Collins snorted at Mark as he went to open the apartment door. "Goddamn Mark, even my wife doesn't tell me my ass is cute anymore."

"Benny, your ass is very cute," Alison called over, laughing. "Come over here!"

"Ah, wife calls!"

Collins laughed, but frowned when he saw Roger and a blonde he assumed was Beth standing uncomfortably in the hallway. "Roger. Long time no see."

"Hi Collins." Roger took of his leather jacket and hung it on the hook. Beth did the same. "Um, this is Beth."

Collins politely stood up and shook Beth's hand. "Thomas Collins."

"Beth Merteuil."

Jen leaned over Maureen's shoulder in the doorway that connected the hallway to the living room. She could see Roger, but neither he nor his "guest" could see her.

"Ugh. Who the hell did he bring with him?"

Maureen let out a hushed giggled and pulled out the olive from the bottom of her martini glass. "Beth Merteuil," she repeated in a snobby, squeaky voice.

Jen laughed. "Ooh Roger, should we screw now or later. Oh Roger!" 

Maureen rolled her eyes and laughed harder, swallowing the olive. "He probably heard us."

"Fuck him."

"Mmm she probably is," Maureen noted. "Come on, let's go back to the kitchen." She grabbed Jen's arm and pulled her down on a chair.

"I'll be damned if some fucking barely legal princess prances into my life and tries to take Roger away," Jen said bitterly, downing the rest of Maureen's martini with one sip. "Beth Merteuil. She better put up a good fight, because she'll be sorry she ever met me."

Maureen blinked and poured more of the martini into the glass. "I guess she's in for it then."

"I guess so."

Abby ran through the room and down the hallway. "Daddy!"

Jen ran her fingers through her dark brown hair. This was going to be one of Abby's birthdays she would never forget.

*                       *                      *                      *

Note: Beth is **somewhat** based upon the character of Kathryn from Cruel Intentions. I did borrow Kathryn's last name from the movie and used it as Beth's, so I don't own it. If you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you check it out if you have the time, because it's definitely worth checking out. Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon also start in it.

More drama coming up, so don't forget to review! =]


	31. Nothing Without You

 CHAPTER 31

A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! Daydreamer731, the-fraulein, Kelby, Amy, Jan, EMI, and stifflersmom. Thank you. =]

Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

*                               *                             *                             *

"Mommy?" Abby peered into the bathroom, where Jen was sitting up against the wall, resting her head in her hands.

"What baby?"

"Are you sick?"

Jen nodded and looked up at her daughter. "Kind of. But I'll be okay in a little bit."

"Oh. 'Cause it's almost eight and don't I got to go to preschool?" Abby asked, jumping around from foot to foot.

"Shit. Can you go get me the cordless phone on the coffee table? I'm going to call Uncle Mark and see if he can take you for me today."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sick, sweetie, and I don't want to get **you** sick," Jen lied. She reached her hand up and ran her fingers through Abby's wavy light blonde hair. "Go get the phone for me, okay?"

"Okay Mommy." Abby ran out of the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with the black cordless phone. "Here."

"Thanks. Why don't you go get your shoes on for me and I'll help you tie them in a minute." Jen dialed the loft number as Abby ran out of the room once again.

"Hello?" Maureen's sleepy voice came over the line.

"Hey, it's Jen. Is Mark around?"

"Yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Is everything okay?"

"Kind of."

"Okay." Jen heard some background noise and Mark talking to Maureen in a low voice. Apparently she had woken him up, which was exactly what she didn't want to do. Shit.

"Jen?"

"Hey Mark. Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I was already up. Just in the kitchen getting some coffee. What's wrong?"

Jen rested her hand against her forehead and cradled the phone against her ear. Another wave of nausea was passing through her, and she was trying to fight it down long enough so she could carry out the conversation with Mark. "I just—um, I'm not feeling too good and I don't think I'll be able to make it out the door to take Abby to preschool today. But if you're sleeping, I didn't want to bother you…"

"I'll take her and pick her up. Don't worry about it. What time does she need to be there for and want time does she need to be picked up?"

"She needs to be there at eight thirty and picked up at twelve thirty. I'm really sorry, Mark."

"No, don't even worry about it. It's not a problem. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay. Thanks Mark." 

"Anytime. Bye." Mark hung up the phone with Jen and crawled back onto the bed next to Maureen. She had her eyes closed again and was propped up on her side, facing him. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, causing her to automatically open her eyes. "Hey you."

"Hey," she yawned. "Is Jen okay?"

 Mark nodded and pulled on a pair of jeans. "She's dealing with pretty bad morning sickness, so I'm taking Abby to preschool and picking her up later on. I should be back around nine latest."

"Okay sweetie. I'll probably just go back to sleep anyway."

"Lazy," Mark chided her, laughing. "I'll see you later then?"

"I already told you, I'll still be sleeping," Maureen smiled. "Hey um, I wanted to talk to you later. If that's okay."

"Yeah that's fine. Are you okay?"

She nodded and tossed her dirty blonde curls over her shoulder. "Yea. I just want to talk to you, that's all."

"Okay. I'll be home in a little bit." Mark kissed her and Maureen wrapped her arms around his neck. "What, afraid to let me go?"

"Something like that," Maureen replied as she nuzzled her head into Mark's shoulder.

He kissed her forehead and smiled. "I'll see you later."

Maureen nodded and watched him leave the room. A few seconds later, the loft door slammed shut, signaling Mark's leave. She sighed and flipped over onto her stomach, rubbing her cheek against the pillows.

Why was Mark so good to her all the time?  
  


*                                     *                            *                           *

Jen pulled herself out of the bathroom when she heard the doorbell ring again. Mark and Abby had left for preschool not even five minutes before, so she easily figured that they had turned around because Abby had forgotten something, as she did from time to time. She scanned the loft for a missing glove or hair clip of Abby's, but found nothing. Sighing, she walked slowly to the door while resting her hand against her pounding head. She didn't remember ever being this sick when she was pregnant with Abby. She unlocked the metal chain and slid the door opening, coming face to face with surprisingly—Roger.

He looked straight at her and ran his fingers through his hair. His roots were starting to grow out again and Jen noticed he probably hadn't shaved that morning. But she overlooked all of this as she started to feel nauseous again, because being angry with him just wasn't enough.

"Hi," Roger finally spoke. "Um. Wow."

"Wow what?" Jen asked him bitterly. "Did you come all this way to piss me off or something?"

"No, I just. Jen, you look really thin. Different," he said quickly. 

"Oh thanks. You come all this way to tell me I look like shit then?"

He dropped his hands to his side and shook his head. "Can I come in? I think we have to talk."

"I think you should leave." She tried to slam the door in his face but he blocked it open with his bad shoulder and part of his hand. 

"Jen. Please. Just let me come in and we can talk."

She relented, only because she was starting to feel dizzy again and was in no mood to argue with someone as stubborn as Roger Davis. "Fine. Sit. Talk." Jen brushed past him and went straight into the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of ice water. She took a cube out of the glass and started chewing on it, hoping it would settle her stomach somewhat.

Roger took of his jacket and sat down on the couch, watching Jen chew on the ice cubes. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Look, did you want to talk or not? And why are you here? Don't you have some blonde to screw or something?"

"Jen, I just—dammit. You think you can hold back on insulting me long enough to let me get a fucking word in so I could talk to you? That's why I came all the way over here."

Jen had stopped listening to Roger and instead turned her back on him and headed straight for the sink. She considered running to the bathroom, but knew there was no way she would have made it there on time before throwing up half way. This was so disgusting. She couldn't—didn't want to have to deal with this right now. Instead, she barely made it to the sink before emptying her stomach.

"Whoa, Jen." Roger was on his feet and making his way automatically towards her. "Are you sick?"

She shrugged and rinsed her mouth out with the running faucet water she had just turned on. "That's not your business, okay? So just talk to me about what you had to talk to me about before I throw up on you!" 

Roger winced slightly. "You know what? Then just forget it. I thought I could come here and talk to you without you biting my fucking head off but apparently I thought wrong. So forget it, fuck you. I'm leaving."

Jen didn't bother to turn around from the sink, but heard the door slam loudly and knew Roger had left the apartment. She didn't even have time to react to him. She was feeling so sick, and it was almost as if he hadn't even been there. In a daze, she spotted a white business envelope sitting on her coffee table that certainly hadn't been there before Roger had walked in. She tucked a few strands of her layered shoulder length hair behind her ears and opened it.

Paternity test regarding Abby Nicole Davis. 

Jen scanned a few more lines of the letter, her mouth hanging open. She tightened her grip around the paper and immediately saw red. Why? Was Roger questioning the fact that he was even Abby's father? Fuck him. It was a damn good thing he had left, because there was no telling what she would have done if she found the paper when he was still here, with her. Hastily grabbing a gray sweatshirt jacket from her closet, Jen pulled it on roughly and flung herself out into the hallway, barely making sure to close the door behind her. She took the steps almost two at a time, trying to reach the street level as quick as she could from the fifth floor of her apartment building. She saw Roger ahead of her, just having turned the street corner. She dashed after him, weaving her way in and around the early morning crowds in an attempt to catch up with him. 

Jen grabbed a hold of Roger's arm. "Why are you doing this to me?" she shouted at him.

"What?" Roger stared down at her, shifting his cigarette to his other hand. "What are you talking about?"

"This!" Jen shoved the piece of paper into his chest and Roger automatically grabbed it, pulling her next to a brick wall so he could read it. "Why Roger? Just tell me why?"

"Jen, it's not what it looks like!" The sound of a cab honking its horn was starting to drown out his words, and Jen had to lean in closer to hear what he was trying to say. "I just needed you to sign something!"

"Sign what? You don't think you're Abby's father! Why should I sign anything?" she hissed at him. "That's what it is, wasn't it? A paternity test so you could try and claim that Abby wasn't yours and you and Beth could take off somewhere, away from me and from your daughter?"

I'll just close my eyes and whisper 

_Baby, blind love is true_

"What? No!" Roger shouted at her. "God, why do you have to twist everything around and make it into something it's not! I needed to take the goddamn paternity test and have you sign off on it because I wanted to file for child support for Abby! Is that so fucking hard to believe? I mean god, I may be an asshole but I'm really trying not to be a bad father here."

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses 

_For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails_

_I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is_

_And lay you down on a bed of roses_

Jen paused and didn't know what to say. She was wrong. She had thought he was denying that Abby was his child, but he wasn't. Roger was trying to do a good thing and she had jumped to conclusions.

"I um, I, I didn't think—"

"Yeah, right. Whatever."

Jen took the paper back from him and turned around, heading back in the direction of her apartment. She wiped carelessly at her eyes, trying to blink back the tears that she couldn't remember crying minutes ago.

"Jen, wait." Roger jogged after her and gently grabbed her shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Just don't touch me. You of all people have no right to touch me at all after what you did to me," Jen told him. "You—god Roger, why? Why? You promised me you wouldn't leave me again. You promised you would be there for me after what happened with Travis. You left me and Abby."

Roger didn't know what to say. Jen was right in a way. He had abandoned them both, but Jen was just as responsible for it as he was. They had both caused that argument back in February. "I know, but it wasn't all my fault! We had an argument, Jen. We said a lot of things out of anger. Dammit, if I could I would go back and change it all but I can't. I wish I didn't hurt you again like I did. I don't know what to tell you. I know sorry's not good enough. I'm sorry, but I can't change anything. It already happened."

"Yeah. Roger, I'm so fucked up."

If Jen had any idea what he had been putting in his body and what he had been doing on weekends with Beth, she'd instantly take that comment back. He was the one who was truly fucked up, not her. He knew in an hour or so he'd need another line of cocaine. He'd be high again. He'd go back to Beth and they'd have sex. Then do more lines of coke. Then have some more sex. Roger was really starting to hate himself for what he was doing lately. He was going back on a promise he had made to Mark. To Collins. Even to his own mother and to Jen. No more drugs after rehab. Ever. He had already broken it. After almost three years of being clean, he had broken it. For almost the first time in his life, he was truly ashamed of himself.

"Jen, look, let's just go back to your place, okay? It's freezing out, and you don't even have a coat on. Okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Roger and Jen made it back to her apartment within minutes. The door was still slightly ajar from when she had stormed out, so she eased it open and hung up her sweatshirt jacket in the closet.

"Are you feeling any better?"

Jen wanted to stay angry with him forever. She had been playing a good game of trying for the past month and half since he had been with Beth, but when she saw those eyes and his smile, she couldn't be mad at him. She just couldn't. "Not really."

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" Roger asked, concerned. "Did you party too much last night and get a bad hangover?"

"That's not funny," Jen replied. "And no, I didn't."

"Okay…"

Jen sat down at the kitchen table and rested her head in her hands. She was feeling nauseous **again**. She knew Roger was watching her from across the room and wished she could disappear for a few seconds. 

"Roger…"

He got up and leaned against the wall that separated the living room and the kitchen. "Yeah?" 

"I just, Roger, why? Why did you choose her? What does she have that I don't have?" Jen sobbed. "I don't understand. I love you. Isn't that enough?"

"Jen—"

"I'm pregnant." She couldn't believe she had just blurted it out like that, but once she realized it had come out, Jen was glad she had a chance to tell him and that he didn't have to hear it through Mark or anyone else.

"What?" Roger crossed his arms over his chest. "How far—how long?"

"About ten weeks now. I guess," Jen replied softly. "I'm sorry. I just found out for sure last week."

"Travis?"

She nodded and started crying again. "Yeah."

Roger walked over to her and crouched down next to her. He pulled her off the chair and into his lap as he rocked her back and forth. "God Jen, I had no idea."

Jen had a few sarcastic remarks running through her head at that point, but didn't say anything. Instead, she let Roger rock her back and forth. "I hate you so much," she sobbed. "I hate what you're doing to me and how I become nothing without you. I hate you."

Roger nodded, knowing that nothing he could say at this point would help the situation any. He knew he had a few important decisions to make, and the sooner her made them, the better.

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Review! The next chapter will be a little bit longer and will also have more Mark and Maureen. =]


	32. Eighteen Days

CHAPTER 32

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! FF.Net has been having some problems over the past few days, but I'm glad I'm able to post again. Enjoy!

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APRIL 10th, 1998

"Where are you going?"

Roger pulled continued pulling on his boots, trying to ignore Beth's arms around his chest. "Out. Go back to sleep."

"It's three AM. Where could you possibly be going this early?" She sat up and started kissing his neck. "Come back to sleep."

"I can't. I told you I have to go." Roger stood up and pulled on his leather jacket, although he doubted he would need it. Judging from the air that was rushing in through the slightly opened window, it had to have been around sixty degrees out.

"You're going back to her, aren't you?" When Roger didn't answer and continued looking at her, Beth let out an irritated laugh. "I knew it."

"I just—can we talk about this later?"

"You're still in love with her."

"I've always been in love with her. I can't change that," Roger pointed out. He lit up a cigarette and blew out the smoke into the room. "Look, no matter what I tell you, it's not going to be the right answer. I just have to go."

"Then go. You're not in love with me anyway. You never were."

"I'm not in love with you. You're not in love with me. We talked about this from the beginning. We're just—"

"Partying and having sex all the time?" She questioned, getting up to open the window some more. "That's what I thought."

"I'm sorry."

Beth gave Roger a small smile and shrugged. "It's okay. I knew that when I got involved with you, there were complications. Pregnant ex girlfriend. Your daughter. Is it your baby?"

Roger nodded without even giving it much thought. "Yeah. It is," he lied. There was no way in hell he was openly admitting that it was Travis' baby. It might as well be his, considering he was about to raise that baby with Jen when it was born.

"Well okay." Beth sighed and ran her fingers through her curly blonde hair. "Just get your stuff out of here by the end of the week then."

"Yeah. I will."

The next twenty minutes of Roger's life were spent on a subway train headed towards Jen's apartment. He was the only one in the empty train car, so he felt free to smoke a few more cigarettes, considering he hadn't seen anyone get on or off the train itself at the past few stops. By three thirty, he had gotten off the train and found himself standing before the door of Jen's fifth floor apartment. He knew it was early—too early for him to even be here at all—but he decided to knock anyway. He just hoped Jen would let him in, because he couldn't go back to Beth's and refused to go back to the loft until he resolved something with Mark, who he knew was pissed off at him as well.

He crushed the cigarette out and pressed the buzzer next to her door. He didn't hear anything from inside, but about a minute later he heard some shuffling and the click of the lock. It then creaked open, and Roger found himself face to face with Jen. 

"Uh, hey," Jen greeted him. "Are you okay? Do you know what time it is?"

"I know it's late," Roger acknowledged. "I just really need to talk to you. I needed to see you."

"Oh." She stood up on tiptoes to turn on the light switch by the door and as her blue tank top rode up, a part of her stomach was visible to him. Roger realized then that she was already starting to show. Not by much, but it stuck out a little bit more over her hips. He couldn't remember how far along she was since the last time he had spoken to her. "You're not gonna stand there all night are you?"

"Okay." Roger walked in the door and Jen shut it behind him. "You look um—you're showing."

"Um, yeah." Jen pulled down her tank top and grabbed a sweatshirt jacket from the couch and put it on over it. "So what did you want to talk about?"

He took off his jacket and tossed it on the couch as Jen wrapped her arms around herself. "I miss you."

She stared at him and nodded. "That's what you wanted to say to me?"

"Yeah." Roger cleared his throat and sat down on the couch. He noticed that his hands were starting to shake again. He hadn't done a line since this time yesterday morning. "I know I fucked up. Real bad. And I'm not asking for you back or anything, because I don't deserve you at all."

"You really don't," she sighed, sitting down next to him. "But I miss you too, and as much as I want to hate to admit that to you, I do."

"I'm sorry Jen." He looked up at her. "I'm really sorry. I've done shit I'm not proud of over the past two months. I'm sorry. I'm not looking from sympathy or anything at all, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry I left you and Abby alone. I'm sorry. I can't make up for lost time any other way."

"I know." She reached out her hand and linked it through Roger's shaking one. "You went back to drugs again, didn't you?"

He didn't hesitate before responding this time, as he had done in the past. "Yeah."

Jen let out a long sigh. "Okay."

"Yeah." 

"Look, the past two months really have been hell for me. They have. I've really missed you, Roger. When I came back here in November, I made a fucking promise to myself that I wouldn't get so attached, so if you went away again, I'd be okay. But I did get attached, and I did miss you. But I can't take you back. Not until you make a promise to me right now."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Promise me, Roger Michael Davis, right now, that you'll go to rehab and get yourself clean for me and Abby. _Promise me_. I don't care if it takes a month, I want you better. I want you back to your old self. No more running around. After you get clean, I want you to talk to Mark and make things right with him again. You've neglected him for two months."

"I promise Jen. Seriously. I fucking promise you. Never again."

She nodded and immediately buried her face in his chest. "God, I missed you."

"So…are we made up then?" Roger asked. "Because I don't think—"

"Shh." Jen pressed a finger against his lips and shrugged. "Just stop talking or I'll change my mind."

"Okay," he laughed. He brought his hand down over her stomach and rested it on top. "You're showing now."

"Oh um, yeah. Just like the past week it's started to stick out more. Do I look uneven now?"

"What? No. You look great. I really missed you." He looked up at her. "So you decided to keep the baby then?"

Jen nodded. "Yeah I did. I actually never really thought about aborting it or anything. It didn't really hit me, you know? Just because this baby came to be not exactly the way I would have ever wanted it to, that doesn't mean I'm not going to love it and give it a chance. You know what I'm trying to say?"

"Yeah. Definitely," Roger answered. "The same goes for me. I may want to break Travis' face if I ever happen to see him around, but as far as I'm concerned that baby is ours. Yours and mine. Abby's little brother or sister."

"You mean that?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. How much longer now?"

"Almost thirteen weeks now. Three months. I'm due sometime in mid October."

"Right around my birthday."

"Yeah. The big twenty seven," she laughed. "I think I'm going to have to take out my bellybutton ring soon. Maybe by the beginning of May."

"You're not showing that much now. It's cute."

"Thanks," she blushed. 

"Does Abby know anything yet?" 

Jen shook her head and yawned. "Nope. Not yet. I was trying to put it off until I got a little bigger, because then she'll start asking me everyday."

"Oh," Roger laughed. "Yeah, I could see her doing that."

"Yeah…so are you staying here tonight?"

"I guess, if that's okay. I have to get some of my stuff from Beth's tomorrow, but I'll do it when she's at class…" He stared at the floor again. 

"This probably sounds stupid and I probably won't remember half of this conversation in the morning, but are we picking up from where we left off or starting over, **again**?" Jen laughed. "You answer that one for me."

"I guess picking up from where we left off before that fight we had. Yeah," Roger answered her.

"Okay." She stood up and yawned. "Come on, let's go to bed. It's almost four. I didn't get much sleep tonight."

"That's a g rated invitation into your bedroom, right?" he joked.

"Yeah," Jen laughed. "For now."

"I'm starting to like how that sounds."

Jen playfully pushed Roger out of the way as they walked into her bedroom. "I think that's what I missed the most about you." She crawled underneath her sheets and comforter as Roger stripped down to his boxers."

"What?"

"I don't know. The way you always make me laugh. You say the stupid things that make me just smile."

Roger crawled in next to her and pulled her into his chest. "Yeah? Well I missed about a million and one things about you. But we'd be here forever if I named them all."

She snuggled into him and titled her chin up. "You need to shave. You're scratchy."

"Sorry about that." He purposely rubbed his chin against her cheek and she shrieked a little. 

"Stop!" Jen laughed. 

"Okay." Instead, he leaned in to kiss her softly. Their first real kiss in over two months. "Better?"

"Much," she agreed. She kissed him back and then rested her head on his chest. "Get better for me, okay?"

"I will. I'll call Wes tomorrow and we'll find a good rehab somewhere."

"Okay. Night."

"Night."

*                                         *                                       *                                       *

Mark tossed his soda can into the trash, drumming his fingers along the counter as he listened to Maureen's phone conversation.

"Okay. Yeah. Great! Okay, I'll book the tickets right after I get off the phone with you. Yup. I love you too Mom. See you next weekend. Tell Daddy I said hi. Bye."

Maureen tossed her curly dirty blonde hair over her shoulder when she hung up the cordless phone. Smiling, she turned back to Mark.

"What are your plans for next weekend?"

"I don't even have plans for this weekend, let alone **next** weekend," he answered. "Why, what's up? Who was on the phone?"

"My mom. She called and wanted me to come to Chicago sometime soon to visit, because I haven't seen her, my dad, or my sisters and brother for over a year now.  So I told her that I really had nothing planned next weekend, and then I brought up you. Long story short, she had bought me two round trip plane tickets for my birthday last year and I just never used them, so I was thinking about booking a flight this weekend."

"Oh really?" Mark thumbed through the phone book, trying to find a decent Chinese restaurant close enough to the East Village that delivered. 

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Maureen laughed. "Would you be up for meeting my family next weekend?"

"Uh yeah. Sure, I guess," Mark answered. "Are they crazy like you?"

"No…" she trailed off. Grabbing her coffee mug she rinsed it out in the sink and exited the kitchen of her apartment. 

"I was joking," Mark laughed. "You know, joking? It's what two people in a relationship do from time to time?"

"Great. But maybe you shouldn't joke about other people's families when you don't exactly know anything about them."

"Yeah, but you crack on my mother all the time when she calls the loft and you don't know her," he pointed out.

"Your mother practically screams her head off about you on the answering machine. I think people have a small right to be a little pissed off at that and make a slight judgment of her," Maureen protested. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm still going, with or without you."

"Are we getting into a fight over this? We haven't fought since—" Mark stopped himself. He was about to say _before you ended up in the hospital**, **_but knew that wasn't the appropriate route to go right now.

"Since I tried to kill myself."

Silence filled the room as Mark stared at the floor and Maureen checked out her nails nervously. "I'll go with you."

"Okay."

"Okay then."

"All right then," Maureen laughed.

"Right."

"Great."

"We'll have an absolutely cheery time," Mark added with a snobbish accent. 

"The best, dahling," Maureen snorted. "I'm glad you're going with me though." She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He pulled her in for a kiss and lifted her a little bit off the ground. "You want an egg roll when we order Chinese?"

"Way to kill the moment," Maureen muttered. 

"Do you want my egg roll?" Mark laughed, kissing her again. "You know, **my egg roll**?" He winked suggestively.

"Ew!" she shrieked. "Oh god, Roger loves egg rolls and now when I see him eating one—agh!" she laughed. "Mark!"

"What?" he laughed. "See, I got you to smile. Cheer up, beautiful." He walked away and dialed the number listed in the phone book.

"Mark!"

He covered the receiver and looked at her. "What?"

"Get me shrimp lo mein and almond cookies. Just no…egg rolls please," she laughed. 

"Okay," he laughed. 

*                                      *                                 *                                         *

FIVE DAYS LATER

"Yeah Mark, we're here now. He checked his bags and everything. He's about to go through security. Okay. Do you want to talk to him?"

Roger looked up at Jen. "Yeah?" he mouthed to her.

"No," she mouthed back and shook her head. "I'll see you later today. Bye."

"I guess that was a no," Roger groaned. "But I know I deserve it."

Jen smiled sadly and linked her hand through his. "Where did Wes go?"

"To get our boarding passes. Also to give us some alone time I think."

"Yeah."

Kennedy Airport had never looked so foreign to Jen as it did now. Roger did live up to the end of his promise and called Wes the morning after their talk at her apartment. Wes pulled a few strings and had gotten Roger into a good rehab center…in Los Angeles, California. Nobody had really questioned why Roger would travel three thousand miles away for a three-week stint in this place when he could have close to the same treatment right here in Manhattan. Deep down, everyone knew that if Roger really was to have a good shot at getting better, he would have to leave the city temporarily, have some time to think through his thoughts and get clean, and then return in a better state of mind. Jen realized that the only person other person beside herself or Mark that knew Roger the best was Wes, and that Wes realized that sending Roger away would benefit him too. When the tickets were booked and his rehab stint paid for, Wes had told Roger that he'd go with him and be there for him every step of the way. Jen knew that they were both planning on staying at Wes' mother's apartment for those three weeks, since she was in Las Vegas for business. Now it was just a matter of getting Roger clean and having him come home again.

"Eighteen days until I see you," Roger laughed. "You starting a countdown?"

"Hmm…" Jen pretended to give this some thought and buried her head in his chest. 

Roger laughed and picked her up, carrying her down the terminal in his arms. "God Jen, what the hell have you been eating?" he joked.

"Hey!" she protested. "Don't make fun of me."

"I wasn't. But soon enough I won't be able to pick you up at **all**," he kept teasing her. "You'll be four months along when I come back. I think I'm missing out."

"Missing out on heartburn, indigestion, and me being grumpy? No, you'll just have to deal with me when you get back," she giggled. "I'm missing you already."

"Yeah me too baby." Roger spotted Wes in the distance and waved. "I think I have to leave you at security. You sure you'll be okay getting back to your car?"

"Positive. I'm glad we drove in. I hate getting on the subway alone."

"Okay. And call me. I know it's an outpatient thing, but I'm calling you. All the time."

"Just remember it's three hours behind there," she reminded him. "Also that I'm moody, pregnant, and taking care of your four year old daughter too."

"I'll uh, try to keep that in mind," he grinned and pulled her in for a kiss.

"You know, I'm standing right fucking here," Wes pointed out, laughing. "You couldn't have planted a good one on her back there?"

"No, we were just so graced by your presence that we had to make out right here," Jen smiled. "Don't let Roger get out of hand in LA."

"Yes, Mommy," Roger said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"I won't. I'll make him call you, do his laundry, and floss his teeth. He'll come back a new man. When are we hitting the first strip club again?"

"Oh, tomorrow night sound good?" Roger agreed.

"Hey!" Jen laughed. "None of that."

"Alright I'm going through security now before you two get all up close and personal. See ya on the other side, Rog."

"Okay."

"Bye Wes," Jen called after him. "Be good for me."

"I will. I'd say I love you right now but I don't know if you'd hit me for that."

"I've always loved you. I know that sounds corny, but I have. So I don't care because I forgave you and I'm saying it now. I love you."

"Good." He kissed her again and rubbed her back softly. "I love you." Roger then looked down at her stomach. "And anyone else that comes along."

"Have a good trip and I'll see you in eighteen days."

"Eighteen. I'm staring to count." He let go of her hand and placed his bag on the security conveyor belt.

"Me too." Jen watched Roger pass through security and waved to him from the other side. "Bye."

"Bye, I love you!" He dramatically blew her a kiss and she pretended to catch it.

Eighteen days. It wouldn't be so bad, would it?

*                                    *                                 *                                 * 

Review please! =]


	33. Chicago

CHAPTER 33

Thanks to Michelle, MaureentheDramaQueen, Kelby, lozzypop, EMI, Amy, Jan, and the-fraulein for the great reviews of course! I've broken 200 now, so thank you all for that!

For those of you that are Mark/Maureen fans, you'll enjoy this chapter. =]

*                                       *                             *                              *

APRIL 18th

"So how much further?" Mark yawned from the backseat of the cab and drummed his fingers on the leather seat.

Maureen glanced out the window and down the road and smiled. "It's the next street over from this one. It's the house right behind that yellow one over there. You can see the pool kind of."

He looked in the direction that she was pointing in and nodded. "Oh. It's really nice here. Kind of reminds me of Scarsdale a little bit."

"Really?" Maureen asked him. 

"Well, this part of Chicago anyway. The residential area, not the actual city," he laughed. "I thought all along you were from Hicksville."

"Well I was. My parents moved away when I was two and we ended up here. They wanted to be closer to my grandparents."

The cab screeched to a halt outside a two story tan brick house with brown trim. Three cars were parked in the paved driveway: A black Cavalier, a red Volvo, and a black Jetta.  Very middle class. The lawn was manicured nicely, and rows of flowers accented the walkway up to the front door. Maureen quickly paid the cab fare and got out, heading straight to the trunk. Mark followed and unloaded the one suitcase they had brought with them for the weekend. She had shoved all of their clothes they would need for the three day stay the night before, and Mark silently prayed that nothing of his had been left behind to make more room for her extensive wardrobe. 

"What's that other bag?" Mark asked her, confused.

"My makeup and hair shit," she answered. He started laughing and hugged her gently. "What? You really think I could survive the weekend without all of it?"

"No, probably not. You would have looked like the Wicked Witch of the West," Mark teased. 

She pinched him and grinned devilishly. "Behave."

The cab pulled away from the curb and headed down the street as Mark and Maureen made their way up the walkway. It was a little after noon, and they were both starving, since they hadn't eaten much for breakfast or on the plane besides peanuts and orange juice. Maureen pressed the doorbell and nervously started tapping her fingers against her jeans.

"Stop that," Mark laughed. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. "Everything's okay. You'll be fine. You're still their daughter. Breathe."

Maureen smiled and shrugged. "You're right."

The front door opened and a middle-aged woman with blonde shoulder length hair appeared. Her eyes widened when she saw Maureen and she quickly opened the glass screen door.

"Sweetie! Hi!" The woman wrapped her arms around Maureen and kissed her cheek. "Oh my god, you're so thin now! Well you've always been thin, but wow! You look wonderful."

"Hi Mommy." She pulled away and motioned to Mark. "Mom, this is my boyfriend, Mark. Mark, this is my mom, Maryanne."

"It's nice to meet you," Mark said, grasping Mrs. Johnson's outstretched hand softly.

"Same here, Mark. You two look exhausted. Come on, I'll show you to the guest room upstairs and let you get settled. Are you hungry?"

"Famished," Maureen laughed. "Plane food just doesn't cut it for me." She smiled at Mark and took his hand again.

"I sent your father down for subs a few minutes ago so he should be back in a few. Nicky's out god knows where, and Ashley's not going to be home this weekend. But Monica will be here later tonight for dinner and she's practically talked my ear off about you coming home. Please Maureen, call your sister more often, will you?" Mrs. Johnson laughed. 

"I know, I know." The three of them walked into the airy and spacious guest room. A queen size bed was positioned in between two windows. A closet was off to the right, and a computer and desk were to the left. A door connected the room to the guest bathroom, which was spotless. 

"Here it is. I'll put more towels in the bathroom later tonight and there are clean sheets on the bed. Oh I'm so glad you're finally home." Maryanne hugged her daughter again. "You look so different."

"You say that **every** time you see me, Mom," Maureen whined. 

"Because it's the truth!" she laughed. "You should give Mark the grand tour later. Show him your room and everything."

"I will."

Maryanne smiled at Mark and clasped her hands together. "I'll leave you two alone and let you get settled in. I'll holler when your father gets back with the food."

"Thanks Mom."

"Yeah, thank you Mrs. Johnson."

She nodded and smiled. "It's Maryanne, sweetie. No need for that. Don't make me feel older than I am." She shut the door behind her, and Mark heard her footsteps thunder back down the steps.

"She's nice," Mark noted. 

"Yeah. She is." Maureen started chewing on her lip and looked up at the ceiling.

"You okay?" He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her stomach, planting a kiss on her neck.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine." She pulled out of his grasp. "Come on, I'll show you my room."  
  


"Implying something there?"

"Nope. Saving that for later. How else are we going to break in this bed?" she winked. "Come on." She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall and up another small set of stairs. They found themselves in front of another door. Maureen opened it and they entered a long loft-like room. Posters of various eighties bands were hanging on the walls. Old pictures of friends were stuck in the mirror. The daybed was very neatly made. Just a typical teenager's room, revisited six years later.

"Wow. Pretty nice for a…Catholic school girl?" Mark walked over to the wall and pointed at the varsity letter tacked up on Maureen's bulletin board. "Lots of school pride?"

"Yeah. I was a varsity cheerleader. Go figure. Mount Saint Mary's." 

"But you and Catholic school girl in the same sentence?" Mark laughed. "Did you hate it?"

Maureen shrugged. "It wasn't too bad. I would've transferred out but I wanted to keep my grandparents happy. My parents didn't really care and told me they would have supported me going to a public high school. My little Ashley went to Catholic school too. Monica and Nick both went to public school. I guess I just felt like I was the odd one out." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I had a lot of good friends, and raised hell on the weekends, so I was okay with it. I wasn't really the best student though."

"I wasn't either."

"Really? Marky, not a good student?" She laughed and started glancing at the pictures still stuck in parts of her mirror. 

"Who the hell do you think I hung out with all the time?" 

"You mean you didn't have any other friends beside Roger?"

"No, I did. But it was usually Roger and a few of our other friends. We were never really home. Partied a lot."

"But you and partied a lot in the same sentence?" Maureen mocked him, giggling. 

He shrugged and stretched out on her daybed, picking up a black photo album off of the nightstand. Maureen wasn't really paying attention, so he started flipping through it slowly. Picture after picture of a woman and man with dark brown hair holding a newborn baby. Maureen's birth announcement and a baby snapshot. The pictures progressed through the years, and then there were quite a few pictures of a young Maureen with a little girl around the age of two or three. Both were posed in dresses—the pictures obviously had been professionally done. A caption at the bottom read 'Maureen, age six. Monica, age three—1980'. Confused, Mark furrowed his brow and flipped backwards. He didn't see any resemblance to Maureen's mother, Maryanne, in these pictures in either Maureen **or **her younger sister. In fact, the woman he had met not even twenty minutes before wasn't in any of these early pictures at all. Her mother wasn't even the one holding Maureen when she was a newborn or pictured with the two girls. Something wasn't right here. 

"Oh, pookie, I found my varsity cheerleading jacket in my closet!" Maureen laughed. "It still fits!" 

Mark looked up and found her wearing the white and blue jacket. "Cool." She then turned back around and started digging through her closet some more, and he returned his attention to the photo album. He found the page with Maureen's birth announcement on it and scanned it over again carefully.

_John and Diane Bailey would like to announce the birth of their daughter, Maureen Elizabeth Bailey, born on November 8th, 1974 at 6:02 PM. 7lbs., 1 oz._

Bailey? Mark knew Maureen's last name was Johnson. What was going on? And wait a minute, didn't she just tell him that she had two other siblings? Nick and Ashley? How come they weren't even in these pictures? He continued from where he had left off, and then found the pictures with the woman Maureen had introduced as her mother. Maryanne was sitting on the pool deck with Maureen and Monica, along with two other children Mark knew had to be Nick and Ashley and a man with dirty blonde hair. Except Nick and Ashley resembled Maryanne and this man without a doubt. Same blonde colored hair and everything. Maureen and Monica stood out, with their dark brown curls and different features. 

"Hey Mo?"

"Yeah?" She pulled her head out of the closet and smiled. "What?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure sweetie."

"How come your mom isn't pictured in these early pictures of you?" he asked her. "I'm just wondering. It seems a little weird to me."

Maureen visibly paled a little bit in the sunlight that was floating into the room and wrapped her arms across her chest. "Where'd you find that photo album?"

"Just…here. On the nightstand." Mark sensed that something was wrong and automatically closed the album. "Sorry. I just thought since you were looking through your closet—"

"That you could snoop through my **private** pictures?" She raised her voice a few notches and held out her hand. "Give me the album."

"Okay—" Mark handed her the book and Maureen automatically took it back to the closet and placed it on the top shelf, slamming the door in the process. "Um, am I missing something?"

"Do you see me snooping through your room? No! So why do you think you have the right to look at my pictures?" Maureen yelled at him. "God Mark, you think you could have a little more respect for me than just do that behind my back?"

"Technically it wasn't behind your back, since you were in the room the whole time. Plus, you just had the damn thing on your nightstand. It wasn't like it was hidden or anything. I thought I could look at it. Sorry. Next time I'll fucking ask you, okay?" he snapped back. "You're acting like you're hiding something from me."

"Well maybe I am! Maybe you just don't have a right to know!" 

"God, stop being dramatic. They were just pictures. I just wanted to know why your mother wasn't in them, and why your last name was Bailey. Christ, okay, calm down. Not a big deal. Forget I even looked at them and forget I even asked."

_"Maureen, Mark! Lunch!"_

Maureen took off her varsity jacket and placed it on the bed. "Come on. Let's go eat and you can meet my dad. Marky…I'm sorry. It's just, there's something I never told you because I was afraid you wouldn't understand. I'll explain it later. I promise. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't mean to—"

Mark had walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed her forehead as she rested her head against his shoulder. "It's okay. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Just later, okay?"

"Sure."

*                                         *                                       *                                  * 

"So Mark, Maureen phoned the other day and told me you were from Scarsdale? That's right around New Rochelle, right?"

"Yes, sir. About fifteen minutes away. My sister and her family live there." Mark eyed Maureen nervously and pushed the pot roast around his plate. She gave him a bright smile and picked up her wine glass to take a sip.

It was around six o'clock Friday evening, and about twenty minutes beforehand Mrs. Johnson had taken the pot roast and potatoes out of the oven and served it out on the table. For a short period of time, it had just been Maureen's father and mother, Jack and Maryanne, himself, and Maureen sitting around making idle conversation. There had been a little bit of tension at first, but they had all settled in comfortably when Maureen's younger sister, Monica, had gotten home from work to join them. 

"That sounds great. First time in Chicago?" Jack buttered himself a roll and passed the butter across the table to Maureen, who did the same. 

"Definitely."

"Well then Maureen will have to show you around tomorrow."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'll take you to a few art and photography museums downtown. We have some great ones here."

"That sounds great," Mark added. Okay, the whole 'family' conversation was definitely getting forced now.

Maryanne must have sensed the tension, so she looked up at Mark and smiled. "Maureen told me that you make documentaries, Mark. How do you like that line of work?"

"I guess it suits me pretty well. I get to capture a lot of great things on camera, and then put them together how I see fit. You have some pretty…interesting people in Manhattan. You get a lot of good footage by just watching people do everyday things."

Maureen giggled and squeezed his hand underneath the table. "Don't get Mark started, Mom. It's one of his favorite things to talk about and we might just end up being here for days."

"Nothing wrong with that, honey. Your father's the same way once he starts talking about another blueprint he put together."

Jack laughed. "You see what I have to put up with, Mark?"

"Come on, Dad," Monica chimed in. "How many times would you try to get us to add in ideas for another house? What about another bathroom here? A walk in closet?" She ran her fingers through her shoulder length dark blonde hair and shrugged. "Any more wine coolers in the fridge, Mom?"

"You've had two already…"

"She's twenty one, let her drink what she wants." Jack set down his fork and yawned. "So what do you two have planned tonight? I don't know about you, but I'm tired as hell."

Maureen shrugged and started running her finger along the edge of the wine glass. "Um, we haven't really thought about it. Maybe we'll go downtown or something."

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "We'll think of something. This was a great meal, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks."

"No problem, Mark. I'm just glad I get to finally meet you. Maureen's always talked so much about you over the years." Maryanne started bustling around the table and stacking everyone's dirty dishes, and Maureen jumped up to help her. Unsure of what to do, Mark lapsed into conversation with her father and sister for a few minutes, until he felt Maureen's hands wrapped around his neck again.

"What do you say to getting out of here for a little while and taking a walk?"

"Sure." He looked up at her, concerned. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just—need to talk to you, that's all."

"Going out?" Maryanne asked, coming back into the dining room. "Sure you don't want any cheesecake for dessert?"

"No thanks," Maureen told her. "We'll be back later tonight."

"Okay, sweetie. I'll leave some aside in the fridge for you then. I'm so glad you're home." Mrs. Johnson squeezed her daughter's shoulders as she passed, and patted Mark on the back. 

"Me too, Mom."

*                               *                            *                                  * 

Twenty minutes and a short cab ride later, Mark and Maureen found themselves frequenting Michigan Avenue, near the Old Chicago Water Tower. It was unusually quiet as they made their way to a small park about a block over. Mark playfully shoved Maureen in front of him, and she turned around and smiled. 

"What was that for?"

"Just for being you," Mark laughed. "Hey, I'm really sorry about looking through that album before in your room. I didn't think it would upset you that much."

"It's okay. I guess I overreacted. Sorry." 

"Don't worry about it." Mark watched her silently with his eyes as she settled herself in a swing. He ended up doing the same right next to her. "If you don't want to talk about it or anything, you don't have to."

"No, but I mean, you have a right to know. I just don't like talking about it. I don't think anyone really knows. Only Collins, maybe. I might have told him one time. I'm not really sure."

"Yeah."

Maureen started swinging back and forth slowly, low enough that she could still talk to Mark. "My real parents were John and Diane Bailey, **not** Jack and Maryanne Johnson. I guess—I don't really know where to start, so I'm sorry if this seems a little bit scattered. I was born in Hicksville, New York, mid November of '74. My parents had just gotten married the year before, and then they had me. I guess I had a pretty happy childhood, because I don't really remember much of it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I think most of my real memories start from when I was six," Mark added.

"My mom was really young when she had me. She was nineteen, and my dad was twenty. They were high school sweethearts, and Jack Johnson was my father's best friend. He was a year older, and had married Maryanne the year before my parents got married. When I was baptized, Jack and Maryanne became my godparents. Basically if anything ever happened to my parents, they would take over the responsibility of me. Well anyway, right before my first birthday, Maryanne had gotten a job offer in Chicago, so she transferred from Hicksville to there. I think it was pretty hard on my parents, knowing that their best friends were five hundred miles away. We tried to visit as much as we could, but you know how that works out. Eventually, my parents got sick of living in Hicksville, and moved to Chicago the summer of 1976. My mom wanted to be closer to her parents, and my dad's parents lived in Detroit, which wasn't that far away from Chicago, so everything worked out. Monica was born the spring of '77 when I was three years old. We were pretty close growing up, I guess as close as sisters can be maybe. My mom and Maryanne were always together, and when she would come over, she would bring her and Jack's son, Nick, who was a year older than me. Sorry, is this boring you?"

"No, go ahead. I'm just trying to follow along. So then Diane and John, your real parents, what happened to them?"

"Okay." Maureen stopped swinging, and looked down at the ground. Well it was May, a few days before Monica's fourth birthday. My parents had gone out that afternoon to go shopping for a few more presents for her and to have an early dinner. My grandma, my mom's mom, Nina, was babysitting my sister and I that day, because my mom had taken the day off to go to the doctor because she wasn't feeling well. Well, it was getting later and later, and my mom had promised me before she went out that she would be home in time to watch the Cosby show with me at eight that night. Six o'clock came and went, then seven. Pretty soon it was getting towards eight, and I kept begging my grandma to tell me where my parents were and why they weren't home."

_"Tonight's the Cosby show, Mom. You gotta be home by then!"_

_"I promise Maureen. I love you and I'll see you later tonight."_

Mark watched Maureen grab at her necklace tightly. He said nothing, and let her continue. "It was late. My grandparents were getting worried. So they started calling around, trying to get in touch with a few friends to see if maybe my parents had stopped over. My grandpa, Mike, ending up watching the Cosby show with me that night. Around 8:30, we got a phone call from…the hospital. A drunken driver had hit their car head on and caused a twenty-car pileup on the parkway. My parents were flown by helicopter to Northwestern hospital. My dad died five minutes after they tried reviving him in the trauma room, and my mom had too much internal bleeding. She didn't make it through the night. I didn't find out the details of how everything happened until I was a lot older, though."

"Oh god, Mo, I'm so sorry…" Mark didn't know what to say, so instead he reached over and took her hand in his. "I had no idea."

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn't even know when she had started crying. She didn't tell a lot of people this story. "It was a long time ago. Jack and Maryanne came to the hospital and sat with me and my sister for the rest of the night as the paperwork went through. After the funeral, they adopted me and Monica and we went to live with them. I don't really remember a lot of my feelings. I know I was pretty angry for a long time, because as childish as this sounds, my mom broke her promise to me. She didn't watch the Cosby show with me that night. It's hard now. Sometimes I think about her, and sometimes I don't. Her face is always blurry, and even when I look at pictures, it still is. I can't picture her or my dad in my head. I just remember the way she smelled when she got ready for work. Chanel perfume. I remember the way she used to make me pancakes in the morning, and how she always put lavender soap bubbles in my baths at night. I remember my dad always spinning me around on his shoulders when he got home from work. Little things like that. But then I remember a lot of happy times with Jack and Maryanne, too. They tried to take over my parents' place, but after time, I let them both. I think it's because of this that they let me slide when I got in trouble. They never grounded me or punished me, really. We just got into fights a lot of the time, but I think they were afraid that if they punished me, that they were forcing their rules onto me, and I don't think they wanted me to rebel. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it does," Mark told her. 

"But now when I talk about my 'parents', I talk about Jack and Maryanne. I was six years old when John and Diane died. Because even though I don't like saying this, Jack and Maryanne were always there for me when life got harder when I grew up. We were always pretty close, even though they weren't my **biological** parents or anything. They treated Monica and I the same way they treated Nick and Ashley, except about the punishments. I have a lot of respect for them. That's why when your mother or Roger's mother calls, I get so upset because you both ignore it and put if off to the last minute or until they call again. Sometimes I wish I could have gotten a better chance to say goodbye to my real mom and dad. Maryanne and I used to have these talks every night, about something that happened that day to me that I wish I could change, or something that I saw happen. She used to tell me to live everyday as if it was my last, and always tell people how I truly felt about them before it was too late. She said that sometimes being put in a situation that wasn't unfair, like the death of my parents, was just a test to show how much of a strong person I really was. And I think in the end, it really did." She shivered a little bit. "It's getting cold out. Maybe we should go back."

"Yeah." Mark waited for Maureen to get up out of the swing before wrapping his arm around her waist. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me that."

"I've always trusted you, Marky. I think it was just more of a matter of us learning to trust each other." She kissed his cheek softly and they continued out of the park together, hand in hand.

*                                     *                                     *                                        *

Later that night, as Maureen showered in the guest bathroom, Mark picked up the phone and dialed Scarsdale. His mother picked up on the second ring, and her excitement that her long lost son had finally called her for once was practically causing the phone itself to glow. 

_"Mark, is that really you? Do you have any idea what time it is?"_

"Yeah Mom, I know. I just wanted to call to tell you I love you."

_"Is everything okay? You're not in trouble with the law, are you, sweetheart?"_

"No, I'm in Chicago with Maureen for the weekend—"

"Maureen! I thought she was a lesbian! Mark, what's going on? Are you sure everything's—" 

  
"Everything's fine, Mom. Really. I just wanted to call and tell you that."

_"Well okay. I love you too."_

"I'll call you when I get back to the city, okay? Goodnight."

_"Okay, honey. I'll talk to you then. Night."_

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Don't forget to review. =]


	34. Heat of the Night

CHAPTER 34

A/N: Sorry about the lack in updates for this chapter. I haven't been home much lately or had time to write. Enjoy & thanks for the reviews!!

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MAY 12th, 1998

12:15 AM

"Mark? Sweetie?"

Maureen yawned and tied her robe around her waist and placed her feet into her slippers. She sniffed the air and smiled. "Babe, what are you cooking?" There was still no answer. "Mark?"

She checked the alarm clock next to the bed they shared. It was a little after midnight, and Mark had left for the airport over an hour ago to pick up Roger. He had gotten a red eye flight in from Los Angeles and was finally on his way home from rehab. Maureen must have been half asleep then. Mark couldn't be making anything in the kitchen. Then what was that smell?

Jen was still living in her apartment uptown with Abby, and as far as Maureen knew, she was making no arrangements to move back into the loft anytime soon. So for the time being, it had just been her and Mark alone in the loft, with Collins and Logan occasionally visiting from downstairs. But tonight she couldn't help but feel a little lonely. Maureen had gotten so used to having Mark asleep next to her for the past few weeks that it was a little weird to have him gone, even just to pick up Roger. 

Maureen pulled open the bedroom door and cringed at the foul smell. Entering the living room, she started coughing automatically. The room was thick with smoke, making it hard for her to breathe or see much of anything. 

"Shit!" she cursed. She waved the smoke out of her face and dashed into the kitchen. She didn't see any fire, any source of where the smoke was coming from. But then again, the smoke was so thick she **couldn't** see anything. Maureen dashed back into her and Mark's bedroom and grabbed his camera—the only thing she could make out in the jumbled pile of laundry that was spread in piles around the floor. Without thinking twice, she then ran into Roger's bedroom and pulled out his notebook of lyrics from the top shelf of his closet as well as a photo album of pictures. She knew it was stupid—after all, you were supposed to get yourself out and not go back for anything at all in a fire, but these were things that mattered the most to them both. Maureen couldn't even comprehend what was really going on. **Was** the building on fire?

Maureen coughed and opened the loft door, practically sliding down the four flights of metal stairs to the street level. It surprised the hell out of her at the scene she saw right before her eyes. There was mass confusion everywhere, and tenants were gathered on the streets, huddled in their pajamas and bathrobes just like she was. When she had safely reached the bottom and placed the items she had grabbed aside, she looked up and covered her mouth in shock. The whole right side of the building, from the roof to the very beginning of the second floor was engulfed in flames. It was spreading like an inferno to the middle of the building. No wonder why she had started to smell the smoke, even though the loft was located on the fourth floor and very far left of the apartment building. 

"God," she muttered. "Hey, Maura!"

Maura Bennett, their neighbor from the third floor, ran over to Maureen and latched onto her arm. "Jesus Maureen, are you okay? I didn't even think you were home tonight! I thought you went to the airport with Mark!"

Maureen shook her head. "No, I was really tired so I fell asleep early. I'm just glad I woke up. What—how did this start?"

Maura shrugged and huddled closer to Maureen in the cool May night. "They haven't told me anything. All I know is that it has something to do with the old elevator shaft at the end of the building. They think it's electrical, but the fire department hasn't gotten here yet. Everyone's just been trying to get out. A lot of people aren't even home tonight."

"Collins!"

Maura glanced over at the professor and Logan as they dashed across the street. Collins immediately embraced the two women and Logan settled his hands on Maureen's shoulders. 

"What the hell is going on?" Collins asked, concerned. "Everything was fine when I left at seven tonight. When did this happen?"

"We don't know," Maureen spoke. "Is everyone out of the building?"

"I think so," Maura added. She rested her head on Logan's chest and he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I don't understand—the building inspections just passed last month. Everything was supposed to be okay."

"Are we even covered for insurance?" Collins asked quietly. He then erupted in laughter and covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh, that's really not funny."

"No, it isn't!" Maureen raised her voice and stamped her slippered foot on the pavement. "I can't believe you're joking about something like this!"

"Well, he does have a small point," Maura added in. "I know for sure that Jake and I are covered for insurance, but Benny might just have a great big lawsuit on his hands if he hasn't insured the rest of the apartments…"

"You think Benny's that stupid to leave a major detail like that out?" Logan questioned.

Collins and Maureen started laughing and nodded. "With Benny, you never know," Collins replied. 

"Okay, this really isn't funny!"

"No, it's not," Maura said seriously. "I just hope everyone's okay. I mean, I don't know half of the people that live in this building, but still."

Collins wrapped his arm around Maura's shoulder and kissed her forehead. "I know. It'll be okay."

Just as the fire department's trucks rounded the corner of 11th Street and Avenue B, sirens blaring, a cab pulled up alongside the curb and Mark and Roger's forms appeared from it. 

"Hey!" Collins hollered over. "You believe this?"

Roger ran over and placed his duffel bag and guitar case onto the ground and started at the building openmouthed. "You've got to be fucking shittin' me. I come home to this?"

"You and me both," Maureen mumbled. "Apparently it just started right after Mark left to get you at the airport."

"Hey pretty boy, how was the Sunshine State?" Maura interjected. She had sat down on the curb next to Logan and was watching the scene unfold. 

Roger, still shocked, sat down next to her. "I guess it was okay. Glad to be—home? Wherever that is now."

Maureen huffily sat down next to him and slapped his notebook into his chest. "I saved that for you. Welcome home." She pointed behind her and sighed. "Your camera's over there, pookie."

Mark laughed and sat down next to her, pulling her close into him. "Thanks. I think. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Yeah, me too."

Roger shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Does Jen know about this?"

"No idea," Maureen spoke up. "Where'd Collins go?"

"To get some bubbly," he retorted back. He had returned to the group with a full bottle of champagne and was attempted to pry the cork out of it. "We'll be here for awhile. One of our neighbors offered it to me."

"This is **really** not supposed to be an amusing situation," Maureen groaned.

"In case you haven't taken a look around, Mo, we're not such ordinary people," Maura shrugged. "Pass me that bottle, Collins. I'll drink to Roger coming home."

"I'll probably give you bad luck for the rest of your life, but whatever works," Roger grinned. "Anyone up to staying at a hotel for the night?"

"Yeah, and who's paying?" Maureen whined. "I need a goddamn drink."

"Then have one!" 

*                                                *                                 *                                      * 

2:05 AM

Jen pulled a gray tee shirt on over her white tank top and black pajama pants and ran her fingers through her shoulder length dark brown hair. Whoever was pounding on her apartment door at this hour was obviously very impatient and frankly, it was starting to piss her off. She had gone to bed about three hours before with the worst case of heartburn and plus, it was stifling hot in the apartment. 

There was more pounding on the door and Jen bent down carefully to pick up the pillow she had knocked off her bed when she had first woken up. Groaning, she looked down at her small belly and realized that in another two months maximum, she'd no longer be able to get up and sit back down quickly. She'd be five months pregnant in three days, and she didn't know where the time had gone.

"I'm coming!" she shouted. "God."

She then made her way into the living room and unlatched the door and deadbolt, only to surprisingly find Roger, Mark, and Maureen standing on her doormat. Maureen was still in her pajamas and slippers, Mark was holding his camera and a blanket, and Roger was holding two bags of food. All three looked exhausted.

"I'm home!" Roger said cheerily, leaning over to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"I can see that," she laughed. "But it's two in the morning. I thought you'd come by sometime tomorrow. What's up with all of you?"

Mark groaned and shut the door behind everyone as he set his camera and the blanket on the table. "Long story short, our apartment building burned down."

Jen blinked and stared at him. "**What?! **Like burned to the **ground** burned down? Oh my god!"

Maureen rested her head against Mark's shoulders. "Not burned to the ground, but—it doesn't look too good."

"Turn on channel five. It's all over the news," Mark added in. "Reporters were everywhere."

"Like Alexi Darling," Roger snorted. He had gone into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water and was now resting up against the counter.

"Who's Alexi Darling?" Jen yawned. 

"Some snobby reporter type that tried to get Mark sucked into a contract a few years back," Maureen giggled. "She was so annoying."

"I bet." Jen flipped through channels on her television and sure enough, once she landed on channel five, there was a live news report broadcasting from the scene. "Oh, wow."

"_…reporting live from the scene, we now take you to Mary Ellis, who is located on the corner of 11th Street and Avenue B. Mary?"_

A blonde reporter in a tracksuit came over the screen, covering her one ear. _"Thanks, Ted! As you can see, the scene in front of me has quickly died down over the past twenty minutes, but crews are still working around the clock to put this blaze out. For those that are just tuning in at this hour, a massive fire located in this apartment building to my left broke out sometime before midnight, causing panic amongst the residents. The facts that we have gathered over the past hour pinpoint to the fire as having started in an abandoned elevator shaft from the electrical wiring on the roof. It spread quickly down the entire right side, gradually spreading to the left. As you can see now, there is not much left to the right of this building besides the framework of these once luxurious East Village apartments—"_

"Luxurious? The fuck?" Roger said loudly.  
  


"Shh! Don't wake Abby," Jen scolded him. "Wait, I want to hear the rest of it."

"…and the left side is somewhat more intact. However, these buildings are far from becoming livable again any time soon! We're asking everyone at this time to remain calm, and to head downtown to the local homeless shelter where the Red Cross has been set up to provide residents with temporary shelter. Back to you in the studios, Ted."

"They didn't say when they're letting us back in, are they?" Maureen asked.

Jen shook her head. "No. They just said they'd keep us posted. I can't believe this. You guys just crash here for now. Where are Collins and Logan? And Maura?"

"Collins is staying at Logan's apartment, and Maura is staying at the firehouse with Jake until they get something figured out," Roger answered. "I wonder how much of our stuff is gone."

"God Roger, shut up. Just be thankful that everyone's okay!" Maureen yelled at him. "Ugh, I'm going to bed. Night, Jen. Thanks for letting us stay." She stalked off to the guest bedroom at the end of the hall and closed the door behind her.

"I guess—okay, I better go see what's up with her," Mark sighed. "I'll see you in the morning guys."

"Night Marky."

"Night Mark," Roger said.

Jen crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. "You look different."

"Good different or bad different?"

"Good. Your hair's lighter and you're tanner. Did you and Wes go surfing?"

Roger grinned. "Yeah, actually we did. We had a lot of fun in LA. Minus the whole reason I had to be there in the first place, but we had a pretty good time. And I'm clean."

"That's great." Jen walked over to the wall and adjusted the air conditioning, dropping it from seventy-one to sixty-nine. "I'm really proud of you."

"Yeah. I guess I'm kind of proud of myself too. If that makes any sense. I missed you."

"I missed you too." Jen wrapped her arms around his stomach and rested her head against his chest. "We all did. I'm just really glad you're okay now. No more drugs. No more fights. Just us, okay?"

"Just us." He kissed the top of her head and lifted her shirt up. "Wow girl, what the hell's been going on in there since I left?"

"I've gotten…bigger?" Jen giggled.

"You had to take your bellybutton ring out?"

"Yeah. My stomach's stretching. There's not a point in keeping it in. I'll just get it repierced if I have to when the baby's born," she told Roger.

"I missed a lot."

Jen shook her head and laughed. "Not if you count the end of my morning sickness, Abby's tantrums, and lots of heartburn as missing a lot."

"Too much info, thanks," he teased her. "Hey, you're what? Five months by now? Did you find out what we're having yet?"

_What we're having**. **_Jen smiled to herself and shook her head. "Not yet. I've gotten some newer sonogram pictures since then, but when they asked me if I wanted to know what I was having two weeks ago I told them no. I sort of thought we'd be able to go together, maybe?"

"Yeah. Yeah!" Roger's face lit up at the thought of this. "We could definitely do that."

"Okay?" she laughed. "You're a little weird today, all things considered."

"Are you trying to say I'm always weird?" he laughed. "Thanks."

Jen rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen, pulling a few pictures out of one of the counter drawers. She brought them back with her and sat down on the couch next to him. "Here. Take a look at those. They're the newest ones."

Roger glanced at the three black and white photos spread out on his lap and grinned. "I can't really make that much out, but wow. These are great."

"Yeah." Jen glanced over his shoulder and pointed at one of the pictures. "That's one of the baby's arms, and over there is its head and leg. They were taken at seventeen weeks."

Roger handed the pictures back to her and looked up. "You haven't heard from Travis or anyone else, have you?"

"Nope. Haven't even seen or run into one member of the Hungarians since you left. I still don't think many people know I'm pregnant, and those that do either think it's yours or know the situation and are going along with everything."

"Okay, good."

"Hey, but eventually, he's going to find out," she said softly, taking Roger's hand in her own. "And someday I'm going to have to be okay with Travis knowing."

"No, you really **don't** have to be. I never want him around you or our baby again. You understand that?"

Jen was a little taken aback by Roger's sudden outburst, but nodded all the same. "Yeah. I understand."

"Wanna go to bed then?"

"Sure. I wonder if they put out the fire yet."

Roger shrugged. "I'll find out in the morning. C'mon." He grabbed her hand and started pulling Jen towards the bedroom. She curled up underneath the sheets and watched him undress silently.

"Don't you care, though?"

"Of course I care. There's a ton of our memories lying about in that loft. I care a whole hell of a lot. But I can't do anything about it. Even if I wanted to, they'd never let me in there until they check it out and know it's safe. Plus, I'm way too tired and jetlagged to have it sink in yet," he answered her tiredly. "I bet Mark and Maureen are passed out by now anyway."

"Mark's probably up watching the news in that bedroom," Jen smiled. "That's something he would do."

Roger yawned and crawled in next to her. "I missed you a lot." He wrapped his arm around her and she nuzzled up against him. "Night."

"Night, babe."

A few minutes later, just as Jen started to finally drift off to sleep, a sleepy voice was heard from the doorway.

"Mommy?"

It was Abby, and she spotted Roger and squealed. "Daddy's home!"

"Shh!" Jen yawned. "Yeah, he's home. But he's really tired," she whispered.

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Sure." Abby crawled in between Roger and Jen and shut her eyes.

A few minutes after that, Roger spoke.

"Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"My apartment building just burnt down, didn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"Shit!" Abby repeated. "Mom, Dad said shit."

Roger laughed and kissed Abby on the cheek. "Night, cutie."

"Abby!"

"Shit!"

"Night."

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I know it's been awhile, but please review!!


	35. Revenge

CHAPTER 35

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. This is a short, but important chapter plot wise. 

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May 19th 

Maureen groaned and reached her hand over onto the nightstand. The familiar ring tone of her cell phone was playing annoying loud for ten o' clock in the morning and she wanted nothing more than to toss it out the window. Instead, she sat up and pressed the 'talk' button impatiently.

"Hello?"

_"Maureen? Hi, how are you? It's Joanne."_

"Oh, wow. Hi." Puzzled, she tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear. "I've been okay. Yourself?"

"I've been pretty good. Collins phoned me last week and told me about the fire in your apartment building. How are you holding up?"

"Okay. My apartment was completely destroyed. The fire spread to it right away. It's pretty much unsalvageable. I'm getting an insurance check sometime in the next two weeks though to cover the costs."

_"Well that's something I guess. Listen, the reason I called is to tell you that I'll be in town on the 23rd to visit my parents and I was wondering if we could get together for lunch. I told you I'm in the process of moving back to the city, right?"_

"Yeah, you mentioned it to me when I saw you last. When are you moving back?"

"First week of July. I'm starting to ship a bunch of my things to my parent's house in Staten Island so they can store it there for me. I'm getting a townhouse somewhere near Central Park."

"That sounds great." Maureen heard Mark's voice in the living room, and knew that he was done with his shower. "I better go. I have to start—grocery shopping."

_Joanne laughed. "Uh, okay. I'll call you when we get closer to the weekend, sound good?"_

"That's fine," Maureen answered. "I'll talk to you then."

"Bye."

"Bye." Maureen ended the call and placed the phone on vibrate. Mark opened the bedroom, walking in with just a pair of boxers on.

"You're up?" he smiled. "Who was on the phone?"

"No one," she lied. "And I'm not up for long. I'm going back to sleep."

He pulled a tee shirt on over his head before sitting down near her feet. "What for? It's nice out."

"It'll still be nice out when I wake up again," she mumbled, pressing her face into the pillow. 

"Who was on the phone?"

"God Mark, don't you understand the word sleep?" Maureen shot back, irritated. "Why does it matter?"

"Why don't you just tell me?" he laughed.

"It was Joanne."

There was a temporary silence.

"What did she want?"

Maureen flipped onto her back and rolled her eyes. "See? You always have to get so defensive whenever I talk about her or she calls. She just wanted to meet up with me for lunch this weekend."

"You're going then?"

"It's lunch, Mark! Just lunch."

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" he glared at her. "Maybe you should go back to sleep and wake up in a better mood."

"Whatever. You just need to stop controlling me."

He kicked the pile of dirty laundry aside. "I'm not trying to fucking control you. It's just weird that you're going out to eat with your ex girlfriend again after all this time of not hearing a damn word from her in Seattle."

"See? That's you trying to control me right there."

"Fine. I'm going out."

"Good."

"Yeah, just great." He shut the bedroom door loudly and Maureen groaned once more, burying her head under the sheets.

*                                     *                                    *                                   * 

Roger yawned and stepped into the living room. He stretched and walked past the couch, where Abby was laying down watching early morning cartoons. 

"Morning, kiddo," he grinned. "You're up early."

"You're up late," Abby giggled. "Mommy's sleeping?"

"Yup. She's tired."

"Okay."

He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured himself a glass of orange juice. "Is Aunt Mo still sleeping?"

"Nope. Out. Uncle Mark is out too. But not with Aunt Mo."

Not a good sign right there. Roger took a sip of the juice and sat down next to his daughter on the couch. "What are you watching?"

"Scooby," she answered simply. "Mommy watches it with me every morning."

"Cool."

"Where were you going?"

Roger stared down at her and shrugged his shoulders. "What do you mean? I'm right here."

"Before!" she laughed. "Mommy said you had to go away for a lil' while. How come?"

Oh shit. He didn't know where to start, or how to even explain to a four year old that he had made some bad judgment calls in the past and had to pay the consequences for him. It would be setting a **great** example if he just told her that her father was an ex druggie who had to travel halfway across the country because that was the only way to get "better." Abby was too young to even understand what drugs were still.

"Well…" Roger quickly thought how to explain this to her, simple enough so that she could understand. "I was really sick, so I had to leave for a little bit to get better."

"Couldn't Mommy just give you medicine and chicken noodle soup? And make you stay in bed?" Abby asked, staring up at him with her blue eyes. "She does that for me."

"I was a little too sick for that to work. I had to go somewhere else so the doctors could make me better."

"Did they give you soup and read to you?" she questioned.

"Yeah, they did."

"Oh." Abby focused on the television again, watching the commercials. "You love Mommy?"

"Of course I do," Roger answered. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going. "Why?"

"If you love her a lot—" Abby made a circle with her arms. "Then how come you left her for real long?"

He ran his fingers through his blonde hair and sighed. "I didn't have a choice."

"You're gonna go away again?" Abby crawled into Roger's lap and rested her head on his chest. Roger then ran his fingers through her blonde hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Not right now, no. But one day I'm going to go away again, but it's not your fault. And it's not Mommy's. I love you both so much, okay? It's not gonna be your fault."

"Okay, Daddy."

Roger stood up off the couch then and filtered through a few pieces of mail from yesterday. He realized that the insurance check for the loft had come earlier than expected. He tore into it and knew that it was enough to cover a new place's rent and then some. Perfect. He glanced up at the clock and realized that it was almost twelve. He had practice with the guys at one—the first one since the incident with Jen. Travis was no longer in the band, and instead, Roger's brother Joey had taken over as guitarist.

"You gonna be okay in here for awhile while I take a shower?"

"Yup! Just gonna watch cartoons."

"Okay."

*                                           *                                         *                                   *

Forty-five minutes later, Jen stretched and walked out of her bedroom and into the living room. It was eerily quiet. The television wasn't on, which was unusual. She figured that Roger must have left for band practice, Abby was taking a nap, Maureen was out, and Mark was still at work. Empty apartment. Pretty weird these days. 

She passed into the kitchen to get a glass of water. It wasn't so weird for Abby to put herself down for a nap lately. She had been doing it for the last few months. She'd watch television, get tired, and go to her bedroom to sleep for an hour or so. Jen was pretty comfortable with it. But still, once she had poured the glass of water she walked over to Abby's bedroom and opened the door. Only Abby wasn't in her bed. It was still unmade from the night before.

Jen spun around and walked over to the bathroom. No Abby there either. "Abby?"

She opened the patio doors and checked the balcony. Sometimes Abby liked to sit outside if it was nice, although Jen didn't allow her to do that too often. However, the four year old lately had a mind of her own. 

"Abby, sweetie? Where are you, baby?" Jen set down the water on the coffee table and couldn't help her heart from beating fast. She didn't want to panic, but she didn't see Abby anywhere. "Abby Nicole, this isn't funny. Come out right now or you're in big trouble."

_Nothing._ "Shit." Jen tore through the whole apartment in a panic, looking everywhere for Abby, even her new hiding spots. Ten minutes later she was back where she started. No sign of Abby anywhere.

"Abby!" Dammit. Maybe Maureen had taken her out? Or Roger had taken Abby to practice with him. Yeah, that could be it. She ran back into the kitchen to look for a note, but didn't see one in the normal places. She glanced around, picking up the phone with one hand, but then saw something out of the corner of her eye. On the floor by the kitchen sink was a white lined piece of paper. Jen picked it up and scanned it briefly, then let out a scream.

I told you if you told anyone I'd kill you and your daughter. 

_Looks like we got to her first._

_Right out from under Roger's nose, too._

_I sure hope you take long showers as well._

_Stay by the phone. You'll be sure to hear from us. _

_Revenge is sweet, isn't it?_

_But so is ransom._

Jen crumpled to the floor and started sobbing. She reached for the phone and dialed Roger's cell phone. His voice came over the line over the second ring. 

_"Hello?"_

"Roger," she sobbed. "Roger…Roger…"

_"Jen? What's wrong? What the hell's going on?"_

"They took her. He took her. Abby. He took Abby away," she cried hysterically. "Travis has Abby."

*                                           *                                  *                                   *

Review please!


	36. Safe

CHAPTER 36

A/N: Sorry for the wait. Eesh, I know! I've been busy and I know that's not much of an excuse, but real life got in the way. Thanks for all the great reviews, and here's the next chap. It gets a little intense, but enjoy!

*                                         *                                *                                    *

Jen crumpled and uncrumpled the tissue in her hand as the detective's words floated in and out of her ears. She rested her head against Maureen's shoulder and looked around carefully. The first question that came to mind was why. Travis had obviously gotten what he had wanted from her months ago. Why would he take her daughter away?

"Mrs. Davis, cases like these are pretty common, especially in a major metropolitan area like—"

"It's Miss Walsh. I'm not married."

"My mistake, I assumed from the last name of Abby and Mr. Davis—"

"You assumed wrong."

Maureen cleared her throat. "Jen, sweetie, how about we go out on the fire escape and get a little bit of air, hmm?"

"My daughter just got kidnapped. I'd rather not," Jen said testily. "I want a cigarette. Can you please get Roger's pack out of the drawer and bring me his lighter?"

"You can't smoke."

"I can too and I will."

Maureen sighed and got up to get the cigarettes. She brought them back instantly. "Mark should be home soon. He goes on lunch hour soon."

Jen nodded. Mark always came home on lunch. No matter how busy he was, he always came home on lunch hour.

The apartment door opened and slammed quickly. Roger ran over to Jen and kneeled in front of her, wrapping his arms around her. "Hey. I got here as soon as I could."

"Not soon enough," Jen mumbled under her breath, pulling away from him. She got up and walked out onto the fire escape, slamming the door behind her. 

Roger lit up a cigarette and threw the lighter onto the coffee table forcefully. It hit the wood and slid off, ending up somewhere near the wall. "Maureen, I swear to fucking god if she's going to pull shit like this with me I'll—"

"You'll what?" Maureen asked, slightly amused in the seriousness of the situation. "Can't divorce her. You're not married. Yet. Nor are you engaged. Yet. The worst you can do is throw a temper tantrum and recede into the Roger shell. Been there, done that, have the souvenirs. Not really interested in going back to that place with you, okay? So let's focus on what we know, and what we don't know."

"Yeah. Fuck." He got up and walked out onto the fire escape, where Jen was sitting in a chair, smoking, with tears running down her face. "Jen?"

"What."

"Look, I didn't do anything wrong, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't take that…Jen tone of voice with me."

"Fuck you."

Roger sighed and pulled a chair over, taking the cigarette out of her lips. She angrily hit him in the shoulder—his bad one. "Christ!" he winced. "Fine. Fucking take it back. Act like a two year old."

"Oh no Roger. I'll fucking act whatever age I want to. My daughter is out somewhere with a deranged serial rapist!"

"Travis isn't a serial rapist." Roger crushed out his cigarette and groaned. "And for the last fucking time, she's our daughter!"

"Then what the fuck do you call what he did to me? Because I didn't ask for it Roger, and you fucking know that. I said no, dammit. I said no!" 

By now Jen was standing over Roger with tears pouring down her face. Roger was staring at the ground, playing with the cigarette butt. "I know."

"Then why would he take her?"

"I just…really don't think he would."

"How can you say that?" Jen sobbed. "He's a fucking lunatic."

"No, he's a stoner with an eight year old daughter."

Jen paused and lit up her second cigarette in fifteen minutes. "A what?"

"He has an eight year old daughter. Melanie. She was born when he was eighteen."

She sat back down and crossed her arms over her chest. "I hope he doesn't have custody of her."

Roger blew out the smoke and wrapped his arm around Jen's waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Actually…he does. He's had custody of her ever since she was born. His girlfriend died of some infection two weeks after Melanie was born. So…you see why I'm saying that he wouldn't take her? Yeah, Travis has a lot of problems that he needs to get help, and is getting help for, but he cares a lot about his own daughter. He always missed practices to be there for her—for school related shit, for her soccer games, for everything. I know—everyone knows what he did to you was wrong, but there was a time when Travis was a good guy. And he still is, but only around Melanie right now. He wouldn't take her, Jen. Which brings me to think that maybe, it possibly wasn't Travis that raped you."

"What?" Jen shouted at him. 

The door to the fire escape opened and two cops appeared. "Uh, Miss Walsh? Mr. Davis? I think there's been a little bit of a misunderstanding here."

"Mommy!"

Jen stood up in shock as four-year-old Abby came running towards her, all smiles, with a lollipop in her hand. She collided with Jen's knees and hugged her tightly. Jen started crying, harder, when she saw that Abby was safe. "Uncle Marky took me to work with him today! We were in the park for somethin' and it was so much fun!"

Roger picked up Abby and spun her around, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "You scared the hell out of us, princess. Mommy and I thought—it looks like Uncle Marky **forgot** to leave a **note** telling us that he was taking you today." He stepped back inside with Abby, shooting a look at Mark, who was standing sheepishly by the front door. 

The detective sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, obviously a little perturbed at the situation, but happy that the little girl had been returned safely. "All right, Mr. Cohen. Care to explain yourself?"

Mark nodded. "Well, my girlfriend and I ended up getting into a fight this morning—"

"Hi, that would be me, Maureen Johnson," Maureen smiled brightly at the detective. 

Mark shot her a glare and continued. "Anyway, I was pretty angry, so I stormed out of the apartment and took off down the street, trying to cool off. It was about ten thirty when I left. I came back, and Maureen had fallen back asleep, Jen was still sleeping, and Roger was in the shower. I remembered that there was a documentary about theater being filmed in Central Park today, so I figured that since Abby told me she was bored when I walked back in to get ready for work, that I'd take her with me. And I did leave a note, on Abby's bed, because I knew that would be the first place that Jen would look."

Abby squirmed out of Roger's arms and ran into her bedroom, returning with a piece of paper. "Here, Mommy! On the floor!"

Jen took the note, and sure enough it said:

Jen, 

Took Abby to work with me today. We're filming in the park and I think she'd like it. Be back around one thirty.

_--Mark_

"Okay, now I feel really stupid," Jen sighed. "The window was open in Abby's room. The wind must have blown it off."

"Wait a minute," the detective interrupted. "Even though Mr. Cohen's story clears with me, that doesn't explain this ransom note." He then held up the original note that threatened to take Abby away, and everyone glanced around the room at each other uncomfortably.

"What? What's that? I wanna see!" Abby shouted out.

*                                    *                                    *                                           *

Short, I know, but please review! Next part will be up MUCH sooner!

Next up: The ransom note is explained, and Jen decides to move out of the city with Abby—with or without Roger. Also, Mark and Maureen decide on something very important that affects the future of their relationship.


	37. Baby Fever

I know it's been awhile, but I'd still really appreciate reviews! They make me smile and motivate me to write more. =]

* * *

_June 1st_

Jen stirred slightly, lifting Abby's head off her chest carefully. The four year old had climbed into bed with Roger and Jen earlier that night, and with the kidnapping scare that had happened the week before, Jen didn't ever want to let Abby out of her sight again.

Roger was snoring slightly, his right arm draped off the bed. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair softly. He didn't stir.

Quietly, Jen swung her legs over the side of the bed and pressed her feet against the wood floor. She knew what she had to do, and she had to do it quick, without anyone catching her and trying to change her mind.

Jen was leaving New York City with Abby.

In all honesty, it wasn't a complete spontaneous decision. She had been giving a lot of thought to it over the past few weeks. With nothing really working out with Roger, with his affair with Beth, with the fire at the loft…Jen needed to get away. She didn't want to raise Abby here. The "ransom" note still remained a mystery, but Jen didn't want to take any chances. Too much had happened in the seven months since she had come back to New York City, and the bad was starting to outweigh the good.

She had called the airline earlier in the day and booked two tickets on a flight to Los Angeles for seven in the morning. Now it was just a matter of packing some things to take temporarily and sending for the rest when she arrived. So far, Maureen was the only person who knew what Jen was up to, and absolutely refused to let her travel all the way to California by herself. The condo she was going to be staying in was owned and had been lived in by Jen's grandparents until they retired to a smaller place in West Hollywood. For now, it was just kept for any family members passing through when they visited. Jen had never been to the condo, but when she and Maureen looked the floor plan for the place up the next day on the Internet, they realized it was pretty suitable. It had three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a spacious living room, a full kitchen and dining room, two walk in closets, and a private balcony with a great view of the ocean. It was perfect. Abby and the baby could have separate bedrooms.

Quietly, she tiptoed out into the living room, making sure not to make any of the floorboards creak.

_"Don't do it."_

Jen jumped. "Jesus Christ Mark, what are you doing up?"

He looked up at her from the couch. There was something small in his hand, but Jen couldn't make it out. "Thinking."

"Oh."

"Don't go to Los Angeles."

Jen sighed and sat down next to him. "That's not your decision. Please don't ask me that."

"Did you talk to Roger about this?"

She shook her head. "No. He doesn't know." She started tracing the pattern on her pajama pants. "I don't want Abby to grow up here. Not in the city. Not in Scarsdale. I can still work for the same magazine I do now in California. I'll just be on the West Coast branch. I'd be living in my grandparent's condo."

"Yeah, but who would watch Abby during the day? Or help you take care of the baby? Around here you have five babysitters willing to watch her with one phone call."

"I don't know Mark! How did you find out about this anyway?"

"Maureen. Except she didn't really willingly tell me, I got it out of her."

"Oh." Jen glanced down at the square object Mark's hand. "What is that?"

"I've been thinking about asking Maureen to marry me."

Jen rested her head against Mark's shoulder. "I think you should."

Mark nodded. "You know, if she was still pregnant, she would be five and a half months. We would have been able to find out what we were having."

"I'm sorry, Mark."

He opened the ring box and handed it to Jen. Inside was a princess cut diamond ring on a gold band. Simple, but beautiful. There were even two topaz jems on the side of the diamond. It was completely Maureen.

"Oh Mark, you shouldn't have," Jen joked, batting her eyelashes. "It's gorgeous. She'll love it."

"You think so? I had Roger help me pick it out."

"Uh oh," she replied. "He's been telling me for the past month that I'm supposed to be getting an engagement ring."

"I'm sworn to secrecy. Scouts honor or else," Mark laughed. "Do you…know what you're having yet?"

She handed the ring box back to Mark and smiled. "Yeah."

"I thought Roger was supposed to go with you when you found out?"

"He was. But I was at my doctor's last week, and I just wanted to know. It was a spontaneous thing, I guess."

"Don't leave me in suspense here."

Jen rested her hands in her lap and grinned. "You have to promise you won't tell anyone. Not a soul. Got it?"

"Of course."

"A boy."

"Roger's going to have a field day," Mark laughed, hugging Jen tightly. "Congratulations."

"I just hope Abby takes it well. She said it didn't matter as long as she got to play with it," Jen smiled. "Which is cool."

"Definitely." Mark looked up at her and smiled. "I'm not going to try to make you stay, but I know that Maureen's going to need a maid of honor and a flower girl."

Jen nodded. "I can always credit those airline tickets, and my condo isn't going anywhere."

"See? I knew you would stay for me," Mark teased. He kissed her cheek before standing up. "I'm proposing to her tomorrow. I have this whole thing worked out."

"I know she'll say yes."

"I hope so. I know things have been rough between us lately."

"Don't worry. They can't possibly be any rougher then how things are between me and Roger sometimes."

* * *

_June 2nd_

Maureen tapped her foot impatiently against the carpeted waiting room of her doctor's office. She had already been waiting here for over twenty minutes, and didn't understand what the hold up was. She was just here about test results from her last routine checkup the week before.

She hadn't been very healthy since her miscarriage in February. First she came down with strep throat, and then it had been bronchitis, and then the stomach flu, twice. Then it was a regular head cold last week, which had prompted her to come in because she was so congested. The receptionist had called and asked her to come in to discuss test results, so Maureen assumed they were just going to prescribe another medication for her to take. She hoped she could get out of her by three, because Mark was taking her out late that night—somewhere "secret". She had no idea, but was looking forward to finding out. She knew it wasn't to celebrate their anniversary, so Maureen couldn't imagine why he could be taking her out.

"Maureen?"   
  
"That's me." 

The nurse nodded and Maureen quickly followed her down the corridor and into a spacious exam room. "If you could have a seat, the doctor will be in with you shortly."

"Thanks."

Not even five minutes later, Dr. Martin, a petite brunette woman in her late thirties appeared with a smile. She closed the door behind her and set her clipboard down. "Hi Maureen. Thanks for coming in."

"No problem. Is everything okay? I was told I'm here for some test results?" Maureen twisted a piece of her hair nervously.

"Yes, but don't worry. Now according to my notes, you miscarried your first pregnancy towards the end of January?"

Maureen nodded. "Yes."

"Well the reason I called you in here today, Maureen, was because when we ran those tests last week, they returned with a very high hCG level."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means."

Dr. Martin smiled and sat down. "HCG is a pregnancy hormone found in the bloodstream, and we discovered this in your blood test."

Maureen's jaw dropped and she stopped playing with the piece of her hair. "What does…what are you saying?"

"Maureen…you're pregnant. About eleven weeks along."

She paled. "Pregnant? But isn't it too soon? I miscarried."

"Yes, but these things can happen. Conception probably took place a few weeks after your miscarriage."

"Are you…sure?"

Dr. Martin nodded. "Yes, I am, but I'd like to do an ultrasound today to verify and see how things are progressing. How have you been feeling in the mornings?"

"Well I've been feeling tired, but not really so nauseous, is that normal? Some of my clothes have gotten tighter, but…are you really sure I'm pregnant? I can't believe this!" Maureen laughed. "I never expected this."

The doctor handed Maureen a gown. "Sometimes woman go through a pregnancy with little to no morning sickness. I'll have the ultrasound set up in a few minutes, but for now, change in to that and I'll be right back."

"Sure." Maureen started to undress. She couldn't believe this! She was pregnant, again? What would Mark say? She could just picture the look on his face right now. No wonder she had been feeling so crummy and her clothes hadn't been fitting right. In fact, her favorite pair of jeans barely fit anymore, and she **had** gained some weight. But through all the things that ran through her mind, Maureen smiled with excitement.

The doctor returned quickly, and within five minutes, she was moving the wand over Maureen's abdomen.

"Hmm."

Maureen looked at the screen. "What's wrong?"

Dr. Martin smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just trying to get a good position. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay. Does everything look okay?"

"I'd say everything looks more then okay. It looks like there are two fetuses. Which can certainly explain your excess tiredness and quick weight gain."

Maureen sat up in shock. "Pardon?"

Dr. Martin pointed to the ultrasound screen. "Here. There's one, and right over here is number two. It's very clear to me that you're having twins, Maureen."

"Twins?!"

The doctor laughed and rested a hand on Maureen's arm. "Yes. Twins. Now, there is a test I'd like to run on you today. It's called an alphfetoprotein test and measures the protein created by the fetal liver, or in your case, livers. If this test comes back with a high measurement of this protein in your bloodstream, it can be safe to say that you are pregnant with twins, but I will follow up that test with another ultrasound."

"So how positive are you that I'm having twins?" Maureen glued her eyes to the ultrasound screen, where she almost couldn't believe what the doctor was saying. First, she was surprisingly pregnant again, and then there was a high chance that she could be having **twins**? Mark would pass out when she told him for sure, and she would probably join him.

"I'm pretty positive, Maureen. I've done ultrasounds on many women who have been pregnant with multiple babies."

"…Okay."

"I'd like you to take that test today and schedule the second ultrasound for next week, okay?"

Maureen nodded. "Uh huh."

* * *

Around nine o'clock the same day, Mark and Maureen were well on their way towards the place of Maureen's "surprise." The cab ride had been silent, with Maureen just loosely holding Mark's hand and staring out the window. Mark was worried about her, but nervous, and kept feeling around in his pocket for the ring box.

The cab skidded to a halt, and Mark quickly helped Maureen out of the cab. "You have to close your eyes."

She nodded with a smile. "Okay." She shut her eyes obediently and allowed Mark to help her towards their destination. As long as she wasn't expected to talk for a few minutes, Maureen was able to think. She was pregnant. Again. With twins. Two. Not one baby, but two. She was having a hard time digesting the news herself. How was Mark going to take it? Yes, they both had jobs—but paying for two babies was expensive. How the hell were they going to afford everything? They'd have to find their own place to live and could no longer live with Jen in her apartment. They just wouldn't be able to fit.

Maureen had learned that her due date was expected to be the day before Christmas Eve, although the doctor had told her that often, twins could be born weeks earlier and sometimes by cesarean section. So many thoughts ran through her mind that she was surprised when Mark told her to open her eyes. She did so, and immediately covered her mouth in shock.

They were standing on the stage of the Gershwin Theater. It was entirely empty, except for a small white table set in the middle of the stage underneath the spotlight. On top it had two tall candles and the tablecloth was sprinkled with rose petals—a favorite of Maureen's.

"Marky…what is all of this for? It's beautiful."

"Sit down first."

She nodded and sat down. "Okay."

Mark cleared his throat and started pacing back and forth in front of the table. "I just uh…I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately. And I love you, Maureen. I wake up in the mornings and just watch you sleep and think how lucky I am that we gave this—**us**—a second chance. Everything we've been through, good or bad, has brought us closer together this time around." He hesitated for a moment, and then walked over to her and got down on one knee.

Maureen sharply breathed in and felt her eyes start to water. "Oh my god, Mark…"

"I don't know how else to say this without sounding like a complete moron, but I love you, Maureen. Even if we have nothing but each other, I'll still always love you." He took the ring box out of his pocket and held the ring in front of her hand. "Will you marry me?"

She nodded and started crying, hard. She could barely get the words out. "Yes. Yes." She kissed him softly and allowed him to slide the ring on her finger before wrapping her arms around his neck. "Now I think you need to sit down. I have something to tell you."

He nodded and sat down, grinning at her from across the table. "Okay, Mrs. Cohen."

Maureen started playing with the champagne glass in front of her nervously. "I went to the doctor today."

"Yeah, I remembered you saying you had an appointment. Everything okay?"

She nodded. "You could say that."

"And?"

Maureen swallowed, taking a sip of the champagne nervously. "I'm pregnant."

Mark smiled proudly and stood up in excitement. "Really? That's great! Do you know what we're having yet? We're going to have to get our own place." He pulled Maureen up and out of her seat and started twirling her around.

"Mark," she giggled. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact that my gorgeous fiancée just told me we're going to be parents?" he smirked.

"I'm not finished," she laughed nervously. "Are you sure you don't want to sit down for the rest of this?"

"No, I think I can handle it."

"I'm pregnant with twins."

Mark stared at her. "Twins?"

Maureen nodded, biting her lip. "Yeah."

"Wow. I don't know what to say."

"You're mad about this, aren't you? I know, it's going to be a lot of work, and believe me, I was so scared when I found out Mark—"

Mark hugged her gently and ran his fingers through her hair. "It's okay. This is great! You're right, there's going to be twice as much work and things to buy for them, but in the end we're going to get twice as many smiles, hugs, kisses, and laughs. And I think that really pays off in the end. We're going to have to get our own place, and try to plan a wedding, but we can do this. I promise. I'll be here every step of the way."

"Good," Maureen smiled, wiping at her eyes. "Because we have about seven months to go."

* * *

_Midnight_

"Roger…" Jen straddled his lap and rested her chin on his chest. "Wake up."

"Mmph…what time is it?" He opened his eyes and smiled, kissing her quickly. "You're crushing my ribs."

She whacked him with the pillow and crawled off of him. "Thanks a lot."

"Hey, your elbow was in my ribcage. I wasn't saying that you were fat." He rested his hands on her stomach and smiled. "So, what did you wake me up from my nap for?"

"Abby, you can come in now!" Jen called with a smile.

Abby ran into the room with a small gift bag. "Here, Daddy! You got to open it!"

"Okay cutie." Roger lifted her onto the bed and into his lap. Abby tugged on one of her blonde pigtails and giggled. He lifted a square object covered with blue tissue paper out of the bag. "What's this?"

"Open it, duh," Abby giggled again.

Roger obliged and tore the tissue paper off of the square to reveal a blue picture frame with the words "It's a Boy" were scripted onto the edge of the frame. Inside was Jen's latest ultrasound photo at twenty-three weeks.

"We're having a boy," Jen told him softly.

"Yep! I'm gonna have a little brother!" Abby squealed, tackling Roger with a hug. "Mommy says she doesn't know what his name is gonna be yet."

Jen smiled and let Abby sit down in her lap. "What do you think? Now we know exactly what color to paint the nursery, whenever we get started on it."

"I think…wow. I don't know what to say," Roger grinned. "We're going to have a son."

"And me!" Abby smiled, looking up at her parents. "Cool."

"And you. Very cool," Roger agreed, leaning in to give Jen a kiss.

A knock at the door was heard, and then came Mark's voice. "Hey, can we come in? I know it's late."

"Sure!" Abby yelled out. "Come on in, Uncle Marky."

The door opened and Mark and Maureen walked in. Maureen smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed while Abby crawled into her lap.

"Well, we have something to tell you guys," Mark admitted. "Even though it's way past Abby's bedtime."

"Hey!" she protested. "Mommy said I could stay up!"

"Two somethings to tell you," Maureen added with a smile.

"Big somethings?"

Maureen nodded and kissed Abby's forehead. "The biggest."

"Maureen and I are getting married."

"Oh, congratulations!" Jen smiled up at them.

"Yeah, congrats," Roger agreed. "You guys set a date yet?"

"You're one to talk," Jen laughed, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Not…yet," Mark said quickly. "Something came up."

"What do you mean?" Jen asked.

"Well…I'm pregnant again," Maureen gushed. This emitted a giggle from Abby.

"Hello, baby," Abby added, poking Maureen's stomach. "Cool." Maureen laughed and hugged Abby tighter.

Jen got off the bed and gave Maureen a hug. "I can't believe it! That's awesome, you guys."

"Yeah, really. That's great news," Roger said with a grin. "Good work, Mark."

"I wasn't exactly finished," Maureen laughed. "I'm pregnant…but with twins."

"Come again?" Roger coughed. "Twins? **Really** good work, Mark!"

"Babies! Two?!" Abby giggled.

Jen smiled and wrapped her arms around her chest. "Wow…two babies. I can't wait to go shopping for them Mo. You have to come shopping with me too! We can go shopping together!"

"Oh my god, we can! This is going to be great! We can buy things together!"

"Yeah, and toys!" Abby squealed.

Roger and Mark uncomfortably glanced at each other and winced.

"They've officially gotten baby fever," Mark noted with a smirk. "We better run while we still can."

"You can say that again."

* * *

Review please!

Also, I'm taking boy names for Roger and Jen's baby. I already am set on what the names of Mark and Maureen's twins are going to be, so any suggestion for Roger and Jen's baby would be perfect and much appreciated.


	38. Never Leave

* * *

A/N: Once again, sorry for the delay in updating this. Other things and other stories of mine got in the way, but since school is out for the summer (one more year of high school to go for me!) and I'll be working a few days a week, I'll have a lot more time to focus on writing and finishing this up. So expect a few more updates soon!

* * *

_August 30, 1998_

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. I understand. Right."

Jen got up from the couch and eyed Roger on the phone. He shook his head at her and turned away, so she sighed and put the rest of the dishes away from the sink. If he didn't get off the phone now, which he had been on practically the whole morning with several different people, they'd be late for not only the ceremony, but Roger wouldn't even be dressed when his own mother and stepfather arrived. She knew she shouldn't be overreacting, but her lower back was killing her, and had been since the night before.

Mark and Maureen were getting married at an informal ceremony by a Justice of the Peace. Neither one of them was up for planning a huge ordeal, but both wanted to incorporate parts of their religion. Maureen was already into her fifth month of pregnancy, but had managed to still retain her figure somewhat. Up until her fourteenth week, she had been pregnant with twins, but had miscarried one twin in early July, much to her and Mark's disappointment. Mark knew Maureen felt incredibly guilty, like it was her fault, even though he had tried convincing her otherwise. They had many follow up visits with her doctor since then, and she insisted that Maureen and the baby were doing wonderfully. So the ceremony had been set for four o'clock that evening in Central Park, with a reception to follow at a downtown restaurant nearby Times Square, one of Maureen's favorites.

Mark and Maureen hadn't moved out of Jen's apartment **yet**, but had just bought a townhouse home near Central Park, which help from both sets of their parents. Mark's parents weren't too thrilled at the idea that Mark had gotten Maureen pregnant not once, but twice before they were married, even though her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Maureen's parents on the other hand **were** thrilled, and had flown in from Chicago last night, while Mark and Roger's parents were driving in from Scarsdale early this morning.

"Roger! Get off the fucking phone!" Jen shouted at him, slamming the cabinet door shut in the kitchen.

He glared at her. "Yeah, I gotta go. Call me later." He hung up the phone. "What the fuck was that for?"

"You've been on the phone the whole morning, ever since you and I got up. What is honestly so important?"

"I'm just talking to people," he answered her quietly.

Jen rolled her eyes and started walking towards their bedroom. "People? Oh, like Beth? Or hmm, maybe you're going to stick up for Travis some more."

"What is fucking wrong with you today?" he shouted at her.

"Nothing," she muttered. "Everything." She sat down on the edge of the bed. "What if it looks like him?"

"What if what looks like who?" he questioned, unzipping the garment bag that held his tuxedo. He was only half listening to her, the phone conversations still ringing in his ears.

"Never mind," she sighed, managing to lay down in the bed in a somewhat comfortable position, one hand wrapped around her large stomach.

Roger sighed and crawled onto the bed next to her, kissing her softly. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged and rested her head on his shoulder while his own hand rested on her stomach. "What are we going to do if it comes out looking like Travis?"

"It won't," Roger told her sharply. "So don't worry about it."

"But it could."

"But it **won't**," he repeated. "Hey, I have to take a shower. Care to join?"

Jen shook her head. "I think I'm going to try and take a nap before your mom gets here."

"Okay." He kissed her again and smiled. "Holler if you need anything."

"Like you'll hear me over your terrible shower singing? Yeah right," Jen smirked. Roger grinned and not long after, Jen heard the shower running in her bathroom.

Jen curled up onto her side and groaned when she felt what she assumed to be another Braxton-Hicks contraction roll through her. She had about five weeks to go before the baby was born, but at her last doctor's appointment the week before, he had warned her that if she experienced any signs of pre term labor to phone him right away and get herself to the hospital. He was especially worried because of all the stress Jen had put herself through over the past four months and wanted to keep a close eye on her and the baby.

She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, Roger was out of the shower and gelling his hair, his mother standing right next to him.

"It doesn't look bad, Mom," Roger sighed. "It looks fine."

"I don't know," Sandra smirked. "I never understood you and your obsession with different hair colors."

Jen yawned and sat up, rubbing at her lower back. It had been bothering her all throughout the day and didn't see to want to let up any, which meant she'd probably have to sit out most of Mark and Maureen's reception.

"Hi sweetie!" Sandra smiled. "Oh look at you! You look like you're about to pop, and I mean that in the best way possible. How are you feeling?"

Jen made a face and shook her head. "Not so good. My back is killing me and I'm feeling sort of dizzy."

Roger crouched next to her, concerned. "You want me to get you something to drink?"

"Water with ice?"

He nodded and kissed her forehead. "Sure baby."

Sandra leaned over and rested a hand on Jen's forehead. "You're a little warm. How long has your back been bothering you?"

Jen switched her hands over and started rubbing her lower back. "Since late last night, but it hurts like hell now. Just like it was before I had Abby, except it's too early. I'm only thirty-five weeks."

"Well you're eight months pregnant. Do you want me to call your doctor? You might be going into labor without really knowing it yet."

Jen stared at Roger's mother without cracking a smile. Although she loved Sandra to death, this wasn't what she wanted to hear right now. As much as this baby kicked the crap out of her sometimes, she wanted it to stay put. It wasn't too early for it to be born, but it wasn't the right time, not in her opinion, either. Especially not on Mark and Maureen's wedding day. "You're kidding, right?"

Sandra smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm not kidding. Roger's sister Lindsey had her daughter Marissa four weeks early, and she was complaining of back pain and some contractions. I even had Joey two weeks early. Roger was stubborn, though. He didn't want to come out until almost two weeks after his due date. I was huge and miserable, and we had to be in the worst Indian summer Scarsdale had ever seen that year. God, the summer of '71 was hot. Almost as bad as this one turned out to be."

Roger grinned as he entered the bedroom with a glass of ice water. "Talking about me again, Mom?"

She laughed. "Bring the phone in here, honey. Jen might be going into labor."

The color drained out of Roger's face and he gripped the edge of the doorframe. "What?" He glanced over at Jen who but her lip uncomfortably. "Isn't it too early for that?"

"It's better to be safe than sorry," Sandra added. "You better call her doctor and then we'll get you to the hospital sweetie."

Jen groaned. "I ruined Mark and Maureen's day."

"Oh sweetie…no," Sandra said, helping her stand up off of the bed. "They'll understand. I know they will."

"No, I mean I'm not even ready! I just packed my hospital bag two days ago! Roger and Mark finished the baby's room last month! I'm not ready for this yet," Jen said, looking like she was about to cry. "I'm not even married. Again. I always thought I'd be married for my second baby. But I'm not." She started to cry just as Roger walked back into the room with the phone.

"Jen what's wrong?" he asked her. Jen shook her head and instead pressed her head against his chest.

"I think I'm having contractions," she sobbed. "And I ruined Mark and Maureen's wedding day."

Roger shook his head and rubbed her shoulders. "Whoa, you didn't ruin anything at all. Let's get you down to the hospital and see what's going on and whether or not our little guy wants to come out or stay in, okay?"

Jen nodded and finally calmed down enough. "Okay." She shakily took a sip of the water. "You have to call Collins. Abby's with Collins and Logan."

"Don't worry sweetie. We'll take care of everything. Roger, I want you to take Jen's hospital bag down to my car." Sandra handed him the keys with a smile. "I'm going to let Jen get changed and then I'll help her downstairs."

"Yeah," Roger agreed. "You okay for now?"

Jen nodded. "Take my phone and call Mark and Collins while you're down there. Tell them that we don't know if this is the real thing or a false alarm yet."

"Got it."

* * *

By noon, Roger, Jen, and Sandra arrived at the hospital and had managed to get Jen checked in. The nurse wheeled her right upstairs to a private room in the maternity ward while Roger made the phone calls from Jen's cell phone. Mark and Maureen were on their way, but Collins and Logan were going to keep Abby at their apartment until the doctors were sure whether or not Jen was in labor.

Roger squeezed Jen's hand and kissed her forehead lightly as her obstetrician finished examining her.

"Well Jen," Dr. Myers sighed, rolling back on his chair slightly. "You were right to come in today. You're in active labor right now. I know at our appointment last week we discussed premature labor, and I can give you drugs to stop the labor, but at this point, I doubt they'll be able to hold you over any longer than a few days to a week at most, because it seems like this little boy wants to come out and say hello," the doctor smiled. "You or the baby aren't in any immediate distress. Your blood pressure and heart rate is good, and so is the baby's. He just seems to want to make his debut a little bit early."

"Is it okay for him to come out now?" Roger questioned, squeezing Jen's hand again.

Dr. Myers nodded. "Jen is about thirty-five and a half weeks pregnant. Full term is thirty-seven weeks. Like I said, neither one of them are in distress, so we can deliver this baby today. You're already four centimeters dilated, and we'll probably be looking at a healthy and happy six pound baby boy."

The monitor beeped, signaling an upcoming contraction. Jen managed to breathe through it, painfully squeezing Roger's hand. "Fine. Let's do it," she told the doctor. "Just get me a goddamn epidural."

The doctor laughed. "I can arrange that. I'll have a nurse come in and check on you in a few minutes. Since this is your second child, you'll probably deliver sometime tonight." He smiled and left the room, leaving Roger and Jen alone.

"Wow, this is great," Roger grinned. "Tonight. I can't believe it. I guess the little guy didn't want to wait until the first of October."

Jen pouted and rested her head back against the pillow. "No, I guess not. I wish he would stay in there a little longer, even if I do look like a whale. I want him to be healthy."

"I know," Roger sighed. He rested his hand against her stomach with a smile. "Looks like he didn't like the room service in there."

She stuck out her tongue and kissed Roger quickly. "Mark get here yet?"

"He's on his way with Maureen."

Minutes later, Jen was trying to rest, but that was getting more and more difficult with contractions coming about six to seven minutes apart. Roger had put his feet up on the small nightstand was watching a Real World marathon on MTV. Sandra had joined them for a few minutes to check up on Jen and see if they needed her to get anything, but drove back to the loft to pick up Roger's stepfather Jerry around one. A nurse had swung by to check on Jen's progress, but informed them that she was still only at four centimeters and to hang in there.

"Easy for her to say," Jen mumbled, glancing over at Roger.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with a smile. "It looks like it's gonna hurt."

"You're not very good at this."

He cracked another smile and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "You want me to check in on Abby?"

She nodded. "Please."

"All right. I'll be back." Roger got up out of the chair, heading down the hall with Jen's cell phone.

Jen rested her head back against the pillow and poked at her stomach stubbornly. "Just couldn't wait any longer, could you kid? Huh?"

There was a knock on the doorframe. "You know what they say about people talking to themselves," Mark grinned. He had his hand linked with Maureen's and they both walked into the room. Maureen was holding a bouquet of flowers in a vase.

"Hey," Jen smiled. "Sorry I ruined your wedding day."

Maureen laughed. "Oh it's okay honey. These things happen. Plus, waiting for you to deliver this baby is so much more fun anyway!" She set the flowers down on the nightstand with a smile.

"Hey!" Mark shot back with a grin. "As long as I get my wedding night I'll be a happy man."

She pouted, hands on her hips. "Who said I'm giving you that wedding night tonight?"

Jen laughed at the look on Mark's face. "Easy there, camera boy. But really, I feel terrible. I can't believe I ruined your wedding."

"Don't worry about it," Mark shrugged. "We can always reschedule. It wasn't like a huge planned out thing anyway. Your health is more important right now. So what happened? When did you go into labor? I got some shitty pieced together details from both Roger and Collins, but neither one of their stories matched up with the other."

Maureen shook her head and sat down in the chair near the bed. "Typical."

Jen gripped the rail of the bed as another contraction shook through her body. Mark instantly slid his hand into hers and rubbed her back softly as she breathed through it deeply.

"Better?"

"That sucked."

Maureen bit her lip. "Are you going natural with this?"

Jen shook her head. "Hell no. I wish I could, but I can't. The nurse said when I reach about five centimeters they'll page the anesthesiologist. Anyway, I guess my contractions started sometime last night, but I've been dealing with those Braxton-Hicks contractions for so long that I didn't really think anything of it. So this morning my back really started hurting me, and I fell asleep and woke up about half an hour later. Roger had just gotten out of the shower, and his mom had just gotten there. So Sandra made him call my doctor and we got here around noon. My doctor came in and checked me, told me that the baby and I weren't in any distress and that if they tried to stop the labor I'd just be back here sometime next week anyway. So I'm going to have this baby today, at least it looks that way."

"I can't wait," Maureen squealed. "But we didn't get a chance to start a baby pool yet."

"Lucky me. You still have time. The doctor said he won't be born until probably sometime tonight and that he's guessing he'll be at least six pounds."

Mark chuckled. "Better write that down, Mo. It'll give everyone someplace to start."

"Oh, hush."

Mark sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. "Does the doctor have any idea what caused you to go into labor so early?"

Jen shrugged. "It's most likely spontaneous, but they're not really sure. It could be a lot of things."

"Like stress?" Maureen questioned carefully.

"Maureen…" Mark sighed.

"What? I'm just saying, it's obvious that Jen's been under a lot of stress the past few months." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Anyway, that's what my doctor's been telling me at my appointments anyway."

Mark shot his fiancée a look. "Don't bring it up!"

Jen looked away. "She's right, you know."

He nodded. "I know. There's been a lot going on with you and Roger."

"Yeah," Maureen agreed. "Are you two still planning on getting married?"

"Maureen!" Mark hollered. "Cut it out!"

"Hey, I have a right to know too!" she defended herself with a huff. "God, I need to go for a walk. I don't need your crap right now." She steadily got up out of the chair and walked straight out the door without looking back.

"Sorry," he apologized. "She's been really edgy and sensitive lately."

"It's okay. I don't really know about the marriage thing," Jen answered calmly. "We're not engaged, and I don't know if that's where we're going to end up. I came back here, expecting things to be different, and they were. A lot of bad came out of the good, and vice versa. I'd love to be married to him, but I don't think he wants to commit. I know things have been different between us since he came back from rehab. It's not the same in a lot of ways. We're a lot more careful around each other for some reason—like we don't want to hurt the other in any way, but we are. I know he wants to be a father to Abby and this baby, but if he can't commit, I'm always going to worry that he'll find someone better and leave us like he did for Beth. Until I know that he's positive about us being a family, until I have that stupid ring on my finger, this feeling is not going to go away. I've had my heart broken by him three times already, and I don't want it to happen anymore." Another contraction started, and she began breathing through it. "How long?"

"This one is five minutes," Mark noted.

Jen looked down, only to feel a puddle of warm liquid pooling around her legs. "And my water just broke."

Mark grinned. "Looks like I'm really going to be an uncle again today."

She dropped her head back against the pillows as the contraction ended. "What should I do? You were always so good at this advice thing."

"You want to know my honest opinion?"

Jen nodded. "Yes."

He sighed. "Honestly, I know Roger loves you, but I also know he's scared. Really scared. Of what, I don't know. He wants to marry you, that I'm sure of. But for some reason I think he's scared that if he **does** marry you, he'll only hurt you in the long run. And you can't tell him that I told you this, because this is totally going against the trust of our friendship, but he told me that the reason he hasn't proposed to you yet is because he knows that one day he's going to die on you, Abby, and the baby. He doesn't want to hurt you anymore then he already has. That's what's really going on through his head. He loves you, Jen. He's always loved you, ever since high school. He adores Abby, and he's going to be a great father to this baby. But he's scared of having to leave you one day."

A tear rolled down Jen's cheek, and she reached her hand up to brush it away. "I'm scared too. I'm scared, but I love him. I wish things could be different, but they can't. But I want to share whatever time we have together with him. I don't care if that's ten years, ten months, ten weeks, ten days. One day. I don't care. I love him. I love him so much it hurts." She started to cry, the tears falling into her lap.

Mark leaned over and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back in small, short circles. "Hey. Don't cry. He loves you too. He'll never leave you, not again. Not ever. I promise."

Roger rested his head against the wall, right outside of Jen's hospital room. He had heard their entire conversation, and it practically tore his heart in two to hear Jen sound so upset. And yeah, Mark had been right. He was scared of having to leave her one day. He was terrified. But now he knew where they stood, and knew what he had to do. After the baby was born, he'd propose to her. He wasn't going to waste anymore time. He was **tired **of wasting time.

Mark pulled away by kissing Jen's forehead. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Promise me that you'll never leave me Marky."

"I promise," Mark agreed. "Never.

* * *

Review!


	39. A New Addition

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_August 30_

_4 PM_

Mark hovered outside the door to the hospital gift shop, holding a cup of steaming, flavorless hospital coffee. He had spent the past hour and a half trying to track down his free spirited Maureen after she stormed out of Jen's private room. He had almost given up, thinking that she had returned to the loft to pout with a large bowl of ice cream. But he had found her, and now she was inside the gift shop, a small smile positioned on her face.

He leaned up against the glass slightly, not quite ready to go in yet. He figured that maybe he needed a little time to reflect on the events of the past few months, or better yet, past few years. Mark knew Maureen was still hurting slightly over her first miscarriage in February. She had told him several times that she felt responsible, because 'if she hadn't tried to kill herself, they'd have a newborn baby already'.

Maureen's bi weekly visits to her therapist since February seemed to be improving her morale somewhat, and she often had a smile on her face at all times. She had to give up her anti-depressants for the duration of her second pregnancy, but her mood seemed to remain the same, and the old Maureen had started coming through since.

Mark watched her from outside as she flounced from display to display, her strawberry blonde curls bouncing against her shoulders. She glanced up from the balloon display and noticed Mark watching her from the window. Maureen smiled even wider and blew him a small kiss, which Mark pretended to catch as he laughed.

She quickly joined him outside with a laugh. "You're such a peeping Tom, Mark," she giggled as they walked down the hall and away from the gift shop together.

"Am not," Mark teased back, wrapping an arm loosely around her waist. "I spent the last two hours tracking you down."

"Well, then you're a very **loyal** peeping Tom," she added with a smile. "I'm sorry I ran out before. I don't know why I did, exactly."

"It's understandable." They turned the corner. "I made a few phone calls and called everything off. We'll be getting part of our money back for the reception dinner and what not. They seemed pretty understanding about everything. I think the prospect of a woman going into labor in the middle of the toast made them almost shit their pants."

Maureen let out another laugh. "I can't believe you just said that. That's something Roger would say. You guys are rubbing off on each other again."

"I know," Mark grinned. "They're offering the place to us again at half price, so whenever we're ready to reschedule, we can."

"That's something we'll have to think about, but the sooner the better sounds good to me. I think your mother already hates me," Maureen sighed.

"She doesn't hate you."

"Well she doesn't seem to like me too much," she giggled again. "She called my cell phone before and seemed a little frazzled."

"She's the mother of the groom," Mark reminded her. "Well, that's not really an excuse, because she's always frazzled, but some events really get her going."

_"Hu-llo! Aunt Mo! Uncle Mark! _" Abby had appeared at the end of the hall, tugging tightly on Collins' hand. "C'mon, Uncle Collins!"

"Okay, okay, but you have to be quiet," he reprimanded her gently with a smile. She giggled and slipped out of his grasp, flying down the hall and straight into Mark's awaiting arms.

"Uncle Mark, when can I see Mommy and Daddy?" She peered up at him with her blue eyes, so reminiscent of Roger himself.

"Well, why don't we go and find out?" Mark suggested, placing her small hand in his. "Your mom might just be ready to have your new little brother right now."

"Cool!" she squealed as they edged towards the elevators. "Can I hold him?"

Maureen smiled and ran her fingers through Abby's blonde pigtails. "I'm sure once he comes you'll be able to hold him."

"Daddy said it's like holding a sack of potatoes."

Maureen cracked a smile as she, Mark, and Collins all shared a suggestive glance. "Well, I guess…so."

"That's Roger for you," Collins whispered under his breath.

"You can say that again," Mark smiled wistfully as they all boarded the elevator, Abby pressing the button in with fascination.

* * *

"Roger, please!" Jen moaned. "Shut up!" She braced herself for another contraction as Roger pushed her hair back off her sweaty forehead. "Now is not a good time to give me the life history of Jimi Hendrix!"

"I'm just trying to get your mind of it," he replied apologetically. "You can do this, I know you can." He kissed her temple and watched as the monitor peaked, signaling another contraction.

"Come on Jen, you're doing great!" the doctor encouraged. "You're crowning. Give me another good push."

"Fine," she grumbled. "I'm trying!"

"Good, that was a good one. One more and he should be out!"

"Did you hear that, Jen? One more and he's out, okay?"

Jen shot Roger a nasty glare. "I don't think he stuttered, and yes, I understand English, so I heard him!"

Roger whistled and just squeezed her hand. "Okay."

"Here we go again, Jen. Push one two three—"

"Are you sure it's okay for him to come out? Because he can gladly stay in there for a few more weeks and that's fine with me!" she begged painfully, squeezing her eyes shut tight. "I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm so out of practice! Ow!"

"…Eight, nine, ten, great! He's out!" The doctor lifted the crying baby boy up and placed him on Jen's stomach while he suctioned.

_"Mommy, are you okay?" _Abby's voice drifted in through the open doorway, although she remained out of sight. "Did it hurt?"

"I'm okay, baby," Jen called over. "I'm okay." She ran her hand over the baby's head and looked up at Roger. "That wasn't so bad. A hell of a lot easier then when I had Abby."

"That was…well, it looked painful," Roger admitted casually. The baby's hand gripped his finger tightly as it yawned. "But hey, little guy. You're not so small after all."

A nurse allowed Roger to cut the cord while the doctor cleaned Jen up somewhat. She then lifted the baby up and performed the Apgar scale, as well as documenting the height and weight.

"He looks good, Jen," the doctor told her as he hovered around. "I want to keep him overnight for observation in the NICU just to be on the safe side, but if all goes well, we can move him to the regular nursery tomorrow morning."

Jen nodded. "That's fine."

The nurse smiled as she brought the baby back over to Jen, resting him on her stomach once again. "Six pounds, eleven ounces. Twenty inches long. Nine on the Apgar. Have we got a name for him yet?"

Jen glanced at Roger. "What do you think? Are we still going with Ryan?"

Roger nodded and grinned, kissing the top of Jen's forehead. "How about Ryan James? We could call him Jimmy as a nickname, or Jimi, like Hendrix. "

"Ryan James," Jen told the nurse, who jotted it down. "Ryan James Davis." She leaned over and kissed Roger with a smile. "Go get Abby. I want her to meet her little brother."

Roger nodded. "Should I lead that troops in too?"

"Sure, why not," she replied tiredly, but with a smile.

* * *

Roger poked his head out into the hallway with a grin. Abby came bounding towards him, and he picked her up, twirling her around. "Ready to go meet your little brother, princess?"

"Yup! I've been waiting and waiting," she told him seriously. "Uncle Mark just wouldn't let me in." She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him loosely.

"Mean old Uncle Mark," Roger teased him with a laugh.

Mark laughed and helped Maureen out of the chair. "Yeah, mean old grumpy Uncle Mark. How's Jen doing?" Mark, Maureen, and Collins entered the room first, followed by Roger and Abby, who almost couldn't contain her squeals of excitement.

"You can ask me that yourself," Jen smiled at them, overhearing. Ryan was safely cradled in her arms, wrapped in a pale blue blanket. "But I'm good. He's good."

Maureen cautiously sat down in the chair and smiled, cooing at the baby. "How was it?" The baby let out a small yawn and everyone gave a collective 'Aww'.

"Hard. I was tired a lot, but it was easier on me, since I had Abby already. But I guess it wasn't too bad," she answered. "Abby, come here."

"Okay." Roger set Abby down on the ground and she walked over to the bed. "Can I touch him? I'm not gonna break him, I swear."

Everyone laughed at this. "Yeah, you can touch him," Roger answered. "But just be gentle."

Abby stuck out her hand and rested it on her baby brother's stomach. "He looks like Daddy, Mommy. Is he gonna be a guitar player like Daddy?"

Roger smiled and rested his hand on Abby's shoulder. "I don't know. Maybe one day."

Jen laughed when Abby started making funny faces at the baby. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make him laugh! Ooh, can I hold him! Can I please?"

Roger grinned. "Sure." He helped her up onto the bed next to Jen. He then picked up Ryan in his arms and gently positioned him in Abby's, helping her support the head.

"He's just like a sack of potatoes," she laughed. "Was I this little?"

"A sack of potatoes? Where did you hear that?" Jen questioned with a small smile.

Roger grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "No idea, honest."

"Leave it to Roger to compare a baby to a sack of potatoes," Maureen sighed, rolling her eyes with her dramatic flair.

"Hey, that's enough out of you Aunt Maureen!" Roger shot back with a laugh.

"Hey Ryan, your father's a real jerk!" Maureen smiled, running her hand over the baby's stomach.

Jen shook her head. "I think we all need a Collins intervention."

"I agree," Collins chuckled. "Mind if I hold him for a minute?"

Jen shook her head as Roger helped take the baby out of Abby's arms. "Not at all. But don't take offense if I kick all of you out of here in a few minutes."

"We understand, sweetie," Maureen smiled. "Want us to look after Abby tonight?"

"Oh please Mom!" Abby begged, hopping off the bed. "Please!"

"Hey, do Uncle Collins and Uncle Logan get in on this action tonight?" Collins teased, lowering his arms slightly with Ryan so Abby could peek up at him.

"Duh," Abby mimicked. "Uncle Mark, please!"

"Sure," Mark agreed.

Roger grinned and kissed Jen. "Please Uncle Mark, please!"

"Shut up," Mark retorted. "Hey, where is Logan tonight anyway?"

"He's at the pub tonight. His dad came in to town so they're talking over some renovations of the bar that they need to do," Collins answered. "He said he probably wouldn't get out until late tonight and that he'd stop by first thing in the morning."

"Do you think if we all uh, stopped by for dinner, he'd maybe give us a free meal?"

"No," Collins replied sarcastically. "You were only planning on having your wedding reception there."

"Ha, spoken like a true smart ass!" Maureen teased. "Totally took one for the team."

Mark gripped her around the waist. "That's enough out of you, Miss Johnson."

* * *

Mark, Maureen, and Collins ended up leaving the hospital by cab around seven with Abby in tow. After planning on getting in a quick meal at Logan's pub and restaurant downtown, Mark and Collins promised Jen that they would have Abby in bed by nine and no later, although Maureen seemed to want to bend this rule slightly so she could give Abby and herself a manicure and pedicure. Maureen had begged Mark to let her, using the excuse that she wouldn't be able to see her toes for much longer. Although Mark did slightly feel bad, the smell of nail polish tended to give him and Collins a headache, and after drinking too much at the pub, neither one wanted to deal with that.

Sandra, who had gotten Jen and Roger to the hospital in the first place, managed to miss the birth of her newest grandson by ten minutes. She had run back to the loft to pick up Jerry, Roger's stepfather, and Joey, Roger's twenty-one year old brother. However, she made it just as the pediatrician was finishing up with the baby and held Ryan for the very first time, passing him along to Jerry and Joey in turn.

By eight, Sandra, Jerry, and Joey had left and checked into a hotel downtown for the night with the promise of bringing breakfast in the morning. Ryan would be spending the night in the NICU for observation as just a precaution and was taken shortly after Jen finished nursing him.

Since Roger had run downstairs to the cafeteria to pick up something to eat, Jen was left in an empty room with the television muted. She had managed to dose on and off for the past hour or so, but couldn't seem to fall asleep all the way just yet. She had to admit that she was terrified tonight when giving birth to Ryan. In the final moments, Jen was worried that Roger would take one look at the baby and back out, claiming that because it wasn't his son, he didn't want to have anything to do with it. And he would have been right. Ryan wasn't his son. He was Travis' son, but one look into Roger's eyes after the baby was born told Jen otherwise. She knew that from that moment on, Roger was Ryan's father, and he proved that tonight from when he cut the cord to when he rocked him back to sleep when he became fussy before the nurse took him to the NICU.

Jen rested her head back against the pillow just as Roger strolled back in through the door. "Where the hell did you go for that food? Australia?" she joked tiredly, stifling a yawn.

"This little hospital deli on the corner or something," Roger answered back, kissing her hello. "I told the lady that my girlfriend had our baby and she gave me everything for free."

She laughed. "How is he?"

"He's good. I was just in there and held him for a little bit. The nurses are going to formula feed him for the night so you can get some rest."

"I need it too, but I can't fall asleep."

He grinned and sat down next to her. "Mark called me and wanted to know who's going to take Abby to her tumbling class tomorrow night because he and Mo are having dinner at Mark's parent's house with Cindy and her husband. It's a short notice thing."

"You take her," Jen told him. "Hopefully Ryan and I will be out of her the day after tomorrow anyway."

"You did real good tonight, baby. I'm proud of you."

"Gee thanks," she laughed. "But can I get some sleep now? I think I'm finally able to fall asleep. It's kicking in."

"How long do you think I can stay here before they kick me out?"

"I guess we'll just have to find out," Jen replied as she snuggled up against him. "You did good tonight Roger."

"You did better." He kissed her a final time before they both managed to fall asleep for the night.

* * *

Review!!


	40. Ryan James Davis

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers, both old and new! You guys are great, seriously! Everything with Roger and Jen will be pretty smooth sailing from here on out, for those who were wondering. Thanks Erica, Kelby, EMI, Jennie, Amy, and the-fraulein.

I'm leaving for vacation on the 10th and I will be gone for a week. I don't plan on writing during my vacation, but I can promise you all that I'll try to have another chapter of this story up before I leave, maybe even **two**, if I can manage it between my other active fics.

Thanks for all the support!

I also apologize if the formatting is a little off for this chapter. FF.net seems to be working on something lately.

Mari

. xxx.

October 12, 1998 Roger's 27th Birthday 

"Jen, do you need any help in there? Benny and Mark should be back from the store with those appetizer trays any minute now." Alison stuck her head into the kitchen while sharply keeping an eye on her and Benny's rather active ten-month-old son, Jesse. He had done a combination of crawling and walking around Jen's entire apartment for practically the whole afternoon, only content to sit or stand still when he found something interesting to look at. Alison had proudly told Jen that he had only taken his first steps about a week beforehand and was finally getting the hang of it, although he was a little unsteady at times.

Jen gathered the extra set of paper plates out of the cabinet and shook her head. "No, but thanks. I think everything's set. Roger's mom, Maureen, and Abby should be back any minute with Ryan."

Alison crouched down next to Jesse and smiled as he hugged her loosely around her neck. "You think the walk helped any?"

She shrugged. "I really hope so. Roger didn't get any sleep last night. Ryan was really fussy and wouldn't sleep. I found the both of them asleep on the couch this morning when I took Abby to preschool."

"That totally reminds me of how Jesse was. He used to be so fussy, and Benny used to stay up with him all night to let me sleep, because I'd be up with him all morning."

"Roger's aunt said it might just be gas, so we'll see. Hopefully he's not like this tonight during the party." Jen laughed as Jesse toddled towards her and collided with her legs. "What do you want, little man?"

"Dada bah!"

Alison sighed and got up off the floor, only to have Jesse cling to her right leg as she unzipped his diaper bag. "Roughly translated, he wants Benny home to give him his juice." She tied back her straight, light brown hair with a scrunchie and prepared the apple juice in a small bottle.

"How are things going with your parents?" Jen questioned. She thought back briefly to two weeks ago, when Alison had first told her that her parents, David and Catherine Grey, were in the middle of a nasty divorce settlement.

She pulled Jesse comfortably into her lap and handed him his juice bottle, which he drank thirstily. "Don't ask me why they're getting divorced now. All they're doing is pulling my little sister and I into it. I think they're still pissed off that I married Benny in the first place. You think that even though I'm twenty-four years old and have been married for three years that they'd finally accept him as their son-in-law, but apparently my dad's still holding a grudge about the incident at the Life Café over two years ago when he found out that the kind of people Benny was hanging around were not the sort he wanted **me** to associate with. There's some kind of bad blood between them now, and my father's so disgusted with the rebuilding and rezoning of the apartments after that fire that he's had it up to here with Benny. My father adores Jesse, though. The kid is the apple of his grandfather's eye and he knows it too," Alison laughed, smiling down at the baby.

"Please!" Jen laughed back. "You should see Roger lately! If he's out, he calls constantly. All I hear lately is 'How's Ryan, How's Abby, How are you? Want me to bring anything home? I'll get him, go back to sleep!' If there's such a thing as taking too much parental responsibility, then he wins that award for the year." She smiled just as the front door opened. Sandra walked in with the folded up stroller in one hand and the other hand holding Abby's, while Maureen trailed behind, cradling a bundled up six-week-old Ryan in her arms.

"Hi!" She called out. "Oh Jen, he was so good!"

Sandra smiled and set the stroller in the hall closet. "Didn't cry at all. I think he just needed to get out, that's all. Although he might be getting a little hungry."

Jen got up off the stool and took Ryan from Maureen's arms. "Hey buddy. I'm going to go and nurse him in the bedroom. Abby, Jesse and Alison are here."

"If you need anything, let me know, honey," Sandra told her. "What time is everyone going to get here? Joey called and he's on his way with his girlfriend, Jerry, Lindsey, and her daughter, Marissa. Kim's kids all have the flu except for the twins, so she and Jimmy can't come up. "

"Rissa's comin'!" Abby squealed. "The coolest!"

Jen smiled. "I told you that she would."

The best part was, though, that the idea for Roger's surprise party hadn't even come from Jen herself. Maureen and Benny had put the entire thing together behind Roger's back, with only minor help from everyone else. Roger was supposed to be arriving with Wes, Evan and Steve, the new keyboardist, straight from band practice. Jen knew that he still had no idea what was going on, and definitely wanted to keep it that way.

. xxx .

By four-thirty, Wes had secretly called and informed everyone that band practice was finished for the night and they were on their way to the apartment. Hiding places had been resumed, and Sandra had rocked Ryan to sleep and put down for a nap.

"Mark," Maureen whispered harshly. "Your damn knee is in my back."

"Sorry," he whispered back. "You're crushing my shoulder."

"Hey, shut up!" Benny scolded. He had both Alison and Jesse situated in his lap, the latter of which was dozing quietly against Alison's stomach. "You're foot is in **my** ass!"

Maureen turned around and glared. "Well you're a pain in mine!"

Jen snorted and Sandra let out a small laugh. Abby giggled and waved at 'Uncle Benny', who smiled and waved back, blowing her a kiss.

Collins shook his head, the remnants of a smile resting on his lips. He, Logan, Mark, Maureen, Benny, Alison, and Jesse were stashed in the kitchen, all hidden in a corner where the island blocked them from view. Jen, Abby, Sandra, Jerry, Lindsey, and her daughter Marissa were tucked away behind the couch, while Joey and his girlfriend Alicia had chosen the closet as their hiding place. Every so often a giggle and the sound of lips meeting skin could be heard, and both Sandra and Jen had to whisper over that there **were** young children present in the room.

Frustrated, Maureen rubbed at her back. "I can't sit here anymore waiting for Roger's lazy ass to get here! It's uncomfortable! I have to pee and my back is killing me! I'm almost seven months pregnant, I can't stay huddled up like this!" she whined. She tilted her head to the sound and rammed the back of her head into Mark's nose.

"Christ, Maureen!" he shouted out in pain. "Great, now I'm bleeding!"

"Uh, we've got a bleeder over here."

"Shut up, shut up!" Jen hissed. Footsteps could be heard in the hall outside the door, as well as deep voices. "He's coming. Mark, pinch your nose off or something. Tilt your head back."

Maureen looked like she was about to cry. "Oh sweetie I'm so sorry!" she apologized. "Benny, you ass, get a tissue!"

Benny blinked at her before kissing Alison on the back of the neck. "Me, get a tissue! You're the one that almost broke Mark's nose."

"QUIET!" Collins, Logan, Jen, and Sandra all whispered at the same time.

The key turned in the lock, and Roger appeared, followed by Wes, Evan, and Steve. "Yeah, so that could work—"

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" 

Roger jumped slightly, but quickly regained his composure amongst the laughs of his band mates. "Jesus, what the hell are you all doing here?"

Abby dashed towards him and hugged him loosely around his legs. "Happy Birthday, Daddy!"

He scooped her up and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Thanks baby." She giggled and threw her arms around his neck as he hoisted her up onto his shoulders.

Jen walked towards him and smiled. "Happy Birthday. And before you yell at me for it, this wasn't my idea. It was completely Maureen and Benny's. So go ahead, let 'em have it."

"Oh really," he laughed, kissing her softly on the lips and pulling her close. "Well I've had it in for Benny for awhile now, but Maureen…I think being engaged to Mark is enough punishment."

Benny only laughed as he set a now awake Jesse onto his feet. He stared shyly up at Roger and clung to his father's leg. "Happy Birthday, man. I know things haven't always been the best between us, but I figured you deserved this and all."

"Thanks man," Roger agreed, shaking hands with Benny quickly."

Maureen stared at him and shoved him roughly once she managed to get up off the hard floor. "Happy Birthday, asshole. Don't piss a pregnant woman off."

"Yeah," Collins chuckled. "She already almost broke Mark's nose. Next thing you know, she'll come after your ass in the middle of the night."

. xxx .

October 13th 

_12:30 AM_

Roger grinned up at Jen as she re-entered their bedroom, closing the door only halfway. She looked so exhausted, but in the dim light, she still managed to look beautiful. He admired her carefully, not wanting to get caught staring, but at the same time, wondering what he reaction would be if he did.

A week and a half after Ryan's birth, Jen had managed to squeeze in a half-hour a day at the local gym with her old membership, along with taking up Pilates with Maureen, who seemed willing to try anything that would keep her 'fat ass' in shape for the remainder of her pregnancy. Jen was surprised she hadn't gained that much with Ryan—only twenty-five pounds, compared to the near forty she put on with Abby. Although the pounds had come off more quickly the first time around, Jen found herself almost able to fit into her old size two jeans. Almost. She still had a little ways to go. She even had Roger slip her old bellybutton ring back in, surprised to find that the hole hadn't closed up as she thought it would have.

"Did he give you a hard time?" Roger questioned with a yawn, breaking the silence as she crawled into bed next to him.

She shook her head softly and rested it against Roger's bare chest. "No. He was just hungry."

His fingers entangled themselves in her light brown hair and he closed his eyes briefly. "I told you so."

"How does it feel to be old?" Jen laughed, teasing him. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Old," he smirked at her, planting a kiss on the tip of her nose. "But yeah. I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

"Good. I'm glad." She shivered slightly and tucked the blankets under her chin. "What are you thinking about?"

Roger frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "Are you really happy here?"

Jen sat up slightly, propping herself up on her elbow. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Are you happy here, in New York, with me."

"How can you ask me that," she answered angrily. "You know what the answer is to that."

Roger scoffed and sat up, resting against the backboard of the bed. "You don't deserve this. You deserve better."

"Stop it, Roger."

"It's true!" he half shouted, half whispered. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up Ryan, because they'd have a hell of a time getting him back to sleep. "I'll be dead in five years and you'd have put yourself through all this hell for nothing. Come on, Jen. You still have a chance. You can find yourself someone who can really take care of you forty, fifty years from now."

"How can you say that to me?"

"Because it's the truth. I'm no good. I'm not going anywhere! I'm never going to make it big or be able to provide for you like you know you want me to. The gigs are only going to last me so long, Jen. And then the doctor's bills are going to become more and more expensive. The hospital stays will become longer and longer. I'll be fucking slipping away and I'll leave you alone with our two kids before you're thirty-five years old. You really want to be a widow, Jen? Walk away while you still have a chance."

"What do you want, Roger?"

"What?" He was so angry that the question completely took him by surprise.

"Do you want me to walk away? Do you want to go back out to LA? Tell me what you want." She had gotten out of bed and was busying herself with folding some of Ryan's laundry.

"I want, damn. I want to move out of this fucking city. I want to live near the Pacific Ocean. I want our demo to hit big out on the West Coast. I want Abby and Ryan to get a good education and grow up somewhere that they don't have to be scared to walk down the street. I want to marry you."

Jen smiled and crossed her arms over her chest. "What?"

"I said I want to marry you!"

She stared at him. "Why?"

He jumped out of the bed and pulled her into the living room. "Because!"

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Jen laughed as he twirled her around the room.

"Enough to slightly impair my judgment, but I know what I'm talking about. I can't promise you fifty years. I can't even promise you tomorrow. But I can promise you right now, because I love you. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, knowing that I let you get away a second time. Promise me you won't go away again and I'll promise you that I'll stay right by your side. Marry me, Jennifer Walsh. I wanna marry you!"

Jen glanced down at him. At some point in his speech he had gotten down on his knees and placed his hands on her hips. "You're drunk."

Mark and Maureen shuffled out of the spare bedroom, where they had spent the night. "What are you arguing about?" he questioned, pulling Maureen against him.

"Yeah Romeo, I was trying to get my beauty sleep, which is very hard, considering the kid wants to kick the crap out of me in the middle of the night," Maureen complained with a wide yawn.

Roger pulled Jen over to the two large windows and opened one of them. "I'm gonna marry her!" he shouted out of one of them.

"That's great, buddy! Shut the fuck up!" 

Maureen stifled a giggle and sat down on the couch, curling up next to Mark. "Please Jen, put the boy out of his misery. He's making an ass out of himself."

Jen threw her head back and laughed. Roger was now dancing around the apartment. Mark was just staring at him, laughing so hard that tears were practically welling up in his eyes.

"Yes!" she shouted. "Yes, Roger Michael Davis, I will marry you! I'm gonna marry you!"

He stopped and let out a whoop as he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around. "You're gonna marry me!"

"I'm gonna marry you!" she shouted, squirming out of his grip and jogging towards the window. "I'm gonna marry him!" she yelled out the window into the street.

"Ah Christ, congratulations lady!" 

Roger ran over and gathered her up in his arms, kissing her passionately. "Good."

"I'm gonna be a best man!" Mark shouted, mocking Roger and Jen as he grabbed Maureen off of the couch. "Guess what, Mo?"

"We're gonna get married too!" she squealed, laughing hard as Mark kissed her cheek and hugged her from behind.

"Ha ha," Roger rolled his eyes. "You two are a riot act."

"That's why they're our best friends," Jen reminded him as he carried her to the bedroom. "I'm surprised Abby and Ryan didn't wake up with all the noise you're making."

Mark yawned and started leading Maureen back to the bedroom. "Goodnight, all."

"Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Davis," Maureen giggled. "Keep the noise down. Thin walls."

"Right," Roger smirked. He kicked the door gently shut and laid Jen on the bed, gently lying on top of her. "I think this is a cause for celebration."

"As long as it's a quiet one," she smiled up at him, running her fingers through his hair. "I love you, Roger."

"I love you too, baby." He started trailing kisses down her neck and shoulders as he pulled her tank top over her head. "I'll always love you."

. xxx .

You know the drill. Review please!


	41. Thanksgiving '98

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed on that last chapter. I really tried to get this chapter up before I left for vacation, but that didn't happen. I even caved in and tried writing some on vacation, but I only made it to about a page and then I just had a major block. This chapter is pretty much a filler to hold off to the more important stuff that will take place in the later chapters. I'll try to update on more of a regular basis, because I know how tough it is to wait it out for chapters of a story you really like. Look the next chapter by Tuesday or Wednesday of next week!

* * *

_November 26, 1999 _

_Thanksgiving_

_10:30 PM_

"You sure you're not hungry?" Mark looked over his shoulder from the kitchen of his and Maureen's townhouse and sighed. "I'm putting the peanut butter away…now." He shoved the container back into the refrigerator and shut the door.

"No!"

Groaning, he rested his head in his hands and reopened the refrigerator, taking the peanut butter back out. "No what?" Mark realized that he already knew this answer. Maureen was eight and a half months pregnant, irritable, tired, and **hungry**. Her cravings hadn't really kicked into until her sixth month, but since then, Mark knew the clerk at the twenty-four hour convienence store around the corner on a first name basis.

Maureen waddled into the kitchen, pulling her curly blonde hair back into a ponytail as she did so. "Do we have any salami?"

He shook his head. "Nope. You don't like salami. I don't like salami. Why would we have salami?"

Maureen shrugged and stared at Mark as if he had four heads. "Because I told you to get salami last week and you never got it for me. Therefore I assumed we would have salami this week."

"Well, we don't. Come on, you just ate a huge Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's house. How can you still be hungry?"

"I did not eat a huge dinner!" She rested her hands on her hips and stared at him defiantly. "I think I have a right to eat what I want."

"Not if I have to hear you complaining about much weight you're gaining," Mark pointed out, shoving the peanut butter for what was hopefully the final time back in the fridge. "And you and Cindy fought over the last of the mashed potatoes."

"Well it's not my fault we're both pregnant!" Maureen sat down at the island and pretended to pout. Mark just smirked at her and sat down across from her. "Four kids is a lot to handle, don't you think? I don't want to have four kids. One is enough for me."

Mark sighed and shook his head. It was true what Maureen was saying. He didn't understand how his older sister Cindy managed sometimes. Even though she was an interior designer and worked from home most of the time, three children under the age of ten was a little crazy. Anthony and Rachel were nine and five, while Victoria had just celebrated her first birthday. Now that Cindy had just dropped the bomb about her new pregnancy over dessert, Mark and his family had learned that she was expecting another baby in May. "One is enough for me too," he agreed. "At least until after we're married and both have steady jobs."

"Yeah…jobs," Maureen sighed. "I've been seriously thinking about going back to college. I don't want to have to work at the Life Café for the rest of my life."

"For what?" Mark was only half paying attention, as he was busying himself sorting through the bills.

"I don't know." She shrugged and rested a hand on her stomach. "I really want to do something good. Maybe help people in some way. I just want to prove to people that I am smart and I can do whatever I want with my life. This way Roger can get off my ass and stop thinking I'm some blonde slutty bimbo."

Mark wanted to laugh at that last part, but the expression on Maureen's face was so sad that he knew he better say the right thing or else he'd be sleeping on the couch tonight. "You'll make it."

"Yeah. Maybe. I haven't auditioned for anything since last year, but I read that auditions for an off-Broadway production of _West Side Story _are being held in April. Maybe I'll go out for Maria. It never hurts to try, right?"

"Right." Mark yawned and got up off of the chair. He walked over to Maureen and kissed her on the forehead. "Whatever you decide to do, you'll be great."

"Okay." She stood up off and followed him slowly towards their bedroom. "Are you okay?"

He nodded and pulled back the covers on the bed. "Yeah. I've just got a lot of things on my mind. But yeah, I'm fine."

Maureen smiled and managed to comfortably position herself underneath the sheets. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

Mark turned onto his side towards her and nodded. "Of course. But nothing's wrong, so don't worry."

"Okay. Goodnight." She reached over and turned off the light.

"Night." He continued watching Maureen until he was sure she had fallen asleep, wondering all along how much longer he could keep such a huge secret from her—and trying to figure out the best time to tell her.

* * *

11 PM 

"Jen! Phone!" Roger hollered from their bathroom. He had just gotten out of the shower and was dripping water all over the place from his hair.

"Don't yell like that! I just got Ryan down for the night," Jen warned. "And why can't you answer the phone?"

"Because I'm here and you're there."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and lifted the cordless. "Hello? Yeah, he's right here." Jen jogged towards the bathroom and handed the phone to Roger. "It's for you anyway. It's Wes."

He grinned and kissed her before answering the phone. "What's up, man. Yeah, right."

Jen walked away and ended up on the couch, picking up the notebook that she had been jotting down wedding plans in before. After getting back from Scarsdale and Sandra's around nine, that's all she had been doing since Abby had fallen asleep right away and Ryan just wanted to be fed and held. The more she thought about it, the more work she knew had to be done, which made her think that hiring a wedding planner might not be so bad. Expensive, but at least they were experienced.

The invitations had been sent out a week ago, all one hundred and fifty of them. Most were family and extended relatives of Roger and Jen, along with various old friends from high school and people Roger was close with in the music scene. Jerry and Sandra, Roger's stepfather and mother, had offered to host the wedding and foot most of the bill for two reasons. One, they wouldn't see it any other way, and two, Jen wasn't on good terms with either one of her parents, unless it came down to seeing Abby. Her parents hadn't even bothered to come to the hospital to see Ryan when he was born, and now three months had passed and still, no word from them.

Jen crossed off various things on her list and realized that she had to call tomorrow and make an appointment with the caterer so the food, drink, and dessert list could be finalized with her and Sandra. Then next month the flowers would be ordered, a photographer would be selected, and Jen would be going shopping for her actual wedding and bridesmaid dresses.

Roger came back in from the patio balcony and slammed the glass door, breaking Jen out of her trance. He stormed into the kitchen and began slamming things around.

"What's wrong?" she called over from the couch.

"Nothing."

Jen sighed and flung the notebook on the coffee table. "Is Wes coming over?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" She pulled her hair out of the loose ponytail it had been in and began to finger comb it. It fell just under her shoulders before she pulled it back up.

"Nothing." He started pulling a few more of Ryan's bottles out of the dishwasher and placing them in the drying rack.

Jen grabbed the bottles from him and began drying them. "Then what's your problem? You're never this cranky after we get back from your mom's."

"Travis is on probation and back from rehab. He beat the shit out of his new girlfriend two weeks ago, Alise and she landed up in the hospital. Well it turns out that his daughter from his first marriage, Michelle, and his daughter with Alise, Diana, were in the apartment when it happened so his neighbors called the cops on him after Alise did. Alise is good friends with Wes' wife and took the two girls to their place and they've been staying there for the past week, but Travis doesn't know that. It's just all this bullshit because they took custody of Michelle away from him and gave temporary custody to Alise, who isn't Michelle's real mother, but has been as much of a mother to her in the past few years I guess. Alise has got this restraining order against him, similar to yours, and basically he can't see them until something gets worked out and he gets his act together."

"Why did Wes call you?" Jen continued drying the bottles, trying to pretend that the thought of Travis didn't make her blood run cold.

"Because Travis "ran" into him a few days ago and asked a bunch of questions about me and you. Wes wanted to warn me or something in case he tried anything, but he knows that if he breaks that restraining order he's in deep shit with the police."

Jen grew silent temporarily and finished with the bottles, placing them in the cabinet. "Okay."

"Yeah."

"He won't try anything, wouldn't he?" she asked so quietly that Roger barely heard her.

"No. Definitely not." Roger wrapped his arms around Jen and she rested her head on his chest. "You have nothing to be worried about. Plus Wes called me to remind me that we have that interview with that record label scout Thursday morning."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Okay. Abby has gymnastics tryouts tomorrow for the school team for the four to five age group. Roger…she's really good."

"Yeah, she can tumble and all that. I know, I've sat in on her classes."

Jen shook her head. "No Roger, I mean she's **really** good. Like scarily good for her age. She's four and a half years old. Do you remember my old friend Michelle?"

He nodded. "Yeah, you helped her out last year coaching some of the girls with her at Abby's gym. She pushed you to put Abby in the advanced three to four year old class this year."

"And she'll be moving to the advanced five and six year old class right before her fifth birthday in March. But what I'm saying is, I went to pick her up the other day and she was working with Michelle on her back handspring. Most five year olds can't even master a round off, and here she is doing a back handspring. She can tumble like a pro, she loves the mini balance beam and swinging on the uneven bars. She's mastered her cartwheel and round off. I mean, Michelle told me about all these great opportunities she could have in the next few years. We're talking serious competitive gymnastics for Abby. Abby loves it. I don't know where she gets the energy, but she loves it."

"I know," Roger agreed. "But do you think she's ready to actually go out there and take this seriously? She's not even five years old Jen."

"I know that. She's a kid. I want her to be happy and have fun, and if she's really serious about this I'll pay for it. I'll pay for everything."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Come with me."

"I'm not done talking to you about this," she smiled, but followed him anyway.

Roger led her out onto the balcony, leaving the sliding door half open behind him. He fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet ring box.

Jen stared at it. "What is that? Is that an engagement ring? I told you you didn't have to get me one!"

He laughed and opened the box, taking the ring out. It was a simple platinum diamond solitaire. The diamond sat in the middle, catching the balcony light as Roger slipped it onto Jen's left ring finger. "I promised you a ring. Maureen helped me pick it out, and I went with Mark to get it."

She lifted her hand into the light and smiled, kissing Roger gently. "I love it. It's beautiful."

"I guess you're really gonna have to tell your parents we're getting married after all, huh?"

"The invitations went out two weeks ago. I think they know by know," she laughed. "I'm surprised I haven't got any angry phone calls yet."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground. "I think it's time for bed, Miss Walsh."

"Maybe. I thought turkey was supposed to make you sleepy."

"There must have been something in Joey's, because he was passed out for a good two hours before the football game with Alicia upstairs. That and who knows what else they were doing."

"You know exactly what they were doing before they fell asleep, and we do enough of it too, thank you," she teased him, punching him lightly on his shoulder.

"That's it." Roger scooped her up in his arms and carried her to their bedroom, tossing her on their bed. He pinned her against him and she laughed. "Got anything else to say?"

"Nope," she giggled. "But really babe, the ring is perfect. I love it, and you know you didn't have to get me one."

"You deserved one. I wanted to get you one."

"Thank you." She kissed him deeply, and just then, Ryan began to whimper over the baby monitor.

"I got him," Roger groaned, getting up off of the bed. "Raincheck?"

"Most definitely," Jen smiled. "He probably just needs his diaper changed or he's restless."

"Got it."

* * *

Next up:

Maureen finally goes into labor and Mark's secret is revealed. Travis tries to cause problems for everyone. Roger gets some bad news from his doctor. Abby gets increasinly jealous of her baby brother Ryan.


	42. Six Days Overdue

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I really do appreciate them!

* * *

_January 8, 1999_

_ 11:30 AM_

__   
  
"Okay. Thanks anyway." Jen set her cell phone on the table and sighed. "No luck. Maureen's doctor isn't on call for another three hours, but the nurse told me that unless the real contractions start up there's nothing they can do for her."  
  
Alison sighed and set fourteen month old Jesse down on the floor. He quickly scampered away and kneeled on the carpet in the middle of Mark and Maureen's living room, occupying himself with his set of blocks Alison had brought with her. "They can't even induce her?"  
  
"They won't until at least next week. She's only six days overdue."  
  
"But she's so uncomfortable." Alison shook her head. "I can't believe they just won't let her get the kid out already."  
  
"The hospital told me to have Maureen call back and set up an induction for the 12th if there's no change."  
  
"Hopefully the laps she's doing with Mark around Central Park right now will help out some. At least it stopped raining and cleared up somewhat, even if it is still cold out," Alison added.  
  
"That's all she's been doing for the past two days. Lap after lap around the park."  
  
Abby walked into the kitchen and immediately rested her head on Jen's chest. "When's Aunt Mo gonna have her baby, Mom?"  
  
Jen loosely wrapped her arm around Abby and kissed the top of her head. "Soon baby. I hope real soon."  
  
Alison got up out of the chair and scooped up Jesse, who surprisingly didn't protest for once. "I'm going to try and get him down for a nap. He's starting to get tired."  
  
"Okay." Jen smiled. "I don't know when Roger's getting back from his mom's with Ryan either. I wish he would call. It drives me crazy when he doesn't."  
  
"Oh, I know! Benny does the same damn thing all the time. Men," Alison scoffed with a smile. "Be back in a bit." She disappeared into the guest bedroom and shut the door gently behind her.  
  
"Can we watch cartoons?" Abby questioned, tugging on Jen's hand. "Please?"  
  
"Sure." Just then, Jen's cell phone began ringing. "Hold on a sec. Go wait for me on the couch."  
  
"Okay." Abby sat down on the couch with the remote patiently.  
  
Jen pressed her cell phone to her ear. "Hello?"  
  
_"Jen? Hi, it's Mark."_  
  
"Hey! Is everything okay? Any change?"  
  
_"Yeah, actually I'm getting a cab to take us to the hospital now. Maureen's water just broke."  
_  
"Is she having contractions?"  
  
_"Sort of. She says they're pretty spaced apart and they just started up about half an hour ago. I'm hoping they can induce her at the hospital if they have to. Can you drop her hospital bag off? It's at the foot of the bed."_  
  
"Sure. Let me just call Roger and let him know what's going on. Alison's here, so I'm sure she'll have no problem keeping an eye on Abby for a few. Jesse just went down for a nap."  
  
_"Okay. I'll meet you there."_  
  
"Mark, good luck. Try not to worry too much."  
  
_He laughed. "I'll try, but thanks anyway."_  
  
Jen ended the call and immediately dialed Roger's cell phone. It rang three times before he picked up.  
  
_"Hello?"_  
  
"Hey, it's me."  
  
_"Hey. What's up? Sorry I didn't call, I'm stuck in traffic on the parkway. I left my mom's like an hour ago and there was a three car pile up that they're still trying to clean up."  
_  
"Where are you?"  
  
_Horns were honking in the background. "Right before the exit for Englewood. I should be home in half an hour."  
_  
"Maureen and Mark just left for the hospital. Her water broke."  
  
_"Damn, finally. You heading over there?"_  
  
"Yeah. I'm leaving Abby with Alison. Benny should be here soon anyway."  
  
_"Okay. Want me to meet you up there with Ryan?"  
_  
"Nah. Keep him at the townhouse. It'll be awhile anyway. I have to drop off her hospital bag."  
  
_"Okay. He's asleep anyway, but he's probably gonna be hungry when he wakes up."_  
  
"There's two bottles in the fridge here. Give him one and don't forget to burp him."  
  
_Roger laughed. "I won't. I got this thing down by now."_  
  
"And check his diaper before he tries to fall back asleep."  
  
_"Yep. I gotta go, traffic's finally moving. Love you."_  
  
"Love you too. Bye."  
  
Jen tucked her cell phone back into her purse and walked towards the couch. "Aunt Mo's having her baby, sweetie!"  
  
"Oh, cool!" Abby squealed. "Now?"  
  
"She didn't have it yet, but she will soon!"  
  
"Okay," Abby smiled widely. "I can't wait! It's gonna be the cutest thing ever!"

* * *

_4:30 PM_  
  
Benny ran around the living room of Mark and Maureen's place, chasing after Abby and Jesse. "Mwahaha, I've almost got you both! I prevail!"  
  
Alison gave him a blank stare from the couch. "Don't you think that maybe you should play a game that won't scare them?"  
  
"Yeah, maybe." He laughed and grabbed the afghan off of the couch and tucked it into the back of his polo shirt. "Hey babe, hand me those swim goggles on the table. Alison did so and he put them on. He then jumped onto the top of the coffee table and struck a pose, hands on hips. "Super Benny to the rescue! Charge!"  
  
"Charge!" Abby laughed back. She flew at Benny and he jokingly pretended to get knocked over. "C'mon Uncle Benny, get up!"  
  
Jesse ran over and clapped his hands. "Dad up! Dad up!" he repeated.  
  
"If you're Super Benny then you can't fall down," Abby pointed out, hands on hips. "You can't. It's not allowed."  
  
Alison laughed. Sometimes she couldn't believe half of the things that came out of Abby's mouth. "Maybe we should all...tickle Super Benny?"  
  
"Yeah!" Abby began tickling him, and soon Alison crawled onto the floor and joined her.  
  
"Hey! You're not supposed to tickle Benny!" he laughed, trying to get away. "I'm supposed to save the world!"_

* * *

_   
  
_January 9, 1999 _

_2:02 AM_  
  
"You're doing so great, Maureen!"  
  
Maureen winced slightly at the doctor's encouragement. All she wanted was this baby out of her and now. Lying flat on her back exposed to the world wasn't exactly all that appealing anymore. "I totally regret all the times I begged this kid to come out of me! How many more?"  
  
"Give me one more good one!"  
  
"Come on, you can do it," Mark encouraged, wiping a stray piece of hair off of her forehead.  
  
"Shut up, Mark!"  
  
"Push, Maureen!"  
  
"No!" she bellowed through gritted teeth, but pushed anyway. "That better have done it, because I can't do anymore."  
  
"That's it!" The doctor held up a very pink baby as she began to suction. "Congratulations, it's a girl!" The baby began to cry just then, and Mark cut the cord.  
  
Maureen took one look at the baby and started to cry. "I can't believe this!"  
  
Mark laughed and kissed her forehead. "Can't believe what? You did great."  
  
"I can't believe I did that! We made that, Mark. Look at her. We made her." She watched as the nurses took the baby's Apgar and proper measurements.  
  
"I know we made her." The nurse finally handed over the baby and placed her in Mark's arm. She was wrapped tightly in a pink blanket and had a matching pink cap on her forehead. She let out a tiny yawn and clutched onto Mark's finger tightly. "And she's amazing." He set her in Maureen's arms and watched as she cradled the infant.  
  
"And it only took me fifteen hours, but who's complaining," Maureen smiled, kissing the baby's forehead. "Hello, I'm your Mommy, and that crazy man over there is your Daddy and we love you very much. You'll meet your even crazier Uncle Roger later, but not too soon, because he might influence you and we don't want that just yet."  
  
Mark laughed. "Okay, save the dramatics for the stage."  
  
A nurse walked over with a clipboard. "Have we decided on a name?"  
  
Mark glanced at Maureen, who nodded. All along her pregnancy they had decided on not finding out the sex of the baby so they would be surprised when he or she was born. But they had picked up a male and female name beforehand. He looked back at his baby daughter and Maureen. "Yeah, we have."

* * *

_2:45 AM_  
  
Roger squinted and blindly reached for his ringing cell phone with one hand. His other arm was pinned under Abby, who was sound asleep next to him.  
  
Mark and Maureen had been at the hospital for going on sixteen hours now, and with the occasional call from Mark and Jen, they were all pretty well informed about what was going on. Benny and Alison had crashed for the night in Mark and Maureen's bedroom, while Jesse slept between them. Abby had whined about hating the dark until Roger allowed her to sleep with him for the night in the guest bedroom. Collins and Logan had arrived after seven and taken the pullout couch. All in all, it was a packed house.  
  
Jen had stayed at the hospital for moral support and just to make sure Maureen wouldn't kill Mark, but it was late and Roger just wished she would come home already.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
_"Hey, it's me again."_  
  
"Hey. Did she have the baby?" He yawned and managed to pull his arm out from under Abby's head.  
  
_"Yeah. It's a girl. Thalia Madeleine Cohen. Eight pounds, three ounces."_  
  
"Thalia?" Roger knew that Mark and Maureen had picked out original names, but didn't exactly know how original they were shooting for.  
  
_"It means Joy. At least that's what the baby book says. It's a pretty name."_  
  
"Yeah. So you coming home soon?"  
  
_"Yeah. I'm gonna get a cab in a few after I say goodbye to everyone. Mark's parents are here, and Maureen's are flying in from Chicago at ten."  
_  
"Okay. I'll take Abby to gymnastics in the morning because I have practice anyway."  
  
_"Okay. I'm leaving now. See you in twenty minutes."_  
  
"Tell Mark and Maureen I said congratulations."  
  
_"I will."_  
  
He yawned and hung up the phone. Now that he was wide awake, Roger quietly reached for the remote and turned on the small television. He started channel surfing and finally settled on the travel channel, which was currently hosting a show on southern California.  
  
A while back, after he and Jen had another blowout fight, she had admitted to him that she had contemplated taking Abby away from the city and to California, where her grandparents had a large, two story vacation home in Santa Monica, right near the ocean. Jen had explained to Roger that it was a better community to raise children in, and also had a good job opportunity for Jen herself, who was now debating on whether or not to fill the role of senior fashion editor for the magazine she worked for.  
  
Roger had talked things over with Joey, who pointed out that not only was a good community to raise kids in, but that it also had a good music scene and would help the Well Hungarians get some West Coast exposure. Since the beach would be only minutes away, Roger knew he could even take surf lessons like he always wanted to, since he had discovered how much he enjoyed it when he had to go out to California for rehab. And naturally, his little brother would tag along. Joey's girlfriend Alicia was from the Malibu area, and since they would both be graduating from Boston University in May, Roger knew they had plans to get a condo or apartment and move in together somewhere in that area. If the Hungarians ever decided to move to the West Coast, Roger and Joey, who had replaced Travis as guitarist in March of '98, would be right there already.  
  
It was something to think about, at least. Abby would be starting kindergarten in the fall and Roger wanted to make a decision by then. They'd also need to find a good gymnastics school for Abby to continue her lessons at.  
  
Roger watched Abby stir next to him and yawn. "Daddy, when's Mommy getting home?"  
  
"Soon baby. Soon."

* * *

Things will sort of be speeding up after this chapter. Not too much, but we'll be moving along a little bit. The plot will develop even more.  
  
NEXT UP: How will parenthood affect Mark and Maureen's relationship now that Mark's 'secret' comes out? Will Roger and Jen decide to move to California? Will the Well Hungarians break up or become bicoastal? What's going on with Travis?  
  
Hah, look for the next chapter soon!


	43. The Beginning of the End

A/N: So it's been a long while since I've updated this story, but I'm back now and you all can expect some pretty frequent updates. Thanks for all the reviews and support, and enjoy this next chapter. Also, keep an eye out for something new that I'll be posting within this week. You guys are great!

-Mari

CHAPTER 42

**April 7, 1999**

_Slam._

Abby jumped slightly on her bed, where she had spent the last hour coloring and watching cartoons on her new mini television, a fifth birthday present last month from Uncle Benny and Aunt Alison. Sighing, she picked out a fuchsia crayon and replaced it with the light blue one she had been using from the large crayon box on her nightstand.

_"Abby?"_

"What?" She called out, never looking up from her drawing. She heard a crack of thunder and the lights briefly flickered in her room, but she didn't panic—just kept on drawing.

_"Can I come in?"_

"I don't care."

Jen smiled as she walked through the bedroom door, gently shutting it behind herself before crossing over to Abby's bed. "What do you think about going to Scarsdale this weekend and seeing Grandma and Grandpa Davis, huh? Would you like that? I think Aunt Erica wants to see you, too. She still owes you a birthday present, remember?"

Abby shrugged. "I don't know. Is Daddy going?"

Jen sat down on the edge of the bed and shook her head. "Daddy has to help Uncle Mark pack, sweetie. Uncle Mark's leaving for California next weekend."

"With Aunt Mo and the baby, right?"

"No sweetie, we talked about this. Aunt Mo and Thalia are going to stay in the city and Uncle Mark's going to move away."

"Oh." Abby paused and tugged at her blonde hair, which had grown past her shoulders and fell in long, straight pieces. "Okay." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Is Daddy mad? He slammed the door."

"He's a little upset at Uncle Mark, and that's why he slammed the door, but he's not mad at you, me or Ryan. Got it?"

"Totally."

Jen laughed and kissed the top of her forehead. "Now get dressed in your leotard so I can take you to gymnastics on time tonight," she ordered, referring to the class that Abby was enrolled in three afternoons a week, after preschool, for two and a half hours at the local gym.

"Yup. Can I wear my silver one today?"

"Let me just grab it out of the laundry basket and you sure can."

"Cool!"

Jen walked out of Abby's bedroom, sticking her head into Ryan's room to make sure the eight month old was still sound asleep. He was still recovering from a bad ear infection that had kept both her and Roger up at night for most of the past few days. She was just glad that the antibiotics that the pediatrician prescribed had worked finally. Lately Ryan had been sort of a handful and getting into everything. The whole apartment had been childproofed, since he had a habit of pulling himself up on furniture and cabinets and walking along with support. Jen was sure that soon enough he'd be taking his first steps and then they'd all be in trouble.

She made her way into the laundry room, digging Abby's silver leotard out of the basket. Usually Mark was the one to take Abby to class on Wednesday nights to give Jen and Roger a break, but since Mark was busy packing for California, that wasn't going to happen.

It hadn't really hit Jen that Mark was really leaving, but perhaps that was because Mark had only dropped the whole idea on everyone two weeks ago after claiming he had the offer to since before Maureen gave birth to now three month old Thalia in January. And from there, all hell had broken loose – literally.

Back in December of 1998, Mark had been offered a position as a production and development assistant to a major Hollywood movie director. Not only would Mark be working under this director, but he would also be part of the process of selecting and casting various actors and actresses for new movie and television proposals. All at the same time he'd be working part time on promoting the various movies and actors under the director, as well as putting together press kits. Mark had known at the time what kind of career opportunity this was, but also new that it would be a very demanding job, physically and emotionally, and that it also required a cross country move –one that he knew Maureen and his family wouldn't be too thrilled with.

Mark had kept quiet about the job opportunity until early March, when he had been laid off from his current job and internship. It was then that he accepted the job in California, and one night, Maureen found out accidentally and was definitely not too thrilled. In fact, she had been furious.

Jen remembered that the argument between Mark and Maureen had gotten so intense that Maureen kicked Mark out of their townhouse and he had opted to stay with Collins and Logan for the past two weeks, only returning home to plead with Maureen and to visit with Thalia. Ever since then, things with everyone had been tense, and it wasn't just Mark and Maureen who were having problems.

Collins' AZT dosage had been raised in February, and although he was still for the most part healthy, he had been hospitalized last week with the flu. He and Logan had broken up once or twice since then, but Logan had spent every night at the hospital with him. Both were unsure if their relationship, which had recently become unstable, would work out in the long run.

Jen's relationship with her parents had become practically nonexistent, and she only contacted them in matters concerning Abby or Ryan, and even the times that she did so were few and far between.

Mark's parents were going through some strenuous times, but were both seeing a marriage counselor and had plans to vacation in Cancun in June. Cindy and Adam's marriage was still as strong as ever, and their three children, Anthony, Rachel, and Victoria were eleven, six, and one and a half, respectively. Cindy was also currently eight months pregnant with the couple's fourth and final child, a boy.

Everything was just--

**"Mom!"**

Jen looked over to the laundry room door and found Abby standing there impatiently. "Sorry. Here, baby."

Abby grabbed the leotard and stormed into her room, closing the door roughly behind her.

Jen just sighed and watched as another downpour began. The rain just wouldn't let up lately.

-xxx-

"Did she say when she's coming back?"

Roger finished taping up one of the final large cardboard boxes and stared at Mark. "Who?"

"Maureen."

"Oh, no. I think she took Thalia to the pediatrician today and then was supposed to drop her off at your mom's house, but other than that, no. She mentioned something about going to an audition but she didn't say when she's coming back."

"Oh." Mark pushed a smaller box to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. "I guess I fucked up real bad this time. I want her and Thalia to come with me but she won't even consider that. She just goes on and on about how I betrayed her and how our relationship for the past year has been a lie."

"Not to sound like an ass, but you kept a huge secret from her, man. And to make shit worse, you didn't even tell her about it. She found out from a message on the answering machine accidentally and then you told her. I think I would have flipped out a little bit too."

"Flipped out a little bit? She threw me out of **our** townhouse, but not after throwing back the engagement ring I gave her at my feet."

Roger grinned. "So she's a little upset with you right now."

"A little?!" Mark protested. "A little is Maureen not talking to me for a few days or Maureen giving me the silent treatment. It's been a few days- no, two weeks - and I had to move out. She's being irrational. She says she knew all along that she'd end up a single parent. I'm sorry, what the hell is going through her head?"

"What the hell is going through yours?" Roger questioned, crouching over the box with a Sharpie marker. "I mean, I know this is a big chance for you and it's California, but Maureen's a city girl and you knew this all along. There's no way in hell you can rip Maureen away from the theaters and acting around here. Plus, she's starting classes at NYU in the fall—"

"What?" Mark dropped the tape he had been holding in his hand and gaped at Roger.

"Oh…" Roger swallowed and tossed the marker on the table. "You didn't know."

"I haven't been able to have a civil conversation with her in two weeks! Of course I don't know anything!" Mark shouted. "What is she starting classes for? And how is she paying for them?"

"I don't know, and again, I don't know. You ask her. You're her fiancé."

"Not anymore," Mark replied through gritted teeth. "We aren't even together right now. She's treating me like I'm just a one night stand and oh yeah! We have a baby together."

"Mark, shut up. You're not making sense. You're moving cross-country. You just sprung the whole thing on her, me, Jen—everyone. She's got a right to be mad at you, but she also needs to work things out with you before you leave next weekend."

"Oh, like that'll happen," he grumbled.

"Just remember, this was your decision, so yes, you are to blame for what happened and the consequences. Is Maureen overreacting a little bit? Yeah. She's Maureen. But you brought this on yourself," Roger stated honestly. "There's still some light at the end of the tunnel."

"Not that much light." And with that, there was a loud crack of thunder and the power in the townhouse went out completely.

-xxx-

"How can he be so insensitive? What's going through his head? He knows I hate California!"

Jen sighed and handed Maureen another tissue from the box positioned on the coffee table. Both were seated in the middle of the living room floor next to Ryan's playmat. Ryan, on the other hand, seemed to have lost interest in the mat itself and had crawled over to the window, where he was busying himself with a set of blocks left out from earlier in the morning. Thalia had been asleep in Ryan's crib for the past twenty minutes, and with Abby still at gymnastics for another hour, it had given Maureen and Jen a window of opportunity to meet up and talk things out.

"I can't believe he's doing this!" She took the tissue and wiped at her eyes miserably. "This doesn't make any sense. How am I supposed to live by myself with a three-month-old baby? And we were supposed to get married this spring! Next month, too!"

"Yeah, well so were Roger and I, and look how that worked out," Jen scoffed.

"Yeah, but-- it's California! He said he'd be able to fly back every weekend and whenever I needed him but I can't move out there! I can't just pick up and go and he shouldn't be able to either! I can't even talk to him about this. All we do is fight about if, but if he wasn't so stupid and would have told me in the first place then maybe there would have been a slim chance that I would have been okay with it. Maybe."

"You wouldn't have."

Maureen sighed. "Yeah. You're right. Come on Jen, help me out here. Does Mark really think that it's okay to leave me and our daughter behind? Thalia's three months old. She won't even remember him. She'll start to crawl, talk, and walk without him. I bet he's just waiting for me to give in and move out there with him, but no way. I'm not. I'd move to Chicago and live with my parents before I ever would move to California to live with him."

"California can be nice," Jen suggested. "Parts of it, at least."

"Hmph!"

"Okay, never mind."

Jen picked Ryan up and carefully set him in her lap with the blocks. "Look, I don't know what to tell you, but you and Mark have to work things out. Think about Thalia."

"It's not that simple. He's going to be three fucking thousand miles a way! A phone call and a visit from time to time is all I'm going to get. I can't do long distance relationships. I have a hard time even handling normal, stable relationships."

"He's the father of your baby."

"A real father doesn't get up and leave his infant daughter and his ex fiancée behind."

"I know, but he did offer for you to go with him—"

"I know!" Maureen shouted. "I know, I know, I know! Okay?" she sobbed. "I **know**. We're falling apart, Jen. Everyone is. I feel like I don't even know Mark anymore. The old Mark wouldn't have done this and I don't know what he's trying to prove, but I still love him. I just can't be with him right now."

-xxx-

Review!


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